Okay, my brain is officially fried.
Welllll, I read your reviews (after writing this chapter :S) and those who wrote adivice all said that there should be conflict in this chapter...luckily, great minds think alike (or fools seldom differ XD) and that's what I've written! So I took your advice! (Well, I didn't have to change what I'd written XD) and THANKS all for your help in beating (partially) my writer's block. It's still there, but motivation kills it, and you guys make me motivated X3 THANKIES!
Anyways, reviews (I love answering these even if no-one actually reads this X3)
TGyamiBakura: Yah-huh, reaching an end (well, a couple of chapters to go, I have a tendancy to drag things out, so it may be long XD) And thanks for all the advice! Plenty of conflict in this chapter, but it won't be solved for a while, I fear XD Though I'm not sure, this fic seems to have a mind of its own...X3
Orca Owl: Hehe, yeah sorry about that XD That's the problem with shuffling the chapters about XD Anyways, thanks for reviewing and for the harpoon attack X3 Eats you up? X3 (chomp)
Wilfred Humbug: Bwahaha!! (Gets out pins and starts attacking Orochi) X3 And yesh, Kakashi is the root of all wisdom (in the smex department, anyway...well, he must be, he got Iruka to let him smex him in school, now that's an achievement!) Thankies!
chocoGONEsushi: Woot! Go, bat go!! X3 And yeah, Kakashi is worship-able. And an ex-manwhore XD (I mean, look at the guy! Who wouldn't want that? XP) And Naruto...ooohh the angst. And the baldness! Naru-chan was a late developer X3 But he's 16-ish now and (finally) hit puberty XD Yup, Shippy one! (which I just bought the manga for, despite having downloaded it already X3) And YAY cookies!! Cookie to you too! XD
Who cares (? XD): Wow. That's SCARILY accurate! Well, my idea was pretty cliche, but I love the cheese, so yeah XD My only concern was that I wasn't sure about putting Sai in, since he's a new(ish... well, not really) character... but I think I might love the little penis-obsessed arse too much to leave him out X3 Anyways, thanks so much for the advice! XD
Susurinaki : LOL XD Woot for the FUZE bottle of DOOM! Thankies!! XD
too-lazy-to-log-in : Umm, no point really. I just find it fun! Oh, wait, I shouldn't be admitting to this, right? What I meant was, YES there is a point! Um, it's deeply philosophical and... yeah XD well, seriously, I think the dreams are there to reflect Naruto's unconscious state of mind, i.e, how he feels but doesn't understand. Some say dreams are memories, some say they're your deepest desires, you can decide! X3 I just like writing them XD
Freez-DeathLiver : Whoa, loads of comments!! Yay!! Hehe, 6:30?! You must be crazy! XP (well, I seem to stay up until 6:30, so I guess I'm just as crazy!) Anyway, thankies!!
Annnnd, out of time (again). Must sleep XD
Soooo, Naruto has a slight mental breakdown, and angst ensues!
Chapter 13
Naruto P.O.V
It never hurt in the morning. Sasuke told me that most people limped the day after, but I never felt any pain. I always had healed quickly.
But the mental pain… it had been three days, and I still felt dirty.
Every time. There was a thrill in the idea of doing something we shouldn't, and it felt good, but that didn't stop it feeling wrong.
I suppose I was more shaken by the dream than I'd cared to admit. It had suddenly hit me that this was, by no means, going to last forever. There would have to be a point when Sasuke would move on, get into a real relationship, and leave me behind.
Sasuke's alarm clock read '05:06'. It was far too early to be getting up, but I knew that I wouldn't be sleeping again this morning. I wriggled out of his grip and detangled my arms from around his waist.
I stepped back from the bed and, for a moment, just stared at his sleeping face.
He really is attractive. No wonder all the girls like him.
…That's right. There isn't a girl who'd turn him down.
Sasuke was out of my league. He always had been. I guess that was part of the thrill.
I turned away from him and headed towards the en-suite, throwing my clothes to the floor absentmindedly. I stepped into the shower and turned the water on, hot. So hot it stung my skin, but it didn't matter. I barely noticed the scolding water. My heart stung much, much more.
I let it go too far. I let it get out of hand, and now it's going to hurt.
I sank to my knees, the too-hot water still cascading over me. Cold tears mixed with boiling droplets.
I have to end it, before it's too late.
I didn't even notice the raven haired boy coming in. I didn't notice as he ran over to the shower and started shaking me, his dry hand tightly gripping my wet shoulder.
It's already too late.
"Naruto! What the fuck- argh, fuck that's hot!" He reached over and turned the water off, keeping one hand on my shoulder. I kept on staring into space, not even comprehending what I was doing. I was shutting down, shutting him out, sobbing and staring, my eyes fogged over with tears.
I have to end it.
"Naruto! What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Sasuke was yelling at me, yanking me out of the shower, throwing towels on me. I didn't speak, even as he hugged me, soaking him and the boxers that he slept in. We stayed like that for a while, hugging; resting in Sasuke's arms.
I have to end it now.
"Fuck, Naruto. You're so fucking stupid!" He was holding both my shoulders, and I was staring beyond him, at the light teal bathroom tiles.
"Sasuke" I croaked. "Sasuke…we have to stop this…" I felt his body go rigid around me. "I don't want to do this anymore" My voice faltered, and I stumbled over my words "I- we're…I mean, we're just doing this for pleasure, right? It's not a relationship…we should stop" I didn't look at him, because I knew that if I did, he would see the tears, and the truth in my eyes.
My voice said that I wanted to stop, but my eyes just said I love you.
And then he pulled away from me, and let me fall to my knees. Tears overflowed and I wiped them away with an unclothed arm. I love you, Sasuke. I love you so much that this is breaking my heart.
"Fine." He muttered, walking away from me. He turned the handle on the bathroom door and then paused.
"Naruto- if I…I…" He stopped midsentence, and then sighed. "Never mind" He muttered, and walked away, leaving me alone as sobs wracked my body.
I love you! I wanted to yell, but all that came out were quiet cries.
In less than a minute, all we were, all we had, was over.
Sasuke P.O.V
And that was the day, Naruto and I "Broke up".
Although, with what he said, I suppose that's not really the best way to put it.
We stopped having sex.
It happened so fast I could barely comprehend it. The night before, I had been so happy. I think that I might have even confessed soon. But then he told me that we should end it, and I somehow couldn't tell him no. I simply muttered an agreement and walked out.
And then I decided to tell him.
"Naruto-" I started; my throat closing up as I fought back tears. "If I…" I couldn't say it. "I…" I trailed off. And then it was too late. We were broken, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I was too scared to stop this ending. "Never mind" I muttered, gritting my teeth and curling my hands into fists.
And then I walked away, leaving him alone.
Why couldn't I say it?! Again!
This was the second perfect time to tell Naruto that I loved him, that I didn't want to let him go.
This was the second time I'd screwed it up, the second time I'd frozen, and somehow lost those words.
I'd been given a second chance, and it looked as if it were going to be my last.
"If I told you I was in love with you, would it make any difference?" Those words that I was going to say, that I should have said.
And now it was over.
I threw myself onto my bed and curled up in my covers. Tears I didn't know I'd been holding back suddenly broke through, and I found myself sobbing into my pillow.
What a fool I've been. Deluding myself that Naruto could possibly have feelings for me. Taking him physically because I knew that I could never have his love.
And I called him an idiot.
Naruto P.O.V
I could scarcely hold back my tears as I headed to school. I was slightly late, and Sasuke had already left a while ago. He'd left almost an hour early, obviously trying to avoid me.
I probably looked terrible. I'd been crying all morning, so my eyes were puffy and bloodshot. It was a good job that Iruka hadn't seen me leaving, or he would have definitely stopped me from going into school again.
I arrived at the main gates too late for assembly but too early for lessons, and sensed something odd. Still, I wondered in, my eyes still stinging, and headed towards the office to declare myself late. I didn't, however, make it to the office, since a strong hand yanked me into an empty classroom.
I stared up at two pairs of eyes, one light-green and dark-rimmed, and the other pale violet. Both were utterly terrifying, and both were my closest friends. Apart from Sasuke.
And then I started thinking about Sasuke, and the stinging in my eyes got even worse.
"Why are you late?" An icy voice demanded, and I looked down. An uncomfortable silence settled, before Neji put his hand gently on my shoulder.
"Why have you been crying?" He asked softly. Neji was pretty nice when he wasn't being a jerk or pretending to be so that others wouldn't bother him.
"I…haven't" I lied feebly, not even bothering to look up and meet his eyes.
"Uzumaki" I'd known Gaara for years and he still called me by my surname. He was just like that. You don't question Gaara. And you don't lie to Gaara.
"S-Sasuke." I whispered, and suddenly a dam broke. Tears flooded down my cheeks and I threw my arms around the closest person, which happened to be Gaara. Neji still had his hand on my shoulder and I sobbed into the both of them.
After crying for a minute or two, I pulled away from them and sat down at a desk, throwing my bag down.
And then I told them everything.
And they just sat and listened as I spoke. I told them about the sex, the conversations, and the feelings. And then I burst into tears again, this time curling into the desk and sobbing into my arms as they digested the information.
I'd had sex with my best friend. My male best friend. It was disgusting, it was wrong, and there were never meant to be feelings involved.
And then I'd gone and fallen in love with him, and ruined it all.
It was wrong, all of it. Anyone else would have been horrified by our actions, but these two… I knew they'd actually understand.
"Do you really love him?" Was the first question Neji asked me, and I nodded in reply.
"So much!" I cried. "But he- he doesn't even care! He's just a horny bastard!" The tears fell openly and I hiccupped and shook, but I didn't care.
"But it's over, right? You ended it?" Neji asked leaning on his desk and trying not to looked as concerned as I knew he felt.
"Yeah"
"Then what's the problem? It's over." Neji narrowed his eyes in confusion and then sighed. "But you don't want it to be over, right?"
"I do! But…"
"So let me get this right…" Neji rubbed his temple, looking frustrated. "You've fallen in love with Sasuke, but he's just using you, so you decided to end it, and now you regret it and want to go back to being fuck-buddies?"
"…I'm a terrible person, aren't I?" I sniffed, looking up and my friends pathetically. They looked back at me; Gaara with his stone-moulded face and Neji looking somewhere between sympathetic and livid.
"No" He gritted out, his hands balled into fists. "Uchiha is a terrible person."
I suddenly had to fight back the urge to defend the bastard, since I thought it might not be the best idea for the situation.
"What do I do?" I asked, burying my face in my arms again.
Silence settled over the two. Obviously, I wasn't the only one finding it hard to come up with a solution.
"Any advice?" I practically begged for some pearl of wisdom, but only got blank looks in return.
"Perhaps it's fate." Neji commented. I gave a groan and hoisted myself to my feet, heading for the door. As I pushed open the door, I heard Gaara's last piece of advice.
"I could kill him for you."
...wow, I wished I had friends like you, Gaara-chan XD
REVIEWS are LOVE! Spread the love! X3