I felt can't believe I wrote this, but since so many of you asked for a sequel to the previous princess Vivi chapter, I couldn't help but oblige. Enjoy!
Chapter 13: Amazon Lilies and Sanji
"And what would possess you to venture onto forbidden territory? You know all to well that any male who steps foot into my territory wikk die a painful death. Even if you are… technically a woman now." Boa Marigold glowered at the neo buxom blonde in front of her.
Sanji was torn, part of him wanted to lavish attention on the beauty in front of him…er, her. But several things were keeping that from happening, first off, he had been shackled to the floor with enough chains to wrap up the Thousand Sunny. Second, Boa Marigold was flanked by her sister and a hundred Haki wielding armed guards. And even a hormone besotted man like Sanji knew that he'd be dead before he got the chance to noodle dance.
"Ya see, it happened like this…" Sanji chan blushed.
The crew chef was running for his life.
"Come to me, Sanji my love!" Zoro cackled,
"I promise I'll be gentle with a Super guy like you!" Franky bawled.
"I'm pretty sure I can talk Kaya into a threesome!" Usopp yelled.
"YOHOHOHO! May I see your boxers?" Brook yodeled.
Chopper was humping his leg.
Actually, to be more accurate, he was running for his sanity and his chastity.
How did this turn of events come about? Well, to coin a phrase, Sanji pulled a Buggy.
After years of searching, the sea cook found a lead to realizing his dream: a merchant who claimed to have a map to the All Blue. Naturally the kick master jumped at the bargain. The price was pretty simple; one uneaten devil fruit.
Two weeks later during a raid on a marine ship, the crew stumbled into the ship's hold and Sanji found a small chest containing a pair of devil fruits. One went to Vivi (and lord knows how well that turned out), the second was pocketed by the curly browed man.
The days passed as the fruit laid innocently in Sanji's bunk, just waiting to be given to its new owner.
Then disaster struck.
Sanji was examining the fuzzy looking purple berry bundle, wondering idly what kind of devil fruit it was.
"Sanji! Chopper, Usopp and me are playing drum Island! Wanna join in?" Luffy babbled, barging into the men's quarters.
"MRPH!" the sea cook gurgled, stuffing the fruit into his mouth and shaking his head.
"Too bad. We need someone to play Sanji…" the captain pouted, shuffling off.
The Black leg practitioner let out a sigh of relief as he turned around and leached for the leafy stem.
"Hey! Are you sneaking food and not sharing it with me?" the rubber man frowned, sticking his head back in.
CRUNCH!
Biting down in reflex, Zoro's rival severed the stem with his teeth. His throat burned as the berries slid down his throat.
"Oh shit." He though.
The sea cook was in a deep blue funk for the next week. He could all but see his dream going up in smoke.
"Now I'll never find the All Blue…" Zeff's apprentice moaned.
"What's the matter Sanji kun? Want me to kiss you and make it better?" a male voice crooned.
The cook let out a manly shriek of terror as he felt something poke him in the butt had no business being there.
"Marimo! What the hell?" the chef squawked indignantly upon seeing the moss head's lewd look.
Thus started the madness.
It was only a few short hours later that Usopp wandered into the mast hard enough to bend his beak, all the while muttering about a menage a troi.
Franky shut himself up in his room for three days, when he came out he had made a life sized statue of the Blond (and might I add that alarm bells went off in Sanji's head when he saw the not only was the thing not wearing any clothes, but it was accurate: How the hell had the cyborg known about that birthmark?).
Zoro stared and sighed longingly at the curly browed cook. It got to the point where Sanji had to threaten to turn his male crew mates into a Consommé if they didn't get their heads out of their collective asses and fix whatever was making them depressed.
Five seconds later, a chase ensued.
"Thank the Lord that Luffy is on His Honeymoon with Nami chwan and Boa swan! I don't even what to think about what he would do with gear third!" the martial artist shuddered from up in the crow's nest.
"Problems cook san?" a voice to his left asked.
"ACK!" the culinary master yelped, lurching backwards and falling out the open door.
"My, my, he seems excitable today." Robin drawled as the cook plummeted.
After Sanji came too and recovered from his concussion, the archeologist thought of a frighteningly simple solution.
THUNK!
The cook gasped as the dark haired woman plunged a needle into his neck and pressed the plunger.
"What the hell did you do to…me…" The cook trailed off as he felt his Little Sanji and the dangle duo go away and be replaced by Ms. Sanji and the mammary twins.
"I injected you with a vial of Iva-san's strongest gender switching hormone. Nami got him to agree to supply her with a hundred vials in exchange for reducing his debt by thirty percent." The morbid goth replied.
"Wha…buh…huh?" the cook gurgled.
"Also, since your problem is apparently related to the fact that you attempted to sneak off with that Rambutan like devil fruit, the solution would be to go some place where men will never find you until you get a hold on these powers." Robin continued as she led him to a dinghy.
"Muh…guh?" the cook babbled as he tried to come to grips with his lost manhood and the realization that he had apparently eaten the Yaoi Yaoi no mi.
Say hello to the serpent sisters for me." She deadpanned as the woman conjured a pair of hands to undo the mooring ropes.
SPLASH!
"Now to bring Franky back to the land of the heterosexual. Now where did I put that East Blue Champaign and those fuzzy handcuffs?" the half android's significant other uttered
"And that's how it happened." The cook said, giving the women his best puppy dog look.
Five minutes later...
CLANG!
The neo woman pouted as the cell door slammed in his/her face.
A few words before the close of this chapter. I'd like to thank all of you for your help. I offer my profound thanks to those who offered their suggestion to a good scanlation site.
Second, as usual, read, review, and check out the two new challenges on my profile page.