Hey All! I appreciate every comment, review and PM that I receive. Something you all have such strong opinions, that I decide to tweak my story a little bit. Thank you all for taking the time! Some of you were happy that Fitz slammed on the breaks, and some of you were happy that he did, but everyone agrees on our hatred of Edison. I apologize in advance for the language.
Her head shot up, as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice water over her, as the realization of his rejection washed over her. She vowed to mask her feelings – just as she did with everyone else. Her tears threatened to break through their dams, but she refused to let him see her cry again. She refused to let him see her again. She buried the feelings of hurt and disappointment, the familiar feeling of emptiness spreading through her .
Here she was, sitting half naked in front of a man who would fuck anything with a pulse, and he was rejecting her. She could feel her anger bubbling beneath the surface; anger at her douche-bag of a husband, her man whore of a boss, but mostly at herself. Edison had tried to warn her that Fitz was Satan himself, but she hadn't listened. "I should have fucking listened," she inwardly scolded herself. Olivia Pope would never open herself up to some rat bastard, only to allow him to prey on her emotions. Who the fuck was she? She was not the kind of girl to believe in love at first sight. She was never one to believe in those bullshit Disney fairytales, always believing that life was more like the bloody Grimm version. This would never happen again.
It was obvious to her that she was the problem in this equation. Obviously, she was flypaper for dysfunctional and emotionally stunted men. She briefly contemplated the idea of becoming a lesbian or possibly a nun; swearing off men forever.
. Olivia's world was black and white, and she hated when things didn't fall neatly into one of the two categories. This, was not black, or white. She couldn't understand what had happened. Not even 10 minutes ago he was spouting some bullshit about her being the love of his life. Ten minutes ago, she almost believed him; almost. "What the hell? Why would he even bother? It obviously wasn't to get me into bed," she thought to herself.
Her mind was racing. "That slimy mother fucker," she thought when she realized what he had been up to. She was just his pawn in this little rivalry between Fitz and Edison. Everything was clear to her now. She was an almost revenge fuck. It all made sense. The phone conversation was playing out in her head – Fitz calling Edison to tell him how easy his wife is – telling him how she couldn't keep her hands off him – and then telling Edison that he wouldn't even fuck her – not even as revenge.
Hatred and red hot fury were the only visible emotions in her otherwise vacant eyes. He imagined that this was the look that Lorena Bobbet had on her face before she went seven shades of samurai on her husband. He quickly scammed the room, looking for anything that she might try to use as a weapon. Luckily, there was nothing in arms reach; however, he was relatively sure that Olivia wouldn't need a weapon. She was more of a "rip his balls off with her bare hands," kind of girl. He needed her to understand; he didn't want her to stop; and it took every ounce of will power for him to grab her wrists.
She raised her hand, preparing to slap him hard across the face, stopping herself - he wasn't worth it. The molten fury that burned in her eyes had him reaching to protect his balls.
She blinked back the tears, willing herself not to cry.
"Unbelievable. Fucking unbelievable," she mumbled as tried to dismount herself from his lap. She scanned the room, searching for where her bra and sweater might have landed. He caught her hips, pinning her into place, just as she began trying to slide off his lap. She began thrashing against him, causing him to hold her tighter; unwilling to let her go. He knew that if he were to let her go, she would be back in D.C. before the sun rose over the Potomac.
"Let. Me. Go," she said through gritted teeth.
"Sweet baby," he began, trying to kiss her bare shoulder.
"Don't fucking call me that," she spat. She looked at him, her eyes narrowed and her jaw tensed He prayed that his touch would soothe her, at least long enough for him to explain. She jerked away almost violently, as if his kiss might burn her.
"Do. Not. Touch. Me", she changed over and over as if it were her personal mantra.
"Please just give me a chance to explain Livvie."
"My name is Olivia - not Livvie – not Sweet Baby. And you don't need to explain. I understand, it's not personal. I was just a means to an end," she paused, trying to even her trembling voice.
" Go ahead. Call him right now. You are going to be disappointed though. He already called me a whore tonight, but you get to prove that he was right," she said refusing to look at him. "So your revenge fuck, or mock revenge fuck or whatever the hell you want to call it, was a complete waste of your fucking time."
Fitz's grasp around her hips became almost vise-like, and would surely leave bruises on her already marked skin.
"What the hell are you talking about Livvie?" he asked moving his head trying to put himself into her line of sight.
A frustrated sigh the only response he received.
He needed to explain so much to her – but he had so many questions that he needed answered. "Who did she think he was going to call?" "Who was he going to have to kill for calling her a whore?" And, "What the hell is a revenge fuck?"
"Look at me," he said in the most commanding voice he could muster. She refused, still trying to break from his hold.
"Look at me Olivia," he roared, startling her before she returned to her defiant gaze.
"I love you Livvie. I am in love with you," he said each word confidently; his words making her cringe. "The last thing in the world I wanted to do was stop you. The doctor said 4-6 weeks before you could have sex. We need to respect that. I was already losing control and it was still in my pants. Once I felt your hands on me – your mouth on me; there would be nothing that could keep me from being inside of you. I couldn't have controlled it. I would have hurt you Livvie. I never want to hurt you."
Part of her wanted to listen to what he was saying- wanting to believe him. She had been hurt badly so many times in the past, that building up walls around herself was the only way to keep her from crumbling. But her self doubt and low self esteem were never far beneath the surface. Her approach to her personal life is what allowed her to dominate in the professional arena. She needed to cling to it now more than ever. She need to keep it together just long enough to get away from him. When she was alone, she could allow herself to fall apart. Until then, she needed to stay strong and embrace her inner gladiator.
"That isn't the only reason I stopped you," he said, a long silence hanging between them. She stole a glance in his direction, long enough to see that his head was bowed and his brows were knitted. She expected that he would eventually loosen his grip on her, but he was clinging to her like a life raft.
"If you have something to say Grant, say it and let me the hell go."
He took a deep breath, "While you were getting your x-rays, I went to the lab and had a full STD screen." She turned her head to look at him. How could she have been so stupid? His dick was international and she hadn't even cared about the possibility of catching something.
"I get tested routinely Liv," he said before continuing, " and it has always been in the contract that before I would consider employing a girl, that she had to have been tested and clean."
Her demeanor began to soften. "That's why you stopped?"
He nodded, one of his curls falling into his forehead. "I love you Olivia. I can't risk doing anything that might hurt you."
He continued, "I haven't always used protection. But, I started using protection regularly about 3 months ago after one of the girls had a pregnancy scare."
"OK." Almost believing him, she slid off his lap and onto the couch as soon as he loosened his grip on her.
She stood up, wrapping her arms around herself to cover her naked breasts, her eyes darting around the room searching for her sweater.
"We need to talk Livvie," his voice was serious as he extended his hand up to her, wanting her back on the couch with him.
"I need to find my God damn shirt, or bra or something," she said in a near panicked state.
He stood up and removed his shirt. "What the hell is he doing?" she wondered. "If he thinks that he has any chance of touching me, he is a special kind of delusional."
He took a step toward her, needing a chance to reconnect. Instinctively she took a step back, and slowly raised her hand to stop him. He knew her walls were up and they were going to be difficult to break down this time. He took another step forward, allowing her hand to press into his bare chest, effectively stopping him. Before she could take another step back, he grabbed her wrist, slowly sliding her hand up and rested over his heart.
"I'm sorry Liv. Just talk to me. Or let me talk - all you need to do is listen. Don't shut me out," he begged, his eyes never breaking their contact with hers.
All traces of playful Fitz were gone. His eyes were serious, and maybe a little bit scared as they bore into her. His heart was racing beneath her fingers, as she felt her hand rising and falling with each choppy breath he took. He was still looking at her. She couldn't think when he looked at her like this, she felt hypnotized by this man.
Slowly, he lifted up his shirt, sliding it up her left arm, around her back, before slipping it over her right arm.
"It doesn't button anymore," he said with wink, "but you can wear this until we find your shirt." He felt her body tense, her breath hitching as he pulled the shirt tightly around her and carefully tucked it into her pants.
She pulled back from him, trying to put as much distance between the two of them as she could. She took a deep breath; she was wrapped in his scent; wrapped in him. Her emotions were all over the place and she needed to get away from him. Control was slipping away. She could feel herself melting, beginning to believe the words he was saying to her. She kept reminding herself that he was a businessman; and like politicians, he made a living out of lying to people. "It's probably his superpower. Don't let him get into your head," she reminded herself.
"I think I want to shower now and head to bed," she managed, in an effort to get him to leave.
He realized that needed to keep her from retreating into her head until he could get her to listen to him.
"We need to talk Livvie."
"Fitz, I'm exhausted. I have a lot to do tomorrow before I head back to D.C."
She was leaving him. He couldn't believe that she was actually leaving him. He closed his eyes as if he had been struck; he broke their connection, bowing his head before turning away. He staggered a few steps before sinking down onto the couch
"I'll meet with Cyrus in the morning to make sure he understands our strategy," she continued, her voice devoid of any emotion. When he wasn't looking at her, she was able to sound strong – sound like she was in control. She kept her eyes fixed on a clock that was hung on the wall, not daring to look in his direction.
"I can handle everything else from Washington. Thank you for considering me for your campaign manager, but I don't think it would be the right fit for me right now."
Fitz felt like he had been sucker punched. She was on top of him and how she was leaving him. It had all happened so fast that he couldn't process what was happening. He knew that there was always the possibility that she would leave, but he didn't think she would actually do it. He had stopped her in part to avoid this, knowing that if they went too far, she would regret it in the morning and bolt. Now, she was leaving anyway. He took comfort in the fact that for once, he had done the right thing. He rested his elbows onto his knees, and lowered his head into his hands.
She began walking to him, her words still being spoken to the clock on the wall, rather than to him.
"Thank you for everything Mr. Grant," she said holding her hand out to him, looking at him for the first time. He looked broken as he roughly ran his hands through his hair over and over. Her icy exterior started to melt.
"One minute Liv. Sit with me for one minute," he begged, his voice shaking as he spoke.
She should walk away, walk into the bedroom and lock the door until she heard him leave. She shouldn't look back; just forget about Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III and go on living her life. She turned, using all of her inner strength to do just that. She stopped, closing her eyes, willing herself to keep moving. The image of him sitting on the couch, head in his hands flashed through her mind. Her gut believed him, her heart believed him; her brain was the last hold out.
If he was being sincere, she would officially take the title of High Holy Bitch for leaving him here after all he had done for her today. But, if he was using her to get to Edison, she was playing into his hand. He would break her; the kind of devastation that she wasn't sure she could recover from.
"Please don't hurt me," she whispered so quietly that he barely heard her, before she sat next to him.
They sat in silence. He sat back as he felt the cushions move next to him. He made no attempt to touch her, nor did she make any attempt to touch him. Minutes passed, both too involved in their thoughts to speak. He couldn't let her leave.
He stood, and her eyes immediately darted to him. He was leaving. He looked down to her, watching her blink back tears.
"This is goodbye," she thought, willing herself not to fall apart, and reminding herself that it was for the best. She managed a smile, but he didn't reciprocate. He couldn't fake smile; not even for her. His eyes mirrored her own – hopelessness and devastation. His eyes locked onto hers, he took one step before lowering himself onto his knees in front of her. This half naked man in front of her was going to be the death of her. Her mind couldn't keep up and her heart was racing so fast that she thought it might give up on her at any second.
He submitted to her, laying his head in her lap. He said nothing, his cheeks rested on her thighs, his arms hung stiffly at his side. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open a bit. She couldn't think of anything to say, or anything pull her back from the ledge. She shattered, tears flowing uncontrollably from here eyes. Her teeth bit into her lip to stifle any sounds that threatened to escape.
She instinctively caressed his head, soothingly running her fingers through his hair as she fell apart.
" I'm asking you to talk to me," he begged. "Please, Livvie."
"OK," she whispered.
He lifted her head from her lap, staring straight into her tear stained face. She jerked her hands up to her cheeks, frantically trying to rid her face of tears.
"Let me." He lifted his thumb running it across her cheek, wiping her tears. He smiled up at her, his lopsided grin and unruly hair causing her to smile back at him.
He lifted himself onto the couch, sliding next to her. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his naked chest. She was trying to pull herself together, but she was too far gone. Her tears fell down onto his chest, as he rubbed tiny circles on her back. He closed his eyes, and moved his hand lower, slipping his hand under her shirt. His fingers glided over the smooth skin of her back. He leaned down, kissing her tenderly as he whispered his love for her.
Eventually, he felt her tears subside. He lifted her chin from from his chest.
"What do you think happened here tonight?"
She closed her eyes, knowing that it was the only way that she would be able to think straight.
"It isn't important."
"It's important to me. At the risk of sounding like an idiot, what is a revenge fuck?"
"Did you try to sleep with me, just so that you could rub it in Edison's face?"
"Open your eyes," he commanded.
She opened her eyes, to find him looking down with her with concern.
"Is that really what you think?"
"I don't know what to think, " she said before she closed her eyes again. He couldn't understand how she could even suspect that he was revenge fucking her.
"I'm not answering you unless I'm looking into your beautiful brown eyes when I do. Open your eyes."
She opened her eyes again, anxiously waiting for his answer.
"I. Love. You"
She inhaled sharply. He hadn't answered her question, and the self doubt was invading her body again.
"Everything that happened tonight happened because I am in love with you. Everything that may happen between us, will happen because I love you. And whatever happens- is ours- only ours."
"I'm married," she flatly stated the obvious.
"You're married," he replied in the same tone.
"I won't push you. Whatever will or won't happen is up to you. If this is as far as we go, I respect that. But nothing we will do or have done, would ever, or could ever make you a whore."
She didn't look at him, instead she buried her face into his chest. He felt hot tears spilling on his chest, each one breaking his heart as it fell.
"There are no word to describe how big a of a tool your husband is. A man should not say that to any woman, let alone the woman that he loves."
"It's fine. I'm fine," she said looking up at him with the most unconvincing smile he had ever seen.
"Christ Liv, you are not fine. You deserve better. I'm saying that as a friend; as someone who is on your side."
"He was drunk and pissed that you were in my hotel room. That's all."
"Then he is going to love the fact that I'm staying the night."
Her eyes darted to his. "You are not staying the night."
"Oh, yes I am Livvie," he said with a gleam in his eye.
"No Fitzgerald, you are not. If Edison ever finds out he will kill you, and then use your dead body to asphyxiate me."
"First of all, I am staying. Second of all, he is in Washington. Unless you tell him, he won't find out."
"He will show up here. I'm telling you, he is going to show up here, or one of his boys is going to show up here. You can't be here." She was talking fast; so fast, that she couldn't hide the fear from her voice.
He tried pulling her back into him, but her body was rigid. "I have security down stairs and at the door. I promise you Livvie, no one is coming in this room unless you give them the OK."
He continued, trying to soothe her. "When Edison said he couldn't be here, I made arrangements to stay. I upgraded to the suite because there is a couch in the bedroom with you. I'm going to sleep there. That way, if you need anything during the night I will be nearby."
"I sleep naked," she blurted out before she could stop herself. "Why the hell did I just say that?" she thought mentally kicking herself.
"No complaints here," he said grinning at her. She wasn't amused.
"You don't have clothes here, and I ruined your shirt," she said, blurting out every reason that she could think of for him not to stay.
"I had everything I would need delivered. I also had some items delivered for you. Unfortunately, I think that Kate ordered sleepwear for you."
"You ordered me pajamas? Why?"
"I was concerned that whatever you slept in would lay on your bruise. I wanted to make sure that you had something that you could be comfortable in." She was blown away at how thoughtful he was. That might have been the sweetest, most thoughtful thing that anyone had ever done for her.
"Everything is taken care of Livvie. I'm staying here, and I'm taking care of you."
She thought for a moment. She liked spending time with him, and if she was being honest with herself, she really didn't want him to leave. Besides, if Edison did show up, she wasn't so sure she would want to be alone with him; not that Fitz being here would improve her marriage.
"OK." she said, lifting herself up to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you. I mean it Fitz, thank you for everything."
"You don't need to thank me Liv. Believe me, with the exception of 20 minutes when I thought you were going to castrate me, it's been my pleasure."
She laughed. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that."
"I'm going to consider it a lesson on the perils of upsetting Olivia Pope."
Yawn
"Come on Liv. Let me take you to bed."
"Mr. Grant, you are very forward," she said widening her eyes in mock shock.
"I'm so sorry if I offended you Ms. Pope," he quipped. "Ready?"
"I'm going to grab a shower first, if you don't mind."
"No problem. I'm going to try to find your bra and sweater so that we don't have the pleasure of having to explain to Cyrus why your bra is hanging from a light"
She laughed. "Oh my God. I think I'd rather talk to my father about my sex life than have that conversation with Cyrus," she said as she walked out of the room.
He spotted the sweater in a corner, and grabbed her bra which was hanging precariously off the arm of one of the movie chairs in the back row. Her phone was sitting on the table near the couch, and he grabbed it deciding that she would probably want it next to her on the nightstand. He hit the button, and the display showed countless missed calls and text messages. Obviously, Edison had gotten the memo that she had frozen his credit cards. He laughed to himself, wondering if his date had witnessed the denial. He knew that looking at a woman's phone was the equivalent of going through her purse uninvited and decided to shut it down. Another text arrived before he was able to put it back into sleep mode, the message "Edison: You stupid cunt, answer your fucking phone" flashing across the screen before disappearing into her messages.
Rage coursed through his veins, wanting to hit something or more specifically someone. An incoming call from the bastard himself was flashing on the display. Fitz didn't even think about it before hitting "Accept."
"You want someone to answer her fucking phone, I'm answering the fucking phone you chicken shit motherfucker" Fitz used instead of a formal greeting when Edison picked up.
"Where the fuck is my wife?" Edison seethed.
"She's in the shower."
Fitz had to hold the phone from his ear, as Edison screamed strings of expletives into the phone.
"I'm going to tell you how this is going to work," Fitz began.
Edison roared, "If you touched my wife, I am going to kill you. It is going to be painful, and bloody and I will enjoy every minute of it."
Fitz continued , his voice even. "You are going to tell your wife that you are a lying cheating son of a bitch and then you are going to assure here that it is not her fault that you can't keep it in your pants.
"If she doesn't throw your pathetic ass out, you will apologize to her for every single thing that you have ever said or done to hurt her."
"Leave her alone tonight Davis. She can't take anymore. Stop fucking texting her, stop fucking calling her. "
"Fuck off Grant. Shouldn't you be cramming your dick into some coked up whore right now instead of getting involved in my marriage?"
"Shouldn't you be worried about your marriage instead of sticking your dick into some cocked up whore?" Fitz countered. "It's your choice. You tell her, or I'll ruin you. All of your text message are saved to my phone. It's all too easy to forward them to the Washington Post."
"Go ahead. I'll take you both down with me you smug son of a bitch. Olivia knows I could ruin her," he said a little bit too smugly. Before he began ranting some more. Fitz only heard the tail end of his rant:
"Leave. My. Wife. Alone."
"I'd be glad to. She fucked up my entire night. I had plans tonight that I had to cancel to take care of your hysterical wife because of whatever the fuck you said to her," he lied, hoping not to cause anymore trouble for Liv. She isn't my type Davis, unless you think she has something I'd like. Maybe I should take a second look...," Fitz added to piss him off just a little bit more before he hung up.
Fitz forwarded all of Edison's messages to his personal email before deleting them from Liv's phone. He never wanted Liv to see them, knowing how hurt she would have been if she had. His heart broke thinking of what would have happened if she did see all the messages.
Fitz walked to the door of the suite, and explained to Tom he wanted extra security in the hotel and that Tom would have the honor of personally protecting Olivia for as long as she was in New York.
He made his way into the bedroom before Liv was done in the shower. He placed her phone, a bottle of water and her pain pills onto the nightstand. The couch in the room was already set up with sheets, a pillow and a comforter. He made his way to the dresser, rummaging through the drawers trying to find the pajama pants that Kate had delivered.
He had just finished changing when he heard the sound of the bathroom door opening.
She stepped out and took his breath away. She was dressed in an off white silk chemise that fell high on her thigh. His eyes were glued to her nipples that were poking through from beneath the fabric. He clenched his fists to keep from walking over and tearing the fabric off of her.
"Are you trying to kill me Livvie?"
She smiled at him shyly, walking toward the bed."You bought it for me, Mr. Grant. I thought that you would approve."
"Oh Ms. Pope. I approve very much, "he said walking behind her and placing her hand onto his bulge.
He smiled as she stroked him through the fabric.
"Mmmm, I see that," she said before she removed her hand.
His arm snaked around her, resting his hand on the silky fabric covering her stomach. Lifting his other hand to her neck, he trailed his fingers along her collar bone before gently moving her hair out of the way. He gently kissed the nape of her neck, then trailed kisses up to her ear. She let out of a soft moan as he sucked her earlobe into his mouth.
"Good night Sweet Baby. I love you," he whispered into her head before he pulled away and into the bathroom.
He reentered the bedroom, watching as she opened the pain pills and popped two into her mouth as she unscrewed the water. She hadn't let on that she was in any pain. Knowing how much she hated pain pills, he realized how much pain she must be in. He felt terrible that he hadn't realized it earlier.
"Fitz, you can't sleep on the couch. You paid for the room, you should have the bed. I'll take the couch," she said, secretly hoping that he would suggest that they should just share the bed.
He made his way back to her, pulling back the sheets.
"Get into bed Livvie," he said in a commanding tone. She lowered herself onto the bed; Fitz pulling the covers over her before kissing her on the forehead.
"Go to sleep you beautiful, sexy girl. I love you," he said before crossing the room and settling onto the couch for the night.
"Good night Fitz," she replied. In her head, she added, "I love you too."