Interlude – Ostia

After driving of Narcian, we braced ourselves for further attacks. Strangely, though, all aggression seemed to cease. A tentative peace offer came from Etruria, but it was met with silence. Uncle Matthew got a report of horrible storms in Bern, so maybe that is why. Still, the sudden lack of activity was eerie.

In the wake of that silence, Lycia began rumbling over what to do. Uncle Hector was dead, and his only heir, Lilina, was still a minor, old enough to fight, but not old enough to rule apparently. But all thoughts of what would happen paused by a simple announcement.

"We are bringing him home."

"I don't have to give a speech, right?" Lilina asked. I was carefully brushing her hair, making sure it shone in the sunlight. It was a beautiful day outside, not a cloud in the sky. Father Sky was assuring us that the dead had reached Mother Earth's meadows peacefully. "I just have to…"

"No, Uncle Eliwood will give the eulogy," I answered. In Lycian tradition, she would be expected to give a speech, but in Sacaean tradition, such a thought was abhorrent. "You just have to be silent as you lay the flowers down." Lycian tradition was that the heir would lay three flowers down on the coffin before it was lowered into the ground. "Have you picked the flowers?"

"Yeah, I told Uncle Lucius this morning." He left this morning with Uncle Raven to ensure the wreath would be ready in time. "Gladioli, for strength of character, sincerity, and moral integrity. Pink roses, for love and appreciation. Scarlet poppy, for peace." How nice… The language of flowers was one of the few things I did like about Etruria's masks. "They say that there are a lot of scarlet poppies blooming in Araphan now. Do you think Mother Earth is saying that the dead are resting peacefully?"

"Yes, I think so." Done with the brushing, I set about braiding her hair, carefully threading beads into it. She wore a Lycian mourning dress of blacks and silvers, so I made sure the beads were red, because Sacaeans wore red as well as black at funerals. They were striking in her hair. "Do you want to go over again what will happen?"

"When the bell rings, we will meet the retrieval party at the gates of Ostia." Led by Wil, steward of Caelin. He had, apparently, spearheaded the retrievals. They had even managed to retrieve Oswin's body from where we had buried him. "It will just be Mom and me at first, but then you and Sue will fall in beside me. Aunt Florina will fall in beside her." Truthfully, Aunt Lyn should have two people as well, but everyone knew the missing spot was for Mom, and no one wanted to step into that empty space. It was like admitting she was dead, and she… wasn't. She wasn't. She was just captured. We'd save her as soon as we could. "And then… um…"

"Then we will walk forward, leading the funeral procession. At the town square, Roy and Uncle Eliwood will meet us, and fall in." I finished a braid and started another. I thought of Aunt Lyn, getting ready alone. Was she having trouble, putting in the braids? In Sacaean tradition, the widow would have no visitors as she prepared for the funeral. If Mom was here, I knew she would have been sitting outside the door, making her laugh. "When we reach the gates, we will go to the crypt, and the funeral for Uncle Hector will begin."

"Yes, and then the funerals for the others." Funerals like this were being held all over Lycia. Araphan's destruction had devastated the entire nation. "Oswin is after Father, I think. He is being buried with full honors." Yes, he was. There were many who scoffed, citing that he left Uncle Hector, but I- "Thank you for screaming at those lords."

"Of course I did." Oswin had only left at Uncle Hector's orders. He had left to give us warning, so that we did not go into that situation unprepared. I had no doubts that saved our lives, many times over. "I could see you and Aunt Lyn wanted to, but you're both so tired."

"I haven't been sleeping well." I knew that. She often crawled into bed with me, so that I could hug her as she shook and cried. Legance's betrayal hit her hard, and she had nightmares of what could have happened. She came to me because Aunt Lyn was still recovering. "Mother is still so tired from the poison." I worried if she would have enough strength to go through with this, but she wanted to try. Uncle Lucius and Aunt Serra would be on standby, just in case. "Irene?"

"Yes?"

"…Will you sing?" Her voice shook, and I spared a glance up from my work to look at her face in the mirror. We both looked... so tired and worn in that reflection. Sitting here at the her vanity, we both looked too old and too young for any of this. "For Father's funeral, will you sing?"

Sacaeans sung at funerals. It was a great honor to be asked. "Of course." Besides, I remember, at Aunt Ninian's funeral, Uncle Hector saying he much preferred Sacaean singing to Lycian speeches.

For him, I would sing my very best.

After the funeral, I lingered in the crypt, just… staring. I could only stare at the tombstone. It seemed so… bland. Uncle Hector had been larger than life itself, a boisterous and laughing man who always had a hug and a sympathetic ear. A wolf, just like Mom, just like Dad, who guarded his 'pack', his country, with everything he had. But his tombstone was just… it was just a grey stone in a sea of grey stones, hidden deep below the ground. It was so impersonal, even with the flowers resting against it, and I wondered if he could even find Mother Earth's meadows, lost in the dark. Maybe that was why Father Sky made certain to give such a beautiful day for his funeral. That was the only reassurance I had.

Carefully, I crouched by the tombstone, just to read the writing better. Carved meticulously into the stone was his name, his birth date, his death date, and the words 'Wolf General of Ostia, Loving Husband and Father, Beloved Ruler.' No one, reading this, would know that his favorite thing in the word to do was take naps beside Aunt Lyn, that his favorite place was wherever she was. No one, reading this, would know that he relentlessly teased Uncle Eliwood, even as they grew older and wiser, always making sure neither of them were taking themselves too seriously. No one, reading this, would know that he gleefully let himself be subjected to all manners of girlish play, including letting his fingernails be painted when Lilina was experimenting, laughing off anyone's odd looks. No one, reading this, would know that whenever I cried, no matter where I was in this too large castle, he would find me in an instance, and spin me around in circles until I was laughing too hard to cry. No one, reading this, would know that he defended Sue from some nobles who tried to make fun of her silence, carrying her about and telling her jokes until she smiled again. No one, reading this, would know that he cheered the loudest the day Roy landed his first good hit during a practice bout, beaming with pride and shouting tips for how he could get the next one. No one, reading this, would know how he laughed with Mom over something called a 'sigh tally', the two bantering as easily as blood siblings. No one, reading this, would know how he made a point of sharing drinks with Dad at every visit, and how their talks ranged from serious advice to quiet teasing.

No, they wouldn't know any of that. All they would know is his name. They would know his name, know that he was a 'general', know that he might have had an association with a horse, know that he was loved, and they would know he died at only thirty-seven years old.

The age made me pause, and I walked over to another tombstone in the crypt. I stopped briefly at Lord Orun's and whispered a prayer for him, before I stopped at the one nearby. The words there still gleamed, despite being over twenty years old. Uther of Ostia. Yes, that was why the age stood out to me. Uther had been only thirty-six when he died. Elbert, Uncle Eliwood's father, had been thirty-five, if I recalled that grave correctly. I had lingered in the Pheraean crypt too, after Aunt Ninian's funeral. Her gravestone was just as bland and impersonal as Uncle Hector's.

"I wonder what you would think about all of this," I whispered to the stone. I had never met him. He died before I was born. But I heard stories. Uncle Hector talked about him often, as did Uncle Eliwood. I heard about him most from Great-Aunt Amanda, though. I glanced over at her grave, placed next to his, as if she were his wife. But from what I understood, no one ever seemed to know if they were even lovers or not. Uncle Matthew had even mentioned, at her funeral ten years ago, that there was still a betting pool over it, and I did not think anyone had won it yet. The answer was likely in her personal items, but Uncle Matthew admitted that it was still hard to go through them. Maybe he would now, just to see if an answer to our problems was somehow in there.

With a sigh, I stretched, looking over all the dead. I thought about singing again, but my throat closed up. No, I had sung for the funeral, and now, my mind and heart were too sad. I would sing again when I was a little calmer, a little happier. For now, I should just let the first song echo, and let the dead rest.

So, I left the crypt, making my slow way back into Ostia castle. I took one of the side entrances in, wanting to be alone in my thoughts. But while I was strangely cold and calm, that did not mean the rest of the world was. I realized that as soon as I made it inside, and shut the door behind me.

"Why does everyone say that?!" I stopped short at the screech. It was hoarse, raw with pain, and it took me a second to realize it was Lilina's voice. What had her shouting? What was going on? "Why does everyone say that I'll be a good ruler!?" …I think one too many well-wishers made her crack.

"Because they believe you will be." That… that was Aunt Lyn. I walked down the hall and rounded the corner just to confirm it, but it was. She and Lilina were having an argument, it looked like. That… was such an odd thing to watch. While all three did have tempers, the family had always been careful about yelling at each other. "I believe in you," she replied, voice even. It was easy to see she was not really calm, though, just thoroughly exhausted. "Why is that not enough, Lilina?"

"We believed in Father, and look where that got him!" …Okay, ow. That hurt me. "We believed in Legance, and look where that got you!" Lilina… "Belief doesn't mean anything during a war, does it?!" I needed to intervene. Now. "So why does it mean anything when it comes to me!?" Now!

"Hey, easy!" I called, stepping in between the two. Aunt Lyn looked ready to cry; Lilina already was. "Let's just…" Oh, how I wished Mom or Dad were here. They could solve this more easily. "Let's just shelve this talk for another time, when you're less exhausted." I couldn't tell them to calm down. That was too much, clearly. But I couldn't tell them to ignore it either. "Okay? There is no way you two are well enough for this kind of talk."

"Quite right." I nearly breathed a sigh of relief as Uncle Eliwood walked up, Aunt Serra and Sue behind him. "Lyn, you were supposed to get a check up," he chided gently. Aunt Lyn didn't even reply, just ducked her head and nodded. Lilina's face crumpled further, and I knew that guilt had been added to her pain. "Go on." He nudged her off with Aunt Serra, and Sue took charge of Lilina easily, making sure to take her the opposite direction. "I had a feeling something like this might happen…"

"Is that so?" I stepped to his side, peering at his face. He looked… well, he looked healthier, but drawn and drained. "Are you tired from just the funeral?"

"No, I… actually just got out of a similar thing with Roy." Was that so? "Not nearly as much yelling, of course, but he got word that the remaining Lycian lords were wanting to keep him as the head of the Lycian Army, in accordance to Hector's dying wishes." …Roy was too young. I would maintain that for the rest of my life. "I tried to reassure him, but the smile he gave me reminded me of my own smile when I don't believe the person who is talking. I worried for Lyn and Lilina then, as I knew the same sort of talk was going to come up with them too."

"…I think after all of this, I do finally get why you all believe in us. Maybe." I sighed. "But it's so hard to feel as if we're measuring up."

"Clearly, this is something we all should have had talks about earlier, but I thought…" He shook his head. "Well, no matter. If you are not too tired, then why don't we have a talk in the study here."

"Are you too tired?"

"I am wide awake after all of that, and I fear sleeping for now." He nudged my shoulder, steering me to a room. "Besides, with luck, this can help be gather my thoughts."

"Well, if you're certain." I skipped over the first study he tried to steer me into. There was only one chair there, and I didn't feel like having an argument over who got to sit. Instead, we went to a different one, with two chairs, and I plopped down with a sigh, tilting my head back to just… relax.

Eliwood sat down slowly, with a grimace. "Formal clothes are always too stiff," he murmured. I just shrugged awkwardly in reply. Formal Sacaean clothes were always comfy. "So, where do I even begin? I can tell you time and time again that I believe in you, and that greatness is made, not born, but based on Roy and Lilina, it's clear that such reassurances became meaningless a long time ago."

"Well, I do like hearing it," I answered slowly. I straightened in my seat to look at him. "But I guess… why do you all believe in us so much?" There. That was it. They had so much belief, but I couldn't see why. The reason I thought I might, might, understand now is simply because… because I thought I had a 'why' now. "I know we pulled off this whole mess in Ostia, somehow, and it's… not something you all did alone." I paused. "I'm sure you could have, of course."

"But it might have taken longer, and it might not have been so decisive. And, even if we did, we would not have been able to deal with Bern so quickly." His eyes fell to my arm, to the scar. "How are your injuries?" His eyes flicked up briefly to the scar on my face as well. He had been near tears when I told him about 'fighting' Zephiel. "Are you in pain?"

"No, I'm perfectly fine, and my ears stopped ringing after Uncle Lucius and Uncle Raven's lectures." They had really lain into me, though Uncle Raven did stop when I gave my reasons. Uncle Lucius got madder at them, though, so it all balanced out. "I can resume my full practice routine… well, I probably could today, but I don't feel like it."

"No, I imagine not." Uncle Eliwood sighed, closing his eyes to think. "Now, how to explain…" I bit my lip as I waited for an answer. I hoped it was something concrete, not… "I suppose, among other things, it's because I feel like you all have already surpassed us." ….WHAT?!

"B-but we haven't done anything!" This was…! "We couldn't save anyone at Araphan, we couldn't save Thria, we only barely saved Ostia, and we've just been so helpless-!"

"Exactly as we were during the Campaign of Fire." …Well, that shut me up. His smile was gentle, but there was an old pain in it. "I remember when my father died. It haunts my nightmares even now. I remember how, even at death's door, he still had to be the one to save me, to save my friends. I remember holding him in my arms as he gasped out his last breaths, giving me apologies and telling me he was proud." Uncle Eliwood brought up his hands, and I wonder what he saw when he looked at them. "I remember wondering how could he be so proud of me? I was weak, horribly reliant on others. I had a talent for fighting, but it was one I hated to cultivate, because I always saw the blood. I did not have Hector's reckless abandon that carved new paths. I did not have Lyn's serene steps as she danced across the battles. It was so easy to see them as strong, and constantly I wondered if I held them back, if I held the others back."

"…Do you mind… telling me more?" The Campaign was a guarded secret. I only really knew that it was how so many of them met. "What made you think…?"

"I didn't. Not consciously. It just occurred to me, later, that moving forward despite those feelings might be just why he was proud of me." I see… "But I still remember that feeling. There was only one other time I felt so helpless."

"What time was that?"

"It was…" He hesitated before sighing. "Forgive me, Irene. It remains one of my worst memories, and the story behind it is long and emotionally taxing." This was not a day for such a story. "But it involved Ninian. It involved a time where I heard her greatly, on accident, and to this day, I do not know why she forgave me." …What did he do? Accidentally slash her while trying to slash an enemy?

"Then something else." Something like… um… "Please, just…" I wanted… I wanted to hear this. Perhaps it was mean, but hearing that once Uncle Eliwood, one of my role models, had felt just as helpless was… it reminded me of Oswin's words. He told me to compare myself to them when they were my age, and that's... what this was. So, I just... wanted to hear more.

"Well, I can talk a little about Katri." Mom? "I remember when we found Leila's corpse." Leila… I knew the name. She had been a skilled spy of Ostia, and Uncle Matthew's lover, but she died on a mission. It took Uncle Matthew years to recover enough to be in a healthy relationship with Aunt Serra. "I remember Katri took that death on herself. It was her fault. She had been too slow, too cautious, too… whatever. It was her fault we had not made it in time." I stilled at the words. I knew those thoughts. I had them at Araphan. "She never said it, but I knew she felt the same over my father's death. Any time anything went wrong, she blamed herself, and worked tirelessly to try and keep another thing from going wrong." Mom… "During… that incident I can't talk about… she felt helpless then too. I am certain there are others."

"…Do you have one about Dad?" I could not imagine him being helpless. It just… he was the best hunter, and…

"Well, he had to watch Katri slowly deteriorate from the consumption." That startled me. I knew she had once had it, of course. It was impossible to not know. But I had always thought… I knew it had happened during the Campaign, but I had always thought it was rather… quick? Severe but quick, nothing slow about it. "I remember fretting, and that was without knowing she had anything worse than a cold. She kept it quiet. Rath, Serra, Lucius, and later Matthew… they were the ones who knew for longer than a day ahead of us."

"Why didn't she just get healed?"

"We weren't in a safe place to do so." Where had they been? "And so, she was faced with a choice. Leave the army to save herself and possibly doom us to deaths, or stay to save the army and possibly doom herself." …Mom picked the latter. There was no way she wouldn't have. "She made sure Hector, Lyn, and I didn't know, specifically because of that choice. But it does not change the fact that she was dying, and it does not change the fact that Rath had to watch the person he loved above all else fall apart, cough by cough." Dad… "He had to watch as she hacked up blood, as she became too tired to even stand for more than a few hours, as she lost weight and became as thin as a skeleton." The consumption was a horrifying disease. That's why I always had to be careful if I started coughing. "He could do nothing to stop it. Only give her medicines in the hope that it would buy her enough time. And it did, but only because of a skilled healer, and a powerful magic user who quietly helped." …It was very sobering to hear how close I had been to not being born at all.

"That… had to be hard…" A thought occurred to me, a little mystery I had always shrugged off, in the past. "Is that why, when Aunt Ninian was dying, Dad rushed us here?"

"Yes." Uncle Eliwood's smile was sadly nostalgic. "I sent word that she was dying, deteriorating, and the next thing I know, there's a note from Rath returning with the words 'we will be there soon'. It remains the only time he replied instead of Katri." There had been nothing we could do for Aunt Ninian too. We could only watch. Dad knew that feeling better than anyone. "It helped. A lot. I will forever be grateful that he was here." Uncle Eliwood laughed. "And it did Ninian good too, to look out the window and see you all playing. I think she actually hung on a few extra days, just so she could see you all smiling one more time." Aunt Ninian… I missed her. "But yes, Rath knew helplessness too."

"…I still don't see how you think I am already 'better' than them." The sentence just felt weird in my mouth.

"Ah, yes, we did get on a tangent." Uncle Eliwood hummed a little in thought. "Katri could only ever protect people with her tactics." W-well, yes, I suppose that was true. She knew a little of self-defense, knife work, and archery, but generally only enough to keep herself safe. "If there was ever a threat to one of us, the best she could do was shout. Shout orders, just shout in general so someone knew what was going on. She was reliant on others to keep her people safe." Yes, that made sense. "But you can protect people yourself. In fact, you have. You shot the arrow into Legance that freed Lilina, yes?"

"Well, yes, but…"

"And if you are in danger, you can get yourself out of it. As you have. Repeatedly." He smiled warmly. "You can use more than tactics to defend people. So, by my eyes, you have surpassed Katri because you have more than one way to protect the people in your care."

"…And Dad?"

"Rath is the exact opposite of Katri. He could protect others, and himself, with his arrows. If he was in trouble, he was not reliant on others to stay alive. But he could never come up with such large tactics, like Katri can. Like you can. He could be one piece in the plan easily, but he would have never been able to coordinate so many people to a single goal."

"…What you're saying… is that I have surpassed them… because I have both their strengths."

"Exactly." He laughed a little. "You also benefit from such an interesting childhood. You're used to balancing many different beliefs." That was true, I suppose. "That makes you much better suited to working with such a diverse group. It's that same reason that I think Roy will make a great leader of the armies, and why I, and Lyn, think Lilina will be able to rule well." …That... that did actually make sense. "That is why I believe in you all. I see what you have already done, and think, 'I never would have been able to do that at their age. I know they will be fine.'"

…It was really difficult to wrap my head around all of this. But… well, I knew at some point, I would be able to think more on it. Of course, I would probably find the holes in the logic then, but… but I could have another talk then, maybe with someone else, to help me with it.

So, instead… "Thanks, Uncle Eliwood," I murmured. I made sure to smile. "I appreciate it."

"I hope you will be able to follow my logic one day," he replied. I should have known he would see how I was having trouble. "And thank you. As I hoped, it did help me settle my thoughts." He sighed. "Though, now is certainly not the time for such talks with Roy." No, it wasn't.

But, I did get an idea. "Uncle Eliwood, there's going to be some big council or something right? To talk about what's going to happen with Lycia?"

"Yes." Uncle Eliwood closed his eyes, clearly in thought. "Many provinces lost their ruling lords. Some, like Laus and Thria, have no heirs to take over. Lilina is a minor, and with so much else going on, I would not want her to take up ruling just yet. She is so shaken by Legance; she needs to find her grounding again." Yes… "So, we must hold a council, though I imagine Lyn and I will co-rule Lycia until she comes of age." He opened his eyes again. "Why do you ask?"

"Do we have to be there for all of that?" I waited for an answer, but got only a blank look in reply. "I was thinking… none of us have really had a break since all of this mess started. I doubt that's helping with anything anyway, and it's not like we'll be allowed to contribute anything to the political discussions. So, what if our group, the group that went to Araphan, and went through all this, go on a vacation?"

"That… is certainly a thought." Uncle Eliwood slowly relaxed, smiling slightly. "But where would you go?"

"Hanover is just over the mountains. I know Uncle Mark will let us all stay there. It might not be staffed, but none of us will care." Actually, I think many of us would prefer that. …In fact, I think Clarine is the only one who would complain. "We would be close by in case of an emergency, but it's still far enough away that we can relax."

"Thus let you all have a bit of fun, actual fun." His smile warmed. "Yes, that sounds like a wonderful idea. It will also buy time for Lyn and I to come up with better ways to talk about this with Lilina and Roy." Yes, exactly. "I'll make sure it gets through. You just write your uncle."

"I will." I leapt to my feet, full of purpose now. I had a goal and I would see it through! "I'll go do that now, actually."

"Yes, go ahead." He was laughing now, and I was glad to hear it. "Ah, but I almost forgot."

"Hmm?"

"Your song was very beautiful, Irene. You truly are a gifted singer."

"Thank you." I smiled back at him. "Mom says I got it from Dad. Something about how she can't hold a tune to save her life."

"Yet more evidence to my point." Mmm… "Think on it later, Irene. After your vacation. Just focus on having fun there."

"I will." I think we all would need it. "Talk to you later, Uncle Eliwood!

Author's Notes: Lyn mentions, in Tactician's Testimony (I think the interlude after Dragon's Gate), that Sacaeans sing at funerals. In that same chapter, Hector replies that he likes it better than the speeches. So, of course I have Irene sing for his. Uther and Elbert's ages at their deaths are based off their ages in Thief's Testimony, meaning there is no canon basis for it. The second event Eliwood mentions in his talk with Irene references Ninian's death in FE7.

Also, much needed arguments and talks shown, or so I think. Yay for references to FE7. And, seriously, long overdue talk.

Next Chapter – Interlude, Hanover