Chapter 13

A/N: All credit for this chapter goes to BBC and my brilliant beta, AudreytheAwkward, for helping me so much with this one

"Martha Jones!" the Doctor propelled his locker door shut and took off towards the library. Martha leapt into motion behind him, doubling her strides to match his long ones.

"How can I help you?" he asked, not slowing down.

"Oh, well, I-I was wondering if I could do anything for you." Martha stuttered, trying her best to keep up. "Anything you need? You know, I could keep you company if you'd like. I could-"

"That's alright. I'm going to meet Rose right now," The Doctor waved over his shoulder as he opened the door. "Thanks anyways."

She paused for a moment, frozen in indecision. The sound of the door squealing closed behind him jolted her back into action. "No, wait!" She demanded, reaching out and grabbing the library door, stopping both it and the Doctor in their tracks.

She panted for a moment, out of breath, and he turned his back, walking into the library. Flustered, she followed him in and stepped in front of him, grateful that he had slowed down. "Look, I've got to know," she said, lowering her voice slightly. "Just a couple weeks ago, you were talking to me like…like, I don't know," she tugged at the sleeve of her sweater in agitation. "I thought you might really care about me in some way...more than a friend, I guess." The Doctor opened his mouth to speak, but she flew on, afraid of losing her momentum. "And since then, I've been running after you, trying to get your attention, and you don't even give me a second glance. What is it? What is this?"

The librarian raised her bent head, eyes seemingly still lost in another world underneath her silver halo of hair. "Shhh," she scolded.

"I'm finished," Martha retorted.

The Doctor closed his mouth, then opened it, then closed it again. "Martha, I'm sorry you got that impression. I really am," he ran a hand through his hair and looked over her head blankly, lost in his own thoughts. Her heart sank, but she fought to keep her face blank, void of her feelings.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I don't like you like that. You're my friend, yes, but we're nothing more."

"Why Rose?" Martha blurted. Hot tears threatened to overflow in her eyes, but she fought them back and tried to keep her voice level. "Why her? You do everything she asks, and you'd do anything she wants...be anything she wants. And she hated you! She did! From the beginning, she hated you."

The librarian half rose from her seat. "Hush!" she whispered harshly.

Martha's shoulders slumped, and she lowered her voice. It sounded more pathetic, now that she wasn't yelling.

"I've loved you the whole time," she paused and wiped her eyes with her sleeve, looking away. The Doctor finally looked back at her, eyes full of some emotion she couldn't quite place.

"Please. Just look at me and give me a fraction of the attention you give her, and I'll be happy."

He was silent for a moment, his brown eyes taking in her defeat and shame.

She couldn't meet his gaze, couldn't let him see the damage he was causing her. Her eyes couldn't seem to tear themselves away from his, though, and Martha couldn't help but hold her breath at the suspense. She had to wait for his words to convey his emotion, seeing as how guarded his expression had become. She had to know what he was thinking.

For just a moment, something flashed in his eyes, the same emotion as before. It was hidden by layers upon layers of shields, but Martha had placed it immediately. He pitied her. The Doctor, the boy she had pined after for so long, pitied her.

He placed his hands gently on her shoulders, and leaned down a bit so that she could almost feel his warm breath tickling her face. Maybe he would kiss her.

Finally ,he whispered softly, breaking the spell. "Martha, you are good. You're good and you deserve someone who's going to show you how amazing you are. I'm not that person, but one day, you're going to find him. You got it? Remember that, you are good. You aren't second best; you're Martha Jones and you're brilliant."

He pulled her in, and she took a deep breath, trying to memorize the feel of his body against hers.

As soon as it began, it was over. The Doctor broke away, and by the time she'd been able to process everything, he was already almost to Rose's table. No hesitation, no turning back to her. Martha sighed, turning around towards the library doors.

He had someone to meet.

He was late for the thousandth time. It was a little bit ironic, considering he had that posh watch that counted time down to the millisecond, but it was in character. At least he always showed up.

"Rose!" The Doctor called breathlessly, as he sat himself down across from her. "Sorry about that. Me and Martha were having a little chat."

"'S alright. I know it's not like you to ever be late…" she smirked, nudging his shoulder playfully.

"Oi! I'll have you know I ran all the way here. If you're not going to be grateful, then I guess I'll just-" he stood up, like he was going to walk out.

"Shut up."

He leaned in, his eyebrows raised. "Make me," He breathed.

She rolled her eyes. "Sit down."

He did.

"I've got something to tell you, anyways. You'll never guess." she sing-songed, grinning cheekily.

"Tell me," he smiled encouragingly.

"I got in." she paused for dramatic effect. "It's Julliard. You know, the school in America? It's, like, the best music school in the world. I sent them an audition tape, and they invited me to come! I'm going to New York!" she squealed.

He spread his arms wide, she dove out of her seat and into his embrace.

"New York!" he cried.

"New York," Rose repeated, letting him spin her around.

He pulled away slightly and met her gaze, confusion clouding his eyes.

It was sinking in. Rose let her smile droop a little.

"New York." he repeated, almost venomously. He squeezed her hand tightly.

"New York?" she patted the hand. "And you're not angry?"

"I'm not angry." he repeated robotically.

"Yeah you are. You get this look in your eyes," she said, chewing on her lip as she peered at his face. "It's like, there's this storm inside. Right now, it's not going yet, it's just sort of…brewing. The Oncoming Storm."

She chuckled lightly, delighted with the new nickname.

He didn't react. He would calm down. He usually did. Usually.

"It's just, you're all the sudden going off to New York and you didn't even mention to me that you had applied." he said quietly.

She sat back down in her own chair and leaned forward against the table. "Why does it matter? I was always going to go off to college somewhere. I'm not staying here for the rest of my life. You knew that, right?"

He didn't reply, and she groaned.

"You could have at least warned me."

"Oh, so now I've got to run all my decisions past you?" she cried.

He looked at her. "You are my girlfriend," he bit out. "I do have a right to know if you're going to move to a different country!"

Rose scoffed angrily. "I thought you'd just assume I was going somewhere. You are! No way you're planning on staying in this muck hole forever. You're gonna go on your tours to different cities all over the world."

"What about when I come back to London, then? Where will you be?"

She stood up. "You're so selfish! I can't just wait here for you my entire life. Can you imagine me having to see you on the telly, giving up my career just to see you for maybe a couple of weeks out of the year?"

He took her hand, trying to pull her back into the chair. "You could come with me, though! Would that be so bad? Staying with me for that long?" he asked tenderly.

There was silence for a moment.

"That hurts. Not fair." Rose said softly, sinking back down.

The silence between them for that moment was louder than any scream either of them could have uttered.

"That hurts that you think I'm so useless that I'd need you to take care of me," Refusing to meet his gaze, she stared carefully down at her feet. "You don't think I'm good enough to make it by myself."

Her voice wobbled, and she cleared her throat quickly. She needed to leave. Now. Grabbing her bag, she stood up and walked away from him.

"Rose, wait!" John shouted after her. He'd caught up to her in a moment.

"Rose, Rose, I didn't mean it like that. You have to know that. I didn't mean it like that." He said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It's not like-"

She didn't hear the rest. She'd already gotten out onto the street, slamming the library door in his face.

She wrapped her arms around herself, fighting the opposing foot traffic that battered against her.

There was a convenience shop across from the library, and she ducked into it, shutting the world out.

She felt like someone was sitting on her chest. Pulling her phone out, she dialed Donna's number.

"Hello? Rose?"

"Yeah, Donna, 's me." She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "Can you-can you come pick me up? I'm at Hendriks."

"Of course. I'll be right there. What happened?"

Rose held back all the words that wanted to come out, and instead tried to make the situation simple. it wasn't.

"It was just a little fight."

Donna sighed loudly on the other end. "Was it the Doctor? I swear, I'm going to kill that boy. Don't you worry, sweetheart, I'll get Jack to smack him and it'll all be fine."

"I'm alright. I just sort of stormed out on him, but I'm good."

"Whatever you say. I'll be there in one mo."

Rose exhaled shakily. "See ya then."