THE NAKED TRUTH ABOUT GUNDAM SEED/DESTINY

Opss, Wrong Gender

Based On: Rey Za Burrel

Disclaimer: Gundam Seed/Destiny belonged to Bandai, Sunrise and anyone who have the rights to them.

The weekend is here again, and the gang wants to have a little time off form the academy. Lunamaria Hawke and her sister Meyrin decided to take a walk around October 4. But not before asking Shinn, Youlant, Vino and surprisingly, Rey.

The three men froze in shock over Luna's invitation to Rey. Rey Za Burrel, the young pilot of Blaze Zaku Phantom, a red coat and who rumour says the Chairman's son (more like his 'ahem, ahem') display his usual face – nothing.

"So Rey, what do you say?" Asked Luna again. Shinn, Youlant and Vino is now biting their own lips from stopping Luna, while Meyrin had her own cute version of puppy look. Rey's face is still unreadable.

Luna, stop asking him; Shinn thought.

Doesn't she knew what'll happen if he out in the open; Vino thought.

OH MY GOD!! LUNA IS ASKING REY OUT. CALL THE COPS! This is from Youlant's mind.

"Well Rey?"

For a good 5 minutes, Rey Za Burrel said nothing, and his face doesn't seem to have any of its muscles move. Giving up, Luna turns her back, followed by sighs from Shinn, Vino and Youlant, when Rey spoke for the first time.

"I'll go"

Horror could be seen on the three cadets of ZAFT's academy.

October 4 is like any other PLANT – lots of people, and lots of buildings. The gang decided to go for lunch before going to other places. A cheery Luna and a happy Meyrin leads the group, followed by Shinn, Vino and Youlant. Rey, on the other hand, is the last in the group, and he is almost breaking apart from them. When Shinn discovers this, the thing that he is truly afraid of when Rey is out happens.

A make up salesgirl is approaching Rey.

Running as fast as he can to save his friend (and his dignity), Shinn manages to capture a puzzled Rey who seems to be daydreaming while walking. Pulling him, he thought he escapes the 'enemy' when another salesgirl approaches them. This time, there is no escape route.

"Hello, would you like to try this lipstick, Miss?" the salesgirl asked Rey.

"Oh, I….I'm…." Rey tries to answer, but Shinn's embarrassment is overflowing.

The other salesgirl whom they were trying to escape first is now approaching them.

"Good afternoon. Would you like to have a little make over session, miss?" She asked Rey.

"Look, missy. My friend here is not a girl, okay? So beat it off" Shinn tries to control his tone, but his face is getter redder by every minute.

"Oh, I'm sorry sir. But she…he…he looks so feminine!" The salesgirls said.

The red-faced Shinn then pulled away the still puzzled Rey.

"Where did you go just?" Luna asked Shinn and Rey. Vino and Youlant, who seems to know what's just happened tries to hide their laughter.

"Oh, Rey saw this beautiful…vase made out of…of…matchsticks! That's it, matchsticks! Haha!" Oh my god! What am I talking shit about?

"REALLY! Let's see it later, onee-chan!" Meyrin said with happiness in her tones.

"Oh, what's so great about matchstick vase. Let's see it other time Meyrin" Luna said, while eating her spaghetti. Neither girls saw how relieved Shinn was.

Rey, the man who is offered a lipstick sample (or two) is eating his pasta penne in quiet, oblivious to his surrounding.

Their next destination is the boutique. The girls wanted to pick up some new dress, and the boys had to be threatened to come together. As Luna and Meyrin changes clothing, Shinn, Youlant, Vino and Rey looks around the boutique, finding that neither thing sold in the boutique interests them. As Rey held an eggshell blue knee-length dress, the boutique assistant came.

"My, my. You have fine taste. Would you like to try it" The assistant asked Rey.

Shinn, Youlant and Vino glances towards Rey, only to found the woman talking to their poor friend. Again, horror came to their faces.

The three men run as fast as they can to Rey; dropping at least two mannequins, a row of clothes, and knocking several other customers. As they reach him in record breaking seconds, Shinn took the dress, while Youlant pulls a baffled Rey away. Vino turns back to apologize to the fallen customers, picks up the scattered clothes, and apologizing to the mannequins before he realizes that it was really a large doll and not a person.

"I'm sorry, miss. But my friend is having some…headache today. You see, my friend is a… a…I'm sorry" Shinn then fled the scene. Vino soon follows him outside the boutique.

"What just happened?" Rey asked the three men that he thought was embarrassing him just now.

"What…happened…Must you…go and…pick up everything girly?" Vino asked between pants. They are now at an escalator not far from the boutique and all of them seemed tired. Except for Rey, that is.

"Wha…? I just pick the dress up. Is it a crime now?"

"Well…It's a dress" Youlant answered.

"And must you…talk to everyone? The salesgirls…early…this afternoon. You could've ignored her" Shinn said.

"Well, they seemed nice. And they were offering me something. It's not wrong being polite sometimes, Shinn"

"Do you realize what is going on, Rey?" Youlant asked.

"Yeah. Everybody is nice to me. I mean, they are really, really nice. The salesgirls in particular" Rey answered with confidence.

The panting teens freeze. It seems to them that all this time, Rey did not notice one thing.

Everyone thought he is a girl.

"Everyone, why did you leave us in the shop?" Luna and Meyrin came out from the boutique, holding several bags of clothes.

"Everyone, I'm sorry, but we really need to go to the pharmacy. My facial foam is dangerously finished" Meyrin said, followed by the objected three men. After all that has happened, all they wanted to do is go back.

The early incident following Rey's mistaken gender is like a curse following them everywhere. First, it was the lipstick, then the dress, followed by the free hair makeover for females and the worst, free spa treatment including breast massage. In all cases, Rey seems oblivious that the people approaching him mistaken him for a female. And in all cases, the three men would have to save him.

This is why I hate taking Rey along; Shinn has thought every time he has to save Rey. In fact, this is what he, Vino and Youlant would have to do each time they are with Rey Za Burrel. Everyone who met him will first think of him as a female rather than male.

Why no one realizes Lunamaria and Meyrin? Are they transvestite? Shinn thought again.

As they reached the pharmacy, Meyrin and Luna went straight to the facial rack. Shinn, Youlant, Vino and Rey all decided to wait outside, not wanting anything that has to do with mistaken-gender-Rey happen again (although Rey did want to go inside, but he was stopped by Youlant and Vino). As they were sitting on a bench near the escalator, three unknown men came down the escalator. Shinn pay no attention to them, until…

"Hello there missy" One of the men started 'hitting' Rey.

Shit, not happening again…

"Hi there miss. I can see you are with your friends. Why don't you accompany us than them for an afternoon tea?" Rey kept himself expressionless, but his friends all had it for the day.

"Hey mister, get a life. Little 'missy' here is not a missy, but a mister. So back off" Shinn blurts it all out in anger, causing an audience.

"Yeah, get a life" Youlant retorts.

"Or else what?" The third member of the three men who tried to hit Rey said. Since neither one of them wore their ZAFT uniforms and all of them (stupidly) forgot their ZAFT academy's identification card, all they can do is talk loud, shows some soldier-like attitude and nothing more. The three men are all equally larger individually then the cadets and Shinn knew they had no chance of hitting them off. Even with martial arts, the three men would have easily defeated them.

"Haha, they are all trying to keep her from us. What a loser. Come to papa, little girl" The first men who spoke with them tries to pull Rey away, still thinking that Rey is a girl, but something unimaginable happens.

Rey just throw the man off.

It is then the start of a little street fight, where Rey single handed 'defeat' all the large three men that tries to 'hit' him. Shinn, Vino and Youlant could only watch as the audiences started cheering for him. As he finishes his move, the three men started running away from Rey.

"How in the hell did you do that?" Shinn asked.

"This is something I learned in the classes you decided to skip"

"Oh"

Rey's little 'demo' has caused him to be an instant celebrity. Everyone started cheering for him for defeating the three 'devils" Shinn, Vino and Youlant just smiles. They are all finally relieved and proud that for a moment, Rey actually shows his 'masculine' side. There will be no problem to take Rey out for a walk the next time. No more embarrassment of having a 'female' male friend. That is until…

"That's a good move, girl. You have finally showed some girl power there!"

"Yeah, this is what a us girl should do to men like them"

"You go girl!!"
Shinn, Youlant and Vino could gape at the situation.

Doesn't anyone realise. HE IS A MALE, NOT A FEMALE!!

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Luna and Meyrin asked as they approach the men in a circle of cheering females. Shinn, Vino and Youlant could only lower their heads, while Rey just kept quiet and finally pulls out his I-Pod earphones.

"I don't know what happened. But this guy just pulled me and I kick his ass" Rey answered with confidence.

All three ZAFT cadets fell anime style after seeing Rey pulled off his earphones.

Author's note – Lame ass story I suppose. Well, you think what happened next, okay? My brain is filled with all thing biology.