Kirk was in Relik's class listening to the other cadet's read their papers. All of the works were sanitized affairs, laced with speculation and inaccuracies. The justifications they made for Kodos were stupid at best and infuriatingly disrespectful and ignorant at worst. The summaries of why he was wrong barely scratched the surface of what had been wrong. The pages discussing Tarsus 9, all had some form of the words 'A survivor might have or a survivor would', it was all so detached and clinical, that Kirk longed to leap up and yell at them all. When McCoy read his attempt at the assignment Kirk felt like a knife had been stabbed through him as he heard the doctor listing what would have been sound almost logical arguments for Kodos' decision except there could never be sound logical arguments in favour of what had happened on Tarsus IV. Kirk was seething inside as each word was read.

He controlled himself. He waited until it was his turn to read. Wordlessly he passed the copy of his assignment to Relik. Relik raised an eyebrow as he saw the hardcopy.

Kirk didn't notice he was trying to compose himself so he could read. He was starting to regret writing the paper. He didn't want to read it aloud, last night in the stuporous haze of drunken he had been it had been easier to write. Now, after the effects of the liquor had faded, the sensations he felt whenever he thought about Tarsus were coming back full force. Kirk forced his breathing to slow, and picked up his notebook with sweaty palms. He stood up and hoped nobody noticed how he was trembling slightly. He saw several cadets staring at his pale face and knew that he wasn't being entirely successful acting like nothing was wrong.

Relik interrupted Kirk's attempt to regain control with "Mr. Kirk you actually decided to think this would be acceptable to turn in."

Kirk was slightly confused. Relik couldn't have read the paper yet, so what was he disapproving of? Kirk asked "What do you mean?"

"The writing is so terrible it's almost indecipherable, there's splotches all across the pages like somebody wasted something on it and it's written on a flimsy."

"Yes."

"The other assignments were all turned in digitally and were actually neat. Why did you write your paper like this?"

The response tumbled out; Kirk was starting to feel angry. He had spent hours writing something about something that he shouldn't have had to and now the man was complaining because the paper wasn't digital and it wasn't neat. He answered flippantly to irritate Relik. "Why doesn't my paper look like the rest of the class'? Maybe because I actually have a life and didn't feel like spending days writing this crap." Kirk shrugged "Maybe because I didn't have time to make a fancy digital copy. Maybe it looks like that... because I felt like it."

A row below him Kirk saw McCoy sigh and shake his head disapprovingly. He rounded on McCoy "Shut up, I don't need any of your disapproving looks you a—hole. I can't believe you even went along with this sh-. You're supposed to be a doctor for god sakes and you're coming up with justifications for murdering people?"

McCoy just stared at him without speaking. Kirk turned away. Relik spoke ignoring Kir's outburst toward McCoy. "Because you felt like it? Mr. Kirk I don't think you understand the gravity of this assignment—"

"I don't think you understand the gravity of this assignment; you're a dumb fat a—that likes to torture people."

"I like to torture people?" Relik said sceptically.

"I think I told you that, what you can't hear now?" Kirk was very angry. The class was staring at him.

"Your comment makes no sense."

"Your assignment makes no sense, but you know what I did it. And out of all the pieces of sh—I heard in class today this paper—" Kirk shook his notebook. "Is the only one that actually makes any sense."

"You think your attempt at this assignment is better than everybody else's? "

"I don't think, I know."

Relik shook his head. "Mr. Kirk your level of narcissism is unbelievable. I was about to throw you out this class,-" Relik continued sarcastically "but since I would hate to deprive the class of a literary masterpiece please continue and then afterwards Mr. Hemingway meet me in Renfield's office."

There was laughter throughout the class. Kirk ignored the sound and started reading. The beginning of the paper was short. Kirk had written a brief summary of why Kodos' decision was wrong. It was short, but Kirk felt it was more accurate than any of the other cadet's overblown analyses. Several mouths feel open and one or two people giggled as he read.

Kirk read the next section of his paper; it wasn't a justification for Kodos' actions, because as far as Kirk was concerned the man wasn't right and could never be right. More laughter followed as Kirk concluded that section.

When Kirk read the last section, where they were supposed to discuss the perspective of the Tarsus 9, he paused. Memories were threatening to engulf him; he pushed them back and plunged on.

"I was sent to Tarsus IV by my mother. She felt she couldn't handle me anymore, and that I would be better off staying with some family there. At first everything was fine on Tarsus, I liked it there. It was better than on Earth, I felt loved, I was happy. My family there was everything I had always wanted." Kirk paused; he felt tears gathering in his eyes as he thought of what happened next. He swallowed and continued. "Tarsus IV was prosperous, there was plenty of food, and crops did well. Then it all changed..."

Kirk ignored the eyes staring at him and continued. He went on for several minutes, when he got to the part about Kodos and what had happened next, he glanced up. Relik was staring at him. Kirk looked back down at his notebook and continued reading. "I was standing in the crowd and now everybody was nervous and scared by Kodos' speech. Weapon fire broke out, bodies started falling, and there was blood everywhere...screams filled the air, people were running and trampling others as they tried to escape. ..The bright flash of disruptors was almost blinding... I'll never forget the smell forget burning flesh..."

Kirk continued until finally almost five minutes later a voice said "Mr. Kirk stop right there." Kirk glanced up to find a red-faced Relik glaring at him.

Relik was livid. He said in a low voice. "I cannot believe you would stoop this low. This is an outrage." He shook the papers Kirk had handed him. "You are one of the most despicable humans, I have ever met. The levels you will go to for attention are sub-human."

"What sir?" Kirk said somewhat confusedly.

"Don't say anything, just listen." Relik started reading the first part of the paper out loud. " Kodos was wrong because he was a f—king crazy murderer. That damn bastard waited until he had the prime opportunity then he implemented his f—king eugenics program under the guise of saving the colonists. The a—hole didn't give a sh—about any of the colonists. "

Relik stopped reading and said "that's just to name a few. You then go on to say and I quote 'There's no point writing why Kodos was justified that f—king bastard never was and never can be justified. Anybody that believes any of his sh—is justified should go somewhere and kill their f—king selves. '"

Now that he heard somebody else reading it, Kirk realized it was a little harsh and maybe liquor had loosened his tongue too much. But he refused to feel guilty, because it was the truth. "Sir maybe that wasn't appropriate but—" Kirk began.

"Mr. Kirk be quiet. I'm not finished." Relik nearly shouted "You go on to write the part on the Tarsus 9 as if you were actually there and one of the survivors and –" Relik flicked through a few pages. "You make up an entire group of children of which you were the leader. This is damn blasphemous. The level of disrespect you show is unbefitting a Starfleet officer."

"Sir, there was no disrespect intended."

"This entire paper of lies is disrespectful; everything is a joke to you."

"This wasn't lies and I wasn't joking."

"Sit down Kirk; I'm reporting you to the highest officials. By tonight you'll be packing your bags, but before you go I want you to know that somebody as despicable as you deserves something awful to happen to them".

Kirk yelled "This wasn't f—king lies! I didn't—"

"You're saying you were one of the Tarsus 9, you survived Tarsus IV.?"

Kirk didn't want to answer he felt all the class, McCoy included staring at him. The words spilled out laced with shame and guilt. "I-I-I am."

There was a long silence; Then Relik said "Get out, just get out! You are evil and self-centred beyond belief..."

Kirk stood there and let Relik's insult's wash over him. Several people in class had started crying. Some were laughing- about what Kirk didn't know, because there wasn't anything remotely funny about the situation. Kirk felt awful, his head was aching still from the remnants of his hangover, his skin was sweaty, but worst of all was the pain from finally telling and nobody believing him.

Relik was saying "Kirk you should be ashamed, you are a person that deserved to have been on Tarsus , maybe if you were actually there and suffered like those people must have then you wouldn't think this was all a joke."

Kirk could only stare. He had been on Tarsus he had the scars and memories to prove it, but he didn't tell Relik any of this. What was the point the man wouldn't believe him anyway. Instead Kirk said "Fine... You know what I'm done... I'm done with this all." He let the notebook he had written his assignment in fall from his hand.

The class was staring at him. Kirk could see by their looks many thought he had been joking and they were holding back laughter. Other's expression was one of shock and horror. People were quietly crying and their friends were trying to comfort them. A few had intensely angry expressions on their face and Kirk knew the only thing stopping them from kicking his a—was the witnesses provided by the rest of the class. Only a few appeared to believe him.

Kirk shouldered his bag and walked down the aisle toward the exit through a barrage of comments.

"Once again hilarious Kirk. Though, you might have gone a little too far this time."

"My grandmother died on Tarsus IV, how could you?"

"Brilliant idea, wish I had thought of that for my paper."

"I loved the first part," A cadet said then laughed.

"They should expel you. They should put you in jail you a—hole."

"I'm so sorry I said those things the other —"

"You're a very cruel person. You should just do us all a favour a kill yourself!"

Kirk bowed his head and let the comments rain down on him. He was nearly at the exit when a voice surfaced above the noise. "Jim!"

Kirk paused for an infinitesimal second, and then he continued forward. He knew who had shouted his name. But he didn't stop because he couldn't bear to hear McCoy tell him how evil he was too or start up about how something was wrong with him. Kirk already knew he was evil. Why else had he thought that he could keep over 20 children from dying, why had he thought he was capable of saving anybody? Why was he the one alive and they were dead?

Kirk walked out the auditorium and disappeared into the crowd of cadets moving through the corridor.

XXXX XXXX

Controversy spiralled through the air. A myriad of emotions ran through the cadets remaining in the auditorium. One girl was wailing loudly "My Mother died on Tarsus IV and he just acted like it was all a joke."

Other cadets were laughing and joking. Several more had dark looks on their faces and were discussing about catching Kirk alone and teaching him some respect. Some cadets were sending sympathetic looks his way or muttering apologies. Relik was furiously calling someone on a comm. unit.

McCoy couldn't understand what had just happened. Kirk had just read an entire paper of fiction like it was real and he had even got offended when he was called out on it. McCoy couldn't understand why Kirk would have deliberately insulted he Tarsus was irreverent and generally sometimes very insulting. But he didn't go around making fun of people that had died. That just wasn't like him. McCoy was wondering was his friend crazy. Perhaps he had written the paper the way he had because to his psychotic mind it was real and he had been on Tarsus IV? McCoy didn't disregard the thought; he had heard stranger things in his years as a doctor. And over the past few weeks Kirk had been progressively becoming more scattered and reckless. His mood swings, labile temper, random fights, the mess hall incident and frequent outbursts could be a sign of some sort of mental illness. McCoy shouldered his way through a crowd of cadets up to where Kirk had been standing and picked up the notebook lying on the ground.

He sat down but didn't open it at first. He feared finding, odd drawings, and psychotic ramblings like he had seen in the writings of many schizophrenics over the years. Steeling himself, McCoy flipped the book open. He scanned the pages and was relieved to find that it was only filled with writing. Albeit the writing was almost illegible in some place like it had been written by a shaking hand. Many of the pages have large smears where the ink had run and blotches where the words were impossible to make out. McCoy started to read.

Relik dismissed the class and McCoy was still reading as he filed out the classroom with the other cadets. He went outside and found a secluded spot on a bench. He read up to the part he had heard in class then he started on the section Relik had apparently referenced when he told Kirk he was making up a group of kids. That part of the notebook was harder to read both because of the graphic detail and content and because these pages were extremely smeared and crinkled so that entire phrases were lost. As McCoy read familiar names from Kirk's drunken rant almost two weeks ago filtered up from the page and he realized the truth. McCoy looked up from the notebook.

He whispered "Sh-."

He thought about what he had read and realized why the pages of the notebook were so dilapidated. The stains on the pages were caused by tears. The writing that looked like it had been written by a shaking hand had been written by one. The paper was the truth and everybody hadn't believed him. McCoy tried to read the rest of the notebook but he couldn't bring himself to, feeling sick and horrified he shut it and shoved the notebook into his bag. McCoy didn't know what he would have done if half of what had happened to Kirk had happened to him. It made the problems with his wife and family seem small in comparison.

Kirk had lived in hell for a long time first physically and then in his mind and he had never told anybody. McCoy didn't know if he could have lived like that, he didn't know how Kirk could. McCoy remembered the miserable, hopeless expression on Kirk's face as he had left the classroom and knew he had to find him.

He nearly ran into the nearest building and started frantically asking anybody whether they had seen the younger man. Many cadets reacted angrily at the mention of Kirk's name and McCoy knew that he was making several enemies, but he didn't care. McCoy realized every cadet on campus himself included had been unwittingly pushing Kirk closer and closer to the breaking point. He feared that today they had pushed him over and McCoy needed to find him before he did something he couldn't take back.

McCoy passed Renfield's office and heard voices from within. One was Relik's the other Renfield's.

"I demand he be expelled. The display he showed in class was one of the most shameful attempts for attention ever seen." Relik's irate tones complained.

Renfield answered "I agree professor. I've tried to be lenient with him considering his circumstances, but after this incident he will have to be expelled. Lying about being in a massacre in which countless people died and disrespecting the survivor's is un—"

McCoy barged in. Relik glanced up from where he was sitting across from Renfield '"Dr. McCoy what are you—" Renfield started to say.

McCoy cut her off. "He wasn't lying!"

Relik glared at McCoy and said loudly "I understand that Kirk is your friend but really doctor I thought you had more integrity than to stand then to stand here and lie like this in an attempt to salvage his career. He 's being expelled and there's nothing you or anyone else can say or do that will change it"

"You self-righteous bastard. Don't you see what you're doing? Don't you see what you've done!"

"I'm helping to remove a cadet from the academy before he makes his way into Starfleet officially and ruins the fleet."

"No, you're not. He finally told somebody, and you, me everybody else didn't believe him! Listen to me he—"

"No, you listen to me. Your friend is a liar and apparently he's got you lying for him to." McCoy was seething with rage, but Relik continued. "I'm going to suggest that you face some disciplinary action for your conduct and I suggest you don't associate with liars. Now—"

Relik's further comments were cut off in strangled gasps as McCoy tried to choke him. Renfield intervened by pulling McCoy off. "That's enough!" Renfield glared at McCoy. Relik was gasping her breath. Renfield said "Doctor McCoy is being expelled and there is no negotiation He—"

Here words were interrupted by the beep of the comm. unit on her desk. Renfield let go of McCoy arm and reached over to receive the calls. Pike's face appeared on the view screen sitting on her desk. An older man's face appeared.

Renfield said "Captain Pike what can I do for you, sir?"

The older man, Captain Pike, said "Nothing at the moment commander Renfield. However, I just found out Kirk had papers issued against him for expulsion and I'd like to know the circumstances that led to this. I sincerely hope this was a misunderstanding or a computer glitch."

Relik and Renfield's mouth fell open. Even McCoy was astonished, he didn't know how Pike, A Starfleet Line officer, Captain of the Enterprise, even knew Kirk was alive let alone was monitoring him closely enough to find out almost immediately he was being expelled.

Renfield regained her composure first. "You heard of this situation sir? But you're –" She glanced at the comm. Number at the bottom of the screen and said "light years away!"

"I keep tabs on people I people I see have potential, no matter how far away I am." Pike said smoothly. He added "And now I'd like one of you to tell me what the hell is going on."

Renfield was surprised but she began "Sir, during one of his classes today he..." She briefly explained and added at the end. "Over the past two weeks he's had numerous incidents, including random fights, in the mess hall yesterday he went off, he's had several outbursts during class, his grades have been fluctuating, a few times he's come to classes inebriated and this paper was the last straw."

Pike was silent for several minutes then he asked Renfield "And this started after professor Relik asked for the assignment on Tarsus IV?"

"Well actually sir the personality disturbances appear to have begun the previous day in correlation to a discussion on the Kelvin, before the assignment was issued about Tarsus IV. Plus the anniversary of the Kelvin is coming up." Renfield added "However Kirk has no excuse for writing that assignment like he did. I read it. The paper is riddled with lies to gain attention. I didn't want to think like this but the way he's been acting and the stories he made up point to some kind of mental issues."

"They weren't lies. They were the truth, you b—" McCoy stared to shout.

"Be quiet. You have—" Renfield began.

Pike cut both of them off. "No, let him talk."

Renfield glanced at Pike with disbelief but complied.

McCoy was slightly uncomfortable with one of the most prominent Starfleet captain's watching him so closely, but he tried to explain anyway. "Captain, he isn't lying. It's the truth."

Pike's gaze was inscrutable when he asked "What's your name?"

"Dr. McCoy, Leonard McCoy."

"You're Kirk's friend?"

"Yes, sir."

Pike nodded to himself, and said "Relik, Renfield if you don't mind I'd like a word with this young man alone."

Renfield glanced curiously between McCoy and Pike before she acquiesced. Relik followed her out, glaring at McCoy as he did so.

When they were alone, McCoy began hurriedly "Captain, The paper they're talking about isn't lies. It—"

Pike said simply "I know."

McCoy stopped mid-sentence. "Y-y-you know?"

"I know Kirk was on Tarsus IV, I know he was one of the Tarsus 9."

McCoy stared then said "He didn't tell me. I didn't know and I'm one of his best friends, and he told you?"

"He didn't tell me."

"Then how did you find out?"

"It's a long story and a short one, but that's not important right now." Pike continued with a tinge of worry in his voice "where is he?"

"I don't know. He left class almost two hours ago now. I've been searching, but I can't find him. And I was looking everywhere and then I overheard them talking about expelling him and I tried to explain but..." McCoy trailed off.

Pike said "I'll straighten this out with the academy, they won't expel him. But I'm light years away and somebody needs to find him. I don't think anybody can fully know what's going through his head right now, but I've seen Tarsus IV and those are images you can't forget." Pike paused and McCoy saw a dark shadow flit across his face as a memory must have flashed through Pike's mind. Pike continued "Kirk's been living there for weeks after that assignment was issued and somebody needs to find him and bring back before he's too far gone."

McCoy caught the dual meaning in the statement and nodded.

Pike ordered. "Send Renfield and Relik in."

McCoy left the office and told her Pike wanted to speak with her. She walked into the office followed by Relik. McCoy continued searching for Kirk he desperately needed to find his friend.

Next chapter update will be March 5. So how was the chapter? The specific question for this chapter: Do you think it was reasonable for most of the class to not believe him. I know a lot of readers were thinking Kirk would be believed by everybody, but given his personality and behaviour I felt that was unreasonable. He makes jokes out of everything, has a reputation for never taking anything seriously and being attention seeking, so why would everybody believe him and not think this was one of his jokes? Especially considering how he wrote the first parts of his paper. There is an alternate ending that starts in this scene and has completely different reaction to Kirk's paper but you'll have to wait until this story is finished to read it. Thanks to all favouriters, follwers and especially reviewers.