* One Weeks Later*
Thursday – Erica's Bedroom
DEAR DIARY
It's going on three weeks now; sarah and I haven't spoken, and it's probably one of the most horrible things that has ever happened to me. I mean, the absolute WORST thing that could come in between two girlfriends, has happened… and now, I'm stuck in the middle of it.
Like., really in the middle of it. ethan's sure of what he wants, and it's definitely not sarah, so what am I supposed to do.! I can't say that it feels good.. but I can't exactly say that it feels bad – seeing ethan, that is…
I mean, I'm not actually seeing him right now, but even he and I can't deny the fact that there's something between us; we just feel each other's vibe and it's a feeling my soul is dying to hang onto.
The fear of feeling emotions pokes it head – like you're snoopy grandmother; out of the blue, here she comes, and it's like a thief in the night… ethan's stole my heart, and regardless of what that means to Sarah, I want him to keep it…
To be honest, and I mean to be frank… I don't see any way of mending my friendship with sarah… that's a done dotta… however, it didn't take long for me to realize the fact and decide… that I didn't care…
–All my life I want love and friendship, respect my heart or die from vamp power…
I guess… I just really wanna be happy, yabish.? It doesn't take much for a girl like me… and I believe that ethan and I are a match made in heaven…
–I just hate that it had to happen this way. But I guess it's true what they say; when you find real love…friends, will fall off like clockwork.
When the lights go out, and I'm in my bed, I think of all the madness in my head, and all of the things that I did back then…
–when I'm in my bed, I think of all the memories I've had…
all of the things I did back then
I can't help but think of all the memories I've had – sarah and I were the best of friends. lol
I mean, whenever I needed something… she was there. Whenever I had something to talk about… she would listen. But… I've come to the understanding that things happen for a reason. Plus ethan's grown now, he's on his own now… and he's poppin', get off his phone now, he's gone now, sarah… he's got options…
:'(
I hate that it had to be this way… but I can't let the opportunity slip away… I-I love ethan. simple and plain. I know more than anything that he and I are meant, and rest assured I won't pass up the wonderful opportunity at a great man.
–you go girl ;)
ethan understands, I don't want him for the things that he can do for me… I want ethan because he's gonna make me a better erica…
–but tell me diary, what would you do.?
When the lights go out, and I'm in my bed, I think of all the madness in my head, and all of the things that I did back then…
–when I'm in my bed, I think of all the memories I've had…
all of the things I did back then
how… I'm feeling , it..doesn't matter… cause, you know I'm o-kay… and still, I ask myself why do you hurt, when you know, you know I'm the same… and no… I know that you love me, baby… they're tryin' to take you away from me… only… over my dead… bah… body… ;) to ethan 3
so… cheers… diary, you guys… jlevi… to a new erica.! Cheers, because God has changed my life for the better. Sometimes, especially when things are going bad, you have to just kick back and count the blessings in your life.
* they're easy to miss…
thinking about ethan… I can just imagine this smooth guy, skipping down this Chicago street, whistling the sweetest tune that an ear could possibly hear.
I won't listen to the lies, you swear they're all lies, you're tryna be my knight in suit and armor all ties… I know that you're the one come and holla at me… send her on the next train to I don't care where she may be…
"–don't listen to lies, I swear they're all lies you know I can be your knight in shining armor all ties, I will love you like a prince, like a new queen with the crown and it's just you and me, they won't know how we get down…"
"–Ethan.?" I gasp as his presence consumes the room. "Hey… I didn't know you like that song…" he replies to me sweetly, but I had nothing to say.! Utterly amazed at the fact that he'd actually appeared before me in my bedroom… I just stood… in amazement.
"I've been missing you…" he says in a whisper, and before you know it, I'm swooped into the confines of his arms, and he's holding me, the way a new groom holds his bride – even though it's been hours since we talked, days since we've seen each other, and weeks since we last kissed… this moment felt all the more surreal…
"–what are you doing here.?" I plea once my breath consumes me, for he knocked it all away, simply, by entering the room.
Whenever ethan's around me, I feel like one of the girls in The-Dream's video, Shawty is da Sh*t. He really makes me feel like something special, and to be honest, no other friendship is more valuable to me right now, than his…
"So… erica…" he says through gritted teeth, ignoring my question, and I already know that he's plotting to mess with me. "YES, ethan.?" "You don't call… you don't text… I mean, for a second I thought that you might have disappeared off the planet, or something…"
:) only ethan would say something like that…
"–well what about you, mr. morgan?" Ethan retreats, vaguely offended, "What about me?" he says. "I can say the same about you… You don't call… you don't text… it's almost as if… iono… you've been avoiding me.!"
Ethan falters under my accusation, but is quick to recover. "Avoiding you.? Are you crazy..? or is it just your vampire senses going wack-o. hmm.?"
I laugh. I can't help it… when you feel love, you find yourself doing all sorts of things that you don't want to. I swear to you, girls, yes… all of you… these are dreams that only emotions can buy. Never let go of that hope for love, it's the most precious thing that you have right now.
Ethan and I lay side-to-side on my queen size, and as the two of us lay there, my thoughts swim to sarah and my mind's screaming… don't f*ck with me., don't f*ck with me…
* brrrrinnnnggg.! brrrrrrinnnnggg.!
Speaking of which – my hand flies to my phone – eager to switch it on silent, but something in me told me to check the display for a message…
–and when I did so…
l|| 7:27PM 4GLTE ||l
From
Sarah
we need to talk… be there in five…
l|| REPLY ||l
aww sh*t…
–I'm going to have to hide ethan