Misconceptions And Misunderstandings
Chapter 13
Kagome didn't intend to lose her temper. She didn't know why she had. Yes she did. His condescending, superior attitude had always gotten on her nerves. She knew patience was the best way to deal with him in his present state of health. But that 'I am lord of all I survey and I will get what I want' tone of his on top of Shippo's earlier attempt at interrogation was just more than she could take.
She hadn't planned to yell at him. She certainly hadn't planned to let him know that she knew the answers he was seeking. And she absolutely had not expected him to kiss her. Although it was not a kiss intended for pleasure. No. This was a kiss meant to punish. To exact revenge for denying his will. His demands. Well she refused to roll over and play dead for him. She would not submit. Not anymore. She would show him she could give as good as she got. She didn't even stop to think of the consequences when she grabbed the lapels of his jacket and kissed him back.
He was surprised at her reaction. He still didn't know why he kissed her. It had not been on his mind. He was angry that she refused to answer his questions even though she had admitted loudly that she knew the answers and chose to withhold them from him. She was his mate. It was her duty to submit to him. It was his right to administer punishment if she did not. That his chosen form of punishment was a kiss was something he would examine much later.
Each of them examined their motives for the attack, but the battle was far from over. Kagome was shaken from her thoughts when he bit her bottom lip. It stung and she felt drops of liquid on her chin. Blood. She gasped when she realized that the bastard had bitten her hard enough to bring blood. His tongue snaked out to lap up the blood and slip into her mouth. She tasted the coppery tang of her blood on his tongue.
Kagome flattened her hands on his chest and pushed. It was like trying to move a brick wall. He ignored her attempts to push him away and continued his exploration of her mouth. Without thinking, she bit his tongue. That made him back up. She hadn't intended to bite hard, so it was a shock when she looked up at him to see blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. His eyes narrowed. He raised a finger to catch the drops of blood. He looked at it disinterestedly before he slowly lapped it up. His eyes never left hers as his lips twisted into a smirk.
Oh gods, she thought. What have I done? This is not my Sesshoumaru. This is the Sesshoumaru that would kill over a minor irritation without a second thought. She backed up, mind frantically churning. Trying to find a way to escape. Running was useless. His demon speed would ensure her capture. And probably make him even angrier. If she called out, would anyone try to intervene? How bad would he hurt them if they did?
She realized he was now stalking her. For every step she took backward, he took a step forward. That self-satisfied smirk still playing about his lips.
"There is nowhere to run little miko."
He reached out and grabbed the collar of her blouse and pulled her slowly to him. He could smell her fear. Somewhere in the back of his mind the thought lingered that his mate should not fear him. But the overwhelming thought was that he would do whatever was necessary to make her submit.
He lowered his head to whisper in her ear. "You shouldn't taunt an inu if you aren't prepared to handle the consequences."
She shivered at his warm breath on her ear. Before she could react, she found herself on the floor. He had her pinned beneath him.
His breath was again warm in her ear. "Since you won't tell me why, perhaps I should discover for myself."
His lips closed over her earlobe and she felt a gentle tugging. Her breath hitched in her throat as those same tantalizing lips traced a path to her shoulder. She closed her eyes. His touch had turned gentle. It was her undoing. She could feel his arousal pressing against her. Her arms lifted to his shoulders. Whether to push him away or pull him closer, even she could not say. He unbuttoned the first two buttons of her blouse and peeled it back to expose more of her neck to him. She gave a small moan when he slowly licked the skin between her neck and shoulder.
"You seem to have a problem with submitting to your mate. Perhaps that is because the mating is incomplete. This Sesshoumaru will now remedy that."
She wasn't sure what had triggered her awareness. Maybe his referring to himself in the third person. A reminder that this was not her Sesshoumaru she was dealing with. And that his gentle lovemaking was only another way to get what he wanted. Her eyes snapped open and she began to struggle. He held her down without effort and caught her wrists easily in one of his large hands.
She met his stare with her own. "Let me go."
His eyes lingered a moment before he rolled away from her and sat up raking a hand through his hair.
"So. It is true. You do not want this Sesshoumaru for a mate."
She sucked in a breath and came up on her knees.
"Don't put words in my mouth."
He looked over to her. She reached out to push his hair out of his face.
"I want you to know exactly what you are doing and what you truly want. I don't want you to regret it once your memory returns."
He raised a knee and draped his arm over it, turning fully to her. "Why would I regret it?"
She looked away. "It's complicated."
He touched her face turning it back to him. "So make it uncomplicated."
She shook her head. "I can't. You need to remember it on your own."
"And if I don't?"
She folded her hands in her lap and looked at the floor. "I don't know."
She looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyes. "I really don't know."
He watched silently as she unlocked the door and walked out of the room. He got up and went to the window. His thoughts were on what had just happened. He would have taken her right there on the floor if she had not made it clear that she was not in agreement. He would have marked her as his mate. Far from the comfort of their bed. Was he truly that uncivilized? Or was it a madness that only she aroused in him?
Inuyasha was pacing the hall. He'd been worried when Sesshoumaru insisted on talking to Kagome while he was still upset. He didn't know what had upset him. He'd replayed their conversation a dozen times trying to figure out what he said that set him off. His ears had flattened to his head when he heard them yelling at each other. Then it had gotten quiet and he really began to worry. Twice he had considered breaking down the door. The only thing that stopped him was knowing that Kagome was more likely to kill him than his brother.
He heard the lock click and turned just in time to see Kagome coming out of the room. Her clothes were rumpled and her hair mussed. He allowed a smile that maybe they had worked things out. Until he saw her swollen lip and the tears in her eyes.
"What happened? Are you alright?"
She shook her head and pushed past him. He spared her only a glance before slamming into the room she had just left. Seeing his brother staring out the window, he stalked over.
"What the hell did you do to her, you bastard?"
Sesshoumaru didn't turn around. "If you must know, I kissed her."
Hardly what Inuyasha was expecting to hear.
"It must have been some fucking kiss. Her lip is swollen and bleeding. And she's crying. A kiss isn't something to make her cry…"
Unless she's watching someone she loves kiss someone else.
With that thought Inuyasha growled. "Is that what you did you fucking bastard? Did you cheat on her? Is that what all this is about?"
Sesshoumaru turned to face his brother, his own growl sounding low in his throat. "You are certainly one to criticize another. How often did you abandon her for that dead miko?"
Inuyasha took a swing at his brother. Sesshoumaru dodged it with ease. Claws extended, Inuyasha faced him.
"This isn't about me. I lost her. I know that. I've hurt her enough. I won't stand by and watch you do it too. She deserves better."
Sesshoumaru turned back to the window.
Inuyasha growled again. "Answer me, damn it. Did you cheat on her? Is that what she won't tell me?"
Sesshoumaru uttered a low growl. "No. I did not cheat on her."
Inuyasha blinked. "Your memories… Did they…"
Sesshoumaru's answer was almost a whisper. "No."
Inuyasha exploded. "Then how the fuck do you know if you cheated or not?"
Sesshoumaru faced his brother again as he raked his hand through his hair.
"You're an inu. You know we mate for life. Regardless of whether she bears my mark or no, she is my mate. This Sesshoumaru would not have gone through the human ceremony if there had been no plans to mate."
He bowed his head. "Even if she believes otherwise."
Inuyasha calmed somewhat. He was back to square one. With no more answers than he had before. His brother's argument had been logical. So what had happened? He had to find Shippo. Maybe he got some answers from Kagome. He closed the door behind him, leaving his brother with his thoughts.
Sesshoumaru turned back to the window. He still had no answers. Why would she think he would regret mating her? What had happened? He had told Inuyasha he had not cheated on her. He had made it sound convincing. While it was true that an inu mates for life, he is a lord. He knew without a doubt they were estranged, even if he didn't know why. If that were the case… If she denied him her bed and his rights as her mate… Then it was his right to take a lover. If she refused to bear him an heir, then he also had the right to claim any bastards that lover might produce as his legitimate offspring with full inheritance rights.
He was glad his hanyou brother did not have a greater understanding of demon laws. Fighting with Inuyasha was counter productive and would solve nothing. While he couldn't say with absolute certainty he had not taken a lover, he knew it went against everything he believed. He also knew that he would never allow his mate to deny him his rights. He was far too skilled at seduction and his mate had been very responsive. He hardened at the thought of just how responsive. He again raked a hand through long silver locks. Best not to allow his mind to travel that road.
He saw Kagome as she ran from the house. She was heading for the gardens he had seen her walking in before. He wondered if she walked there often. It seemed to be her refuge when she was upset. He mentally acknowledged that he had been the cause of her upset more than once since he woke up. He wondered if he was the reason she was so familiar with the gardens.
His vision swam and a pain behind his eyes heralded another flicker of suppressed memory. And he now fully believed that was what he was experiencing. He saw a smiling Kagome. They were walking along a street. She carried her shoes in her hand. He was laughing at her. Laughing? They stopped at the base of a great number of steps. A shrine? Well she was a shrine maiden. So where else would she live?
His thoughts came back clearly as if he were only now thinking them. 'I want to kiss her. I wonder if she'll let me. All she can do is say no. Or slap me. It's not like either result will hurt me. Not even my ego. I don't think I could resist the temptation even if I were sure she would purify me'.
The vision faded, as did the pain. However, this time it remained in his mind with crystal clarity. He had just remembered their first kiss. These were memories. Not dreams. He tried to recall other things. It seemed his mind was back to being uncooperative. But at least this memory had not faded like the rest. Did that mean that he would soon recover all of his memories?
He glanced up to see Kagome again. It seemed that she was a part of all of his memory flashes. Was she so much a part of his memory? He opened the glass door without thinking and walked out onto the balcony. He vaulted the rail and landed softly on the grass. He needed to spend more time with her. There was a good chance that it would encourage more memories to surface. At least that was an excuse that would stand up to further scrutiny from those who would try to make more of it.
He found her on the path to the rose garden. He didn't know how he knew that. He just knew. Not because he could smell the scent of roses in the air, but because he knew that a very large and colorful rose garden rested at the end of the path he was on. Another memory. Not surprisingly, another memory of her.
He was again walking with her. He held her hand in his and seemed to be guiding her.
"Don't open them yet. It will spoil the surprise."
Her eyes were closed. It was late afternoon and the sun was quickly sinking on the horizon. The land was bathed in the low light of the setting sun. Kagome's favorite time of day. When the day was through and the worries of the day faded into the calm quiet night. For a human, she took great pleasure in the simplicity of nature. Most humans had to have something exciting to do or see. They were bored otherwise.
He led her into the rose garden. It was a profusion of color. Every color he had been able to acquire. He had spared no expense. It contained some of the rarest specimens in the world. The scent alone was overwhelming to his senses. But a pleasant one nonetheless. He could see her nose wrinkle as the scent hit her.
"Sesshoumaru? I smell roses."
They were her favorite flowers.
"You can open your eyes now."
She did. And then they widened with a look of childlike wonder. She let go of his hand to walk forward. She turned this way and that. She bent over to trail her fingers gently over a fragile bloom. The smile she turned on him was radiant.
"It's so beautiful. You never told me you had a rose garden."
He smirked and moved to her side, his hands in his pockets.
"That's because I didn't."
She looked up at him. "You didn't?"
He slowly shook his head, never taking his eyes off of her.
"I had it designed recently. For you. Do you like it?"
There had been a hint of tears in her eyes before she threw her arms around him. Her face was so expressive he really hadn't needed to ask the question. Her pleasure was obvious to anyone with eyes.
Once again the vision faded, but remained clear in his mind. He caught up to her. She was sitting on a bench surrounded by roses on three sides as they climbed high on the trellises attached to the bench. She looked up to meet his eyes as he sat down beside her without invitation. At least she was no longer crying.
"Why did you come? I wanted some time to think. Alone."
"I wanted to walk with you."
He stood up and held out his hand to her. She eyed it for only a moment before placing her hand in his. He held it tightly as they began to walk in silence. Once they reached the main path, he stopped their progress.
"Close your eyes."
"What?"
"Don't open them yet. It will spoil the surprise."
Her mouth opened in shock at the remembered words of a night that seemed so far away. She turned to him, searching his face, her words not above a whisper.
"You remembered."
To be continued….