A/N: Sorry for the delay everyone. I just want to thank everyone for reading and the feedback is greatly appreciated. I'll do my best to make sure i never make you all wait this long again. I've just been busy with life. Anyway, I'm so sorry and I hope you enjoy the next chapter. :D
Slightly disoriented, Ashley blinked and looked around the room.
Spencer's bedroom.
A small smile threatened to shape her lips but she stopped it, lying completely still as the warm arms around her tightened, embracing her more thoroughly. Spencer slept soundly spooned against her back, breathing softly near her ear. She loved waking up to the blonde and it was abnormal for her to love waking up at all. Normally she'd start the morning swallowing, snorting, or smoking something before brushing her teeth. The rest of the day would be a daze and then forgotten the next morning. None of her days were ever worth remembering, but she didn't want to forget today or yesterday or even he day before, wanting those memories and the new ones they'd make today.
The zune dock's alarm went off, Ashley stared at it hearing a soft groan from behind. She could no longer contain a smile as the blonde held her tighter, burying her face into her neck. "Make the sun go down." She drowsily pleaded, the words muffled against her skin.
Ashley placed a hand over the one on her stomach, caressing the soft skin. "Don't you love the sunshine, Sunshine?"
The blonde weakly chuckled. "Not when it keeps me from you."
Ashley rolled over until she was on her back. "I'm right here," She reached up and brushed her fingers through blonde bangs gazing into her lover's sleepy face with a playful smile. "So take me."
Spencer bent down and she easily accepted a tender kiss placed on her lips. "We have school." With an affectionate smile, she placed a finger over her lips. "And no, we can't skip. Exams start today, remember?"
The brunette playfully kissed the digit pressed against her sealed lips "How can I after all the studying we did?"
Spencer shook her head becoming more awake, the sleepiness in her eyes replaced with a playful excitement. There was also joy etched noticeably on her features and it was obvious she wasn't the only one who enjoyed waking up this morning. "I studied. You just lied here watching me."
She smiled, a genuine happy one that didn't exist anywhere else. "Reading is the last thing I want to do with you in the room."
"And what's the first?" The blonde asked affectionately running the back of her knuckles down the left side of her face.
Her hand, which rested comfortably on the small of Spencer's back, ran up capturing a bare wrist. Ashley smiled into her lover's blue eyes moving up to take her lips in a searing kiss, their mouths never parting as she rolled over, pinning the blonde underneath her. "Begging," She panted against her lips, kissing her more softly.
Spencer giggled running her fingers through waves of curly hair. "Begging for what?"
Ashley smiled against a soft pair of lips. "Another day with you." She nipped at her bottom lip, gazing into her eyes. "Not at school."
"We can't." The blonde's forehead came to rest on hers shaking her head from side to side, their noses brushing against each other, their eyes locked, she murmured again, "We can't."
Mondays. She hated Mondays. She hated all the week days. "I know." She forced a smile and pecked her girlfriend's lips, allowing it to linger as she held her close. "But it'd be nice."
The chrome colored door opened and a flip flop was first to step out followed by the rest of a petite frame. The teenager took a couple steps away from the car and closed the door. Glancing down at her body, examining the light blue cami and jeans; she swiped a hand through her curly hair and turned her head, meeting the happy face of her beautiful girlfriend. "I look like an Old Navy Model."
Spencer smiled at the random outburst and took her hand as they walked to the quad. "And what exactly are you trying to say about my style?"
"That it's hot on you and.." With dark shades covering her eyes, she tightened her grasp on the hand holding hers feeling a sudden wave of paranoia destroy her relaxed mood. "Different on me." She finished masking her discomfort with a lop sided grin.
Everyone's eyes were on them watching their every move, waiting, wondering, and turning to their friends to point them out.
The urge to look over her shoulder was strong imagining someone whispered 'dykes.' She ignored it and focused on the girl walking her through hell.
None of it was real.
Her mind loved fucking with her, sober or high, it didn't matter. Paranoia was beginning to be a close friend of hers, making daily visits, sometimes brief, sometimes long, lasting into the night, keeping her from the delicious escape of sleep, something she didn't get very much of, and when she did, there were usually nightmares that followed.
"Different?" Spencer tilted her head and with an appreciative gaze raked over her body. "You're right." A look of mock concern painted her features and she cooed, "You're beautiful body is fully clothed." A goofy smile sprawled over her lips and she leaned over placing a brief innocent kiss on her cheek. Ashley tensed and her eyes moved quickly to the left and then right making sure no one saw. "Don't worry, you still look amazing."
"But you're wrong." She corrected pointing to her mostly bare shoulder, a thin strap weakly covering the skin there. "I'm still showing some skin."
Spencer immediately blushed at the sight. "You should have picked the one with the sleeves." She murmured facing straight ahead with an almost shy smile on her face.
"It's not too late." Her low voice responded turning to look at the shirt with the sleeves.
"What?" The blonde playfully inquired. "Want me to take it off right here and hand it over?"
"You're boyfriend wouldn't like that too much." Their hands were separated as a tall muscular boy wedged himself between their walking bodies wrapping his arms around their shoulders; he looked at Spencer with a arch in his brow. "Do I want to know what I walked in on?"
"Our plans to fuck in the bathroom." His head snapped in her direction and she was reminded of how much she disliked his shocked face. "It was a joke." As subtly as she could, she slipped from underneath his arm and simply walked next to the 'happy' couple.
Phoenix. She officially stepped into the presence of the popular, gorgeous, 'girlfriend' of Aiden Dennison, the moment her Porsche pulled onto campus. Her eyes flickered over to them. They were perfect, everyone loved them, predicting they'd be together forever because of how beautiful, talented, and happy they were. Little did everyone know, they were bullshit.
They were gay.
A teenage boy, William who was also on the team took the empty space next to the blonde and began chatting it up about practice. Turning her head, she tuned them out and unconsciously wondered if she ever did anything with him. Or maybe he was there when that other asshole bragged about fucking her. Of course, he wasn't the only jock she fucked. There was a whole list of them out there. Names were never exchanged and they all started to look a like after a while, she had no idea who fucked her or who knew, and she really didn't care.
The drugs were worth it.
Shooting another glance at the beautiful blonde, she questioned her place in her girlfriend's life. The one she led so deceivingly well. The play that was her school life. Spencer played lead actress and Ashley felt like the person back stage. The one who pulled the ropes or worked the lights- the person in the background.
But even she had to admit; It was for the best.
She was a whore and Spencer was the best player on an all boy's basketball team. Straight A's, perfect attendance- the girl who could do everything, the one person who ever gave her anything worth owning, her heart handed to her raw and beating, strong and filled with love.
Ashley wasn't sure what to do with it outside in the real world.
She wasn't anything like Phoenix. They were different on many different levels and no one would look at them and think they were perfect for each other, not like her and Aiden.
The thought didn't sit well with her.
She didn't understand what so many people saw in the tall dark haired boy.
Then again,
She never gave him much of a fair chance.
Ever since 6th grade, when he moved into her neighborhood, from their first encounter in front of his house, standing beside her little blonde friend, seeing the amazement in her eyes as he did some trick on his skateboard- she always had this fear of him. That he'd take Spencer away from her and like the stupid teenagers in so many cliché movies; they'd end up falling in love, becoming the most enviable couple in high school, and one day get married living a boring traditional lifestyle with Spencer playing housewife and Mommy while Aiden's job required him to come home at night in a business suit, walking through the front door pecking his wife's lips before taking a seat at the dinner table where the food Spencer slaved over a hot stove over lied on a beautiful custom made table cloth.
For awhile she was convinced her worst nightmare was slowly coming true, especially when they started dating. She couldn't stand the sight of them and wished on more than one occasion it was her holding Spencer's hand, kissing her, making her smile and not him. Of course, her anger towards them was short lived when she found out the truth.
The drugs that night was amazing. Ashley wasn't too sure what exactly was in her system; her vision techni color, her heart steadily beating, she felt her body vibrate from the rhythm; she was perfect. Life was amazing and she owned the world. At the top, she looked down and laughed; she was above everyone else at a stupid fair Glen insisted they go check out. At first, she had no desire to go and then he whipped something out of his pocket, something small, see through and filled with an off white powder.
A cocktail he explained piquing her interest.
A variety of different pills crushed up and placed in a small glass vessel.
It was magic. Every second high was bliss in its purest form. She never wanted to come down, and she didn't. Snorting it throughout the evening, she only paid short brief visits to reality, hearing things she didn't care for, she burrowed back into her mind, to her reality. One she would easily give her life for, the risk was worth it, the possibilities of a heart attack or stroke never present in her mind when she snorted more than what was safe.
Fuck safety.
"I've never done this before." A deep voice floated from somewhere nearby. She wasn't sure who the owner was or why he was with her or where they were going, but she kept walking with him in the darkness. If she were sober she'd realize they were heading to the darkest part of the fair littered with dumpsters and unused props.
They were the only ones in the area.
"Done," She sniffled hard for the thousandth time that night and lost her balance but quickly recovered on her own and avoided falling flat on her face. "Done what?"
"Pay to have someone do stuff to me."
The words snapped her out of the beautiful world she strolled wonderfully through, one that existed only to her, and she found herself backed up against something cold, the smell around them revolting; a familiar scent of shit and every day trash- Ashley made out his features and with dilated pupils watched his face near hers; she turned away from him, "Don't." She murmured as he jerked his head back.
His nervous, almost shy, inexperienced demeanor vanished, replaced with a harsh coldness. "I gave Glen two hundred dollars for this and he promised I wouldn't get ripped off." His hand came up and roughly cupped her jaw. "You're going to let me kiss you, okay?"
Closing her eyes, she relaxed against the dumpster. His lips bluntly pressed against hers, every muscle in her body tensing all over again, she closed her hands in tight fists, the nails of her thumbs digging into the palm of her hands as he touched her all over. And like a God send, she mentally fled the scene and was back on her peaceful stroll though la la land where everything was perfect.
An abrupt noise nearby brought her back to the fair and panic swept through her. Pushing the body tightly pressed against her, she turned her head. Turning the corner of a different dumpster, she immediately made out one of the two people who were now eagerly making out. Fueled by anger, she stalked toward them ignoring the fuming boy following behind, a million different thoughts rushing through her head.
What the fuck was he doing there?
With strength only drugs and anger provided, she grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him off the other- guy??!! Her eyes widened and she snapped her head to an equally freaked out Aiden. "You fucking bastard!" She lashed out at him losing all control, her fists beating at his much larger body in an angry frenzy. "You mother fucker I'll fucking kill you for doing this to her!"
With help from Aiden's 'friend', she was pulled off him and held tightly by her wrists. "Let me fucking go!" She screamed struggling against a strong body.
"Calm the fuck down." The dark haired boy ordered wiping blood from the corner of his lips.
"Why? So you can fucking cheat on her some more?" Her efforts were renewed as the words left her mouth and every fiber in her body yearned to give him what he deserved. "I'll make you pay so fucking bad, I swear I'll rip off your fucking balls and shove them down your throat you pathetic excuse for a fucking man."
"I didn't pay to see a fight." An irritated voice floated through the night air meeting her ears. She froze watching Aiden's eyes widen and then flicker away from hers, landing on him.
"What did you pay for?" He curiously asked breaking the silence.
"What do you think?" The boy replied sounding angry and out of patience. He looked back at Ashley. "I paid for her pussy and I'm waiting to have it. So are you ready?"
"No." She answered money being the last thing on her mind. "Go ask Glen for a refund. I'm done."
"That's bullshit!"
"I think you better leave." His blue eyes scanned over his much smaller frame. He'd easily take the boy down and his stance told him so. Her 'customer' looked ready to argue, and after sizing up Aiden, and murmuring a 'fuck this' he turned around in an angry huff and walked away.
Turning his head, blue eyes landed on the much bigger body keeping Ashley restrained. His gaze softened. "You should leave too."
With a short nod, the muscular Latino released Ashley and awkwardly left the two alone.
Aiden looked back at the quiet girl in front of him. Her arms were folded around herself as she leaned heavily back against the dumpster, staring at the ground. "I'm not the only one with a secret-"
Her brown eyes snapped over to his blue, fuming. "I'm not the one cheating-"
"Neither am I." Aiden cut her off and before she could say another word added, "I'm gay and she knows I'm gay and like the good person she is, she's decided to help me out by pretending to be my girlfriend so when some straight girl asks me out I can tell her I'm taken. Now what's your fucking excuse?" He sounded disgusted and it was his turn to be angry. He knew how much Ashley meant to Spencer. She held the curly haired girl high up on a pedestal.
He never understood why.
She was a bitch as far as he was concerned.
A warm rush washed over her and her eyes fluttered shut, a lazy smile sprawling over her lips; she felt really good all of a sudden and nothing could bring her down. Not even Aiden who softly said her name and then cursed it a second later. "You're fucked out of your mind, aren't you?" No, nothing about her was fucked. She was perfect in every sense of the word. Life was amazing. She shook her head from side to side. "Is that why you do it? To pay for your...drugs?"
"What?" His words entered her mind jumbled together and too fast for her to understand. "Oh yeah." She quickly added realizing what he was asking and at this point all she wanted to do was be honest about everything because life was too good to lie and everything was amazing and everyone loved her.
"God, if she ever found out..." He shook his head from side to side watching her head loll to the side before snapping straight up again. "You'd break her heart." She simply shrugged and looked away, staring into space with her glassy eyes. He wasn't going to let the worthless piece of trash in front of him do that to Phoenix. She was too good of a person to get hurt by some junkie whore who fucked guys for drug money. "If you really cared about her, you'd back the fuck off." He spoke sternly, loudly, and clearly- he wanted her to hear and understand every word. "Because if she found out her best friend who she loves so much sold her body for money- with her brother?- it'd fucking kill her. So do everyone a favor and spare her the pain of loving someone who obviously doesn't give a fuck about her." Ashley looked at him, a blank expression on her face, the lazy smile gone. "I won't tell her what I saw, but you have to promise you won't say anything about me to anyone else." He paused and then added, "And I want you stop hanging around her."
Despite her current state of mind, she heard and understood everything Aiden was asking. Spencer...they rarely talked anymore, but they still did, occasionally whenever they ran into each other. Ashley would do everything in her power to make sure she never realized how fucked she was and smiled a lot pretending everything in her life was fine and dandy- she never wanted her to find out the truth about her fucked up life, about anything.
And she'll never know.
Ashley was going to spare her the pain of knowing her and stop hanging around for awhile. And when the blonde approached her, she'd push her away whenever she got too close, and keep a safe distance.
Convince her to hate her.
"Okay."
Ashley turned her head noticing the silence in the air. Aiden walked between her and Spencer staring down at his cell phone, his fingers moving like crazy on the small keypad. Obviously texting someone. Her eyes moved to Spencer. The blonde stared ahead in deep thought- Ashley followed her gaze to a girl sitting cross-legged under a small tree. She recognized her immediately. The rocker. She had a class with her last year, but couldn't remember her name. She looked back at Spencer. The blonde never gave her an answer as to what happened on their date, and for a moment, she questioned who dumped who and why?
"Oh! Phoenix come here, Justin and I need your input."
Ashley's head snapped toward the voice.
Lost in her thoughts, she didn't realize exactly where they had stopped.
Right in front of Madison and her current boyfriend Justin at a picnic table. She was out of there. Hanging out with Aiden was one thing, but hanging out with both Madison and Aiden was too much. She couldn't stand the Latina. "Hey," Spencer looked at her before taking a seat at the table. "I'm leaving."
Spencer hesitated, debating whether to ask her to stay or not, and then finally nodded. "See you at lunch?"
"Yeah."
How familiar the walk to the back of the school felt. Strolling through crowds of people she couldn't stand, feeling their eyes on her, her mind bad mouthing each and every one of them like she had done so many times before- she felt like the same person and nothing was different about her life. If she looked over her shoulder, she'd see Spencer with Aiden and their jock friends laughing and talking about the game or their perfect relationships, ones they promise would last forever. And Ashley, she was headed behind the school where all the 'bad' kids hung out.
Littered with dumpsters, cigarettes, and drugs, it wasn't hard running into viscous gang members and wannabe drug lords- a hand wrapped around her wrist and she was pulled against a thin body, "Hey, whore." The blonde greeted her with a teasing smile.
"Cunt." Ashley smirked moving out of her grasp, she reached out and hooked her fingers in her belt loops, "When are you going to learn?" Pulling the small blonde to her, their faces inches away, she smugly reminded, "I always make the first move."
"I'm sorry, Master." The blonde in her arms grinned. "I sometimes forget I'm just you're bitch,"
Alexis lifted her left hand to her face. Brushing a cigarette gripped loosely between two fingers against her lips, Ashley parted them accepting the thin white stick. "And my only purpose in life is to please you." The brunette said nothing, her face expressionless as she took a drag off the cigarette, examining the face so close to hers. Alexis was gorgeous. Stroking her soft face with one hand watching her brown eyes turn from playful to something more serious, the intensity enough to make her do something cruel, her hand moved down her neck. She was so mean to her, this cute girl who went out of her way to make her happy. Ashley didn't give fuck. She could buy her the world, wrap it in gold and hand it to her on a silver platter and she still wouldn't love her.
A smile made its way onto her lips.
When they slept together, it wasn't even her she was sleeping with.
She'd imagine someone else.
"You have a glow."
Ashley's eyes never left her face as her fingers brushed over her left breast; Alexis sharply inhaled and then held her breath as she moved lower. "I don't want to glow." Her fingers lingered at the crotch of her jeans enjoying the change in her eyes, the lids slightly lowering, the desire making its presence known. "I want to soar." Her fingers trailed across her thigh to the right pocket of her jeans; she reached in and pulled out a black case of mints.
"I'll take that." The cigarette was gently removed from her hand. "I always need one around you." She paid no attention to the girl standing inches away from her. Her eyes and hands were solely focused on the small mint box in her possession. A surge of excitement rushed through her, opening the lid, hungrily examining the small white pills inside, the rest of the school day would be something to look forward to instead of loathe. "Are you sure that's a good idea? We're taking exams in a few minutes..."
"Fuck exams." She placed two white pills on her tongue and dry swallowed them with no problems. Exams. Spencer came to mind after hearing the word and without realizing it, she smiled. The blonde had spent a good part of the night studying. A clear picture of her determined face deep in concentration as blue eyes scanned the small text of the study guide came to mind. Lying next to her on the bed as she studied, watching her every move, Ashley fell into a deep easy sleep.
The smile died along with the fond memory as the brunette slipped the box of mints back into Alexis' jeans feeling the klonopin's affects.
"I want all these cigarettes out now!" A female voice boomed from behind. The Principal, Ms. Alley, always came back there looking for trouble. Standing 5'8, she was in her mid 40's but kept herself in decent shape. Usually wearing a lady's business suit, she kept her long brown hair pinned up and had a very powerful demeanor. She was an intimidating figure when she wanted to be, but Ashley wasn't going to be a good little girl for her. The fear she normally saw in other people's eyes as she approached them made her eyes roll. She was nothing to be afraid of. "Young lady, did you hear me?" Her eyes watched Alexis' face as she took one last drag off the cigarette.
Ashley gently grabbed her wrist and urged it back against the brick wall, extinguishing the white stick, she kept her hand pinned above her head and moved in taking her lips in a hard forceful kiss. She wanted to give Ms. Alley a show. Her hand moved up cupping a full breast as she teased Alexis' tongue- A hand wrapped around her upper arm and she was pulled off the blonde.
"You're coming with me." The hand released her arm, she paid no attention to it or the owner. Her eyes were focused on Alexis' shocked face. She hardly ever kissed her and when she did, she was fucked out of her mind.
"Tell me you didn't like it." Alexis challenged the confident look on her face telling Ashley she assumed she loved it. That she was soooo turned on by the softness of her lips and skilled
tongue-
"I fucking hated it." The fallen look on her face was the last thing she saw before following Ms. Alley through the school.
The walk would have been miserable sober because the older woman wouldn't stop talking. Ashley tuned it all out and said nothing when being asked a question. Her eyes aimlessly wandered around the school but nothing registered in her mind. Everything around her seemed to move faster and she couldn't catch up. She was in slow motion, falling behind, while everyone else moved, lived, and laughed.
A coke machine. They passed three of them and her taste buds yearned for the sugar filled liquid. Unconsciously, she patted all around the jeans Spencer let her borrow, and then remembered the roses, and the little money she had left, gone. She'd have to change that sooner or later. A brief conversation with Glen and she'd be good. The impulse to laugh, it was hilarious how she could think about fucking a stranger for money and not a feel a thing.
A deep frown made its way onto her lips.
She completely stopped walking.
The girl under a thin tree sat cross legged with a sketch pad on her lap. Not too long ago she sat alone, and now, she had company. Spencer sat next to her with a thoughtful look on her face. They gazed into each other's eyes while speaking quietly, or maybe loudly but Ashley was too fucked to hear them. Maybe they were talking about her and how awful she was for kissing another girl even if it meant nothing. "Ms. Davies?"
"What?!" She harshly snapped hearing her name a million times from the same voice. Was being alone with her thoughts too much to ask for? Why did everyone want something from her? "Call my fucking mom." She spat. "I don't give a fuck." That was the worst she could do. Dial her Mommy's number. "I'll even push the buttons for you." Whipping out a black cell phone from her pocket, her thumb pushed three numbers before it was taken away.
She angrily looked up at the principal.
"Ms. Davies we're almost at my office. Please keep yourself under control or I'll have one of the security officers escort you off campus." Her facial expression told her she wasn't playing around. "Do I make myself clear?"
The brunette nodded and was handed her phone back. She began following her again and allowed herself to sink into the klonopin in her system. She felt more relaxed but had trouble keeping her mouth shut. The thoughts racing through her head eager to make themselves known.
The desk with the secretary was oblivious to her, the chaotic ringing of the phone deaf to her ears, she stepped into Ms. Alley's office and took a seat in the chair in front of the large oak desk. She looked all around the familiar room, lingering at the family photos. She had a beautiful family.
"Thank you." She turned her attention to the older woman, taken aback. Did she say that out loud? "Now Ms. Davies," She took a seat at the large desk and wasted no time meeting her gaze. "Before we begin, would you mind removing those glasses from your face, please." She reached up and did what she was told, praying her eyes gave no indication of her current state. "Good. As you know there is a strict smoking policy." The brunette nodded deciding to just smile and nod like she always did. "We also have another policy on PDA, but I'm not going to go over either with you, again. It doesn't seem to be doing any good." She heavily sighed. "Calling your mother isn't working, detentions aren't working, suspensions aren't working- what should be my next step?"
Ashley's frowned deepened, annoyed with the question. They both knew the next step. "Want me to spell it out for you?"
The older woman stood up from the desk and smoothed out her navy blue suit. "I'm not going to expel you." She walked around the desk and stopped beside her chair. Lightly grabbing her chin, she forced her to look up into her face. "I know how someone like you would spend the free time." She released her face and folded her arms across her chest.
"And how does someone like me spend their free time?" She sarcastically inquired already knowing the answer.
"You tell me." She gently shot back. "Christmas break is only a week away, and if I remember correctly," She hesitated before adding, "The date of your father's passing is approaching. How does your family deal with the occasion? Or more importantly, how do you normally spend your time on that day?"
Swallowing a handful of pills with a few vodka shots in the attic where all of my father's belongings carelessly lie collecting dust in the darkness. I wake up the next morning surprised to be alive and then deal with a massive hang over I later kill with more pills. My mother's always a fucking bitch and anything I do wrong she makes sure I pay. I never learn a fucking lesson because it never hurts. I don't feel anything January 2nd and maybe this year I'll get lucky and never have to see it again.
"My mother takes me on vacation and hugs me a lot." She forced a smile. "She makes sure I'm alright." It was her favorite lie to tell people. The lie convincing everyone her mother was the absolute best. She had to be extra convincing to school officials to keep truancy away. They've caught a glimpse of her not so pretty bruises before and she didn't want her dear mother to rot in jail for hitting her. She was the love of her father's life and it was her job to make sure nothing happened to her.
Even if she was the reason she occasional spent more than two hours in the bathroom covering her battered body with makeup.
It was what he wanted. For her to look after Christine whenever he wasn't around.
Even after what she did to him.
"It sounds nice. I wish my family had that luxury after the death of my father." The principal smiled softly. "I know it's hard, and I'm glad you have a strong support group. But I want you to see the school's counselor-"
"Expel me or let me go to class." She harshly demanded standing from her seat. "I'm not seeing a shrink."
"That's fine, Ms. Davies." She simply stated hardening her gaze. "But please at least take some time to think it over. Maybe have a talk with your Mother. It did me a lot of good and maybe-"
"It'd fix me too?" A smug smile shaped her lips. "Look at my body, look at the mansion I live in, look at my car," She paused a moment and then added, "Look at my girlfriend. Everything is perfectly fine. I'm perfect. There's nothing to fix."
Ms. Alley shifted almost uncomfortably in her seat examining the teenager in front of her. "I'm looking into your eyes and I don't like what I see."
"Then I'll put these back on." Her vision became darker as the sunglasses came back on and she opened her arms for dramatic affect. "Problem solved." Dropping her arms, the sarcasm left her face and was replaced with impatience. "Are we finished? The bell just rang and I'm going to be late for my exam."
There was a knock on the door and her eyes moved from the rebellious teen to the head poking through the small slit of the open door.
"I'm sorry, Ms. Alley but there's something we need you to look at right away."
"I'm just about finished here." Ashley heard the door close behind her and felt a sense of relief.
She'd finally be able to leave.
Walking out of the office building, she stopped a few feet away from the door and stared out into the quad, watching the hundreds of moving bodies scramble to get to their classes. The date of your father's passing is approaching, she couldn't get the words off repeat in her head. They moved in fast circles in her mind keeping her frozen. January 2nd was the worst day of her life, and she spent every anniversary far far away to the point where she was no longer herself. She spent the day someone else, someone without senses or memories. Someone who didn't want to see the light of day anymore and would love if darkness forever took her life.
Until the evening came.
Spencer. No matter what, she was always there for her, and a lot of the time they said nothing to each other. The blonde would simply hold her as she lied in her arms, trying her best to feel the loving arms cradling her like a small child. They'd stay that way until she had to leave. And for a goodbye, her friend always placed a gentle kiss on her lips.
"I've been looking all over for you."
"Couldn't wait for lunch?" Without hesitating, she wrapped an arm around the blonde's shoulders and felt one wrap around her waist. The world around them faded and she stopped caring who saw them together and what they thought. Phoenix didn't exist to her. Spencer would always be the blonde little girl she loved growing up. Not the school's celebrity. "I'll walk you to class."
"And here I thought you were embarrassed to be seen with me." She commented with some surprise as they strolled through the school yard, walking a little slower than everyone else.
It was her turn to be surprised. "Am I that easy to read?"
Spencer smiled nodding a little. "I've known you most of our lives." Softening her voice, she added, "You're an open book by now."
Leaning further into the blonde, her temple pressed against her shoulder, she regretted swallowing the two pills. "I'm not embarrassed by you." Being honest was easy when she didn't give a fuck. "I just don't want to fuck up your perfect little world."
"I don't live in a perfect little world." Her voice was low, the words meant for Ashley's ears only.
"My bad." She corrected herself. "I meant, I don't want to fuck up Phoenix's perfect world."
"Ashley I don't care about-"
Ashley stopped, facing Spencer, her hands linked behind the blonde's back, she gazed into her blue eyes. "You don't care?" She murmured slowly dipping her head, her eyes dropping to a soft pair of lips. She looked back up into the frightened gaze of her girlfriend's, Phoenix. There were teachers standing outside of their doors, kids moving all around them, and Spencer cared. "You're an open book, Love." She dropped her hands from the other girl's body and took a couple steps back. "Good luck with your exams," Her eyes lingered on the blue she loved, "Phoenix."
Turning around, she left unaware of the eyes following her.
She strolled through hallway after hallway in a daze.
The tardy bell rang but she didn't hear anything. Her mind was too far gone to really hear anything other than her thoughts.
She finally made it to class and ignored the teacher bitching at her for being late, again. Taking her seat, she stared down at the desk while lightly tapping her fingers against the hard surface.
She stopped fighting the drugs in her system and relaxed, allowing them to take over.
Spencer wasn't around so it was okay.
It was okay to be fucked and it felt good.
She turned her attention to the teacher hearing her voice nearby. The short dark haired woman went on and on about the exams. Ashley half listened not giving much of a damn. Her eyes fell and lingered on her breasts. This was her first year teaching. She was hot. Nice and young, she'd rather do her than the exams. Smirking, she fought back a fit of giggles and dropped her head onto the desk, closing her eyes. She murmured 'fuck' and smiled to herself.
"Ashley..." A strong hand was placed on her shoulder, gently shaking her passed out frame. A moan escaped her parted lips as a masculine voice repeated her name. Opening her eyes felt impossible, they became heavy like lead and she had no desire to wake up but the hand wouldn't leave her body. "Ashley." She finally lifted her head from the desk and opened her eyes, the brightness of the room forcing them to close again. "Mr. Darouce is giving you the evil eye, you might want to wake up now."
Mr. Darouce? She wondered trying to keep her head from falling back down. That was her 3rd hour teacher's name. When did she switch classes twice? Ashley opened her eyes and allowed them to adjust, rubbing the sleep from them, she turned her head to the reason she was awake. Aiden stared into her face lacking his usual annoyed expression. He seemed worried, concerned. She fucking hated it. "Why are you staring at me?"
His face changed and with a sigh, he stood up from his kneeling position and looked away from her. The annoyance came a second later. Painting his features as he waited by her desk. Ashley stood up and began walking, nearly stumbling into another desk. "Need help?" Aiden asked and she shot him a look that screamed 'fuck you.' "I thought you'd be different." She walked outside of the classroom, her head pain free but filled with a thin layer of fog. A reminisce of the klonopin. "I actually had some hope for you."
"And what were you hoping for?" She carelessly inquired as they walked slowly through a crowd of students polluting the hallway.
"That you'd stop poisoning yourself." He snorted. "If not for yourself then for Phoenix."
For the millionth time that year, she found herself hating the person who gave her a class with the tall pain in the ass walking beside her. "For someone who claims to like boys you give our little Phoenix a lot of attention."
"I'm her best friend." He defensively reminded, glaring bullets at the careless teen whose eyes didn't care to meet his. "And who are you? Who the fuck are you?" He asked again when she didn't answer.
"You know who I am. Name starts with an 'A' ends in a 'Y.'"
"That's not what I meant, smart ass." He shook his head and looked away from her in disgust. Everything about the brunette disgusted him. From the 'I don't give a fuck' attitude to the drugs she selfishly used without thinking of anyone else's feelings. She was trash. "I don't understand your intentions with my friend. And what really sucks is, I know what hers are for you. But I don't think they're the same."
His words meant nothing to her and she was done with the conversation. She kept her lips tightly sealed and eyes straight ahead, ignoring his presence completely until the muscular body next to hers disappeared into the crowd of moving bodies. She stepped out of the hallway and ventured further into the quad. Her legs stopped moving and she stood staring at her back. The pills in her system were almost non existent now. A couple more would do the trick, lift her spirits. Alexis would be easy to find. All she had to do was turn around-
Her mind shifted as a familiar girl walked by a few feet in front of her. She followed her tall frame and noticed the way she turned her head in Spencer's direction. Rebound. The word entered her thoughts with such force that she looked away from the guitar player. The magical night she shared with Spencer was becoming a pathetic stunt with smoke and mirrors. Did the cocky attractive rock star break Spenny's heart? And she was there to pick up the pieces, Spencer's back up plan. Someone to take her mind and heart off the girl she really wanted. Whatever. Ashley didn't care.
She was used to being used.
The blonde must have felt her eyes on her, because she turned around flashing her a dazzling smile. An excitement reaching her eyes at the sight of her. Ashley gave in and approached her girlfriend forcing a smile of her own. "I can't tell you how long I've watched the clock hoping it'd move a little faster so I could finally see you."
Why? Ashley sourly thought keeping a good front up. It made sense a second later what Spencer wanted from her. "How does off campus lunch sound?"
"Sounds great." Spencer comfortably walked beside her as they made their way to the parking lot. "What'd you have in mind?"
"There's a deli down the street." She casually answered taking out her keys.
"Hopefully they have something light. I'm still full from breakfast."
"Good." Ashley replied under her breath opening the driver side door. She waited for Spencer to close the door before turning the car on and backing out. They drove through the parking lot in a comfortable silence, putting the right blinker on, she drove off campus and headed down the main road.
"How was the exam?" Spencer asked turning her head to look at her.
The brunette couldn't recall picking up a pencil much less reading through a booklet and answering questions. She wasn't even sure she was given a test. Her teacher was a bitch, just the type to skip her and let her fail. "Nothing to lose sleep over." She simply answered. "How was it for you?"
"The questions were the same as the study guide. Word for word. I think I did good."
Ashley couldn't stop the little smile curving her lips. Spencer was always good in school, but for some reason, when it came to test grades she was unsure. Even as a little girl, she would anxiously wait to get her paper back to see what she scored. The results were always the same."You scored highest in the class."
"And what makes you so sure?"
Turning the wheel, she pulled into the Deli's parking lot. "I've known you all our school life and that's what you always make on a test. Highest in the class." Funny how the title could easily suit her for an entirely different reason. She stopped and turned off the car, turning her head. The blonde seemed puzzled examining the building. Ashley openly stared at her, studying her, finding the tilt of her blonde head as her brows drew together in confusion absolutely adorable. Spencer faced her and she delve deep into the depth of her clear blue eyes. Alexis could never compare to the beautiful girl sitting beside her. "They're out of business."
You don't have to buy me lunch to get fucked. She couldn't help but think gazing into her pretty face. I'm easy. "I know." She reached over and ran her fingertips down the side of her face, tracing her jaw. "I'm still full from breakfast." Spencer leaned into her touch convincing her they both wanted the same thing.
Proving Ashley's thoughts right.
The air around them changed like her eyes darkening with desire. She leaned in closer to Spencer drawn in by angst and sexual hunger. Rebound. The word entered her mind as their lips touched. Closing her eyes, she kissed the blonde with a strange mixture of anger, love, and lust. It wasn't sweet and simple, but hard and full of passion. With a moan, the blonde's fingers caressed her wild curls as she teased her tongue, Ashley began to wonder if it was her kissing Spencer or if she was imagining someone else's tongue in her mouth.
Breaking the kiss, she trailed her lips down her delicious throat placing her palm firmly against the crotch of her jeans. She whispered hotly into her ear rubbing against her wetness, making the blonde squirm and sigh. "Don't cum, yet." She nipped at her earlobe, "I want to feel you, warm and wet around my fingers." Her lips went back to her neck, and she sucked, kissed, and nipped the sensitive flesh while her fingers unbutton and unzipped her jeans.
She kept her lips pressed against the pulse point in her neck, feeling the erratic beating of her heart as she slipped her hand underneath the waistband of her panties. "Ashley," Spencer hissed arching against the leather seat as her fingers glided into her wetness. Her thighs parted for her, and her hips rose to deepen the contact between her hand and her erection. The brunette closed her eyes and sucked her neck harder, feeling one hand tangle in her hair while the other covered a fresh dark hickey staining her shoulder, clutching almost painfully to her.
"Ash...please..." Her voice was strangled and laced with a moan as she reached down, pulling her pants and underwear down her quivering thighs. The blonde settled back against the leather seat, her head falling back with a moan, her eyes tightly closing, she wrapped her arms around Ashley, and in return the brunette buried her free hand in blonde hair, cupping the back of her head as she teased her slick folds.
Her forehead fell onto the blonde's temple and she nipped at the skin closest to her mouth. "No need to beg," She murmured against her skin. "You'll come." It was her profession. What she did best. Get people off, sometimes inside her, sometimes on her, the fluid sometimes making her gag, sick to the point where, she couldn't stand to look in a mirror. They became her enemy. And then she'd feel the guys pull out of her and move from on top of her, putting their clothes on, sometimes she'd curl up into a ball, other times, when she didn't give much of a damn, she'd reach over for more drugs and take whatever amount was necessary for her to just pass out.
Soft lips gently pecked hers, her first impulse was to turn her head away, screaming stop. But she came back to reality, and allowed the lips to gently tease her like she was teasing Spencer. She stopped thinking and kissed her back, more passionately, swallowing her moans as their tongues danced. She felt a hand move to her breast and grabbed her wrist, pulling it away. She linked their hands together as she entered the blonde with a single finger, deciding she wasn't distracted enough.
The blonde panted heavily against her lips as she glided in and out of her, the warm walls pulsating around her touch. Ashley teased her clit with her thumb and felt the hand she held tighten, squeezing her hand to the brink of pain. Her eyes opened and she watched the blonde's face as she fucked her, adding another figure. A deep groan escaped her as her hips moved to meet each thrust. The brunette loved watching her like this. Her face painted in bliss, flushed with desire, moaning and sighing. "I love..." The words spilled from her lips, but she didn't want to say it. "How you feel around me."
"I love having you in me." The blonde deeply groaned riding her fingers as her head fell back onto the head rest. Her panting filled the air around them as Ashley plunged faster in and out of her, using her thumb to tease her hardened bud. She dipped her head and feasted on her throat, sucking and kissing the sensitive skin as she took the blonde higher and higher, wanting her fall into an orgasm to be a long pleasurable one.
The blonde moved frantically against her rhythm, Ashley pressing her lips to her pulse point, she suckled the skin there feeling her girlfriend's back arch. She stayed frozen like that as the walls around her fingers strongly convulsed, drowning her hand in her girlfriend's desire.
Spencer fell back onto the leather seat, her arms wrapped tightly around Ashley as she continued quivering all over. The brunette kissed her neck a final time as the blonde whimpered feeling her fingers leave her wetness. Ashley stared down, watching her hands get the recovering blonde decent. She pulled up her pants and underwear, buttoning her jeans and pulling up the zipper.
Without looking at the blonde, she moved back into the driver's seat and turned the key in the ignition. The Porsche came roaring to life and for a moment, she sat staring out the windshield listening to Spencer's breathing, a blank expression on her face. A hand was placed on her forearm "Are you okay?" The blonde softly asked beside her.
"Yeah." She put the car in reverse and backed out of the parking space.
Why wouldn't she be?