Betrayal

Disclaimer: I don't own no matter how much I wish I did.

Note: A very special thanks to Giar369, who has been helping me with another fic. This is your reward. Also thanks to Lynbie for her pm.

Chapter 13

Buffy was tired and the only thing she felt like doing was going to sleep for a couple of hours. She had her baby shower earlier that day, and thankfully almost all of the guests had left already. Only Dawn remained as she had insisted on cooking her dinner. Buffy wasn't about to refuse the offer of a well cooked meal. Her sister had a reputation for being an inventive cook, but all her years of experimenting meant that she had accidently discovered some amazing culinary secrets. Dawn had shooed her from the kitchen and insisted she stay off her feet for a while. Eventually, Buffy got to the point where she needed to move before she drifted off to sleep. She got up slowly and caught her reflection on the mirror over the fireplace. She wondered was she really looking at herself. She couldn't believe how fast time was passing by. She was six months gone already, and her baby bump was getting larger every day. Her ankles hurt and her back ached. She could see the dark circles under her eyes due to the interrupted sleep she was getting. It may her wonder for the umpteenth time why people said that pregnant women glowed. She was so lost in thought she didn't notice her sister coming up behind her.

Dawn put her hand on her shoulder. "Dinner's ready, Buffy."

Buffy turned around. "You're the best sister."

She snorted in response. "I'm your only sister."

Buffy laughed. "Well, you're wonderful, when you're not being the pain in the ass."

"Thanks – I think."

Buffy looked at her sister with a serious expression. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"I was thinking about calling Dad."

Dawn looked surprised. Buffy could understand why considering she hadn't talked to her dad since shortly after their mother died. Furious at his behaviour, she had avoided the few phone calls he had deigned to make, when he had eventually heard about his ex-wife's death. Her sister on the other hand had kept in touch even though it was rare. However, since the birth of Dawn's children, she seemed to be in more frequent contact, and he always sent the kids' presents at Christmas and their birthdays, even if they had only met him once or twice.

"I think this baby should know its grand dad, even if he's a selfish ass."

Dawn nodded in understanding. "I get it."

"Can you give me his phone number? I seem to have lost it."

"Of course," she said, and took her by the arm. "First let's eat."

Later that night after Dawn had left, Buffy tried to pluck up the courage to phone her father. She dialled the number and held her breath as she waited for him to answer the phone. The phone rang twice before she lost her nerve and replaced the receiver. What am I doing? Am I really ready to forgive him for abandoning us when we needed him the most? The answer was yes. All she had ever wanted from her dad was his love. That was plentiful when her parents were together, but once they split up he drifted away from her seeming more and more invested in his new life and secretary than his daughters. They were inconvenient then when they were so far away and didn't blend in seamlessly with his new life. She wanted to make a serious effort now to reconcile seeing as she had a baby on the way and every child deserves a doting grandparent even if he was a deadbeat father. From what Dawn said he was a better grandfather than he was father. It took her a long time to learn to trust men after all the issues she had with her father and Angel in the past. Between them she had lost all her confidence in men and for a long time she kept herself closed off from relationships. She had another person to think about now. She was determined that her baby wouldn't suffer like she did. She wanted the very best for the little person inside her. She picked up the phone again and dialled the phone number. After the phone rang four times a bright and breezy feminine voice answered. "Hello. This is the Summers' residence."

"Hi, I'm looking to speak with Hank Summers."

"He's not here at the moment. He went away on vacation for a week. I can pass on a message though."

"Um never mind. Just tell him his daughter Buffy called. I can call back next week."

"It's nice to finally speak with you, Buffy. I'm your father's housekeeper. My name's Missy. I'll be sure to let him know."

"Thanks," Buffy mumbled before hanging up. She was disappointed. Yet a part of her was also relieved. She would leave it a couple of days and call back.

The following day, Buffy stood outside the block of apartments Spike lived in. After her conversation the night before with Dawn, she had begun thinking on how her separation with Spike was impacting on her sister and her two kids. All three of them were terribly fond of the vampire and things were unbelievably awkward, whenever she and Spike were in the same room. She knew that they were over and they couldn't be friends. She wanted for them to be able to be civil at least, and she needed him to know how sorry she was for what she had put him through. It would be easier if he would roar and yell at her. Maybe she didn't have the right to demand anything of him, but she really needed to talk this out. However, they never had been good at the talking. A girl had to try though. Spike was still doing his best to avoid her whenever their paths crossed, and Giles had taken her aside and explained that Angel had best stay away from the Watcher's Council building. Her former Watcher had warned her Spike was feeling pretty vengeful at the moment. Angel was settling in happily into human life working as a detective, mainly taking on normal cases, so this wasn't really an issue. Buffy had been surprised when she heard Spike had actually agreed to take over her lessons with the slayers. He had always been reluctant to be hired by the Council directly in the past and he had only worked freelance for them. Dawn had as good as told her that she had made the suggestion to Giles and he had put to the vampire, who had accepted. She thought it was a great idea and he would be able to give her girls the benefit of first-hand knowledge of a vampire that they wouldn't otherwise get. Her musing was interrupted by a passer-by. A little old lady looked at her concernedly. "Are you quite alright, dear?"

Buffy couldn't help the incredulous stare. "Sorry," she mumbled, when she recovered. "I'm fine – just trying to work up the courage to go and see someone."

The sweet old lady smiled knowingly. "Best of luck."

As if she could possibly suspect what was going on here. Buffy answered with a fake, big smile and the woman wandering off satisfied. The slayer found her gaze landing on the old apartment building once more and she sighed. You can do this. She breathed deeply in an effort to calm herself. It didn't work and her heart continued to thud in her chest. She didn't know if she was doing the right thing, however, at this point there was nothing to lose. She didn't want to ring the buzzer for the apartment because he would likely tell her to fuck off. Once she got in the door and outside his apartment she would have a better chance; getting in would be the problem. She waited several minutes hoping someone would come out and let her in. She was about the buzz a random apartment when a handsome dark haired man opened the door. He held the door open for her and she walked inside.

She smiled appreciatively. "Thank you."

He nodded. "New here?"

"Yeah," she lied. "I lost my keys."

He beamed at her as he headed out the door. "I'm sure I'll see you around."

She watched him go and then took the lift down to the basement. The place looked nice even though the interior looked like it had been designed about forty years ago. She walked through the basement corridor checking the numbers on the doors. She found number 7 quickly and rapped loudly on the door. Spike opened the door after just one knock and tried to shut the door when he realised who it was. She put her foot in the door to prevent him from closing it. "Please can I come in?"

He sighed in defeat and moved away from the door way to allow her inside. "What do you want?"

Buffy walked inside and looked everywhere except at him. She gulped nervously wringing her hands. "Before you say anything, let me just say I'm not looking for forgiveness."

He raised an eyebrow sceptically. "What are you here for then?"

She decided honesty was for the best. "Spike, I want to talk. You keep being all avoidy and glowery. I understand that you're angry with me and I completely deserve it. I just want you to have it out with me – to yell and to shout. We both love Dawnie and the kids, and it would be better if we could be civilized about this. If we could just have it out, then maybe we could move past the anger and manage to be the same room without all the badness."

He laughed harshly. "For once you've got me flummoxed Summers. You're here for make-up sex? Is that it?" He ran his tongue across his teeth, as she watched him dumbstuck by his nasty words. "Or do you think you'll get me all hot and bothered if we get angry enough?"

She opened her mouth to protest.

He held his hand up to stop her. "Quit the martyr bit, love. You're here so you can feel better about being such a bitch and I'm not biting."

She found her voice at last. "I don't expect that you will forgive me, Spike." She breathed deeply in an effort to keep her tone even despite the anger coursing through her veins. "I won't deny that I wish you could, but I just want you to know how sorry I am that I hurt you. I want to apologise to you properly. You deserve that at least and I really meant what I said about us calling a truce for Dawn's benefit."

His tone was icy cold. "Are you done?"

"Yes, I am," she said sadly. She kept her head held high determined to avoid any emotional outbursts. He was so angry and so bitter. She had done this to him. Even way back when they had been enemies and he hated her, he never looked at her as he did now. She walked slowly to the door. She was reluctant to leave things as they were, but she knew there was nothing she could say or do would make him change his mind. He was completely within his right to withhold forgiveness and even civility. Yet, it still smarted. She was human after all. "I'm sorry," she said softly, as she closed the door behind her.

A few days had passed since Buffy's encounter with Spike. She had her hand twisted into going out. She was wearing her prettiest maternity clothes and her makeup. She felt fat and frumpy and not the least sexy, so it took a lot of cajoling to persuade her to agree to go out. As she walked into the bar, she thought about how nice it was to be going out with just Xander and Willow. It was like Sunnydale again. Buffy and Willow sat down at a table, while Xander went to get them drinks. She looked around the dance floor at the couples writhing to the music. She stopped short at the sight of a peroxide blonde haired man and a brunette kissing passionately. Is that Spike? Oh my god it's him. She put her hand to her mouth. Her heart thudded painfully. She got a proper look at the couple as they separated to give the woman a breather. Faith! Buffy stood up suddenly knocking her stool.

She could vaguely hear Willow's concerned voice. "Buffy, are you okay?"

She ran from the bar blinded by her tears. She stopped in the alley way outside and leaned against the wall. She knew logically seeing as they weren't together any more that there would come a time when he would move on. Still, it didn't make it any easier and the fact that it was Faith hurt her more than she could have imagined. A breathless Willow and Xander came running out of the bar.

Willow pulled her into her arms. "Oh Buffy."

Buffy cried harder. "They were practically fucking each other right there on the dance floor."

Her friend rubbed circles into her back. "That slut and that insensitive jerk."

Buffy pulled away with the sickening realization that she had hurt Spike in the same way. "Don't Will. Just don't. I've no right to be jealous, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I mean why her. Why Faith? Of all people he could have hooked up with he had to choose the one that would hurt me the most."

"Oh Buffy." The red head looked sympathetically at her.

Xander joined in the hug. "But surely you knew it was only time before Spike moved on? Now you're not together anymore, he's a free agent. They're both free agents. Maybe it's time that you did too."

Buffy didn't think she could move on. All she could think about right now was how much it hurt to see the man she was still in love with making out with that skanky whore.

"Come on, Buffster. Let's take you home."

She allowed herself to be led to Xander's car. For the first time she was truly convinced that their relationship was over.

To be continued…

Now I must say I can't wait to find out what you guys think of this chapter. Please let me know.