Randumbness

A/N: So I was listening to dance music on the SIRIUS satellite channel on my TV, when I said to myself, "The Black Fang really deserve a part, after all they did to try and bring about Armeggedon." So, pondering, I slept on it (laziness, I tells ya), and, just this morning, when I groggily awoke, I thought, The Black Fang go to Hot Topic.

That... made me laugh a bit. Seriously- the image of Nergal, Ephidel, Sonia, and Limstella waltzing through such an establishment... Makes me giggle immaturely for some reason. Notice, however, that most of these chapters, although I am slightly trying to stick to the whole 'medeival' thing, are historically inaccurate. Electric ovens didn't exist until the very early '50s. A-1 Steak Sauce didn't exist until sometime last century. Hot Topic... well, I've never been to one, so I wouldn't know. Sugar has always been around, but the earliest signs of it were in Ancient Egypt.

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Part XIII : The Black Fang go to Hot Topic

Four figures dressed entirely in black cloaks (or generally anything black to begin with) seemed to float into the store, which was filled with racks and racks of colorful and very un-subtly-suggestive commented clothing. Of course, only two of the figures were wearing anything that covered their feet, so the other two- one of which had a cut-skirt, the other of which had tight-white pants- just sort of... walked with a gliding gait.

"All right," croaked the first one, who had a turban around his right eye, holding an arm out to stop the other three from walking. "Do you all know why we're here?"

"To get more colorful and noticible clothing," recited the ones in a cloak and tight-white pants, both in monotones, with annoyed looks to boot.

"Good," sneered Nergal, cackling menacingly. Several other people- mostly young women- looked up from their shopping to stare at them oddly. The man then cleared his throat. "Right, well... Limstella, Ephidel, you two go find something worthy of the Black Fang's glory. Sonia, help me find something worthy of the Black Fang's glory."

"Yes, your Evil Greatness," sighed Limstella and Ephidel, starting to drag their feet. Nergal yelled, "HURRY UP!", making them both skitter off instead of slowly and gravely drag their feet. I mean, the NERVE of some people, not doing what their boss says!

"My Lord and Master Nergal, why are we here, of all places?" asked Sonia, very confused. "This crap-hole has absolutely nothing I see that is worthy of the Black... My Lord and Master Nergal, what the heck are you holding?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Nergal was holding a tiny shirt that said 'Skank-a-Roo' in bright silver glitter. He dropped it after Sonia noticed the fact that he was holding something so grotesque. "Erm... Don't you think it would look great on those kamikaze children we've been setting up? Yes, yes I think it would, wouldn't you?"

"We don't... have... kamikaze children, Nergal," replied Sonia, her eyebrows raised. She then looked in deep thought. "Well, I suppose that incompetant Nino could have been considered somewhat of a kamikaze child, since we did send her off on that mission to kill Zephiel with Jaffar, but she just screwed that one up so bad that she decided to join the opposition... Darn kids these days, always so freaking rebellious..."

"Yes, that is... get down!" he suddenly hissed, pulling her by the arm behind a rack of shorts with 'Hottie' on the backs.

"What is it?" asked Sonia, peering over the top of the rack, only to see Lyn and Florina walk in. She cocked an eyebrow again. "So? It's just two of those losers we hate."

"No- those are one of the losers we hate and her girlfriend," whispered Nergal, having actually played the game, beaten Lyn's story, and saw the very gay moment which I mentioned in Part II. But don't read that, we've already come so far...

"What's your point?"

"Well, see... I sort of made her crazy in this author's other fanfiction, Nomads United, so she might still hold a slight grudge."

"But she doesn't even remember that- hell, the author doesn't remember that."

"...Really? Shoot, she has a very short attention span, doesn't she?" Nergal looked confused.

"Yes, she does."

"But, anywell," said Nergal, standing up straight, "I shall make sure whatever we get strikes fear into those who still have spasms at the mention or hinting at of the BLACK FANG!"

"Oh, please, I've heard worse," scoffed the author, only to be booted out of the story because well, frankly, she just doesn't belong here.

"No offense, Lord Nergal, but the Death Eaters from Harry Potter a bit more creepy than us," sighed Sonia. "They're all horribly ugly people- look at us, we're like the cast from Days of our Lives, General Hospital, and All My Children. We're beautiful- well, I am, anyway."

Limstella and Ephidel, who were both carrying several shirts and shorts in their arms, came up behind them.

"Master Nergal, we found some outfits you might like..." muttered Limstella, somewhat more of a peachy-color than normal, what with most of the Black Fang being as white as the Sins from Fullmetal Alchemist. She immediately pulled out a shirt that said "I am the Devil Incarnate- PH34R M3!", and a pair of shorts with Satan on the left leg.

"Oooh, how terribly evil!" squealed Nergal, clapping his bony hands together in glee. Oh, jeebs... I doubt he's been gleeful in a few thousand years.

So they paid for their clothing, and left the store, only to disappear in big billows of black and/or slightly violet-colored smoke.

Lyn and Florina stared after them. "What was all that about?" asked Florina, looking sort of confused.

"Dunno," replied Lyn, shrugging. "But those Death Eaters from that Harry Potter series- which, for some reason beyond my knowledge I am telling you about, are from a children's book- are scarier."

"I agree."

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Yup. That idea I got from this webcomic called 'My Stupid Pathetic Webcomic' (which is hilarious- go check it out on drunkduck . com, without them spaces), where all these poorly-drawn characters were wearing the same thing, which were the same shirt and sunglasses, and this one guy was standing there with a bright blue shirt amongst the black, and he said, "Que?"

You also must notice that I like Fullmetal Alchemist. I have two fanfics up ('That's What Happens When You Don't Pay Your Bills', and its sequel, 'I Know What You Bought Last Summer', both with ridiculously long titles), so, despite all shameless selling out, go check them out too! They're really stupid, but will make slight sense to you... probably not, but ignore that fact!