If You Were Gay

Disclaimer: I only own Sapphire, Smoke, Yageo, Tama, Ishida, the names of Eiji's family, the Eiji devils, Eiji angels, the co-op attacks between the Guardians, Leo, Glacia, Nemi, Frank, Wei-Ko, Rotor (Aria), Hanako, Shugo, Miyabi, Akashi, and Death. I also own some of the plot of the story if you know what I mean. Anime, mangas, and games that are in this story that I do not own are Prince of Tennis, Yu Gi Oh GX, Chrono Crusade, Negima, Full Moon Wo Sagashite, Gravitation, Mermaid Melody, Marchen Awakens Romance, Skip Beat, Ultra Maniac, Dark Stalkers, Sakura Wars and Super Smash Brothers Brawl.

Me: Okay, in this chapter Judai and Jun will be singing the song If you Were Gay by Avenue Q. One of the overused songs in the world.

Yohko: Yeah…Jun is going to be Rod, and Judai is going to be Nicky. Enjoy the chapter and MAKE SURE to listen to the If you Were Gay song when reading this.

Chapter 13: If you Were Gay

Azmaria's POV

Another beautiful afternoon at practice. Everything was going swell. No arguments, no injuries, no anything that would hurt someone. Jun, Judai, Kaede, and her Shinigami were getting things prepared for the comedy song that was going to be on TV as well as live. Lovely.

Eiji explained to me why Tezuka-buchou knows about me. It was because of idiot Izumi that we got the captain in on magic too. At least Tezuka-buchou knows why Eiji skips practice every now and then. I was however upset about the fact that Smoke attacked him when I wasn't around. Now I have to stay with Eiji at all times to make sure that it doesn't happen again. I blame Takuto for not being with Eiji!

Just when I thought it was going to be peaceful…

"HEY SHUSUKE! I GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU!"

That was Kaede. A door appeared out of nowhere from the sky and landed on top of Horio. Poor kid.

"LIKE THE DOOR I MADE SHUSUKE?!"

"Kaede…" Fuji began, "Why do you have a door, and why are you so loud?"

"Because I was told to make the door, and that I'm trying to act in character of the guy I'm playing," Kaede answered with a smile.

"That's a good thing. The door looks well done too. Now can you please remove the door from that spot. I think you squished one of the freshmen with it."

Kaede looked to see the first year under the door, "Sorry, Horio-bozu. I'll move the door now and be on my way!"

She lifted the door up and as quick as a flash she was gone.

"Horio-kun, are you okay?" Kachiro asked him.

"I don't think so…" Horio managed to breathe out.

Eiji and Sapphire giggled.

"I can't wait to see what those guys are going to do," Sapphire stated.

"I know. Jun's probably going to be embarrassed for life." Eiji murmured.

The captain appears behind the two. "This is no time to chat. Ten laps for slacking off."

"WHAT?! YOU SUCK!" the two of them shouted in English as they began running laps.

"It seems that Fuji-sempai escapes the lap thing again…" Ryoma mumbled.

After practice…

"I'm home…" Eiji called out.

The only person home was Eiji's sister Yuri. She was with another girl with long black hair and beautiful purple eyes.

"Oh, you brought your friend over tonight," Eiji mumbled, "who is she anyway? I haven't seen her around before."

The girl got up from the couch and bowed down before she introduced herself, "Hello, I am Sakoshita Tomoyo. I just moved here from Kyoto, and Yuri and I have become best friends. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"I'm Kikumaru Eiji, nya. Pleased to meet you too."

Tomoyo turned toward the pink haired girl and said, "He really is cute as you described him."

"Yeah…too bad he's a devil child," Yuri said in an annoyed tone.

"HEY!"

I giggled. I thought Eiji was the cat boy, not the devil child.

"Anyway, I wanted to see that picture of that hot guy I saw on TV last week," Tomoyo continued.

"That boy is a friend of my little brother's." Yuri turned toward Eiji and asked, "Eiji, who is the boy with the brown hair and chocolate colored eyes?"

"Yuki Judai."

Tomoyo squealed as Eiji and I sweatdrop. I guess she is a fan of Judai too.

"How about the hot chick with the big breasts?" Tomoyo questioned.

"Nagase, Kaede…" Eiji's voice trailed off when he heard her call Kaede a 'hot chick.' That's not right.

There was a long pause before Tomoyo realized what she said and covered her mouth to prevent herself from saying anymore. Eiji glared at his older sister who had a very terrified look on her face.

"Umm…excuse me for a second Tomoyo. I have to discuss something very important to my little brother," Yuri told her friend. With that she grabbed Eiji's arm and forced him upstairs into his room. I followed them to see what's up.

Yuri locked Eiji's door to prevent him from escaping.

"Okay, sis, what are you hiding? That comment about Kaede was NOT normal. Only a lesbian would call her hot unless…" Eiji's voice trailed off.

"Don't tell mother and father or anyone!" Yuri shouted.

"How come?!"

"Because…"

"Explain from the beginning."

"Eiji, the truth is that Tomoyo and I have known each other for six years. I hid the fact that we were friends…well…more than friends. To put it to you this way Eiji, I'm a lesbian, and I'm in love with Tomoyo and she is in love with me, and we've been dating for four years," Yuri explained.

"Then why didn't you tell us?!" Eiji questioned slightly irritated.

"You know our family policy! If father finds out that I like girls then he'll throw a tantrum, and then try to kill me!"

"No. He would probably just kick you out of the house."

"…Why aren't you shocked that I'm a lesbian?"

"Your name means girl love, so I figured that you were a lesbian."

"Jerk. Just don't tell anyone about me and Tomoyo dating, okay?"

"I won't, I won't! Just do your thing with her. It's not that I care. Just tell her that Kaede already has a boyfriend, and I'll be fine."

"Okay, I will. Thanks for understanding me."

With that Yuri left the room. I turned to see Eiji's expression and it wasn't a happy expression.

"Eiji, are you upset that your sister loves another girl?" I asked him.

"No…I'm upset about what happens if father found out..." Eiji didn't say anything after that. I understood where he was getting at. He was in love with his double partner Oishi, but wouldn't admit it. If he did then he would be in a bad relationship with his father. Once he finds out that he is in love with Oishi, and confess his feelings for him which Oishi will definitely return his feelings, what's going to happen after that? Poor Eiji…

"Eiji…"

"It's okay, nya! I just won't fall on love with another man. I'll stick with girls like Sapphire!" Eiji told me trying to lighten the mood. Sadly, he could never fall in love with Sapphire especially when he told me that Tezuka-buchou might have a crush on her.

"Eiji, I think-" I was cut off.

"Come on Az, nya! We got to get ready to go!" he told me.

I sighed. When will he ever learn to accept the fact that he is gay?

When we got to Tokyo Dome it was the same thing as the last time. The Regulars and Sapphire were let in first when Sapphire showed the guy her pass that Mitsuki (or rather Tama) made.

We sat ourselves in the same spot as last time. Yageo did the introduction again only this time he said that only four teams shall past, but added that this would be on TV like it was last time which he forgot to mention to the audience and participates because he didn't want them to feel nervous. Suspicious. The judges were sitting in the same spot again, but I thought that I saw the guy with the black hair eyeing Eiji again. I really think it was just me.

The comedy songs began and sure enough most of them sucked in my opinion but there was a song called Ugly Girl which was making fun of the Barbie Girl song. Eiji, Momo, Sapphire and I were laughing at that song. If Judai's song was going to be first then that song would be second best.

"The final contestant is none other than Mitsuki's group. The song they will be performing is called If you Were Gay. Begin!"

The song didn't begin right away because Kaede was still putting all the materials in the right place at lighting speed. That might take points away from them from the judges, but heck! If the song was funny then who cares!

Jun appears from the stage and sits down on the chair that was on the list. He opens his book that I saw him reading the night before the Yamabuki match.

"Ah, an afternoon alone with my favorite book. "Broadway Musicals of the 1940s." No roommate to bother me. How could it get any better than this?"

The audience were giggling a little but Eiji just sighed already bored.

"He always reads that book…" he mumbled to himself.

"Eiji, be quiet," his partner told him.

Suddenly, Judai comes barging in from the door Kaede showed us this morning. It fell over when he opened it which made the audience giggle a little more because of the brunette's clumsiness.

"OH, HI ROD!"

"Hi. Nicky," Jun said as he didn't dare to look up from his book. The crowd then knew that this is the name of the two characters the guys would be using.

"Hey Rod, you'll never guess what happened to me on the subway this morning. This guy was smiling at me and talking to me…"

As Judai began speaking a guy (Kaede using her transformation Jutsu) was behind Judai waving at the audience holding up a sign that said, I am the guy he is talking about. The audience laughed.

"That's very interesting," said Jun unfazed by the fact that the brunette was getting somewhere.

"He was being real friendly, and I think he was coming on to me. I think he might've thought that I was gay!"

Jun looks up from his book and asks, "Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care. What did you have for lunch today?" Not even bothering waiting for an answer, the raven haired teen went back to his book.

"Oh, you don't have to get all defensive about it, Rod…" Judai was cut off by Jun.

"I'M NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE!" Jun shouted out all so suddenly to scare the shit out of Judai and Kaede who was just standing there. The crowd laughs as Momo and Sapphire snicker. Jun continued, "Why do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I'm trying to READ!"

Jun then makes all these weird noises to scare Judai even more before laughing out loud and going back to his book. As Mitsuki comes out of nowhere to hold up a sign that said REJECTED! She then drags Kaede off the stage. The audience laugh at this too.

"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about."

Jun slams the book and glares at Judai, "I don't want to talk about it, Nicky! This conversation is over!!!!"

"Yeah, but Rod…" Judai was cut off again.

"OVER!!!!" Jun spat as the crowd laugh again. He went back to his book as the music starts playing in the background.

"This seems really bad now…" Ryoma mumbled.

"Shut up, or I'll make you eat my food!"

Ryoma gulped as Eiji, Oishi, Tezuka-buchou and I sweatdropped (if Tezuka-buchou can even do that).

Judai sighed, "Well okay, but just so you know-

If you were gay

That would be okay.

I mean 'cause, hey! Hah

I'd like you anyway!"

Jun groans at the song as he try to move away from Judai which made the crowd laugh again.

"Because you see,

If it were me,

I would feel free

To say that I was gay!

(BUT I'M NOT GAY!)" Judai sang. The last line was a thought speak, so Jun wouldn't hear it, but the audience were supposed to hear it and when they did, they busted out laughing.

Jun closed his book and turned to Judai with a dumbfounded look that turned serious, "Nicky, please! I am trying to READ!"

Jun shoved the book in his face hoping to get some reaction from the brunette. There was a slight reaction when Jun pulled the book away from him. He went back to reading his book. The brunette played with his fingers waiting for his friend to finish reading. They were like that for at least a minute which got the crowd laughing again. Jun slowly tuned his head toward Judai and asked, "WHAT?!"

"If you were queer…" Judai began again.

"Ah, Nicky!" Jun said with a growl as he turned away from him again to read as the audience and Taka laughed again.

"I'd still be here…"

"Nicky, I'm trying to read this book," Jun said calmly but was ignored.

"Year after year…"

"NICKY!"

Judai then shuffles in his pocket to take out the box with the engagement ring in it. He held it up to Jun and opened it revealing a ring, "Because you're dear to me!"

"Argh!" Jun was horrified as he moved to the right side of the stage. The crowd now was either stunned or laughing their asses off. Kaidoh hissed as Oishi and Eiji blushed. Who knew Judai was going to use that ring for that line. That was pretty good though.

"And I know that you…"

"What?!"

"Would accept me too,"

"I would?"

"If I told you today, "Hey! Guess what, I'm gay!" (But I'm not gay!)"

The audience laughed. Ryoma seemed to change his mind about the song being so boring. Fuji was impressed and was secretly filming the song which seemed more like a play. Inui was taking notes to get back at the two Duelists later.

"I'm happy just being with you."

Jun moved to the left side of the stage and said, "I would choose Pal Joey."

Takuto then comes out of nowhere wearing a sign around him that said, I'm Pal Joey. I'm totally handsome. The spectators laughed as the fan girls cheered because Takuto WAS hot, but laughed louder (with the fan girls calming down) when Tama came up behind him and hit him with her mallet and dragged him off the stage.

"So what should it matter to me…" Judai began as he shuffled in his pocket again and took out the picture. Oh no…it was a picture of Jun sleeping with Eiji. However only the magic users could tell that the picture was edited to make it look like Jun was sleeping with Eiji on a bed when in reality they were sleeping on the grass and Jun wasn't THAT close to Eiji, "What you do in bed with guys?"

"NICKY THAT IS GROSS!" Jun shouted.

"NO IT'S NOT!"

"YOU BASTARD!" Eiji added as he was about to get out of his seat and beat the crap out of Judai when Ryoma, Oishi and I pulled him down.

"Fan girls are here Eiji, don't want them to turn your attention to you," I told him. He calmed down when I said that.

Oishi took off the sweater he was wearing and threw it on top of Eiji.

"Don't want people seeing you now after that picture," Oishi whispered in his ear.

Eiji blushed madly as he hid it under the sweater. Judai who was eyeing Eiji sweatdropped before continuing with the song. He danced to the front of the stage and…

"If you were gay…"

Jun grumbled in disgust.

"I'd shout hooray!"

The viewers began clapping and laughing at the same time.

"I AM NOT LISTENING!" Jun yelled.

"And here I stay," Judai was cut off fast.

"LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!"

"But I wouldn't get in your way!" Judai told him as he moved the book down, so Jun could see his face.

"AAAAH!" Jun screamed as he scrambled to the right side of the stage.

Judai follows the raven haired teen to the other side.

"You can count on me to always be

Beside you everyday,

To tell you it's okay,

You were just born that way,

And as they say,

It's in your DNA,

YOU'RE GAY!" Judai sings to him which freaked him out then the brunette intended to.

"I AM NOT GAY!" Jun screams.

"If you were gay…" Judai begins again.

"ARGH!" Jun screams as he hits his head on the page he was reading which ended the song.

Everyone was clapping except Eiji who had just been humiliated worldwide. It was now time for the judges to give their judgment about the song.

"Very funny song. Making me laugh on all occasions. Five stars!" the young man announced.

"The equipment made the song even more realistic. You also sang the song with so much emotion. I would give that song an A+," the young women judge declared.

"I could have never thought of a better song. That picture was nice too," the young man with the black hair told them.

Now I was certain there was something wrong with that third judge. His message was either directed to Jun or Eiji. If it was directed to Jun then he was being a wise crack, but if he was directing it to Eiji then I smell big trouble.

"We will have the votes in fifteen minutes. Choose wisely!" Yageo announced as the curtains closed.

"I am so going to murder Izumi, and Judai when this is all over…" Eiji mumbled in a dangerous tone.

"Oh boy…he sure is holding a big grudge," Fuji said with a laugh.

"Is Eiji really going to murder Judai? And who is Izumi?" Momo asked.

"There is a thirty percent chance of Eiji actually murdering Judai. As for Izumi, there is no data on him, so I cannot say for sure." Inui told them.

"Mada mada dane…" Ryoma chanted.

The votes were tallied again as I voted for Judai and Jun. They finished tallying the results and sure enough Judai, Jun, Kaede, and Mitsuki were in first place again with the Ugly Girl song in second and then two other random songs.

"And those are the results people! The final round will revolve around every member singing with all of their heart. Anyone failed to meet that requirement will not become the best singer in Tokyo. Only one will win in the final round. It will be another week before the final round begins, so contestants prepare for the final moment. Ladies and gentlemen, think on who you want to vote for. We will see you then!" Yageo explained to the audience.

With that the audience started leaving their seats to get out of Tokyo Dome. Again I thought I saw Yageo and the black haired judge eye Eiji, but it must have been my imagination since it was too dark for me to see.

Everything was suppose to be okay, but…

"HEY IT'S THE SEIGAKU REGULARS!" one of the fan girls squealed.

Soon a lot of fan girls blocked the Regulars from going any farther than they intended to go which was home, but we all first wanted to go to Kawamura Sushi to congratulate Judai and co. They all sweat dropped.

"What's wrong now?" Sapphire questioned.

"We all know that Eiji is gay, so can we have his autograph?" the fan girls asked.

We sweat dropped again. This is going to take forever if Eiji gives out autographs. Oishi and I turned toward Eiji. He was frowning which wasn't a good sign. He wore the sweater over his head to try and prove that he wasn't Eiji, but it didn't seem to be looking.

"Okay," Sapphire began as she took a huge breathe. "Eiji isn't among us. He stayed at home to watch it on TV. That person under the sweater is one of those shy girls-" she was cut off.

"If that's true, then why did she stand up and scream 'YOU BASTARD' at Judai-sama?!" a fan girl asked.

Oh god! We are so through…or so I thought.

"That wasn't Amy. That was Momoshiro," Sapphire said quickly. At first Momo was going to shout at her, but Fuji told him to play along.

"I still don't trust you…" the fan girls said giving the bluenette an evil glare.

"Really?"

"Why would he scream? He wouldn't unless he was gay which he isn't because I heard that he has a girlfriend," a fangirl stated.

"I think she was from the Fudomine school," another one added.

Momo blushed because they were referring to Ann.

"Besides only he would call-" fan girl one was cut off.

"Can I make myself any simpler? Amy and I are the only girls here! Eiji is at home! NOW GET LOST!" Sapphire shouted. She lost her temper yet again.

"Should I help her?" Ryoma asked me.

"It's a girl thing. Let her handle it," I told him.

The leader of the fan girls smirked, "If you are the only two girls here…wait! WHY ARE YOU TWO WITH THE REGULARS?!"

Sapphire smirked as she hung onto Tezuka-buchou which shocked everyone including Tezuka-buchou, "Because I'm on a date with Kuminitsu-kun."

Silence. That was unexpected.

"Is this true?" the fan girls and Momo asked. Momo was so stupid.

Silence again as Tezuka-buchou spoke, "Yes, it's true."

Everyone gasps. Fuji grinned as he took the chance to take a picture of the two together as Inui quickly took notes.

"I didn't know that..." Momo murmured.

"Only a fool wouldn't notice," Kaidoh told him. He obviously didn't know either but acted like he did.

"Shut up mamushi!"

"What did you call me?!"

And yet another argument begins as the fan girls turned their attention to Eiji.

"Then why is she here?" Another fan girl asked.

"She's with Oishi. Tell them Amy," Sapphire said with a grin.

Everyone gasps again.

"I didn't know that…" Momo repeated.

"I didn't know that either…" Kaidoh admitted.

Eiji didn't say anything as he nodded his head in agreement slightly embarrassed. The fan girls weren't convinced.

"We can't hear you," they told him.

The cover would be busted if I didn't do something. I did the unthinkable. I took control of Eiji's body, and spoke in my voice, "Yes it's true. If you don't believe me, ask my boyfriend."

Maybe that was going too far. Everyone gasped except Ryoma, Tezuka-buchou, and Sapphire who knew it was me. Oishi knew that I was the one talking for him, but he still blush as the worlds were coming from Eiji's mouth.

"Y-Yes. It's all true," Oishi said.

Most of the Regulars and the fan girls didn't know what to think. The fan girls were very disappointed until one of them shouted, "LET'S GO TO EIJI'S HOUSE THEN!"

"YEAH!" they all cheered as they ran off like wild buffalo in the direction of Eiji's house.

I left Eiji's body which he turned to glare at me. I should have asked him first.

"E-Eiji…was that really you?" Momo questioned with his voice shaking.

"Not really. That girl tone is going to get old sooner or later," Eiji said quickly in his normal tone of voice.

The Regulars seemed to calm down. Too bad the part of Oishi being Eiji's boyfriend isn't true. Not yet anyway.

"Anyways…" Eiji began as he turned to Sapphire. " Beside the name you gave me you should be ashamed of yourself clinging to Tezuka-buchou like that!"

Tezuka-buchou and Sapphire were still clinging together which got the Regulars to smile and then burst out laughing except Eiji.

"I like it like this though," Sapphire said with a grin.

"Keep that up and you really will look like a couple. Not like anybody could love someone like you," Eiji said in a mocking tone.

"WANT TO TRY SAYING THAT AGAIN, AMY?!"

"I WILL IF YOU DON'T GET OFF OF HIM, YOU SLUT!"

"ENOUGH!" Tezuka-buchou yelled.

Everyone stopped laughing as Eiji and Sapphire stopped their bickering, "Tomorrow everyone is running 20 laps around the court. No excuses!"

The Regulars groaned.

"Even me?" Sapphire asked innocently with sparkles in her eyes. No one noticed but me, but Tezuka-buchou had the faintest blush I have ever seen. "Even you Sapphire."

Silence before everyone noticed what just what happened.

"You called Sapphire by her first name again," Eiji said.

The Regulars grinned at their captain as their captain's eyebrow twitched, "That's 40 laps for you guys now."

"Ahhh man!" they all whined.

"At least the moon is very bright tonight!" I told the magic users which they all ignored me except Ryoma.

An hour later the group changed their minds to go to Kawamura Sushi and just to head home. Eiji couldn't return home because of the fan girls, so Eiji and I decided to sleep at Jun's pad. Sapphire went with Tezuka-buchou though because she told him that she didn't want to see her parents.

At Jun's pad, Judai was already asleep as Jun glared at us.

"What do you want now?" Jun asked in a bitter tone.

"We're crashing the night here. Because of Izumi, I have been labeled as the Gay Guy who Sleeps with the Great Manjoume Sanda," Eiji said sarcastically.

"Not my fault. Izumi forced me to do it with you," Jun said simply.

"Right. That's what she said..."

"It's true! I would have done it with Takuto!"

"That's what she said!" I declared but was ignored.

"Because he's handsome like it said on that sign?"

"He's wasn't supposed to write that! He's an idiot!"

"Whatever Rod."

"Just shut up and crash for the night on the floor."

"Where are the mattresses beside those two?" -

"Only two people live here, so-" Jun was cut off as the Ojama Trio appear out of nowhere and tear down the wallpaper on the wall revealing two more beds making it a total of four beds.

"You were saying?" Eiji asked with an eyebrow raised.

"…Just get in the bed and go to sleep!" Jun yelled his cheeks bright pink.

"Whatever…Rod," Eiji told him as he jumped on one of the empty bed's and fell asleep just like that.

"It's Manjoume Sanda!" Jun shouted, but not loud enough to wake Judai up. It took him longer to fall asleep, but finally he did when he put his ear plugs on.

"Aniki really hates us now…" Ojama Yellow whispered.

"No. He's just showing affection," Shuichi said with a grin.

"Oh really? I thought…never mind…" I cut myself off because I lost my trail of thoughts.

The moon really was bright tonight. Something tells me that tomorrow will be a wonderful day if the fan girls don't attack again.

Me: TBC with 5458 words.

Yeah. Anyway I forgot to mention Eiji's siblings ages…

1. Yuri (older sister) is 20 who still lives at home

2. Kazuki (oldest brother) is 18, but in a few months he will graduate high school

3. Tamaku short for Tama (middle brother) is 16

4. Eiko (younger sister) is 15

5. Which leaves Eiji as 14

Yohko: Yeah. That's it. We're almost half way done with the editing.