Yea i know...its been awhile. well im not sure where im going so suggestions would be appreciated and updates will be slow. anyways i hope its okay and please review. oh and i did look over it but im sorry if there are still mistakes.
I followed her at human pace. She tripped over her feet and fell to the ground .she stayed there crying. I knelt beside her.
"Bella."
"Stop!" she cried out. "Please, why are you lying to me? Haven't I gone through enough pain?" She asked in a small voice as she wrapped her arms around her legs.
"I'm not lying to you!What do I have to do to prove this? Will my speed convince you!?" I yelled as I ran to a nearby tree."How about my strength?" I screamed as I punched a hole in the tree.
"Do you believe me now?"
I looked at her face and saw fear. I slowly walked towards her. "What will it take, Bella?"
She said nothing. I slowly knelt beside her. I reached my hand to touch her face but I stopped when I saw her flinch. It was like a punch to the gut. I sighed.
"Years ago," I began in a quiet voice," on your birthday I gave to you a little bear with wings and a halo. Around the bear's neck there was a locket. When the locket was opened, one would find a note that said 'may this angel be with you even when I can not'.
She gasped. "It can't be..."
"What more do you want?" I asked, desperation in my voice. "What more can I say to you?" she looked in my eyes and I could see something click.
"Those eyes." she said. "I dreamed about them for as long as I could remember. Could it really have been you?
She kept starring at me. Her eyes hardened, confusing me. "You left me!" she spat in disgust. "I always knew something was watching over me. I could feel it when you left. I remember it clearly now. You told me you would never leave me." she began to scream.
"Bella, please." I said reaching to her.
"Don't touch me!" she screamed She stood slowly and wiped the dirt off her pants. "Stay away from me." she said as she turned her back on me and walked off. I watched as her shape faded from sight.
I stood silently for God knows how long. Rain poured over me drenching my clothes. I couldn't move even if I wanted to. A hand touched my shoulder but I still didn't move. I felt myself being pulled into a hug.
"Come on, son. Let's go home." Carlisle's voice said. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into his Mercedes. His thoughts were trying to comfort me. I stayed silent watching the rain pour down the windows.
"She knows what we are." He said. It was a statement. I nodded slowly.
"Alice says that we should have nothing to worry about but I still want you to keep an ear open."
He looked at me and sighed."I'm sorry, Edward." he put his hand on my leg trying to offer solace.
WE drove the rest of the way home in silence.
When we pulled in to the driveway, I saw Esme looking out the window with a hurt face. I got out of the car and slowly walked to the front door. When I opened the door I saw my family. Alice looked as if she was about to cry.
I walked up the stairs feeling their eyes follow my ever step. No one said anything but their thoughts were raging. I got to my room and locked the door, not that that would help much. When I saw my piano rage consumed me. I tore it apart, piece by piece. Nothing was left of it when I was finished.
The emptiness in my heart burned. I roared as a clawed at my skin. The pain I felt was beyond description. I just laid down, begging God to end the pain.
I gave up trying. I stopped going to school. I didn't speak even when spoken to. I had no reason to move. I laid still consumed by heartbreak. Nothing my family did helped, though they did try. School days passed and winter break came. I Didn't hunt. My father would force blood down my throat to sustain me
As Christmas neared my guilt increased. I knew I was being beyond selfish, and that it was causing my family grief. To see the worry in Esme's face through the eyes of my family tore me part. I couldn't continue to hurt my family as much as I did.
Christmas eve I stood and walked downstairs. The shocked eyes of my family starred as I moved slowly.
"Edward!" Esme yelled as she ran to me. She pulled me into a hug that I couldn't help but return. I knew if we could we would both be crying.
"I'm sorry." I whispered, holding Esme harder. "I'm so very sorry."
"Edward, stop please."
"I was being selfish. It just hurts so bad."
"I know sweetie." she said softly. "I know it hurts. I would give anything to take away your pain. I hate seeing my boy like this."
That was how we spent Christmas. A few gifts were given. Mainly from the couples. Mostly it was just being with my family. My soul ached but the love I felt from my family those few days comforted me beyond what words can express.
I tried to apologize to them about my behavior but they wouldn't let me. They forced away my guilt and gave me joy. Even when I had done so much to hurt them they took me back.
The comfort t of those days did not, however ,last. School was approaching. I had no idea if I wanted to deal with the pain of seeing Bella but the pain of not seeing her was just as strong.
I sat on my leather couch debating on what to do.
'Edward?" Rosalie's voice came from the doorway. I smiled at her and motioned for her to enter. She sat next to me on my couch.
"I'm sorry for the way I acted." Her voice was sincere" I did not want to believe that you could have fallen for some human girl. I couldn't not believe this girl did what I could not all those years ago. I was jealous that your loved her." she gave a humorless laugh. "It's stupid really. I didn't want you then either. I was spiteful and for that I am sorry. I still think you should go to school though. I know she will be there but you can't allow some human affect you like this."
Anger filled me at her words. Even now she didn't understand.
"She's not just some human!"
"She is, Edward." Rosalie said in a small voice. "She is just a human. Life will continue and she will die, just like every other human. You, on the other hand, will continue to live. To let her affect you is stupid." She sneered.
I was shocked at her words. She wordlessly stood up and walked out of the room.
Her words kept repeating in my head. The sad thing was it was true. Like every other human her life was limited. To imagine a life without her while she was living was hell. To imagine a life without her in existence was inconceivable. I would follow her. Whatever happened after death would have to be better than the alternative.
My heart longed for comfort but i was alone. I knew my family was trying to help but their comfort only lasted for so long. Every time I closed my eyes I saw her horror filled eyes looking at me. Her very face screamed that she hated me.