'The time has come,' the walrus said, 'to talk of many things: of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings.'
(Through the Looking Glass)

Chapter 13

Alex sat in a small waiting area in the Manchester Royal Infirmary and stared into space, completely oblivious to the comings and goings of the medical staff and other potential patients of the busy hospital. She couldn't hear anything, see anything or feel anything – she felt completely numb, although maybe that was preferable to the heart-rending anguish she had felt on the frantic ambulance ride to the hospital. Even as she had held Gene's hand she had been praying to whatever all-powerful being might be listening. Please let him be okay. I'll do anything but please don't take him away from me. I couldn't bear it – not again. Now as she sat, alone and lost in her own world, she still couldn't believe this was happening. He had looked so strong tonight, so vital and handsome – how could this be happening?

"Mrs Hunt?"

Alex sat still and unmoving in mute sorrow, until a gentle hand on her shoulder disturbed her reverie.

"Mrs Hunt?"

She turned around blinking uncomprehendingly at the strangers face. "I'm not…that is I'm...oh what the hell. Is he okay? Can I see him?"

A grey-haired and cheerful nurse wearing pale blue sat in the seat next to Alex. "Well, he's awake now and being very…vocal."

Alex smiled. "Yes, that sounds like Gene. Can you tell me what's wrong –is it something to do with his head injury?"

"The doctor's initial examination there didn't uncover anything seriously wrong – temperature, heart rate and blood pressure are normal and now that his oxygen levels have been restored he seems to be brightening up. However…"

"However?" Alex's heart raced as she waited for the hammer to fall.

"Given Mr Hunt's recent medical history we've decided not to take any chances. We've requested a full history from the Royal London but in the meantime the doctor has decided to run some more tests and carry out an MRI scan."

"I see."

"We're also going to keep him in overnight as a precaution."

"Can I see him?"

"Of course. Mind you he's already been taken down for his scan." The nurse looked at her watch and frowned. "He might be there a while before he's taken up to the ward. Why don't you have a cup of coffee and then make your way up to Ward 33 when you're finished. And try not to worry Mrs Hunt – he's in safe hands."

Alex nodded and watched in a daze as the nurse went about her duties. At least it sounded like Gene was conscious and not in any immediate danger – that had to be good news didn't it? But if it was such good news why did she still feel like she had a lump of concrete sitting in the pit of her stomach? She stood up and Gene's jacket fell from her lap and onto the floor – she hadn't even realised she was still holding it until that moment. She bent down to pick it up and automatically brought it up to her face, burrowing her nose into the still warm garment and inhaling deeply. She felt dizzy and tears pricked her eyes as she allowed Gene's familiar scent to overwhelm her senses, a rich, heady aroma which magically conjured up his presence even when he was nowhere near.

"Silly," she whispered, as she placed the jacket over her own shoulders, her jacket having been forgotten in the hasty exit from the hotel.

Eventually she bought a cup of overpriced coffee and found a quiet place to sit and stare out of the window. Not that there was anything to see apart from the constant coming and going of ambulances and other emergency vehicles outside the A&E department. As she sat down she noticed that there was something in his jacket pocket weighing it down slightly and she dipped one hand in to retrieve his mobile phone. She smiled and ran her fingers over the small shiny silver object. She vaguely wondered who Gene would have in his contact list and found herself tapping a key to find out. She smiled when she realised that she was first on the list but scrolled down anyway. It was concise and contained a mixture of names that she did recognise but some that she didn't. The entries were also concisely named – 'Alex', 'Ray', 'Work', 'Home', 'Lilly', 'Franco' 'Tony'.

"Lilly!' Alex gasped. Lilly hadn't even crossed her mind in the last couple of hours since they had arrived at the hospital. She would want to know surely? Alex tapped the keys and waiting as phone rang. It was late of course and she might not hear the phone – or she might ignore it.

"Hello?"

"Lilly? Look I'm sorry it's so late but…it's Gene and…"

"Where are you love?" Lilly interrupted, "I'll be right there."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"It's good of you to come Lilly."

"Don't be daft pet. Where else would I be if our Gene's in trouble?" Lilly patted Alex's hand. "Mind you, it's not the way I envisaged meeting his new young lady but beggars can't be choosers eh?"

Alex smiled weakly as she looked at Lilly – slightly dishevelled and hurriedly dressed and yet somehow still elegant despite her casual attire.

"Now don't you trouble yourself Alex. He's in the right place now and from what you've said it doesn't sound too serious. They'll just be making sure what with the coma and everything."

"Of course, its just…" Alex bit her lips as tears threatened to overwhelm her, "I couldn't bear to lose him again."

"Again?"

Alex shook her head. "You wouldn't understand."

Lilly pursed her lips and Alex could see where Gene got that expression from.

"You might be surprised Alex – why don't you try me? We've got nothing but time to waste."

And so Alex told her – not everything of course, but nearly everything. How she had been shot and catapulted back to 1982, how she had met Gene there and eventually fallen in love and married him. She tried to describe the sense of utter loss she had felt when Gene had been shot in 1983 and she thought she had lost him forever – only to discover that he was alive and well when she had woken from her own coma.

Lilly didn't say much, she simply nodded or prodded Alex with a kind word, seemingly fascinated by the whole idea of two people sharing a coma.

"I suppose you think I'm totally insane?" Alex said when she had finally finished telling their story.

"Actually no. I don't." She smiled at Alex's bewilderment. "I'm a lot older than you love, and I've seen and heard a lot of things I didn't understand at the time. Doesn't mean I won't understand it eventually though. What I do think is that you and my Gene – you must have a very special bond."

"Thank you."

"I mean it – and I'm glad of it too. Especially after that bitch of a first wife of his."

"Maggie?"

Lilly nodded and nervously rummaged in her handbag. "Times like this I wish I 'adn't given up the ciggies. Ah!" She triumphantly produced a roll of extra strong mints and popped one into her mouth. "Did he tell you about Maggie?"

Alex nodded.

"Then you'll know how much she hurt him. He was well rid of that one I can tell you."

"You love him very much don't you?" Alex said quietly.

"Love 'im? Course I love 'im. He's the only family I've got left!" she quickly lowered her eyes, "the only flesh and blood family at least."

"You and your husband never had…"

"No," she interrupted, "it wasn't to be. Me and Eddie loved each other but there were no children."

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. Besides, I had a busy life what with work and looking after Eddie."

"And you had nephews – Gene and his brother? They must have been a handful?"

"Oh yes, they were a handful alright– especially Gene. Always getting' into scrapes when he was a lad." Lilly smiled at the sudden rush of memories.

Alex was fascinated and couldn't resist delving deeper into Gene's childhood. "What was he like?"

"Gene? He was a right cheeky little nipper but always had a smile on his face. He could charm the birds out of the trees when he put his mind to it."

"Really?

"Oh yeah. One smile and a flash of them big blue eyes and you were lost – well, the women were at any rate." Lilly's smile suddenly vanished. "The men in his life - not so much."

"His father?"

"Was a racist, a violent bigot. Sorry to be harsh but its true."

"Gene did mention something."

"I wish I could 'ave done something to help. I tried but…" she stopped speaking and seemed to lose herself in her own world.

"Lilly?"

"Eh? Oh sorry love – what was I saying?"

"Gene's father?"

"Oh yeah…him. Stan Hunt was a sad alcoholic bastard who took out his inadequacies on his wife and children. I didn't realise until it was almost too late. I was too busy having a good time you see? Swinging sixties and all that."

"What happened?"

Lilly took a deep breath. "Well, one time, must have been when Gene was about 6 or 7, Stan was a bit too handy with his fists and Cissy, Gene's mam, ended up in hospital. 'Course, when I rushed around there she denied it like she always did. Said she'd fallen down the stairs. I was so bloody angry with him – and with her for defending him. I lost me temper, said some things I shouldn't 'ave. Poor little Gene, poor mite."

"Lilly? Please tell me? What about Gene?"

"Him and Stuart came into the hospital. He must 'ave heard me and his mam having words – surprised the whole bleedin' hospital didn't hear. I said something dreadful – I'll never forgive meself."

"What did you say?"

Lilly looked directly into Alex's eyes. "I threatened to take Gene away. I said if she couldn't protect him then I would."

"But why would you say that?" Alex was aghast that this woman, his aunt who declared her love for him so vehemently would threaten to take him away from his mother. Why would she do that? And why would she only take Gene and not his brother? She pressed her fingers to her temple as she tried to make sense of it all. She remembered the photograph that Gene had shown her, Lilly on one side of him and his curly-haired mother on the other and then she looked into Lilly's silver-blue eyes. "Oh my God," she gasped, as comprehension finally dawned. "You're not his aunt are you? You're his mother."

Lilly opened her mouth as if to deny the accusation but then changed her mind. Instead she looked up at Alex from beneath long lashes, lashes that looked so striking on Gene and were simply beautiful on her. Then she nodded.

Alex, her eyes wide with shock, put her hand over her mouth as if to stem the tidal wave of questions she could feel bubbling just beneath the surface. "I should have guessed," she said finally. "You look so alike and he looks nothing like his mother - apart from the eyes but you've got those too."

Lilly covered her face with her hands for a moment but soon recovered. "I'm sorry. I never meant for you to find out like this."

"How did this happen? How did Gene end up believing another woman was his mother?"

"Christ I could do with a drink," Lilly said, as she nervously played with a strand of her hair.

Alex laughed ironically. "God, you have no idea how much you sound like him."

"Do I? Well, maybe it's taken an outsider to see it." She fell quiet and licked her lips nervously. "Back then Alex, in 1963, it was such a scandal to be an unmarried mother - not like nowadays."

"It wasn't a planned pregnancy then?"

"God no! I was just having fun, having a laugh you know? The Pill wasn't available then - not for us single girls at least. You just took your chances and hoped your boyfriend knew what he were doing. Mine should 'ave know what he were doing - he was married for Christ's sake."

"I see."

"I know, I know. I was a stupid cow and I should 'ave known better. Hindsight's a wonderful thing. So there I was, 17 years old, pregnant and no husband with me mother threatening to throw me out unless I did what I was told. She told me I could get rid of it, go away and give birth and then have it adopted or there was a third option."

"You could give your baby to your sister?"

"Put yourself in my shoes Alex -what would you do? Kill your baby, give it away to a stranger or let your sister bring the child up as her own? At least I knew Cissy would love the bairn and I would get to see it whenever I wanted, I would know that it was healthy and being looked after."

"What about the father?"

Lilly snorted. "Oh he took off as soon as he got wind of it. Some sort of travelling salesmen you see. One day he took off and never came back. Cissy had only been married a couple of years herself and she and Stan seemed happy enough, even though they didn't have any kiddies of their own yet, so Cissy was quite keen to take on the baby."

"But what about Cissy's husband?"

"Stan? Well, lets just say he wasn't very happy about it to start off with but he soon came around when me dad waved some notes in his face. So, I was packed off to live with me granny in Salford while Cissy started eating for Queen and country and put weight on. Mind you, she had use padding in the end. Cissy 'gave birth' and I came back and handed over the baby."

"Just like that," Alex said bitterly.

"No, not just like that," she snapped. "You think I didn't cry my eyes out when I had to hand him over? I'd had a week with alone with him, feeding him, loving him and seeing to him when he cried - you think it was easy for me?" Lilly took a sip of water and then wiped away a tear. "It was the best thing for him - at least I thought it was at the time. Now…I'm not so sure."

"Stan?"

Lilly nodded as she tried to regain her composure. "You have to believe me Alex, I would never have handed him over if I'd known what Stan Hunt was really like. That's why I was so angry with Cissy at the hospital that day - that's why I threatened to take Gene away from her. I couldn't bear the thought of my little boy having to fend for himself against that…bastard."

"What happened - at the hospital?"

Gene and Stuart came running in - I never knew exactly what Gene had heard, or even if he'd understood, but he was crying and begging his mammy not to leave him. It was heartbreaking to see. He loved his mam so much you see - Cissy that is, not me. So, things stayed the way they were."

"That's awful," Alex said finally.

"I suppose it must sound bad, but Gene's story isn't unique by any means. They were tough times in Manchester, back then in the 60's and 70's. Gene had to grow up pretty quick to survive. You see, I don't think his dad ever forgave him for not being his real son and he used to take it out on Gene something rotten. Luckily he was a big strong lad and it wasn't too long before him and Stuart could take their dad down if he got too big for his boots. But from the time he was a young lad he always wanted to be the sheriff, the good guy. Well, he couldn't be a real sheriff so he decided to be the next best thing - a police officer."

Alex's mind was reeling with all of this new information but there was one question she couldn't help asking. "Why did you never tell Gene about all of this - when he was old enough to understand?"

"Oh I did - eventually. I admit I put it off for a long while and I thought Cissy might tell him - but she never did. Kept her mouth shut until her dying day." Lilly clasped her hands together anxiously. "I told him - but I did it all wrong. It was me own fault."

"He didn't believe you?"

"Something like that. I think I just picked a bad time. You see, it wasn't that long after his mam died and then there was all that business with Maggie. I stupidly thought that if he knew that he wasn't alone, that I was his mother, then….well I can see I was wrong now of course."

"Was he angry?" Alex could well imagine Gene's anger and confusion at such deception.

"Worse than that. He refused to even acknowledge the possibility. He didn't even shout or anything. Just looked at me in that quiet way of his and said 'No'. He walked out the door and the next thing I knew was that he'd moved to London. He wouldn't speak to me or return my calls. I thought I'd lost him forever. I kept trying of course but he wouldn't have anything to do with me. So, I decided to retire and head out to Spain. I gave up trying to contact him until I heard on the Manchester grapevine that he was in trouble. And that's when I phoned."

"And of course he doesn't remember his past now - at least not where it concerns you."

"No. And in some ways I can't say I'm sorry. I've got Gene back and I'm not sure if I could stand to lose him again."

"You have to tell him Lilly."

"Why? Look what happened last time I told him. We barely spoke for two years."

Alex reached over and gripped the older woman's hand. "It's not fair on Gene to keep the truth from him now." Alex could see that Lilly wasn't convinced. "You'll have to trust me when I say that Gene is a different man to the one he was two years ago. He's been through a lot and I'm sure he'll see this in a different light now."

"I'm just not sure Alex. What if it happens again? What if he refuses to speak to me and cuts me out of his life. I don't want that to happen again."

"It won't," Alex soothed. "I won't allow that to happen - for both of your sakes."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

By the time Alex and Lilly had found their way along the labyrinthine corridors to Ward 33, Gene had already arrived and was being settled into a side-ward by the nursing staff. Although her first inclination was to rush to his bedside, her inherently practical nature took over and she took the ward sister to one side with Lilly in attendance.

"Is there a diagnosis yet? Do you know what's wrong?" Alex said.

"As far as we can tell, there isn't too much too worry about."

"Yes but why did he keel over like that," Lily asked.

"He fainted," he nurse said, deadpan.

Alex and Lilly looked at each other. "Fainted?"

"In simple terms yes – although you were right to bring him in to be checked out given his recent medical history."

"But he said he had a headache," Alex persisted.

The nurse nodded indulgently. "He probably did and that would have contributed to a general feeling of being unwell and nausea."

"But why did he faint?"

"Could be any number of reasons – low blood pressure, high temperature, emotional stress, hunger, exhaustion – any of this sounding familiar?

Alex nodded. "Yes, I suppose so."

"He's been thoroughly checked out – ECG, MRI and blood tests so if there's anything to find then we'll find it. The consultant will be around to check on him tomorrow morning but I expect he'll be discharged."

"Bolly!"

Alex turned her head as Gene's voice rang out. "I'd better go before he raises the roof."

Lilly grabbed Alex's arm. "Look why don't you go and see to him and I'll get us all a cup of tea. Give you a few minutes alone?"

"Thank you Lilly."

"Listen – you won't tell him what we've talked about?"

Alex shook her head sadly. "No. It's not my place but I do think you two need to have a long talk - when he's feeling better." Alex watched as Lilly walked slowly along the corridor. She hated keeping secrets from Gene but it really wasn't her place to tell him about this – not yet.

"Alex!"

"I'm coming." She hurried to his bedside where he was sat upright, arms folded and a deep frown on his face.

"You been gassing?"

"Just finding out what's wrong with you. I missed you too by the way."

"What? Oh yeah." He reached over and took her hand as the nurses left them alone. "Sorry…about tonight."

She squeezed his hand tightly. "You gave me such a fright Gene."

"Gave meself a fright an' all." He made an effort to return the smile she gave him. "Take me home Alex."

"What?"

"Take me home – I don't wanna stay in here."

Alex sighed and sat on the bed next to him. "No darling, I can't do that."

"Why?"

"Because this is the best place for you tonight. I just can't take the risk – I won't take the risk."

Gene pouted but he knew when he was beaten. "I bloody hate 'ospitals."

"I know you do. I'm not too fond of them myself." She smiled tentatively and was relived when he reached out and wrapped his arms around her. They held on to each other for a long moment and Alex closed her eyes as his hands caressed her back. "I'll stay with you," she whispered, "I won't leave you alone. Now, you should try and get some sleep. It really has been a long day."

"Wimp," he teased.

"You're the one who ended up in hospital," she said as she helped him to lie down and then tucked a blanket around him. She settled into a chair next to his bed and prepared for a long night. She watched him wrestle with the bedclothes and try to get comfortable but she could sense his reluctance to close his eyes.

"Something wrong?"

He turned over to face her. "Not sure I want to go to sleep. I just can't seem to close me eyes."

She leaned over and stroked his face. "Are you worried about something?" Given recent events it would hardly be unusual.

He nodded reluctantly. "Not about dying or anything but….Bollocks, you'll think I'm cracked."

"Hardly."

"Well…what if I go to sleep and then wake up in the 80's again? I don't wanna do that Alex – not if you're not there."

"Is that what you're afraid of?"

"Never said I was afraid!"

Alex suppressed a smile. "Of course not – but you're worried." She stood up and began to plump his pillows and make him comfortable again.

He nodded slowly. "I just couldn't do it Alex."

"It's not going to happen Gene."

"Yeah but…."

"I won't let it happen." She brushed his hair from his forehead and then placed a gentle kiss on his lips. "Wherever you are that's where I'll be – I promise. I love you too much to let you go now." She continued to stroke his brow and watched as his eyelids fluttered as he struggled against sleep. "Shhh, go to sleep my darling. I'll watch over you." Eventually she could see the tension leave his face and his breathing settled into a deep steady rhythm.

"Is he asleep?"

Alex looked up to see Lilly standing at the end of the bed with the cups of tea she had gone to retrieve.

"Yes. I'm going to stay with him tonight. He hates hospitals."

Lilly nodded as she put the teas down and made her way to the head of the bed. "He always did have a thing about hospitals." She tentatively placed her hand on Gene's chest and then gently kissed his brow. "My beautiful boy."

Alex smiled sadly as she watched them together – mother and son. They were so alike – how could everyone have failed to see it for all of these years? She felt a lump in her throat but swallowed it down. "Why don't you go home and get some rest Lilly? I'll call you if anything changes – I promise."

"Oh I don't know…"

"There's nothing you can do here. You heard the nurse say there was nothing wrong – they're just keeping him in as a precaution. I'll phone you tomorrow morning and give you an update."

Lilly nodded reluctantly. "I suppose that's for the best." She turned and kissed Gene again. "Night son." She turned to Alex. "You'll phone first thing?"

"I promise. Soon as I know what's happening I'll let you know."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Ouch!" Alex cursed softly as she once more changed positions and tried to stretch out an uncomfortable crick in her shoulder. The night spent sleeping in the chair had been an uncomfortable one to say the least and she slowly and reluctantly opened her eyes to face the new day. She rubbed her eyes and yawned, only then noticing that Gene was already wide awake and watching her every movement.

"Oh! You're awake."

He nodded but remained silent.

"Do you feel okay? Shall I get the doctor?" Alex placed her hand on his forehead.

"No," he said quickly. "I feel…better."

"Better? Well, better is good," she said cheerfully. But there was something about Gene this morning, something different that she couldn't quite put her finger on. So she did what she always did when she was nervous about something. She talked. "Hopefully they won't keep you too long and then we can get out of here and then …."

"I remember."

"…we can go back to the hotel or maybe we could get some breakfast somewhere…."

"Alex!" He grabbed her hand and pulled her closer to the bed.

"Sorry darling?

"I remember."

She frowned as she looked into his face. "You remember what? Yesterday? When you fainted?"

"Collapsed," Gene corrected grumpily.

"Whatever," Alex teased, glad to see him in such good spirits.

"I remember," he repeated.

Alex narrowed her eyes as she suddenly began to understand. "You remember?"

"Everything." Gene continued to look at her, waiting for her reaction, perhaps even dreading a reaction.

"Everything?" She couldn't seem to stop repeating every word he said. It was like she'd lost her own vocabulary. She sat down heavily beside him on the bed.

"Is there a parrot in 'ere?"

"Gene I…"

"It's alright love – I know it's a bit of a shock. Bit of a shock for me an' all when I woke up and realised."

"But how did you know? Do you feel okay? What do you remember?"

"Steady on – I'm only just getting' me head around it." He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them again. "It's like…it's a bit like when the fog lifts you know? There's still some patchy areas but you can see bits through the gloom and then when I woke up and I was just lying here thinking, I realised that I was thinking about things that happened here – before I was hit over the head with that baseball bat."

"Oh Gene," she hugged him tightly, "this is such good news."

"Suppose it is. Here - you don't think its anything to do with me keeling over yesterday?"

"I don't know – it might be. I really don't care as long as you're okay," she sniffled.

"Come here." He reached forward and brushed away the tears of joy now running down here cheeks. "Soft tart."

She started to laugh as more tears rolled down her cheeks. "You have no idea. I was so afraid…"

"Afraid of what?"

"Of you not being you any more. I thought that if your memory came back then you might not the same – you might not be my Gene."

"You really are a fruitcake aren't you? I'll always be your Gene – I 'ope so anyway."

She nodded. "Yes, yes of course. Oh!" She jumped off the bed and rummaged for her mobile.

"What now?"

"I must phone Lilly and tell her you're okay. She was so worried about you and…"

"No!"

Alex stopped and turned to face Gene but then realisation gradually dawned. If he remembered everything then he must also remember Lilly. "Gene? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just don't want you to phone her – not yet."

She sat down next to him on the bed and tenderly laid her hand over his. "I know – about Lilly."

"Oh? 'avin' a good old gossip behind me back were you?"

"Gene! It wasn't like that."

"Really? Exactly what was it like then? Why d'yer 'ave to go sticking your nose in?" he shouted.

"Because I love you – you stupid, stupid man. And what's more to the point so does she!"

"Funny way of showin' it."

"Please don't do this. Don't cut me out."

"I'm not."

Alex watched with tears in her eyes as he tried to grapple with the enormity of his newly remembered memories and the inevitable pain they caused. "Let me help Gene. Please."

"How? How can you help?"

"Give Lilly a chance. She was only a girl herself when you were born – you must know how difficult it must have been for her. Please…give her a chance."

"Why?"

"Because you're not the same man you were two years ago. You've had all of these strange and wonderful and terrifying experiences but I truly believe it was all for a reason. And she's your mother."

"She is not my mother!"

"Very well, she's the woman who gave birth to you, she gave you life. Just listen to her. For my sake if not your own."

After a seemingly endless pause he exhaled deeply. "Okay."

"You'll speak to her."

"Yes but not today. I'll see her tomorrow."

Alex slowly climbed onto the bed next to him and lay down beside him, wrapping her arms around him. "Thank you. You won't regret it – I promise."

Gene closed his eyes and allowed Alex to sooth away his worries, allowing the warmth of her body and the smell of her perfume to fill his senses as he held her even closer. "Doing this for you – not for her," he mumbled.

"Yes Gene." Alex allowed her own eyes to close and could almost feel herself drifting away.

"Alex?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Something else I remember."

"Oh?"

"SuperMac."

. . . . . . . to be continued