13/25
She was reading a paper.
It was one of the nasty ones that had almost nothing to do with her topic of research but that somewhere held the bit of information she really, really needed. She only had to find it. And she couldn't concentrate for the life of her.
This was getting ridiculous.
Ino cursed, silently, and dropped her head onto the desk. Luckily, it was a weekend and she was alone in the apartment she shared with two roommates – and a cat. The place was blessedly quiet. Quiet enough for her to concentrate on what she was trying to puzzle out for quite some time now. Unfortunately, it also was quiet enough for all the things she was very hard trying not to think about to surface in her mind quite rudely.
The way Shikamaru's hands moved when he explained something, cautious and determined. The way his smirk never seemed wide enough and yet reached his eyes – just barely. The way he could look at nothing, pass over a group of students and a dozen of ducklings and a child feeding them and a courtyard as if they all were nonexistent. It was as if an entire world would disappear before his sightless gaze until he finally focused on something, and this certain element suddenly would receive the full brunt of his attention. The way his eyes seemed to burn into her whenever he looked at her.
It was always then when Ino looked away.
Stupid, stupid, stupid woman, she thought. Are you in love with the most annoying man in the world?
And, because she was nothing but honest, her answer followed immediately.
I don't know.
A blackbird's song erupted outside, insistent warning calls that broke off suddenly as the bird took flight.
Ridiculous. When was the last time you just talked to him?
She couldn't remember.
It would have been too easy, saying she was attracted to him. In the beginning, it had been just this: fascination. Now that she knew him better she dreaded the moments she would be alone with him – while, at the same time, her heart sped up in anticipation. In love. The expression made her laugh. What did she know about love? She'd either never been in love before, or she was just unable to feel it. Maybe it just wasn't for her. In the course of her past relationships she had liked her partners, of course she had. It was, after all, kind of a requirement for a partnership But had she loved someone before? She didn't think so. The word sounded too grand, too dangerous. Like she would have to give herself up completely in order to understand it, and the thought was terrifying. Love made fools out of people.
… Just like Ino was making a fool of herself just now.
Ino hated the person she was when Shikamaru was near: impolite and snappy, easily annoyed. Hateful.
She just couldn't say that she hated Shikamaru, as well.