Omg so I want to say that I am sorry if anyone is having problems reading chapter 11 :( I feel really bad and I pulled it up on my computer and it was fine but maybe just give it some time and try later. Sorry that I left you all on a cliffhanger but I had to because no we're getting to the good stuff. So here it goes. Thank you for reading and reviewing. So annoying but I have to say this : I do not own anything beside my characters and my storyline.
Chapter 13
Spencer's POV
I know that it would take a while before Ashley gets back so out of curiosity, I decided to watch one of the dvds to keep me company. I come across one that says 'Davis and Carlin'. Awe how cute! I put in the dvd and see an image that I wasn't expecting to see. Ashley was sitting in her bed, her room looked different. The walls were black with lots of posters on them. Her room was a mess, clothes and trash surrounded the whole room. She seems to be doing drugs at the time and I can tell. Her skin wasn't so tan, her eyes looked as if she had no soul, there was no smile on her face.
" So, how does Ashley Davis really feel about her daddy?"
Ashley takes another hit of the drugs, not really paying attention to the person recording her
" Raife Davis is the scum of the earth. Can you believe that the only reason why I'm here is because my mom wasn't on the pill? Yeah, heard him say it one night when he thought I was sleeping. He's an asshole! I hate him! I hate my fucking father! He's the reason I'm like this, so fucked up! I bet he would be proud if he saw me now."
As I watch Ashley do more drugs, I can't help but feel sorry for her. She was going through a lot and it sucks that someone took advantage of her at that state. What kind of person could do that?
" Enough of this sob story shit, why don't we focus on your fine ass." Ashley takes the camera and tried to get it focused but is not steady because of the affect that the drugs have on her. I hear giggling from both parties and by the sound of it, it sounds like another girl. I really hope that its not one of those sex tape videos that everyone makes. I don't think I can handle seeing Ashley be the intimate with someone. The camera finds it's focus and reveals the mystery girl. WHAT THE FUCK? TONYA!
" Does mommy and daddy know what their little girl is up to?" Ashley ask a younger verison of my sister. This doesn't add up. How could they know each other? Why do they know each other? Why didn't anyone tell me?
" I'm not a little girl Ash, you seem not to have a problem with it when you were fucking me."
" Why would I? You are so fucking hot!" I feel like throwing up. Like seriously throwing up. Ashley was not only drugged up but making out with another girl. And not just any girl, it was fucking Tonya! Tonya pulls away before things get heated and lights a joint, taking a long pull.
" If Carmen were to see this, she would flip out."
" Why would she do that? Because you get more girls than her."
" Hello you are her girlfriend!"
" Why would I want the backup when I would have the rock star herself?" If I thought things couldn't get worse, believe me they did. Tonya proceeds to take off her bra and throw it at Ashley, who tackles her down. The two start making out furiously and soon Ashley is naked and on top of Tonya. A mixture of Tonya and Ashley's noise posses the sound. I couldn't take it anymore and angrily turned off the dvd. Tears roll down my cheek, not able to get the image out of my hand. How could I have been so stupid? Why did this have to happen to me?
" Spencer..." I turn around to see Ashley crying uncontrollably, not able to get more than my name out. I sit there not sure what to do. A major part of me wants to slap her and tell her to fuck off, to never talk to me again. A small part of me wants to hold her until her tears stop, to tell her that everything would okay and that I would be there for her. Sadly, I didn't know if I could be there for her.
" So was it worth it?" I ask her not looking at her face.
"Baby please believe me, it meant nothing. I was high and not in the right place. I wasn't even attracted to her that much."
" You knew everything and didn't tell me anything!" I stand up trying to decide what to do but I knew that if I were to keep sitting down I would have more time to think about the situation. " When were you going to Ashley? Huh?"
" Spence, I wanted to tell you. I really did, it's so much more that happened, stuff that you won't see in that video."
" I can't handle this, I have to go.." I start to collect my things when Ashley quickly grabs my hand. "Ashley please let go." I tried to hold back my tears but I couldn't, the pain was just to much to hold in as water flows out of my eyes.
"I can't let you go Spence! I finally got you, the person I have been searching for my whole life. I love you too much to let you go." The words hit me hard, the numb feeling that I had before quickly vanished. Ashley wraps her arms around me, unable to stop crying. We stand there for several minutes just crying.
Ashley's POV
Even when she cries she's beautiful. I look into her blood shot red eyes, which made her sad blue orbs stand out more. We've been crying for the past ten minutes. I never wanted her to find out this way, not from a stupid video that I've always regretted. Seeing Spencer hurt this way... it wasn't what I wanted. I don't know why she is still standing here. If I were her I would have left way before any of this, not let her get a word in, but I guess that's why Spencer and I are so different. She sits on the floor, her knees close to her chest, it's killing me not to see her face but I know that if I was in her position, I wouldn't be able to look at me either.
" Can I get you anything? Water? Tissues?"
" How about you just tell the truth? Can you do that Ash or is that too hard for you?"
" I guess I deserve that.. how much time do you have?"
" How about this? If I slap you in the face that's how you know that time is up?"
" Okay... I guess I better start at beginning."
Flashback
I'm not really into the whole party scene right now. I actually feel pretty shitty, today the divorce between my parents was finalized and no matter how much I wished on a star, they were never getting back together. No one asked what I thought about it, or if I thought they should work it out. All I know if that my mom has full custody and my dad will get me... whenever he feels like having a daughter. Carmen, my partner in crime, thought that it would be a good idea for us to come out tonight, party the night away.
" Will you lighten up chica? There is a club full of hot chicks and they all want you."
" But it doesn't mean I want them... look can we just leave early? Watch some bad reality tv and call it a night."
"No way Davis. Tonight it's you and me against the city. Staying at an empty home isn't going to make you feel better. Here drink the rest of this, might loosen you up."
I take the drink from Carmen and take a small whiff of it. Whoa! Just the the smell makes the arm on my arm stand straight. I toss it back, ignoring the burning feeling that is occupying my throat.
" That's my girl!" Carmen says rubbing my shoulders. I turn around to order another drink, my old buddy Jack Daniels will do the job tonight. When I turn around, I see a Carmen dancing with this hot blonde, way too hot for Carmen but if she can pull her, job well done my friend. I sit at the bar tossing back drink after drink. Plenty of girls have made passes at me, telling me to meet them in the bathroom, but I decline. I don't want any company at this time. These drinks were getting to me fast, I thought to myself. As I sip on my new drink, Carmen comes beside me, sweating her ass off and totally hammered.
" Dude, you've been here all night. No luck with the ladies?"
" No one caught my eye."
" That sucks bro. Luck for me that little blonde is all mine! Don't get mad if the clean stall in the bathroom is taken." Carmen says in a singing voice, she leaves with her blonde on her arm and heads to the bathroom. Feeling the sudden urge to pee, I made my way to the bathroom heading to the first stall available. Even though I used the bathroom, I still didn't feel good. I wanted to just crawl in a whole and die, my head was feeling too heavy and I could barely stand up straight. I look down in the stall to Carmen's converse written shoes in the handicap stall. I usually wouldn't do this but I feel horrible and just want to go home. I knock on the door waiting for the response.
" Someone's in here?" Carmen said in a frantic voice.
" Bitch pull up your pants and take me home. I feel like I'm going to pass out."
The door opens and I see Carmen and her blonde fixing their clothes.
"Hey... Hey! Do you need something?"
"Take me home dude."
" Ash we just got here!"
" I don't care, if I don't go home right now I might die."
Carmen rolls her eyes and makes her way out of the stall.
" I'm gonna get you some water, just chill in here okay?"
I nod my head as she leaves the bathroom. I take a seat on the toilet, trying to hold my head up against the wall. Man, I'm gonna pay for this in the morning.
" No offense but you look like shit." who the fuck asked you, was all I was thinking when I looked at the blonde. No lie, she was a good 9 ½ . The California dream, blonde hair, shiny blue eyes, killer tan, and bangin' body to wrap it all up. But no matter how hot she was, she had no right to judge me.
" And you're talking to me why?"
" Look, maybe I have something that can help." The blonde goes into her purse and digs out a small bag of a white substance. I've been around enough rock stars to know what she held in her hand and I never took any part of it.
"No thanks. I'm more of an herbal kind of girl."
" It's nothing wrong with a little line here and there. Makes you party like a rock star, fuck like a porn star... plus, it will get rid of that raging headache."
She walks up to me, putting the bag in front of my face. I don't know if it was the alcohol or the divorce, or the pounding headache but I didn't care. I just wanted everything to vanish, to never exist.
" One line and that's it." The blonde smiled in delight and lined up the coke on the sink. She took the first hit, like a pro, even rubbing it into her teeth a little. She handed me the rolled up dollar, and I took it with no hesitation.
" Now don't stop when you do it, and just sort of relax and enjoy the ride." Putting the dollar bill up to my nose, I bend down and snort my first line of cocaine. It was weird. I left it in my nose, down my throat but the feeling felt so good. I admittedly took another hit much to mine and the blonde's surprise.
" Easy there rock star. Don't want to OD." I hear a banging on the door, praying to god that it wasn't one of the employees.
" Open the door Davis and take your water!" I smile at Carmen's voice and hopes the door. She steps into the stall and locks it behind her. " Bottoms up." She says holding the cup of water.
" Actually, I don't need it anymore. My headache is gone, everything is gone." I never felt so light headed or free. None of the problems matter anymore and I feel satisfied. Carmen steps closer to me and looks into my eyes. I'm trying to take her serious but can't help but laugh.
" Are you high?"
" Not high. Free."
" Ash are you crazy? What if you get in trouble?"
" Come on Carm, leave a little. Isn't that what tonight is all about? Just try a little. For me? You don't ever have to do it again if you don't want to. You'll be my best friend forever." I wrap my arms around Carmen's neck and give her hug rocking back and forth.
" Fine, but only one line." Carmen takes her hit and sits on the toilet, letting her effects take control of her. I look at the blonde as she watches us enjoy our freedom.
" Hey what's your name by the way?" I ask wondering who this person was who showed me the new light.
" It's Tonya but you can call me T."
End of Flashback
" After that, Carmen and I just spun out of control, but Tonya was always there. She started dating Carmen and we would always buy from her. After a while, she stopped using and only sold to us. One night, Carmen didn't have cash to pay for her part, so Tonya and her fought. Carmen left my house that night and the next thing I knew, I was fucking-"
" Enough! You don't need to go that far."
Spencer had a blank look on her face, no emotion. She didn't say anything but she just looked at me.
" Please Spencer, say something."
" What do you want me to say Ash? That everything is okay, that nothing has changed. Because this changes everything."
" I was a stupid kid back then baby. I didn't know how to deal and things just got out of control."
" But you lied to me! You should have told me the truth from day one."
" I didn't know that Tonya was your sister! I didn't find out until I started falling for you, I was already in way too deep to pull away and I knew that if I were to cut things short, you would ask why, then I would have to tell you the truth."
" That's no excuse Ashley! Did you think that I wouldn't find out, that it would just be you and Tonya's dirty little secret? New flash Ashley! I found out and you ruined everything!"
" I fucked up I know. But this was before you! I wasn't the same person that I am now, if you would have known me back then you wouldn't have wanted to be with me."
"And how do you know that? I don't care about your past Ash! Does it hurt to know that you slept with Tonya? Yeah it does. But what hurts more than anything is that you kept it from me. You had more than enough time to tell me the truth but you chose to keep secrets from me and except me to tell you the truth. Do you know how stupid I feel right now? I poured out my heart and soul and you only gave me half!"
I make a rash decision and kiss Spencer, hoping she would still feel the spark that we shared. I didn't want to lose her, I couldn't lose her. Everything is just so fucked up right and I don't know what to do. I just don't want Spencer out of my life. Spencer pushes me away, and I feel a knife stick my heart. God, if you're listening please give me another chance. Please don't take my angel away from me.
" I love you Spencer Carlin. The moment I saw you dance, when you I saw you're blue eyes sparkle from the dance floor. I'm not a perfect person, I have a fucked up past and sadly, it's affecting what we have. But I promise you, my feelings for you have not changed but grown. I want to be with, for forever and a day. I just hope that one day I can make you feel the same, that you will look past this and forgive me for being a liar and an asshole. Just please tell me that you'll stay."
All I would do was wait. Wait for her to say something , I was prepared for whatever it was. Whether she were to stay or slap in the face and never look back. The silent air is soon brought to a halt when Spencer kisses me with so much passion, so much love that it feels good and hurts at the same time. I kiss her back, closing any space between us, not wanting to give her the opportunity to pull away. Our tear run down our face, but we don't bother to wipe them away.
There was no tongue, no foreplay, just a long kiss that held a meaning. What was that meaning? I had no idea but I just hoped that it meant something good for us. Spencer pulls away and cries loudly, while I hold her. Why do I always let things get like this? Where the person I care about the most receives the most pain?
Wanting to stop her pain, I swoop her up in my arms and carry her to my bed. I place her on the bed and she turns over crying. I move her hair our of her face and look at her flawless features. The image of perfection was in my presence and I manged to break her. I kiss her on the forehead, letting it linger, but my kisses don't stop there. I place them all over her beautiful face until I reach her addicting lips. I was hoping that she didn't pull back and she doesn't, instead she pulls me on top of her and continues our kiss.
My tongue begs for entrance against her teeth, which is granted. My hands roam her toned yet curvy body, which must have felt good as Spencer lets out a small moan. I move down, kissing her neck that tastes like.. I'm not sure how to describe it, just a taste that Spencer has. I can feel Spencer's fingers make their way up my shirt, pushing my shirt above my head. I sent up, helping to pull off my shirt. I go back to what I was doing before, sucking on her pulse that was sure to turn into a mark. Between Spencer's moans and her nails digging into my back I was so turned on. More turned on than I have ever been. I look up Spencer who is still softly crying, and at the moment I knew this wasn't the right time for this. It wasn't going to happen not right now at least. I roll off of Spencer, who is confused by my actions.
" What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" She asked me with her beautiful blue eyes that have now turned a shade darker.
" Of course not, you're perfect. It's just that with all that went on today, this isn't exactly the best thing to do." Spencer looks down in disappointment, almost as though I am breaking her heart even more.
" Spence, it's not you okay. I just want that moment to be special and for you to be ready, and by the tears in your eyes, that won't happen today." I wipe the tears from her face and fight to keep mine from showing.
" Ashley?"
" Yes Baby?"
" Can you just hold me?" And I did was she asked of me. I held her even as she feel asleep and drooled on my arm. I know that I fucked up majorly, there is no turning back. But the love I have for Spencer won't let me give up. I know I have to make this up, one way or another.
So there you have it. We all know what happened with Tonya and Ashley. Let me know what you this about this chapter. Were you surprised? Shocked? Or knew what had happened exactly? Let me know because I love hearing your thoughts. Please keep reviewing and ready. Thank you :)