50 Things To Do When You're Bored

Chapter 13: Jokes

A.N: Okay, so my summer is almost to an end! So now it sucks cause school starts on September 4, and I don't have that much summer left. But I will try to update as many times before school starts. This week has been busy, so sorry for taking a while to update.

Also, this chapter is dedicated too bellacullen12! She gave me an idea for this chapter, but it isn't exactly what she said... Hope you enjoy the chapter! Please review!

Bella

"Mkay. I have an idea of what we can do today, and it should actually keep us occupied," I stated, looking at each of the Cullens. Carlisle and Esme weren't here, but they usually never were when we were playing something. They usually didn't want to know what we were doing anyways.

"What?" Alice asked. Again we were seated in the Cullen's living room. It was the room that we usually spent our time because it was the biggest and it was just the place that we hung out.

"How about we tell jokes? I know a few of them, but some of them are funny. How about we make this a game too? How about we all get a bunch of change and hold onto it. Whoever laughs has to give their change to the person that made them laugh. Only use pennies though," I explained. The Cullen's would probably have buckets of change lying around, and I had a few cents in my pocket.

"Ohhh! So we tell jokes and if you make people laugh you get pennies?" Emmett asked. He said it the way a little kid would asking for candy. "Oooh! Oooh! I wanna play!" Well, Emmett wants to play everything anyways.

"You always wanna play Emmett, so we shouldn't even bother asking," Jasper stated, smirking. Amazingly, Jasper wasn't throwing any emotions out right now. I guess that was pretty good. But I can see it now-Jasper is giving seriousness too everyone while laughing. That would be funny.

"Everyone's in," Edward stated. Rose gave him an annoyed look and Emmett's eyes filled with glee. "What? I can read everyone's thoughts. It's not my fault that you all decided to play." He gave Rose a look and then turned to smile at me.

"Well, right now I can't think of any. So Bella, you chose the game so you go," Alice stated. Ooh, I know what joke I can tell! Well, it might insult Rose...

I smirked. "Well, I know a joke. But this might insult Rose...And Jasper..." I trailed off. If Rose didn't want me to tell the joke, then I wouldn't. Jasper probably wouldn't mind. And usually these jokes are more about girls, than guys.

"I don't mind," Jasper replied. Of course he wouldn't.

Rose smirked back at me, except her smirk was beautiful on her flawless face. Ugh, I hate being human. "Is it a blond joke Bella? I really don't prefer them, but I don't mind them. And anyways, I haven't heard a good joke in years, and that's saying something."

"Hey!" Emmett exclaimed, getting up from the couch to look Rosalie in the eyes. "So you don't think my jokes are funny? Rose?! Aww, c'mon, and I thought they were good too!" He sat back down next to Rose, slumping while putting on the puppy dog face.

"We laughed. It didn't exactly say you were funny..." Alice replied, about to burst into giggles. I could feel the laughter build up in my chest from seeing Emmett that way. Besides the puppy look, he had his arm crossed against his chest and puckered out his lips.

"Aww, Emmy, don't cry!" I stated. Hmm, I just realized I made up a new nickname for Emmett.

"Yeah, Emmy, don't cry!" Jasper mocked. Looks like his nick name is catching on.

"Hey, don't call me that! Can we just get back on with the jokes. Bells, you had a blond joke you would enjoy to tell us?" Emmett attempted to divert all of the attention from him to me.

"Now you know how I feel when you call me Eddie," Edward stated, smirking at Emmett.

"Whatever. Bella, the joke please?"

I kinda liked the attention on me this time. It was my chance to make everyone laugh, and I was pretty sure that they would all laugh at the blond joke I was going to tell them. "Okay, so there was this blond that wanted a haircut. So she goes too a hair cutter and says "I want a haircut." The hair cutter says "Only if you take off your headphones." The blond replies "If I do, I will die," and walks out of the store.

"So the blond and the hair cutter have that same conversation for a few more days. So when the blond comes in again, she asks for a haircut. The hair cutter replies again saying that she has to take off the headphones. Then she replies that she would die if she did.

"So the hair cutter goes up to the blond and takes off her headphones. She dies. When the hair cutter listens to what was playing from the headphones, she hears "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out," I ended my joke and waited for their reactions. I am very proud of myself, I didn't stutter at all.

Emmett bursted out into laughter. Alice, Edward, and Jasper's laughs added into Emmett's booming laughs. I added a few giggles too. The room was filled with the chorus of laughter. Rose laughed along and cracked a smile. "I gotta hand it too you Bella, that was pretty good. But there was one flaw in that joke, I don't have to breathe."

Of course. Neither did Jasper, but this one didn't really apply to him. I let out a laugh. "Of course! But still, these are human blond jokes. Oh well, they still are funny."

"Oooh, ooh! Talking about blonds-sorry Jasper, I have a good one too!" Alice stated, standing up. Our laughter died down, and that's when Alice started. "There were three girls stuck on an island. A blond, brunette and a redhead. They find a genie lamp and rub it. The genie says that they get one wish each.

"The brunette was like "I miss my friends and my family, I want to go home!" Poof, she went home. The red head said "I don't really like it here, and I miss people too! I want to go home!" Poof, she goes home too. The blond starts crying and says "I miss my friends!" Poof, the brunette and the red head come back on the island." Haha, that one was good!

I couldn't tell who else was laughing, because my laughter was distracting me. I was pretty sure that everyone else was too, because no one was sitting still and it was too loud.

"That one was pretty good," Edward stated, chuckling. Hah, so I was the smart one in this joke! Beat that!

"Oh, I have a joke, but I am sorry to say I don't go against myself," Jasper said, making everyone's laughter stop. Jasper and jokes? Have I ever heard that before? "But I do have a joke that would probably beat yours."

I laughed. "Sure, go ahead and try." Hmm, I just realized that I forgot about the pennies. Oh well.

Jasper took a deep breath and started. "Okay, so there was a bear and a bunny, and they really, really hated each other. They find a genie lamp and the genie said that he would give them both three wishes each.

"The bear says "I wish I was the only male bear in the whole state!" Poof, his wish came true. The rabbit says "I wish I had a lot of carrots." Poof, the rabbit's wish came true. The bear says "I wish I was the only male bear in the country!" Poof, his wish came true. The rabbit says "I wish I had some water." Poof, he had some water.

"The bear says "I wish I was the only male bear in the whole world!" Poof, he was the only male bear in the world. The bunny turns to the genie and says..." Jasper took a pause for the joke to soak in.

"I wish the bear was gay."

Okay, so I really wish I didn't insult anyone with that last joke. And if I did, I am really really sorry. Okay, please tell me if these jokes were funny or not and please review the chapter! Also, I have something else to say.

VOTE!

Okay, so I want to write two stories and I need your vote too see which one I should write! I am going to put both summaries up and you guys are going to vote on which one sounds better. Just vote on my profile. Please VOTE!

A Twilight Wedding

(Vampire/Human/Werewolves)

Okay, so this one is already out but I don't know if I should continue. Here is the summary:

Edward never came back. Bella did what Edward wanted her too, and moved on. After finally making the decision to become Jacob's fiancee, she finds out that Alice is the one to plan their wedding. Will fate bring them back together in the end? E/B

Cullen Academy

So I came up with this idea while I was on vacation. Here is the summary:

(All Human)

Welcome to the Cullen Academy-where guys and girls alike crack secret codes and learn to kill people with their bare hands in more ways than one. What they don't teach you is how to react after finding out that the love you pretended on a mission wasn't pretend.

PLEASE VOTE! AND REVIEW!