"Spaghetti Carbonara, just how you like it," Amanda said, placing the pyrex dish on the table, "With plenty of extra bacon."
Matei smiled, he loved Amanda's cooking all of the time, but he especially loved her Italian cooking. Amanda was half Italian herself and had been taught to cook by her grandmother. She made taught Matei and Emilia how to cook some of the dishes but whilst Emilia was a pretty decent cook, Matei's cooking abilities just about extended to making toast and coffee. Which was pretty much all he had lived on for the past week.
Matei hadn't attended school in a good few days either, and not just because of Jana. He'd been attending counselling meetings for three hours a day at Segolia. Between the meetings and spending time with Jana all he'd wanted to do was sleep. It was John and Amanda who had insisted that they sit down and have a family meal together, after all with all the commotion they hadn't had a chance to talk about the fact that Matei and Emilia were wolfbloods.
"Comfort food?" John asked, looking hungrily at the spaghetti.
Emilia nodded, "Pasta always makes things better."
John laughed, ruffling Emilia's hair, "You must be the only two wolfbloods who prefer pasta over meat."
"Well it's not prefer," Matei clarified, "We just really love Amanda's cooking."
"See," Amanda said hugging Matei and kissing his head, "My grandmother was correct when she said no sane person could ever hate Italian food. Maybe I should publish her recipes, I wonder if Segolia has some secret wolfblood publishing agency? No, don't laugh John, that place is like the wolfblood Illuminati."
John smiled, "Well if they do, make sure that you include a section for wild wolfbloods. Aran and Meinir very much enjoyed that sausage casserole you made for them. They may well want to make it for the rest of the wild pack."
Emilia smiled, "Yes, and Meinir seems to really enjoy coffee now."
"Why do evil things always taste so good?" Emilia and Matei said in unison in bad Welsh accidents, before bursting out laughing.
"Well," Matei said, "If you do find out there is some underground wolfblood Harper Collins, can you please, please ask them if they have any special deals on?"
"Matei," John said, "You about a hundred books sitting up in that room of yours- and a library card. You're going to survive."
Matei sulked, slumping in his chair.
"You can be such a moody teenager sometimes," Emilia said, shaking her head.
"You know I still can't get my head around how cool you two are about us being wolfbloods," Matei said, twirling a strand of pasta around his fork.
"Well why does having fur and a tail have to change anything?" Amanda asked, "The way I see it, it's only the same as if you'd come out as gay or something like that. You're still the same Matei and Emilia that I've looked after for the past year. I just wish you could have told me yourselves. I do understand the importance of keeping it a secret, but we're family. I want you two to be able to trust us with anything. You are my son and my daughter. It doesn't matter what species we are. We're a family."
"A pack," Emilia added.
"Exactly," John continued, "Yes, I was surprised to find that I was raising two kids who are a completely different species, you certainly don't here that every day at work. But I'm no naive, all those study nights. Well I was suspecting that something was going on, but you two are always so well behaved. I thought you were just going to sleepovers with your friends, Emilia, and that you were staying up until all hours of the night on D&D missions, Matei."
"It's hard being the only wizard in a group full of monks, dwarves and elves," Matei complained.
"Matei!" John said, "How many times do I have to tell you about class discrimination?"
Matei rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, don't be so harsh to the vertically challenged either," Emilia added.
"Hey," Matei replied, "I don't use your head as arm rest anymore, do I?"
Emilia rolled her eyes.
"But my point is this," John continued, "You two could never be doing anything underhanded or wrong, you just don't have it in you. So I know full well that no matter what species you are you will do the right thing. And I find it interesting as well, learning about the history, the culture of the wild pack. It's fascinating. But that reminds me, we need to discuss rules."
"Rules?" Emilia asked in confusion.
"Well, you know," Amanda began, "Like where you can transform safely, what to do if there's an emergency. John's still building the den but it should be finished before the next full moon. We need to discuss who is allowed over on a full moon night and who isn't. And what time you two can stay up to as well."
"Yes, and I would like you to show us where you used to go on full moons," John replied, "I'm just curious. I wouldn't know how to transform in secret in the city. And well according to Imara... You haven't always been to careful, have you?"
"I'm sorry," Emilia said, "It won't happen again."
"Yes, it won't," John said, "You can use the den any time you need to. But I do not want a call from Imara saying that I need to pick you up from the pound any time soon. Understand?"
Matei and Emilia nodded and apologized.
"Well, here a few rules we've come up with," Amanda said, passing them both a piece of paper, "Just tell what you think."
"No howling after 9pm," Matei replied with a smile.
"Well you don't want to wake up the neighbours," Amanda said.
"Bed at nine thirty on full moon nights," Emilia complained, "But Matei's never made me go to bed that early before on full moon nights."
"And that one of about litter boxes," Matei said, shuddering.
"The den is your space," John replied, "If you make a mess, you have to clean it up."
Emilia nodded, "We understand. But I disagree with the meat rule, I like a midnight snack."
"Well you won't be needing a midnight snack if you're supposed to be in bed by half nine," John said, "Will you young lady?"
Matei gave his sister a sympathetic smiled, before his phone beeped. Looking at the text message, he bit down an irritated sigh. They knew he was having a family dinner, why was he always left to pick up the pieces? Yes, he loved her, yes he was her alpha soulmate, but sometimes he just needed to be a nerdy, moody, D&D playing, Italian food loving teenager.
"Jana?" Amanda asked with a concern look, "If you need to leave then that's ok."
"No, Rhydian can handle it this time," Matei said in a stern voice, "I said I'd be here, and I'm going to stay."
"Yeah, but this is Jana," Emilia replied.
"Well I'm not married to her," Matei replied, "At least not that I'm aware of."
"Did you two have a fight?" Amanda asked.
"Not exactly," Matei replied, "I just need a break. It's hard. Helping Jana with her exercises, trying to keep her calm and happy all the time, helping her with eating and little things like that. Maybe Ceri is right and she should just be sent away."
"Matei!" Emilia yelled in disbelief.
"Well I'm sorry if just not able to do everything," Matei snapped, "I never asked for this and I didn't understand that being someone's soulmate meant you instantly had to be by their side twenty fours a day, seven days a week. It would be nice if other people helped a little more often."
"I'll talk to Imara in the morning," Amanda replied quietly, somewhat shocked by Matei sudden outburst, "I'm sure they'll be able to sort out more nurses. We just all thought Jana was doing so well."
Matei felt the pain in his chest and sniffed hard, trying not to show how much his eyes were filling with tears.
"Well you were all wrong," Matei replied, before rushing upstairs.
BREAK_BREAK_BREAK_BREAK
"So, where does the horsey go again?" Aran asked, earning a laugh from Jana.
"It's a knight, remember silly," Jana answered and although Jana would never call him silly in the past, Aran couldn't help but smile. Jana's moods did seem to be getting better- she wasn't crying as much, she no longer hurt herself when she was upset. But she did have moments where she would just switch off and disappear into her own little world.
Aran could live with that. He was just happy to be able to peer through the cracks and see the little parts of his alpha coming back again. And, he thought to himself, if I do things like this- getting Jana to teach me more about the human world- well that might help too. At least it would have everyone feel a little more normal.
"Right," Aran said, with a wide smile, "So my knight is going to destroy your castle?"
Jana nodded, "Exactly."
"You're letting me win, aren't you?" Aran replied, "And you know that if this was wolfblood chess then a beta wolf night would never be allowed to destroy an alpha's castle? No unless he wanted to be exiled by the alpha queen."
Jana laughed loudly, and exuberantly, and for a little too long, "I never said we were playing wolfblood chess."
"Yes, you did," Aran said, suddenly concerned. Was Jana suffering some kind of relapse? Was she losing her memory? Or was this all just normal, well at least as normal as it could be right now.
"Oh, yeah, I remember," Jana answered, "I said it right after Meinir went to get some Elixir of the Devil."
Aran chuckled a little. Meinir certainly had a love hate relationship with instant coffee.
"You know I'm going to be ok, right?" Jana began, suddenly serious, and as Aran looked into her youthful emerald eyes he safe his alpha there. Completely- his Jana- for the first time in a long while.
Aran smiled, before hugging her tightly, "You'll always be my alpha, Jana."
"You'll always be the best beta wolf I've ever known," Jana replied, "Just don't tell Meinir I said that."
Aran laughed, "I'm glad that you're getting better so quickly. Didn't the fee-sea-o-thingy say you were going to try to walk today?"
Jana nodded happily, but not over exuberantly, "The physiotherapist. She said it's time. If I wait to long I'll be in danger of more muscle wasting. And the more I walk, the quicker I'll be able to go home."
"And where will home be?" Aran asked.
"Oh, Aran," Jana said, hugging him again, "When I am a lot better, I promise, I'll come and stay for a while. I'll bring all the new pack with me too, and the Stoneybridge pack if they're around too."
Aran smiled, "As long as you keep Emilia on a tight leash. She's been driving me half mad with all her questions. Do you prefer Snowdonia or Scotland for winter? What are your traditions? Do you prefer deer or rabbits?"
"Well we've always know you're a rabbit's man, Aran," Jana teased, with a wink.
"Ha ha," Aran replied, "That joke is older than Ben Nevis."
Jana smiled, "Whatever. I don't care about what you and Maddoc's son get up to, just as long as you don't turn into one of those sappy puppies who constantly go about their significant others."
"Like you you mean," Aran replied, "Oh Rhydian, oh Rhydian, wherefore art thou Rhydian?"
Jana growled, "I'm your alpha, Aran."
Aran shrugged, "But I guess it's you and Matei now. I did overhear your father and Meinir talking about ritual plans a few days ago."
Jana rolled her eyes, "Can't they just leave us alone. This isn't the wild pack."
"But you still have responsibilities, Jana," Aran continued, "You might have abdicated, but your father is back in power and he needs a new heir. And you'd know he'd never remarry."
"So run along and get pregnant, like a good little alpha's daughter?" Jana asked explosively, "Is that what you're trying to suggest?"
"Jana, calm down, please," Aran said.
But Jana didn't calm down, she just started laughing and laughing, even when it started to be beyond awkward. Aran just sat there frozen with fear, did he just push over the edge? What would Alric and Matei say? Jana was doing so well, and then he had to go ahead and say something like that.
He tried to hold Jana still, to stop her rocking backwards and forwards, a new habit that she'd developed. He held tried to hold back his tears, but unsuccessfully, instead he buried his face in her soft hair, breathing in her warm and welcome scent. There was still a long way to go, he reminded himself, and Jana was already doing so well. No more bandages- he'd been tasked with brushing her hair that morning and the amounts of tangles...- her coordination when she was eating was beginning to get better, she'd even had a full conversation in Welsh that morning with her father. But she was far from fixed, that would take months.
So Aran just breathed in her scent and allowed his mind to transport him back to the memories he had of Jana as a child. Teaching her how to fight Meinir, teaching her how to hunt, playing chase through the camp, watching her sleep on dark moon days... His little alpha, happy and healthy.
And he'd make sure she'd be like that again, no matter what he had to do.
BREAK_BREAK_BREAK_BREAK
"I'm hardly suggesting sending her to Siberia, Rhydian!" Ceri yelled back at her son, "It's just if we're not going to medicate Jana, than having her live here might not be the greatest idea."
"But she needs us," Rhydian protested, "She needs her pack."
"I'm not arguing against that," Ceri replied, "But having Jana live somewhere more secure, but still close to us. That would be ideal."
"I agree with Rhydian," Gerwyn argued, "Jana needs to be amongst her own people. Not locked up somewhere with a bunch of stiff wolfbloods who only care about feeding her up and keeping her sedated. And you know what the doctors said, Ceri, she needs to be constantly kept mentally active. The more she uses her mind, the quicker she will heal."
"I'm not doing any of this out of malice," Ceri replied, "I love Jana like a daughter. I'm just thinking about how best to protect her."
"We all love Jana," Gerwyn answered, "And that's why she needs to live with us. She needs love. That will help her heal."
"Ok," Ceri answered, "But on two conditions."
"Ok," Rhydian replied, "Let's hear them."
"One, if there is the slightest bit of a chance of Jana getting hurt then we have to send her to facility," Ceri began, "Two, unless her moods drastically improve, I want Jana medicated."
"Agreed," Rhydian said.
"I don't like the idea of medicating her," Gerwyn replied, "But if it's the only thing stopping her from staying here, then I agree."
"So she'll stay with us," Ceri concluded with a sigh. Just hoping she was making the right decision.
BREAK_BREAK_BREAK_BREAK
Matei sipped moodily at his drink, as he slouched in his seat, trying to ignore Katrina's worried looks. She was already giving him free drinks and cupcakes- surely he didn't look that pitiful.
Katrina walked over to him, and sat opposite him, placing a bright pink magazine on the table.
"They've got a new Taylor Swift love life quiz," Katrina replied, "Don't you want to know if you're more like Harry Styles or Joe Jonas?"
"Not really," Matei answered.
Katrina sighed, "Well Maddy's taking over now, so I can always go with you to see Jana. Did you know she's going to start practising her walking today? It's amazing how far she's come in just under two weeks. She might even be here the grand finale Romeo and Juliet show."
"She won't," Matei responded.
"Well I was talking to Dr Whitewood," Katrina began, before seeing the irritated and miserably look on Matei's face, "Matei, has something happened? With you and Jana? It's just yesterday you were in here excited about how well Jana was doing and now-."
"I know she can't help it," Matei began, feeling the pain again like a stuck cog turning in his stomach, "I know she has little to no control over her emotions. Maybe it was immoral of me to start a relationship with her."
"Immoral?" Katrina asked, "How on earth could it be immoral? She loves you and you love her, and you'd never hurt her. Jana would be devastated if she didn't have you."
"That's the thing," Matei replied, "Jana wants too much of me and too soon."
Matei played back the memory in his mind. He'd been reading to her, Jeffries book, and replacing Rhydian's name with his own, making Jana laugh loudly but in a healthy and normal way. Soon, they'd reached the end of the book and Jana had begged him to carry on, making up the story. It was all going well, until Jana got a little too excited. They'd been kissing and then all of sudden she'd just grabbed at his shirt, talking about how much she wanted him, needed him and about his 'duties' as her soul mate. About how he should be serving, and, pleasing her...
Matei felt sick at the memory. Sure, he loved Jana. But seeing her behave like that, it was so unlike her that he felt for a moment as if his girlfriend had died and been replaced with someone knew and unbelievably wrong for him. He couldn't do anything except get up and leave the room. He felt like he'd died inside too.
"Oh God!" Katrina replied, "Matei, I'm so sorry."
"I just never know how to react to anything Jana does," Matei said, "I feel like I'm constantly tip toeing around her trying to make sure she's calm and happy. And I just find it so exhausting."
"If you need us to help more then just say," Katrina said, placing a comforting hand over Matei's, "You don't need to be afraid of admitting how you feel. Even to Jana. She might be different, at least for now, but we've not lost her forever. If you tell her how you feel she'll understand."
Matei nodded, "Thanks, Katrina. I'm going to see her now, do you want to come with me?"
"I promised Maddy that I'd organise a little something," Katrina replied, "But don't you dare tell Jana anything."
Matei nodded, smiling, slipping his hands into the pockets of his coat, "I promise. Thank you, you've helped me a lot."
BREAK_BREAK_BREAK_BREAK
Jana was standing, holding onto the edge of the table tightly, when Matei walked into the room. She tried her hardest not to lose her focus, but ended up wobbling a little anyway, making Matei rush to her side, and taking a lot of weight off her unsteady legs.
"No fair surprising me like that," Jana complained, as she once again, tried to figure out how to use the crutches. The physiotherapist had made it look so easy, and for a while Jana had been able to stand, using one of them, and holding onto the table for dear life.
"Were you practising all on your own?" Matei asked, with a look of clear shock on his face, "What if something had happened?"
"I wanted to surprise you," Jana said, "And I wanted to apologise, for last night. What I did was totally out of order and I can't help but feel ill at the thought of just being so... Seductive like that? I hope you understand I wasn't really myself then."
Matei cupped her cheek with his free hand, "Of course I understand. But I do need to talk about some things. Maybe you should sit for a little while. We can practise in a while."
Jana nodded, with a yawn, "My legs do feel quite achy."
Matei brushed a strand of hair away from her face, and then decided to grab her hairbrush off the side table.
"Thank you," Jana said with a wide grin, "I'm sorry if it's all tangly."
Matei smiled, "It's not too bad actually. Although Aran can't do braids to save his life."
"He's better than you," Jana replied playfully, "I missed you. When you walked out last night, I was just so afraid that..."
Matei placed a hand gently under her chin and turned her head carefully, so that she could look straight into his eyes, "You won't ever lose me Jana. I'm your enaid cymar alffa- your soulmate alpha. I love you so much."
"Fy enaid cymar alffa," Jana replied, "Rwy'n dy garu di."
Jana kissed him passionately, but with her usual playfulness and nothing unusual or worrisome seeping through. She ran her hands through Matei's hair, using her full wolf senses to take in the way that every single strand felt under her fingers. She breathed in his scent- woodland and fresh books. And perhaps a little too much aftershave...hopefully he hadn't been taking dating advice from Tom.
Jana ran her hands down his back, as Matei's hands tangled in her hair, always careful to avoid the still sore scar that run along the side and back of her head. Jana pulled Matei closer to her, allowing her hands to trace Matei's muscular frame. Was he just naturally muscular, she wondered, or had he been working out?
"Jana," he whispered, as he pulled back momentarily, trying to catch his breath, a smile filling every part of his face, his dark eyes shinning like obsidian.
Jana looked away shyly, "It's me. I'm absolutely here Matei and I'm absolutely in love with you."
Matei smiled, blinking away his tears, "For so long. I thought I'd lost you. Every day I was worried that you were moving further and further away from me and I might never find you again. That you might never find you again."
"Oh, Matei,"Jana said, tearing running down her cheeks, "I could never leave you. Never."
Matei kissed her again, deeply, wrapping his arms carefully around her back.
"I never knew what to say," Matei said, "Or how to react. I didn't know how to tell you how I felt."
"You never need to be afraid to tell me how you feel," Jana said, "Fy enaid cymar alffa."
"Fy enaid cymar alffa," Matei echoed, "Rwy'n dy garu di too."
Jana smiled, "Your Welsh is almost perfect."
"It could never be as perfect as you," Matei replied.
Jana laughed and looked at him with suspicious eyes, "I bet you got that line out a book."
"You know me too well, fy enaid cymar alffa," Matei answered, "But this time, it was all me."
"Of course I know you too well," Jana answered, "Fy enaid cymar alffa, I know your heart by heart..."