Chapter 13

Now

It's difficult to keep herself away from him, now that she knows she can have more.

When Beth thinks about it, really thinks about it, she knows exactly how long it's been since she'd first began to want.

It was in Woodbury, during the winter, in the days before everything went to hell. A part of her had known before that, not known with any consciousness but known, felt it in her bones that something was building within her. She thinks of herself then, so much younger, even if it had been less than a year in the past.

In their days on the road she had begun to feel it, to feel the answer in herself to the question he would never allow himself to ask. She had felt it in small moments, in the brush of a hand against her back to keep her going when she was tired, in the expression in his eyes when she would catch him looking at her sometimes, in the careful way he would sometimes touch her hair as she curled against him for warmth, once he thought she was asleep.

She would find herself looking at him - so strong, and brave, and loyal, and true and it would hit her sometimes, a tightness in her chest that made it difficult to breathe.

Then they had come to Woodbury, to the apartment they had shared, and she had known.

She had known that Daryl Dixon was hers, come what may, and that if he'd only let her, she could be his too. That she wanted to be, some day.

So many months since then, so many months of wanting, of waiting, and she can finally have all that she desires. She feels almost giddy with the knowledge, that there's nothing stopping them now, not even themselves. Rick might say what he likes, but this is nothing to do with him, nothing to do with anyone else. Let anyone try to come between them now, and Beth will know what reply to give them. She knows her self as well as she knows Daryl, and she knows that once they've taken a decision there's no going back for either of them.

There's no big announcement to be made though, no revelation to the group for the time being. Beth has no desire to carry out a public courtship, not when they're only just finding their feet, negotiating their new boundaries and working through all they feel.

There'll be more than enough time later for anyone to make their opinion known on the subject.

He doesn't drag her away to kiss her in dark corners, where anyone might happen upon them. There's no outward public displays, no signs to anyone who might be watching that anything has changed between them, yet Beth can feel the shift so incredibly clearly, can see it in everything that Daryl now does.

There is a confidence in him now, in the way he approaches her, in the steadiness of his hand upon her when he reaches out. Beth understands, it is not because of possession but belonging, that they are each other's, affirmed after all this time.

She's not in a hurry to rush things, as she knows he isn't either. All the time taken to get here and she'd rather savour this stage by stage, to take her time in knowing him.

There's kisses for now, while they settle into this new phase, kisses and shy touches, his hands settling onto the slight curve of her hips, remaining there, warm against her skin with the barest pressure. He hasn't yet dug his fingers into her flesh, hasn't allowed his hands to properly roam. People might laugh, but Beth gets the feeling that Daryl is trying to be a gentleman, letting her set the pace.

So she allows herself to stop and turn while they track, a hand slipping forward to grab his shirt, tugging him towards her. She can see the answering smile quirking at his lips, the light in his eyes as he allows her to have her way, his lips parting against hers before he tilts his face to nuzzle her cheek, the scruff of his beard rubbing against it.

"When did you start to think about me this way?" Beth asks him, voice kept purposefully low, one tone above a whisper. They're tracking a deer, and if they can find it then it'll mean more fresh meat than the prison's seen in a week.

Daryl hums, rubs a hand against the scruff of his chin before replying, his eyes turned to her and then away again, surveying the forest around them. "Don't know how long I've spent thinking 'bout you, know I spent an awful long time trying not to."

She knows it's half a joke, and so she bumps his shoulder with hers, feels him give into it, nudging her back before he touches the base of her spine lightly, a reminder to refocus and get back on track.

"Was it Woodbury?" Beth persists, "Or after?"

Daryl shrugs, pauses to examine a track in the mud before jerking his head to the right, indicating which way they should head. "Dunno, just was one day. Just knew that you were..."

He trails off, and Beth nudges him, reaches out and brushes her fingertips with his until he curls his own around them. "That I was what?"

"Don't know what you're thinking, Beth, but it was never like that in my head. Never that we'd end up like this one day, it was just..."

She waits, lets him get his words together as they make their way forward slowly, footsteps soft through the undergrowth.

"Just... Knew what you were. Spent my whole life until then following Merle around, never did one good thing. But you... Knew I had to find that good, for you. Knew I had to lead from then on, not just follow. Would've done damn near anything for you."

It's the closest to a declaration of love that she's ever received from him. She'd known it of course, realised the changes he'd made, the way he stepped up to be what they both needed. She'd never known if he'd known it though, if he'd consciously realised what he was doing or why he was doing it. Somewhere during their time together they'd both made a transition, stepped firmly into new skins that they can't shed.

He's looking down at her, a burning intensity in his gaze, and she feels it before it occurs, knows that for once it'll be him that makes the first move, that maybe with this confession they've reached a turn.

He reaches for her, places a hand firmly on her hip and pulls her forward, fingers digging slightly into her skin. Beth feels her muscles tighten, feels her heart rate speed up, even before he's brought his other arm around her back, pulling her firmly against his chest, pressing his mouth to hers - hard and hungry and nothing he's allowed her to know before now.

This has been in him too, all this time, buried so deep within himself that it's taken time to be able to let it out.

His hands have moved to her head, tangling in her hair, his fingertips digging into her scalp as he kisses her, his lips rough on hers, his teeth grazing her lips. She nips at him, teeth catching skin, and he groans, breaks away and turns slightly from her, his breath coming heavily.

"What you do to me, girl..." Daryl mutters, rolling his shoulders back. Beth grins, passes a hand through her dishevelled hair and allows him the distance he needs as he mutters to himself, shaking his head slightly as he readjusts his crossbow. "C'mon now, dinner ain't gonna catch itself."

/

They do catch a deer in the end, a young buck that Daryl takes down with a single shot.

They tie it to a branch and carry it home between them, met with cheers from Carl when they arrive at the gate, as he quickly opens it to let them in.

"Think you could show me how to hunt?" He asks them, and Daryl nods towards where Rick stands in the nearby makeshift field, in conversation with Hershel.

"Ask your dad. He says yes, then we'll take you out."

Carl nods but doesn't look particularly hopeful, and Beth wonders if maybe Daryl should talk to Rick, to convince him of the importance of Carl learning. They can discuss that later, once they have some time alone.

They're hailed by others as they make their way up to the main buildings. There's a few people from Woodbury who recognise them, and others who they've come to know since their arrival. They're recognisable firstly as the ones who came back, but Beth gets the feeling that people are getting to know them for the right reasons too. There's a respect that comes with providing food for a community and she's glad of it for Daryl's sake. She can see how it might change him, how it's already changing him, as he opens himself slightly to allow others to see who he really is.

She hopes for their sakes that they're able to see him truly.

/

Things with Maggie have gotten better.

She no longer presses Beth for answers, or tries to insist that she should stay within the fences. However begrudgingly, Maggie seems to realise that her sister is no longer a child, that her time apart from their family has changed her.

Realising it and truly accepting it are two different things, but Beth knows that Maggie's trying. She sees her sister biting back on words of concern when Beth discusses going out, or when she presses to be included on a run. Beth appreciates that, she knows it's not easy for her sister to let go.

And so she does her own part in trying to rebuild the relationship, spending time with Maggie and giving her whatever answers she feels she can.

They had spoken only briefly about the trip to the B&B and the outcome after their return. Beth knows that from what little she said, Maggie was able to read between the lines. She suspects that her sister may have spoken to Andrea or Michonne as well. Maggie has been more careful since then, less likely to insist on knowing what happened while Beth was away when she knows she might not like the answer.

Today they're on fence duty together, Beth easily finding her rhythm through the repetitive actions. Maggie has been talking, idly almost, of the days after they first found the prison, when T Dog and Lori were still alive, of how they'd sat in the prison yard that first night and her father had convinced her to sing The Parting Glass, and she'd wished that Beth had been by her side to help her.

"I haven't heard you sing in the longest time," Maggie comments, glancing sideways at Beth as she works, "Do you think you could sing for us soon, if you... If you still do."

It surprises Beth. So much time apart, and it's something that Maggi has remembered, something that she'd missed about her.

"I didn't sing much on the road," Beth admits, "It was too dangerous, in case somebody heard or there were walkers nearby. There were times though... There were a few times when I was able to." She squares her shoulders, looks into the bright sunshine, and then back towards her sister. "I still sing."

"Then sing tonight," Maggie pleads with her, "I know Daddy would love to hear it."

/

And so she does.

It's almost embarrassing really, the way the residents of C Block gather around to hear her, as if it's a proper concert. She'd balked at performing for the whole community, so many people that she doesn't know. She can do this though, among people who are once again becoming familiar to her.

And so she starts softly, an old Tom Waits number that she'd always loved, building up in volume as she goes along. When she finishes there are requests for more songs, and she sings a few that she remembers well, watches the faces of her people as the music washes over them, the smile on her Daddy's face.

Mostly though, she watches Daryl.

He leans against the wall, partially in the shadows and behind the others, but Beth knows that his eyes are fixed on her, that he won't have looked away. When she manages to lock her gaze with his, it's burning, heavy with the weight of all that he feels. She has to glance down before she allows herself to react to it, look back to the rest of their group, carefully neutral once more.

There's applause when she finally finishes, family and friends coming up to thank her, hugging her warmly before they go their own ways, preparing to take watch or to find their beds. Daryl hangs back though, lingers in the doorway until he's sure she's seen him before he disappears through it.

Beth waits until attention is no longer upon her, until everyone has gone their separate ways, and then she makes her own escape, exiting the prison to see him waiting at the corner, moving forward only when he knows she's following him, only stopping when he reaches a spot that Beth realises is shielded from view from the watchtowers being used, where they are unlikely to be discovered.

Daryl reached out and snags her waist as soon as she steps close enough to do so, his hands resting upon her waist, thumbs drawing small circles there. He draws her in, leaning down to rest his forehead against hers.

"I remember the first time I saw you sing." He laughs, the sound low and deep, "Knew I was done for."

"You never said anything," Beth murmurs, "Never even told me you liked my singing. I worried at first that it annoyed you."

"Nah," Daryl replies, his mouth drifting closer to her ear, his breath warm upon her, "Couldn't find the words. Shouldn't have said them anyhow."

"You can say them now," Beth whispers, eager and wishing, oh wishing so hard that he would, even if she already knows what he means. "You can say anything that you want to me, anything at all."

"You've got a gift, girl." Daryl finally says, his head dropping to her shoulder, arms drawing her closer so that she's flush against him. "Don't know why it's been wasted on me. Could conquer the whole damn world if you wanted, have anyone you liked."

"I already have who I want," Beth reminds him, reaching to raise his face to hers, "Nobody else out there for me, I don't care about conquering the world neither."

She kisses him suddenly, hurriedly, their teeth clashing momentarily before his mouth parts, pressing to hers hungrily. He pulls her closer, crushing her against him, a hand coming up to frame her face.

"Stay with me tonight," he says suddenly, breaking away, "I don't mean... We won't do nothing, just want to hold you."

She's avoided doing so since the incident with Zach, worried that they might be discovered, but oh how she's wanted to. Waking by herself in her empty bed, the sheets cold around her, Beth has wondered whether Daryl is faring much better in his own, whether he's felt the same loss that she has without the warmth they share.

"I'll come." She promises, and he kisses her again, his lips lightly skimming against hers before he drops his head to place a kiss on her neck, his mouth slowly working against her, his lips warm and soft. She sighs, the end of it almost a moan, her fingers tangled in the hair at the back of his head.

"And if they find us?" Daryl asks, voice soft, his question unhurried, "Then what are we gonna say?"

"Then we tell them the truth," Beth replies simply, "That I've made my choice and you've finally accepted it."

He presses her closer, squeezes her, and she feels his heart thumping against her own chest before he lets her go, sending her back towards the prison with a slight push.

"I'll be seeing you then." Daryl states, his eyes fixed on her retreating form in the darkness.

The rest of the group have already gone to their own beds when Beth returns, and so she doesn't waste time. She heads straight to his cell, removing her boots and lining them up by the wall, climbing into his bed to wait. It doesn't take Daryl long to join her, kicking off his own boots as soon as he enters the cell, then shrugging first out of his vest and then his shirt until he's before her in an old singlet and his pants.

He climbs in beside her, into her waiting arms, resting his head on her shoulder, his arm winding around her waist. Beth brings her own arm around his shoulders, her fingers smoothing comforting circles, ghosting over the scars there.

"Missed you something bad, girl." Daryl murmurs into her shoulder, his eyes already shut, breathing already beginning to even out.

She knows that he means it, knows exactly how he must have spent those dark hours without her, tossing and turning and aching to pass through the walls of the cells to be by her side.

If they're discovered, then let it be so. They know what they are, they know who they are, and that's not for anyone else to decide for them. She's not willing to spend anymore time part from him, not willing to forgo the comfort that they both so dearly need.

Beth closes her eyes, tightens her arm around Daryl's shoulders, and prepares to sleep. No matter what the dawn light brings, they'll face it together.

The world couldn't separate them yet, she can't imagine that this prison would.

A/N: I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry about how long it took to update and I hope this partially makes up for it. Apparently getting only 3-4 hours of sleep per night is not really conducive to writing, or to life in general. Things seem to have turned a corner though and I'm hopeful of getting back into my routine soon!

I know I'm a terrible updater, but please do review, they keep we going when times are tough!