Sweet Sacrifice

Chapter: 13

Pairing: Robert & Holly

Rating: PG-13

And even if I change my mind
Don't let me hurt me one more time
Stay away from me be as cold as you can be

November 7th 2006, Election Day

Robert X. Scorpio was seated in his office at campaign head quarters, overlooking the view of Port Charles. The election's outcome would change his political career forever. He would either be elected as Governor and move into the Governor's Mansion or he would remain in his own home as mayor of Port Charles. Either way the election went he knew that one thing was for certain. He would be alone.

As much as he wanted to be Governor, he would give it all up if Holly would come back to him. He would beg, plead and grovel on his knees if he thought that it would work.. He would crawl across hot coals and broken glass on his hands and knees. He'd leave the political office for good and take her far, far away from Port Charles, from New York, from the States. But it wouldn't work because what they broke couldn't be fixed with a few heartfelt words and apologies. What they broke didn't seem to be very fixable at all.

There was one point where he thought they had a chance, a real chance. Holly had completely stopped drinking and taking her medication in fear, or in hope, that she might be pregnant, but the test was negative and what little chance he thought they had was smashed.

And now things remained the same way they had been in the beginning of their marriage. Him in one bedroom, her in the next. Awkward glances and conversations. And living in absolute fear of actually touching. To the public they were the happy, devoted, loving couple they had always been but at home they weren't even friends.

His days were filled with campaigning, Holly right by his side. And his nights were spent utterly alone in a cold bed whilst Holly was two doors down in one of the guest rooms. He knew that they could never get back what they had, but he so desperately wanted a part of them back that he was willing to do whatever it took. But the only thing that she wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

He glanced over at the liquor lined up across the bar in his spacious office. A few months ago he would have drank the bar dry, but now it didn't interest him in the slightest. Ever since the night of the Ball held in his honor he hadn't touched a drop of alcohol. The permanent image of Holly standing before him peppered with battle scars from the previous night was burnt so deeply into his brain that all the alcohol in the entire world wouldn't erase it.

Sobriety was a beautiful thing. He could concentrate better. He felt better. He looked better. He was more confident. Everything was a thousand times better than it had been when he was drinking. The only thing missing from his sober lifestyle was Holly. Something he knew he was going to have to learn to live with.

There was a soft knock on his office door, jarring him out of his thoughts. Holly opened the door and walked in, closing it softly behind her. "Can I get you something?" she asked. "Coffee?"

He picked the mug up off his desk. "I have some, thanks."

"Okay." she replied as she reached for the doorknob.

"Holly?" he called out. "Don't go."

She turned back around and looked at him. "Okay." she agreed. "I'll stay." she said as she walked over to the sofa and had a seat. "It's almost seven."

"It's almost over." he confirmed.

"It's just beginning." she corrected him. "After you're elected everything's going to change."

"I meant our marriage."

"Oh." she sighed.

And nothing else was said. They both just sat there in silence as the seconds turned into minutes and the minutes turned into what felt like a lifetime. They both had so much to say, but they couldn't. So they just sat there in silence, clinging to what little togetherness they had left.

Holly was clean and sober and she had been ever since the morning she woke up to Robert screaming from the bathroom as the water hit his battle wounds of the previous night. She never wanted to experience something so violent and unloving again in her entire life. That was the day she moved out of the master bedroom and into one of the guest rooms. That was the day that she broke down in Celia's arms.

Robert had left for the office and Holly was an absolute mess. She had never been so terrified in her entire life. Her marriage to Robert was over. Over. Such a definite, defining word. She watched Robert leave from the window in the guest room and the moment his car left the driveway she called Celia.

Celia rushed directly over to the Scorpio's, not even stopping at the stop signs. She let herself into the house and went directly upstairs. She was met in the hallway by Holly who looked so broken and devastated.

"I came right away." Celia told her. "What's the matter, darling?"

Holly didn't respond. She couldn't. She simply stumbled into Celia's arms and began to cry. They both sunk down to the floor together, Celia holding tightly to Holly as she broke down in her arms. And they stayed right there in the middle of the floor for hours as Holly told Celia the whole sorted story.

"Oh, Holly." Celia said softly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't." she replied. "I was afraid to admit that there was something wrong and with the election coming up..."

"Fuck the election." she interjected. "The election doesn't matter. The only thing that matters right now is how you feel."

"I feel like I've failed." she confessed. "I never in a million years imagined that it would come to this. What went wrong Celia?" she asked as the tears streamed down her face. "How did this happen?"

Celia pressed a kiss to the top of Holly's head. "I don't know." she breathed out. "I don't know, darling, but you don't have to do this alone anymore. I just wish you would have told me sooner."

"I was scared."

"I'm here now and we're going to get through this together." she assured her. "One step at a time."

Celia did her very best to dry Holly's tears and then together they took the first steps to ensure her sobriety. They gathered all the alcohol in the house and poured it down the drain. Then they flushed all the pills down the toilet. Holly disposed of every secret stash she had in the lavish estate and by the time every last temptation was gone she felt relief rush through her veins. It was finally over. Over. Such a definite, defining word.

At seven o'clock there was a soft knock on the office door. The polls had been closed and in a few short hours they would find out who was going to be the next Governor of the state of New York. The next several hours would be intense and suspenseful and then in mere moments it would all be over. The assistant delivered the message and then closed the door behind him, leaving the Scorpio's all alone.

"Are you ready for this?" Robert asked her. "We're about to be bombarded by the press whether we win or lose."

"Robert." she said as she got up off the sofa and walked toward him. "You're going to be Governor of New York, I know you are."

He reached for her hand, grasping it loosely in his, his fingertips dancing across her soft skin. "I love you." he whispered as he placed a kiss on the back of her hand. "Thank you for standing by me, even when I didn't deserve it."

"You've always deserved my support." she told him. "You're the father of my children and the love of my life and I would stand by you no matter what, rather we're together or not."

"Thank you." he whispered. "I don't deserve you." he told her. "I never did."

Robert got up from his chair, still holding on to her hand and prepared to face the campaign workers as well as his fellow citizens of Port Charles. He had waited for this day for so long, but now that he was actually living it he wasn't so sure it was his dream anymore. His dream included Holly by his side, loving him, honoring him, supporting him and he knew that even if he lost the election that devotion would never truly leave him. But Holly on the other hand was going to. She was going to walk out that door and never come back. And that was the greatest loss of all.

It was early morning, the entire Scorpio staff was gathered around waiting for the official winner to be announced. Robert's heart was pounding so hard that he thought it was going to fly right out of his chest. His throat was dry. And he was more nervous than he had ever been. If he lost the election then he ruined his marriage for absolutely nothing. All those long hours and all that campaigning would be for nothing.

Holly on the other hand was calm and so relaxed. She had confidence in Robert. He was a good man, a good politician and she knew that he could win. She knew that he would make an incredible governor. After everything they had been through she still had the upmost faith in him, she believed in him like no one else, she just hoped that he knew it.

New York Governor Elect Robert Scorpio

The entire office erupted with cheers. Congratulation were shouted and corks were popped off the top of champagne bottles. The were hugs and handshakes and high fives. Robert was Governor and that was cause for major celebration.

Robert, who was all smiles, turned to face Holly. "We did it." he said. "I'm Governor."

Holly smiled, a tad bittersweet. "You did it." she clarified. "I told you were going to be Governor." she said as she leaned up to kiss him, her lips brushing against his ever so softly.

The moment her lips had touched his everything went silent for him. It was as if the entire world had just melted away. His hand moved up to her face as he drew her back to him for another kiss. Holly was in his arms and he didn't give a damn about political status. She was the only thing that mattered.

Andrew and William made their way across the crowded room and over to their parents. And together as a family, perhaps the last time as a family, they celebrated. Everything was exactly the way it was suppose to be.

It was almost five in the morning when Robert and Holly made it home. Robert couldn't seem to get the kisses they had shared out of his mind, but he didn't want to say anything. After what had happened the last time they were together he was afraid to even touch her with the thought of making love to her in his head. But even he knew that the most innocent touches between them sparked just as much passion as the intimate ones.

And together like so many times before they climbed those stairs, but once they got to the top he went in one direction and she went in another. Just like they did when they were first married, the only difference now was that they both knew what they were missing out on. A love so deep and so heartfelt that not even divorce would cut their ties.

Holly changed for bed and then started to climb inside, but something stopped her. She let go of the blankets and turned and walked out of the room. When she entered their bedroom Robert was buttoning up his pajama shirt.

"Robert." she said softly as she entered the room.

He turned around to find her standing in the doorway, the soft lamp light framing her face perfectly. He watched as she started to walk toward him. "What's the matter, luv?" he asked, brushing a few stray locked of hair away from her face. "Are you alright?"

"No." she answered. "I'm not alright."

"What is it?" he asked, concerned.

"I'm tired."

"Then you should get some sleep."

"No." she replied. "I'm tired of sleeping alone. I'm tired of pretending that this entire mess isn't killing me."

"What do you want me to do?" he asked. "What do you need?"

"I need you, Robert" she confessed. "I need you to touch me."

He gingerly caressed her face. "I am touching you."

"I know." she replied. "And I don't want you to stop."

Her hands reached for his pajama shirt, her fingers skimming over the fabric until she found the buttons. Just as she undid the first one, she felt his hands on hers, halting her actions. "Holly." he said softly. "I don't think this is a good idea." he confessed. "I don't want to hurt you."

Holly looked up at him, her eyes meeting his. "You're hurting me right now more than you ever did that night." she told him. "I want to be wanted and desired. I want to make love with my husband."

"I want you." he assured her. "I always want you. I'm just so scared of hurting you, I'm so scared of messing up." he confessed. "I haven't touched a drop of liquor since that night, but I'm still scared."

She slipped her hand out of his grasp and brought it up to caress his face. "Robert Scorpio, I love you." she whispered. "Please don't push me away, not tonight."

His hand covered hers and he moved it to pressed a kiss to the center of her palm. "I love you." he whispered back. "I love you, Holly."

Holly's lips met his ever so softly. They kissed slowly, gingerly, delicately. That was what they had wanted all along. They wanted the tenderness and the simplicity back in their marriage. They wanted to love without explanations of their actions. They wanted to tear down all the roadblocks and all the walls that they themselves had built up.

"Please don't leave me." he said softly. "I don't want you to leave me."

"I don't want to leave you." she confessed. "But I have to. I have to go away for a little. There's a rehabilitation facility called the Causeway Retreat, it's on a little island not far from London. It's private and discreet, no one will know I'm there. They can give me the help that I know that I need."

"Okay." he replied. "If this is what you want to do then I'll support you every step of the way. I want you to get the help you need, I want you happy and healthy."

"I'm leaving tomorrow after the press conference." she told him. "I want to be back in time for Christmas."

"I want you to concentrate on remaining happy and healthy." he said, softly. "It doesn't matter how long it takes, just as long as you're okay."

"When I come back we're going to work through this mess we've created." Holly said, tears glistening in her eyes. "But right now I don't want to think about the future. I just want us to be together right now."

tbc...