A/N: Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out. I wanted to finish up No Rest for the Weary first (I'm soooo close to finishing that one!), but this chapter just came pouring out of my fingers today, so go figure. :D For everybody who's been asking about Alexis, she makes her reappearance in this chapter (yay!). I'm still figuring out the best way to balance the case aspects and the family/romance aspects, so sorry if Alexis disappears for several chapters at a time.

In any case, thanks for your patience, and here's a (relatively) longer chapter for your enjoyment!

(And I just have to say this because I think it's super cool: Thanks to Shatun68 for giving me my first review in a language other than English. I Google-translated it, and I think I got the general gist of it, but Google translate can be pretty iffy so I hope I understood it correctly... Either way, it was pretty darn awesome, so thanks!) Also, huge thanks to all my other readers, favorite-ers, alert-ers, and reviewers!

Chapter Thirteen

Rick went home feeling uncharacteristically subdued.

The evening had begun well enough, what with Beckett in that…outfit (oh man oh man oh man, that outfit) and her sexy as hell Russian accent that had totally blown his mind when it slipped from her red-rouged lips the for the first time (and the second, the third, and basically whenever she talked).

When Beckett had pulled away from him in the hallway after they'd heard enough of the conversation to direct their investigation and left him with nothing but the faint scent of cherries lingering in her wake, Rick couldn't help hoping that this wouldn't be the last time he'd ever get this close to her.

His heart had nearly stopped, and it hadn't been because their pinky prosthetic Russian mobster had forced them away from the main room and into the kitchen at gunpoint. No, that was entirely because Beckett had draped herself over Rick's back, drawing her hands up his shoulders to distract the man—both the men, truth be told—before whipping around in a roundhouse kick that had their killer incapacitated before Rick could even blink.

(And he really hadn't wanted to blink because her pseudo-skirt had ridden up—high up—the long length of her thighs as she secured Demedov's arms behind him. Rick had barely managed to break out of his stupor when she wriggled her fingers for the cuffs she'd kept in his pockets since she couldn't exactly hide them in her outfit.)

By the time backup came and she'd thrown on an oversized NYPD windbreaker over her dress, he couldn't decide whether he was the luckiest man alive to have had a brush with the sweetness of heaven, or if he was a condemned man, always destined to come only so close before having it all snatched away.

Okay, so maybe that was being just a tad melodramatic.

But jeez, she was one enticing little minx, all dangerous and sensual and hot and smart and strong and—

And broken.

Well, maybe not broken exactly, but fractured. Splintered at the edges. Brittle.

No, brittle wasn't a good word either. Brittle connoted something that could shatter with a single drop. He got the feeling that Beckett wouldn't ever shatter. She'd be the rock standing still even amidst the howling winds and trammeling waves.

Rick had been beyond surprised when she'd willingly shared such an intimate and painful part of her life with him.

He was a writer; he lived for the stories. He often—and sometimes accidentally callously—dug around for the lifeblood of a person, for the origin story that made them who they were. And yet, in the car last night, he almost hadn't wanted to know.

He hadn't wanted to know because the process of telling him—reliving the awful tragedy of it all—meant pain for her, and for reasons he still had yet to figure out, he couldn't stand the mere thought of causing her pain.

Instead of triumph at the knowledge that he'd read her correctly, all he'd felt was…humbled. Yes, humbled and honored that this tightly sealed up secret, this intensely private woman was willingly giving him the key to her heartache, this crucial, foundational piece of her that had made her who she was.

It stirred up an odd mix of euphoria and reverence in his chest.

A light knock on his door startled him out of his thoughts. "Daddy?" came his daughter's muffled call from the other side.

He glanced at the clock and saw that it was blinking 12:17 a.m. Alexis should be deep in sleep by now.

He swung his legs off his bed and went to open his bedroom door. He found Alexis standing there in her pink pajamas printed with Hello Kitty faces and one small hand gripping tightly onto Monkey-Bunkey. She fidgeted a little, small baby teeth sinking into her lower lip in a gesture that was alarmingly similar to one Detective Beckett.

He crouched down so that they were almost at eye level. "What's wrong, pumpkin?"

She shuffled a little on her feet, her blue eyes shaded by the long lengths of her lashes. "I sleep bad."

"Did you have a bad dream?"

"Don't 'member. Just sleep bad," she replied, but Castle could tell that she was equivocating. She only ever did that when she had nightmares about people leaving her.

Castle stifled a frustrated sigh. Even though Alexis had only been two when the divorce with Meredith had been finalized, and it wasn't as if her mother had been a steady presence in her life even before that, every now and then, Alexis still showed symptoms of separation anxiety. For the most part, Alexis was perfectly fine during her waking moments, but even two years after the divorce, Alexis still had internalized fears that showed up in her nightmares.

Just one of the many "gifts" Meredith had left their daughter with.

Castle forced the bitter thoughts about his ex-wife away and smiled gently at Alexis. "Come on. Let's go back upstairs, and I'll tell you and Monkey-Bunkey another bedtime story. How's that?"

Alexis nodded. "'Kay."

It bothered him that Alexis was still so shy about coming to him about her sleeping problems. It was almost as if she blamed herself for not being able to sleep normally, even though none of it was her fault.

God, Alexis was only four years old, and she was already so mature in her thinking. Castle liked to joke that it was his superior genes that contributed to her quick mental development, but moments like this made him almost wish that Alexis wasn't able to grasp these abstract concepts so adroitly. He didn't want to change a single thing about his amazing daughter, but she shouldn't have to be so burdened by psychology. She should have the opportunity to just be the little girl that she was. She shouldn't have to be worried about whether or not the people she cared about in her life were suddenly going to abandon her.

Damn Meredith. Damn, irresponsible Meredith.

Then again, who was he to talk? He was the one who married her.

…

"Daddy, can I see Kate t'morrow?"

Alexis was tucked up against Rick's side as he sat with his back against the headboard of her bed. She struggled valiantly to keep her eyes open, but her exhausted body wanted its much-needed rest. He stroked his fingers through the soft fineness of her copper-shaded locks, knowing that playing with her hair was an almost surefire method of lulling Alexis to sleep.

He kept his voice a low murmur. "Kate? We just saw her this past weekend, sweetheart."

Alexis fell silent, and Castle thought she'd fallen asleep when she drowsily confessed, "Bad dream. Wanna see Kate."

Rick startled and craned his neck to look at Alexis, but she had finally dropped off right after she spoke.

Bad dream. Kate.

Oh jeez. Alexis had a separation anxiety induced nightmare about something happening to Beckett?

For the first time, Rick wondered if he was being irresponsible by letting Alexis bond with the detective so much. Beckett was a natural hand with Alexis, but he could also tell that Beckett was leery about furthering her association with them—more specifically, with him. Was he wrong to expose Alexis to Beckett only to have his daughter get attached to someone who had no obligation to hang around with them, who might just as easily drop out of their lives as she had dropped into it?

And now that Alexis was already attached, should he play it safe by severing the ties early to ensure that Alexis wouldn't get hurt any more than she would now if Beckett really did decide that she didn't want to spend time with them anymore?

Or should he up his pursuit to ensure that Beckett became a permanent fixture in their lives?

Part of him was horrified by the fact the second scenario was even a possibility. Had he not already been burned by a quick marriage once? How could he possibly consider getting himself involved in a serious relationship when he'd known Beckett for all of two weeks? Not to mention the certainty that Beckett would not be an easy person to have a relationship with. (And why in the world was he thinking about this in terms of a relationship between him and Beckett in the first place? Shouldn't he be thinking about it in terms of Alexis' relationship with Beckett?)

The problem, he conceded, was that he already couldn't remember what his life was like before Kate Beckett. She'd entranced him completely. She was a mystery that he would never solve, one he'd eagerly spend lifetimes unraveling.

But where did that leave Alexis? Could he really willingly put her in the path of something that could devastate her big little heart? Could he really make that high risk, high reward gamble?

Or maybe the better question was, even if he decided that the possible fallout was too disastrous for the risk to be worth it, could he—knowing what he did about Kate Beckett—could he let her go even now?

It didn't take long for him to realize that no—no, he couldn't.

…

Kate was surprised when Castle didn't come into the station for a whole week after the Chinatown incident. He'd texted her of course for updates on the case, but aside from that, she hadn't heard from the man at all.

So much for spending all that effort to get himself insinuated into shadowing her. He wasn't even taking advantage of it!

Annoyed that she was annoyed that he didn't bother showing up, Kate convinced herself that she shouldn't have expected anything else. The guy had all the attention span of a kid high on sugar, so why should it be surprising that once he'd gotten to do his fun undercover work, he wouldn't bother coming in anymore?

She ruthlessly swallowed the hurt that dared to swell up when she remembered how she'd stupidly exposed such an essential piece of herself to him that night. Stupid and humiliated because her personal tragedy obviously didn't matter much to him if he couldn't even bother to find time in his busy schedule to drag himself into the precinct. Or maybe he'd made himself scarce precisely because he got scared off by her emotional wounds.

Whatever. It wasn't like she wanted him around in the first place.

She buried herself back in the case. John Allen's murder ended up being unrelated with the drug ring, but the connection between Trucho and Vong had been a good lead. Unfortunately, they hadn't moved forward much with it. Trucho was being supplied by Vong, so it stood to reason that Vong was the connection to the drug ring OC was pursuing.

The problem resided in the fact that it was quite obvious that Vong was just another rung on the ladder, nowhere near high enough to make any real impact should they take him in now. It would be better to set the lure and see where he led them. That being said, aside from lame infomercials that ran late into the night for all those insomniacs (like Castle, put in her oh-so-helpful mind) and a real estate system that may or may not be completely bogus, Vong wasn't leading them anywhere.

Her cell went off and she didn't bother glancing at the caller ID before answering distractedly, "Beckett."

"Detective. Always good to hear your voice."

"Castle." She dropped her pen and sat up straight in her chair, glancing surreptitiously around her as if he would suddenly pop up out of nowhere. "What do you want?"

There was a pause on the other end, and when he did speak, he seemed almost reluctant. "I have a favor to ask."

She scoffed. "What? Did you get arrested for disturbing the peace and now you need me to get you out?" A longer pause and she realized that he was serious. "What's wrong, Castle?"

"It's Alexis."

Panic was a vice grip across her chest. "Alexis? What happened to Alexis?"

"No, no, no. Nothing's happened to Alexis," he hurriedly reassured her. "Well, not exactly anyway."

"What do you mean 'not exactly'?"

"Look, she just wants to see you okay?"

Kate let out a huge sigh of relief. "God, Castle. Could you be any more cryptic? Why didn't you just say so? Today's Friday, right? I have a half-day off this Sunday. I can drop by and see her then."

"Great. That sounds…great."

"Okay, that does not sound like you think it's great. What is up with you?"

"Damn it, I should have just come in for this. I didn't want to do this over the phone."

"Seriously. Just spit it out."

She heard him let out a huge sigh. "Look, Alexis' mother and I divorced when Alexis was two. Most of the time, Alexis is fine, but sometimes she still gets nightmares. Separation anxiety. The other night, she had a nightmare about you."

"A nightmare. About me?"

"She won't tell me what it's about, but I think she just really wants to see that you're okay. She's been asking about you a lot."

"Wait, go back. Separation anxiety? Castle, I've only hung out with you guys like three times. Why would she have separation anxiety issues about me?"

"She just…kind of…imprinted on you. Like a baby bird, maybe? I don't know. This is why I wanted to wait until we came back from California to talk with you about this."

"Wait, you're in California?"

"What? Oh, no. But we're spending Christmas in California so that Alexis can spend some time with her mom. Meredith can't be trusted to make the flight out to New York, so I've found it's better to go to her."

"Oh," Kate replied dumbly. She can't be disappointed that Castle and Alexis won't be around for the holidays. She can't be. "So…what does this have to do with me again?"

"I wanted to ask you if you'd be willing to spend more regular time with Alexis."

"Whoa, wait, what? That can't be a good idea. I'm barely even a family friend! You can't just let her get attached to me."

"I know it's asking a lot, but there aren't a lot of women I can trust Alexis around, and she really likes you. Most kids with minor cases of separation anxiety grow out of it by the time they start preschool and kindergarten, so really I just want you to be a steady presence in her life for the next year. Or no, even less than that. For the next couple of months."

"Castle, do you even hear yourself?"

"Yes, and I've thought about this a lot. Like I said, I wanted to talk to you in person about this after the holidays, and I don't want to make you feel obligated to do this, but Alexis has been having nightmares almost every night this week, and I just don't know what else to do. That's why I've stayed home every day this week and cancelled her art classes. But it hasn't seemed to help. And I know, I just know, that seeing Meredith again is going to stir up a whole new mess of issues, and I wanted to help Alexis resolve this one fear before heading out there."

Oh.

Wow.

That…definitely put a different light on things.

Kate suddenly felt guilty for all the uncharitable thoughts that had crossed her mind during this week about why he hadn't come in. Castle was just trying to be a good dad, and here she'd thought the worst of him.

She chewed her bottom lip as she considered her options. On the one hand, she absolutely adored Alexis and would love to hang out with her regardless of everything else. On the other hand, was it really a good idea to let the little girl get more attached to her when Kate had just resolved not to drag the Castles into the mess that was her life?

But it wasn't as if Kate could just ignore Alexis' separation anxiety issues and pretend they didn't exist. If the little girl needed to see her to have those fears relieved, it was an easy solution for Kate to just spend some time with her. Short term at least. As for everything else…well, she'll wait until after the holidays to figure out the best approach to that. Or hell, maybe after a couple of weeks with her mom, Alexis won't remember Kate anyway.

Kate didn't look too hard into why the thought of that made her feel unaccountably sick.

"—I just really want to make sure that Alexis has one less worry on her mind—"

"Okay," she said, interrupting Castle's rambling.

"—and I know—" Castle paused. "What?"

"I said okay."

"Really?"

She rolled her eyes, even though she knew he couldn't see it. "Just…let's take this one step at a time. I'll spend some time with Alexis before you guys go on your trip and…we'll reevaluate when you come back."

"Uh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's—that's great! Thank you, Detective. Really, I appreciate."

"Not doing it for you, Writer Boy."

"Writer Man, Detective. Writer Man."

She chuckled despite herself. "When do you leave?"

"We're flying out next Thursday, so that's the—let me look at the calendar—the 22nd. And we'll be back on the 29th. Just in time, I might add, to prepare for our annual New Year's party, which you are invited to, by the way."

"Don't think so Castle. I have a feeling your parties are a little too rich for my blood."

"Please just think about it? I'll be sure to invite Ryan and Esposito and Sergeant Davidson, too."

She shook her head. "Figure out one thing before the next, why don't you? Like I said, I have a half-day this Sunday, and if Alexis is still feeling out of sorts, maybe I can drop by to take her out for dinner on Wednesday or something."

"Or you could have dinner at my place," he blurted out.

"Castle—"

"No, hear me out. It can be a thank you dinner. For both being willing to spend time with Alexis and also for letting me shadow you on the case."

"I don't need a thank you for hanging out with Alexis, but you better offer a helluva lot more than just dinner if you really want to thank me for butting your head into my job."

"I can do that."

She could almost see the grin on the other end, and she found herself smiling at the thought. A happy, carefree Castle fit her worldview much better than the anxiety-driven one she'd just been exposed to.

"I take payment in chocolate and coffee, just so you know."

"Done and done."