Chapter Thirteen: Reality

Horatio could do little more than just stand there and stare at the word. And it stared back at him. It judged him, his life, Rick... everything that mattered. And even worse, it convicted him. Looking into the letters, still fresh on the vehicle, he knew that this was something he would have to suffer alone. His team wasn't going to be there for him on this one, were they? And he could only ask Rick to hold his hand for so long.

Who did this?

He looked up at the ceiling, scanning for security cameras. One of them had to have caught who did this. Unless more of the department than he had previously thought was against him. In which case, the tape would have been "lost".

He turned his face away from the scene, shaking his head to chase such thoughts out of his mind.

I'm getting worse than Rick, he thought, they wouldn't do that. Just two days ago I had their complete respect. Things couldn't change that much overnight... could they?

He honestly wasn't sure anymore. And as much as he wanted to just get upstairs to the labs, he found himself unable to move. The word seemed to completely immobilize him, ever pulling at the wound his own friends had ripped in his heart.

Maybe it was one of them.

Them: the team… his team… the people he used to be able to trust. As much as he hated the idea, he had to see it as a possibility. And as he reluctantly began running the suspects through his head, he quickly came down to two. It had to be either Natalia or Eric. Ryan would have considered it, but not follow through. Yelina would be more subtle. His sexuality wasn't a problem for Calleigh or Frank. Kyle had other ways of dealing with frustration, and Ray seemed like he was defending them. There will have to be an internal investigation.

Perhaps he should skip over the lab and go straight up to IAB and find a new investigator. He just hoped that the rest of them were as thorough as Rick was.

Rick…

He looked down at the gold ring on his left hand. For a moment, he thought that it would be best if he took it off and hid it in his wallet. He quickly decided against that. Somebody, he didn't know who, but somebody had decided to make a game out of his love. Very well… let them think what they want. But this was his life, and if it was going to become a game, he wasn't about to lose to the bigot who started it. He wasn't about to hide the love he felt for Rick. That will never change.

He looked back up at the word.

Who did this?

oOoOo

He was still standing there and staring the side of his hummer when Calleigh pulled into the garage and walked up next to him. The vandalism was sobering, her bright eyes saddening as she read it. She had to read it a few times; not wanting to believe that she was reading it correctly. But no matter how many times she checked, it was still there; the cold cruelty of it intensifying with every passing moment.

She placed a hand on his shoulder, her brow furrowing in worry when he didn't react. "Are you going to be alright?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. At this point the word was boring so deeply into his brain that he could hardly think.

"C'mon," she coaxed tugging on his sleeve, "Let's get you up to IAB to give your statement. I'll process the scene".

"No," he whispered, "I'll have nightshift do it".

She bit her lip. That could only mean that he believed one of them did it. She wished she could say something that could convince him otherwise, but he was probably right.

"Let's go, Handsome," she said sweetly

Horatio couldn't help but to smile at the old nickname that resurfaced. Quietly, she led him away from the scene and into MD-PD.

oOoOo

Horatio and Calleigh entered the elevator, the redhead pressing the button for the second floor.

"Don't you want to go up to IAB?"

Horatio shook his head, "IAB can wait. Right now I need to go to my office and call Jake Berkeley so he can get his team to process the scene. That and I would like to clear my head before I get up there".

Calleigh looked quietly up at her boss and mentor. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she was at a loss for words. Part of her wanted to apologize for walking out on him and Rick Friday evening; but another part of her wasn't at all sorry, she meant every word she said. She was torn between what she has always thought of Rick, and what she probably should now that he was so close to Horatio. What should she think of Horatio now that he was so close to Rick? The whole predicament caught her so much by surprise, that she wasn't sure about anything anymore.

Horatio reached up and ran his fingers through his hair, needing to calm down. As he did, Calleigh saw the glint of gold on his left hand. Was he engaged? When did that happen?

Ding. Second Floor: CSI.

Horatio quietly stepped out and headed towards his office, trying to organize his thoughts. Calleigh timidly followed him out, standing in the commons. She sighed, this situation required coffee.

oOoOo

"Did you hear what happened to H's Hummer?"

Calleigh looked up from her coffee at Ryan, who had just walked into the break room. He pulled an energy drink out of the refrigerator and sat down across from her.

"I saw it," she nodded, still trying to wrap her head around everything that had happened Friday night.

"I'm surprised that dispatch didn't call us to go through the scene".

"H is calling in nightshift to do that".

Ryan looked up at her. He thought he knew what that meant, but he wasn't quite sure.

"He thinks one of us did it?"

"And after Friday, I really can't blame him".

"He dropped the bomb on us that not only is he gay, but he's dating Stetler," Ryan said with a slight nervous laugh, "I mean, how well did he expect it to go?"

She shrugged, he did have a point. But was that really an excuse for them to treat him the way they did? It wasn't like they could suddenly become perfectly benevolent, especially when it came to Stetler. But there was definitely a better way of handling it.

"What happened after I left?" he asked.

"Yelina said that they were godless, then she left. Then Eric said that he was insulting Marisol's memory. Kyle and Ray Jr. left, Eric wanted to, but I had him stay a little longer. I asked how long they had been seeing each other, he said 'about a year'. And that was all I cared to listen to.

"Everything we do here is based somewhat on trust. If he couldn't trust us enough to tell us earlier… there must be something terribly wrong with our relationships with him. That's just… just…"

She stopped. Why was she trying to defend herself when Ryan left before she did? Was she wrong? Why was her heart telling her she was? Why did her mind keep saying "That's no excuse, Calleigh. He trusted you"?

"'A year'?" Ryan echoed, "And he just told us then?"

He looked down into his drink. His mind was telling him the same thing that Calleigh's was telling her. And as much as Ryan wanted to push it away, he knew that it was right.

"Maybe Stetler's not so bad," she sighed, hoping to sort everything out.

"Stetler? I don't know about that".

"Maybe H is right about this… when has he ever been wrong about this sort of thing?"

"There's a first time for everything," Ryan shrugged, "Besides, there has to be a reason why Stetler wasn't trusted for so long".

They were quiet for a while before Calleigh spoke again.

"Remember about a year ago when they had to share a cabin up in the mountains during the retreat?" Ryan nodded, "Something must have happened then".

"But H wouldn't just hook up with someone for no reason, would he? Especially Stetler".

'Especially Stetler', Ryan's mind whispered to him, why do you keep telling yourself that? It's not going to change what you whispered to Horatio. It doesn't matter what kind of person Stetler is, you really hurt H when you said that. You better hope that he is more forgiving than you are.

Calleigh sighed, "Perhaps he saw a side of Stetler that can't be seen around the labs. Maybe, for whatever reason, they were capable of admiring each other that night. Maybe it wasn't in a physical sense, but definitely on some sort of psychological level".

She fell quiet as she saw Eric step off the elevator and come their way. It took her several hours to calm him down after what had happened in the restaurant. It wouldn't surprise her if he was taking it harder than anyone else who was there.

He joined them in the break room, "Did you see what happened to Horatio's car?"

They both nodded, it was obvious that it was all anyone could talk about.

"God," Eric grumbled, leaning against the wall, "can you believe that he just dropped that on us two nights ago?"

"He wanted to trust us," Calleigh whispered under her breath.

"Stetler," Eric continued as he started to pace around the kitchen, "Stetler of all people. And he expects us to just be accepting to all that? I don't care what's 'right', Stetler is a heartless and cold bastard who isn't worth all the work Horatio's putting into him.

"But I don't pity H. I thought that what he had with Marisol was special, but… he's gay? Well… bi. But what's the difference; he's been lying to us. Him and his boyfriend, Stetler, are-".

"-I think they're more than just dating," Calleigh interrupted.

"What do you mean?"

"Horatio has a gold ring on his left hand".

This earned her a confused look from both Eric and Ryan. They didn't see Horatio that day. And of course they didn't hear from him the day before. Eric felt his stomach knot. The last time he saw his boss with a gold ring was for the short time he was married to Marisol. It wasn't fair. Why did Horatio get to feel whole again while he still felt so tormented?

"I think they're engaged," she finally said.

"'Engaged'?" Eric scoffed, then he laughed forcefully, "'Engaged'?"

Ryan and Calleigh exchanged a nervous glance as Eric laughed again.

"That's great," he pressed on, "And… tell me… exactly what planet do they plan to marry on?"

"That's not funny, Eric," Ryan said sternly.

"No! It's hilarious!"

He laughed harder. Ryan wanted to give Eric a piece of mind, but all he could do was shake his head as he finished his drink and went off to trace.

Calleigh's green eyes flashed as she stood up and grabbed Eric by the arm, "What's gotten into you?"

"Geez, Cal. Lighten up".

"No. You're just being cruel now," she said coldly, staring him down, "Horatio loved Marisol, you know that. But she's gone now, and he needs someone to comfort him. Yeah, it's a little strange that that person is Stetler. But, I don't know him personally. He might not be as bad as we have been led to believe".

"But-"

"-He just doesn't want to be alone. And the sooner you realize how similar you two are in that respect, the sooner you'll start accepting reality".

"'Reality'? It's Horatio who isn't accepting reality".

She said nothing. All she could do was shake her head as she backed away from him. He wasn't about to understand this, but hopefully he will soon.

"You left too," he called after Calleigh, "in case you don't remember".

"I know," she nodded, "and I wish I didn't".

She left Eric standing there in the break room. Alone; which was all he had feared from the beginning.