A/N: Okay. Here is the next installment – the title seems to say it all. I apologize for the delay. I had a bit of writer's block with the middle of this piece and life just kept interrupting. But here it is hope you guys like it. And as always let me know what you think – I love love love reviews.

Legal stuff: Don't own Lost or it's characters. Don't own Barbra Streisand or the song Goodbye for Now.

Chapter 13 – Goodbye For Now

Yes I know, goodbye for now,
How long? A year, a day?
Yes I love you, yes you're with me,
Here now, next to me, and worlds away!
See I free you, and I'll see you when I see you,
fine, OK?

Goodbye for now, again
Goodbye until whenever then
We're free, that's what we said we'd be,
At leave to come an' go, you as well as I,
Somehow each 'hello' makes it worth 'goodbye'
For now

"Right this way." the Hostess led Jack and Kate through the front of the restaurant, Cucina Tagliani, to their table. As the threaded their way through the occupied tables Kate felt Jack's hand on the small of her back – something she remembered he did whenever they were in a crowd. Not only to guide her but a gesture meant to keep contact between the two. Kate always found it comforting unless Jack was feeling mischievous and would let his fingers wander slightly to the side of her waist – one of her ticklish points.

Jack smiled as he leaned into Kate "Did I tell you, you look good tonight?" he whispered. Kate blushed and turned slightly towards him "Thank you." She mouthed. Truth be told she had changed at least 10 times before settling on a pair of black Capri dress pants, a pair of strappy black sandals and a loose, blue flowery top that did well to camouflage her slight bump. She had pulled her hair up into a curly ponytail and topped off the look with gold dangle earrings.

As they got to their table Kate smiled as she took another look at Jack. He did look handsome in a casual pair of dark grey pants and a maroon long sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Kate held back a giggle as she noticed the hostess sneak an admiring glance at Jack.

The Hostess smiled as she watched Jack pull the chair out for Kate before sitting down himself. 'Nice to know chivalry is not totally dead' she thought as she placed the menus in front of the couple. "Your waiter, Andy, will be with you shortly. Can I get you something to drink?"

Kate nodded as she looked over the menu. "Iced Tea, please."

The Hostess turned to Jack expectantly and he ordered a glass of red wine.

"I think I'm going to skip the wine tonight." Kate bit her bottom lip slightly.

"Oh? Aren't you the one that told me that an Italian meal isn't complete with the wine?" he teased.

"I know, but I guess I'm just not in the mood tonight." She replied.

Jack shrugged his shoulders but opened his menu without further comment. The drinks were delivered and Kate took the time to look around the restaurant. The ambiance was lively and cheerful as low Italian music played in the background not interfering with the light chatter from the patrons. The tables were placed far enough from one another to give diners a sense of privacy but close enough to give the place an overall feeling of coziness, Kate thought. From the looks of the décor the owners were trying to make the restaurant look like it was sitting in the middle of a garden courtyard. The doorways from the kitchen and the lobby and the entrance to the patio were shaped by archways. Vines ran along the tap of the archways and down along slats of lattice affixed to the corners of the rose colored stucco walls. Stencils outlined the tops and bottoms of the walls and ran throughout the eatery. Pots of plants and bright flowers were lined up in various areas of the room and in the middle was a small water fountain gurgling softly.

"This place is pretty nice, huh?" Kate commented.

"Yeah, I like it." Jack replied. "Thanks for inviting me along."

"Your welcome." She replied softly. "Thanks for coming along." They stared at each other for a moment lost in their gazes before Kate finally broke away. "Look Jack," she said pointed up to the ceiling. "They painted the ceiling to look like the sky."

"And if you come for lunch ma'am you'll notice the sky looks lighter – like daylight." A man interrupted.

The couple turned to the intruder who smiled. "I'm Andy, your waiter." He introduced himself warmly. "How are you two doing this evening?"

"Fine." They replied in unison causing Andy to chuckle.

"So, the sky really changes?" Kate was intrigued by the idea.

"Sure. The lighting is designed to make it look like either day or night – whichever we want. We can even make it look overcast." Andy explained. "But then, who wants rain in Southern California, huh?" Kate smiled at the young man's somewhat lame joke. "So you folks ready to order?" He pulled out his order pad. "Our special tonight is our stone oven baked lasagna."

"Ooh, "Kate cooed. " That sounds good. I'll have that."

"And for you, sir?" Andy addressed Jack.

"I'll have the Pesto Chicken." He decided.

"Excellent choice, we make our pesto here fresh in the restaurant. I'm sure you'll like it." Andy replied taking the menu from Jack. "Can I start you off with some appetizers?"

"Yes," Kate spoke up quickly. "An order of the Portobello Mushrooms…oh…and some bread sticks."

Andy smiled again. "Got it. I'll be back in a bit with the bread sticks."

"You're not going to attack them like you did the ones at lunch, are you?" Jack joked after the waiter left.

Kate looked over at Jack and stuck her tongue out. "I was hungry, okay?" she said in her best indignant voice. "And they were warm and buttery. I couldn't resist."

"Well, leave me at least one, okay?" Jack flashed a flirtatious smile that sent a shiver thru Kate. She loved that smile. It made him seem so much more playful and cute than the Jack the other were use to on the island.

"So how is Sarah doing?" Kate tentatively asked as the breadsticks were delivered, knowing she was probably breaking the flirty mood.

Jack was caught by surprise by her question. He didn't think that Sarah was a topic that Kate wanted to brooch. "She's doing okay…this week." He took a sip of wine. "She started up with an experimental treatment her doctor recommended."

"Really?" Kate asked with interest. "You mean, like a cure?"

"No, not a cure. Her cancer is advanced past the curable stage." He frowned. "It's more trying to treat the caner with hopes of shrinking the tumors, keeping the cancerous cells from spreading as fast. It won't cure her – it's more a quality of life deal."

"Oh," Kate couldn't hide her disappointment over hearing it wasn't a cure. "So, how is she handling it…emotionally, I mean?"

Jack sighed thinking about how Sarah was trying in vain to keep up her cheery atmosphere only to fail miserably recently when she was getting sick to her stomach. "She has her days. I think this new treatment is good for her. It gives her something positive to try and focus on. It makes her feel like she's doing something proactive – that she's fighting."

"That's good," Kate replied softly. "Having your support probably helps too."

Jack suddenly felt a black cloud of negative emotion come over their table. One minute he and Kate were joking and flirting and the next she looked like she was on the verge of tears. He needed to get the conversation off this topic and back on track before their evening out was ruined.

"Hey," He said reaching over and handing Kate a breadstick. "How about we change the subject?" He gave her a small smile. "Something a little less heavy handed."

Taking the breadstick from him Kate took a bite and nodded. "What'd you want to talk about?"

They spent the rest of the meal in light, frivolous conversation about friends, recent news events and even exchanged their opinions about how Michael's recent announcement that he was writing a book about their experiences on the island and was hoping to start a big book tour in all the major cities. Jack could tell that while Kate's cheerfulness seemed to come back somewhat she still seemed to be a little preoccupied throughout much of the meal. It was almost as if she was wrestling with her thoughts at times and feeling Jack's gaze on her he could almost see her shift those thoughts to the back of her mind and focus on the topic at hand. He wanted to know what it was that was bothering her hoping that he could help her work it out. But he knew that Kate would share her thoughts with him when she was ready and not before.

Hoping to get a little more alone time with her Jack suggested they take their dessert to go and drive back to Kate's apartment. Kate quickly agreed feeling a bit tired at that point of the evening.

"So, where's Carrie tonight?" Jack asked as he followed Kate into the quiet apartment.

"I'm not sure." Kate continued into the kitchen. "I think she had a date."

As she spoke she pulled out two plates and set a slice of cheesecake on each. "She's not one to stay home much on the weekends."

The two sat and quietly enjoyed their dessert. It was a comfortable silence that they use to share on the island while sitting out on the shore watching the waves. Jack had learned that at times words weren't needed between the two to understand each other.

Retiring to the couch Jack gave Kate a long look. "You okay?" he asked concerned. "You look a little tired."

Kate looked over at Jack noticing the warmth in his eyes that always seemed to be there whenever he looked at her. She found herself letting that warmth envelope her as she nodded. "Just a little."

"Turn around," Jack instructed motioning with his hand.

"What? Why?" she asked confused.

"Just turn around." Jack repeated chuckling. "Trust me, you'll like this." He added as he moved up on the couch to sit behind her. Pushing her hair to the side he placed his hands on her neck and gently started kneading her shoulders.

Kate tensed up for a moment in surprise before relaxing back into his familiar touch. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath letting it out slowly. His fingers moved across her tight muscles gently digging in and causing them to start to loosen. Kate felt her mind start to clear; the thoughts that had plagued her off and on briefly earlier in the evening fading. She felt herself sink deeper into the relaxation as Jack's hands started moving down her shoulder blades, his thumbs rubbing in circles, his fingers pushing and pulling causing light shivers down her spine. She let out a soft moan in satisfaction.

Jack smiled. He leaned in and spoke softly in her ear. "Feeling better?"

"Hummm" Kate purred as his hands continued their gentle assault on her tired muscles.

"Take another deep breath and let it out slowly while you count to five." He instructed, his warm breath leaving goosebumps on her skin.

"Aaahh" Kate sighed. "You give the best massages."

"So I've been told." Jack replied smiling as his fingers dug into her shoulder blades working on a knot underneath her left side.

"Oh really?" she opened her eyes alerted by his comment. "By whom?"

Jack let out a chuckle at the slight tone of jealousy building in her voice. "By you every time I give you one." He reminded her.

"Oh" Kate smiled and leaned back on his hands again.

"And by the O.R. nurse who's shoulders I rubbed yesterday after surgery." He teased.

Turning her head slightly to meet his glance Kate shot him a look. "Very funny, maybe you should have had her take you to dinner." She suggested.

"Except she didn't have a gift certificate." Jack pointed out enjoying the teasing.

Kate smirked as she sat up again. "Well, I'm sure for the 'sexy surgeon' she would gladly pay the bill."

Jack groaned at the Oprah reference. He thought Kate had forgotten about it by now. "Just for that, missy, you can forget about the rest of your massage."

Kate's eyes grew wide at the idea of a premature end to the wonderful massage. She looked up at Jack again and gave him her best puppy-eyed look. "I'm sorry," she said quickly, sounding like a child that had been scolded. "I was joking. Please don't stop. I won't bring it up again…ever."

"You promise?" he feigned a hurt tone in his voice.

"I promise." She vowed then turned around again and leaned back slightly waiting for his hands to touch her again. Jack didn't move for a few seconds as if he was still contemplating. "Pleeease?" she added.

Breaking into a smile she couldn't see he scooted back a bit on the couch before gently pushing Kate's upper body forward. "Lean forward." He instructed, his hands once again kneading her tired muscles. Kate gave another sigh of contentment and closed her eyes – 10 minutes later she was fast asleep.

Kate found herself in a long stark white corridor, the walls bare and sanitized lined by wooden doors. There was no movement and very little noise surrounding her. Looking around Kate wasn't sure where to go, so she started walking forward down the hall, her footsteps echoing softly and in the distance she could hear a faint, steady beeping noise but couldn't tell what it was.

As she came around the corner she ran into an older woman in a nurse's uniform sitting at a desk. Behind her a sign on the wall read 'Mercy Hospital'.

Upon seeing Kate the nurse smiled warmly. "Good Morning, Ms. Austen. You can go right in, she's waiting for you."

"Who's waiting for me?" Kate asked totally confused.

The woman nodded, her smile never leaving her face. Kate wondered briefly if her cheeks ached. "She's waiting for you." She repeated and pointed behind Kate.

"Who?" Kate asked again. But the nurse turned away and picked up her phone and proceed to make a call – ignoring Kate in the process.

Still confused Kate turned around to where the nurse had pointed and saw a closed door similar to the others she had passed earlier. Tentatively, she reached up and pushed the door open and found herself in a hospital room. The lights were dimmed and she could see a single bed against the far wall, machines situated around humming. Taking a couple of steps in she could see the outline of a person in the bed the upper body blocked from Kate's view by a monitor.

"Hello?" She called out softly wondering who the "she" was the nurse was referring to. "Hello?" she tried again and again was met with silence. She continued to walk up to the bed and was shocked to see her mother, Diane, laying in the bed hooked up to the machines. She looked the same as the last time Kate saw her in the hospital – her complexion shallow and pale.

"Mom?" Kate gasped bringing her hand up to her mouth.

The sound woke Diane who opened her eyes and gave a small smile when she saw her daughter's face. "Katherine, you're here." She said, her voice low and full of weariness.

Kate felt tears come to her eyes. "Mom." She choked out. "But I thought…I mean they told me…" Her throat tightened and she found the tears spill out.

"Where have you been Katherine?" Diane asked, her eyes showing sadness and disappointment in her only daughter. "I've been waiting for you and you didn't come."

Kate wiped away the tears from under her eyes. "I wanted to come, mom. I did, but…I couldn't right away. I didn't know you were sick."

Diane turned away from Kate for a moment and took a deep breath. As she slowly turned back Kate reached out and took her mother's hand in hers. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

Diane's eyes soften as she looked at her daughter's tear stained face. She reached up and gently caressed Kate's cheek. "Why did you do it?" she asked.

Kate looked up at her mother confused by her question. "Do what?" she asked, hoping her mother wasn't referring to her crime.

"Why did you take him away from me?" Diane withdrew her hand "I needed him Katherine and you took Wayne away from me." She said her voice laced with an accusatory tone.

Kate felt like a knife had been stabbed in her heart. "Mom, I didn't…I just wanted you to be safe." She cried, "I didn't do it."

"You left me alone Katherine." Diane replied turning her head away.

Kate shakily brought her hand up to her mouth and tried to wipe the tears that had fallen down to her lips. "I-I…d-didn't…"

"I died alone, Katherine." Diane continued, her voice sounding hollow and void of emotion for a moment. "I needed someone to take care of me…"

"I-I wanted to, mom!" Kate yelled. "I came to see you, remember?" she cried leaving out the painful memory of Diane calling out for help.

"You took him away." Diane repeated. Kate closed her eyes as her mother repeated that sentence again and again. Suddenly Diane's voice changed and Kate heard another woman's voice say 'You took him away'.

Looking up she saw Diane's face had morphed into Sarah's – the young woman now laid in the hospital bed her complexion pale, her blue eyes dulled by the pain. "Sarah?" Kate whispered. The woman turned and looked at her.

"I'm dying Kate and I need him. You took him away when I need him. I need Jack." She said.

Kate shook her head. "No!" she denied venomously. "He married you. He's taking care of you."

"Don't you see?" Sarah countered tears forming in her eyes. "You're taking him away. He's with you and you're taking him away." She cried. "I need him and he's with you."

Kate felt a new flood of tears come up and start to spill out. "I need him too." She choked out softly. "I'm pregnant and his baby needs him."

Sarah's eyes showed a flash of anger. "You're not comparing your situation to mine, are you?" she spit out. "I'm dying Kate!"

"I know. I'm not." Kate shook her head. "It's just that…"

"Are you going to let me die alone like you let your mother die alone?" Sarah angrily asked. "Are you that selfish?"

Kate started sobbing harder, a wave of guilt washed over her. "No!" she protested. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"Don't take him away." Sarah told her simply. "Don't take him from me when I need him."

Kate woke up with a jolt; her heart racing. Sitting up she saw that she was in her bedroom, the light from the muted television casting a warm glow in the room. Looking to her left she saw Jack lying on top of the bed covers asleep.

Taking a couple of deep breaths she felt her heart rate start to slow down. She couldn't believe the dream she had just had…first her mother and then Sarah blaming her. But weren't they right? Kate asked herself. She did have a hand in her mother being left to face her illness alone. Diane should have been able to count on her daughter to be there talking to the doctors, holding her hand, helping her make the necessary decisions. But instead Kate had left and Wayne had been taken too, though Kate doubted that he would have been the hand holding, sitting up through the night kind of comfort that Diane could have used.

Choking back a tear Kate rolled out of bed. Her actions woke Jack who turned quickly in her direction and smiled. "Hey, sleepyhead." He greeted warmly.

Kate swallowed hard as she walked around the foot of the bed. The image of Sarah flashed in front of her briefly. 'Don't take Jack away. I need him.' Her haunting words echoed in Kate's head.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Jack slid out of bed and stood in front of her placing his hands gently on her arms.

Kate looked up at his warm and caring dark eyes and felt her heart break just a little. She knew what she had to say but couldn't do it face to face so she gently pulled herself out of his embrace and walked over to the window – her back to Jack.

"Kate?" Jack was confused. He could tell by the look on her face something was wrong and knew it had to be what seemed to be preoccupying her part of their evening earlier.

She took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around herself. "We can't keep doing this." She stated.

"Doing what?" Jack took a step towards her.

"This." She replied. "We can't keep doing this. It's not right."

Jack shook his head. "Kate, what are you talking about? What's not right?"

She turned slowly and faced him making sure to keep herself at a distance, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I don't know what I was thinking…but we can't do this Jack. We can't go on seeing each other…even for a little while."

Jack took a deep breath shaking his head. "Yes, we can, Kate. We love each other." He argued.

She took a deep breath again and wrapped her arms around herself even tighter. "That's not the point…"

"That is the point!" Jack interrupted. "I love you and I want to be with you."

"But you need to be with her. Sarah needs you." Kate could feel the hot tears start to spill out. She angrily wiped at them. "You need to go."

Jack looked at her shock registering on his face. "What?" He couldn't believe she was doing this again.

"You heard me." She spit out trying to get herself angry because she knew that was the only way she was going to get through this. Anger would be her courage. "You need to leave."

"Kate, where is this coming from?" Jack took a step towards her and tried to reach out and touch her. She stepped away from him. "Don't…"

Backing herself into a corner she shook her head. "Look, I'm sorry I did this. I shouldn't have invited you to dinner. It was wrong and we both know it. You made a commit to her and you need to honor it."

"I am honoring it." Jack replied hotly. "I've been there to help Sarah…"

"But you're not there tonight, are you?" She argued. "You weren't there the other night either, were you?"

"Kate…"

"You're married to her!" Kate shot back.

"As you continually point out!" He spit out. She was making no sense and he was getting tired of this game. One minute they're flirting and enjoying each other's company just like before Sarah came back into his life and now she's standing in the corner looking like a caged animal pacing back and forth.

Kate took a deep breath and wiped at her eyes again. "You're married." She repeated, this time a little more softly the hurt coming through in her tone. "You need to go and be with you wife."

Jack let out a chuckled. "This is a business arrangement, Kate. You and I know that and Sarah knows that."

Kate shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe, but it's still a marriage. And I'm betting that outside of a couple of close friends, your co-workers don't know about the arrangement, people Sarah knows don't think it's just for insurance reasons. They think you two are married and how would it look if your bosses at the hospital thought you had a mistress."

Jack couldn't believe she was referring to herself like that. "I don't give a damn what they think!"

"Well then you should." She retorted.

"Really? Well if I did, then I would have to think what they must wonder about me coming back involved with you only to turn around and suddenly re-marry my ex-wife?" He pointed out. "You don't think they wonder what the hell is going on there?"

"Please Jack, we talked about this before. You agreed with me…"

"I agreed to appease you because you practically threatened to leave me if I didn't marry Sarah." He countered, getting more angry with the pretty brunette.

"Or don't you remember that part?"

Kate took a deep breath and nodded her head. "Please Jack, you need to leave. We can't do this. We can't see each other."

"Why?" Jack asked pointedly. He couldn't see why he couldn't spend time with Kate and still be there to support Sarah.

"Because it's too hard on me!" Kate cried. "I can't be with you only to send you back to her. It's hurts too much."

"Then don't send me back." He took another step towards her and was surprised when she didn't move away. "Let me stay."

Kate closed her eyes as she felt her hands come up on her arms again. She wanted nothing more than to let him pull her back into his arms and back into bed and let the feelings of love and security wash over them both. But images from her dream came back and she knew she had to let him go…if only for her sanity.

"I can't." She said softly. "You need to leave…please." She was practically begging.

Jack took a deep breath feeling the pain in his heart get stronger. This wasn't fair, he thought to himself. Kate wasn't playing fair – she was using his love for her to push him away. "So, that's it? We don't see each other until…" Somehow he couldn't get himself to say the words 'Sarah's dead' , it sounded too morbid to be waiting for a tragedy to happened to be happy again.

Kate nodded but remained silent. The same thought going through her mind. "It's easier that way." She finally said.

Jack shook his head and laughed cruelly. "No Kate, it's not easier. You're just fooling yourself if you think that."

For the first time since he had walked up to her Kate looked up at him. "Maybe, but it's the only way." Without thinking she reached up and caressed his handsome face. "We'll find our way back to each other. I believe that." She told him.

Leaning into her touch he closed his eyes. "You promise?" he asked quietly.

"I promise." She replied. Opening his eyes he found Kate giving him a small smile. "Didn't you promise me the same thing when you gave me this?" She held up wrist to show him the bracelet he had given her.

Returning her small smile he nodded. "Yeah, I guess I did." He held her gaze for a moment longer not waiting to move.

Kate felt herself being pulled into his eyes drowning in the love in the brown pools that always seemed to fascinate her. For a reserved man his eyes seemed to always reveal so much about what he was feeling. And right now she could see all the love and desire he had for her. They would survive this, she told herself. She was sure of it. What she and Jack shared wasn't going to go away, not when she planned on nurturing it while they were apart. Besides they had the biggest bond a couple could have – a baby, a reflection of their love.

"You should go." She finally choked out. "Before it gets any later."

"You think maybe we could call each other…once in awhile? I mean if one of us is having a bad day…"He suggested.

Not able to completely cut off all ties, she nodded. "I guess a phone call here and there wouldn't hurt." She agreed. "I mean, if we're having a bad day…"

Satisfied for the moment Jack walked back over to the bed and slipped on his shoes. "Okay. I guess I'll go then."

Kate walked him out to the front door of the quiet apartment. As he stood on the other side of the doorway he turned and bent down and gave Kate a kiss. "I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." She whispered back and watched him walk to his jeep, jump in and drive away…the whole time with tears falling down her cheeks. Flying back into her room she dropped herself on her bed and grabbed the pillow he had been laying on and buried herself in it…crying herself to sleep.

TBC

Upcoming chapter: I'm not sure. Perhaps Jack and Sarah talk, or Kate will have dinner with Sawyer…or maybe she calls Claire or Jack's mother visits. I'm just not sure yet. But something will happen.