Well, we all make mistakes, dear, so just put it behind you. We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward into the future with us.

~ L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea

o-o-o-o-o-o

After Emmett's departure, the silenced pressed in on them again, heavy and awkward. This was not at all how Edward imagined his reunion with Bella going. "So, uh..." he started hesitantly. "What made you think I have a girlfriend?"

Bella gave him an incredulous look. "Your voicemail?" She answered, her tone dripping with derision. At the bewildered look on Edward's face, she clarified, the remembered pain manifesting as venom in her voice. "You know, the one you left after not talking to me for almost a month where you said you'd met a girl and you were in love with her, and you were having so much fun without me, and you didn't miss me at all? There was a lot of static, but I got the gist."

Edward's eyes were nearly bugging out of his head by the time Bella had finished her tirade. "W-what?! I never said any of that stuff. I talked about the people I'd met up there, and how you'd love them, but I wasn't having fun without you being there with me, and that I missed you to the point of pain," he rushed to explain, his voice cracking on the last word.

His obvious distress instantly cooled the fire in Bella's veins, and her posture slumped. "But... I saw the picture of you with her," she insisted weakly.

"Picture? What picture? Where did you see a picture of me with a girl?"

Though she'd always questioned whether she'd made the right call separating herself from Edward, this conversation was doing nothing to bolster her confidence that it had been a sound decision. Bella groaned and scrubbed her hands over her face, dropping heavily onto the bed. Edward settled on the edge next to her and waited for her to answer. Finally, she pulled her hands away from her face, staring at the ceiling as she spoke.

"After you moved, Ratchet moved into your old house, and we became friends. I was surfing her Facebook one day and was checking out her friend's page and saw pictures of you with a girl. It just looked like she was your girlfriend..." she trailed off.

Edward's mind was reeling, trying to sift through all the revelations of the past few minutes. He decided to ask the easiest questions first. "Who's Ratchet and why does her friend have pictures of me on Facebook?"

"Oh, right, you don't know Ratchet. Her real name's Rose. We call her Ratchet because she likes to work on cars and one day when Emmett pissed her off, she threw her wrench at his head. He won her over eventually though...Anyway, I think she said his name was Jasper?" Bella explained.

"Ohh," Edward breathed in realization, before confusion set in again. "So you saw pictures of me with Jasper and concluded I had a girlfriend?"

Bella huffed a self-conscious laugh, and corrected him, "No, the picture was of you giving a piggy back ride to a pretty blonde girl. I dunno, it just looked like the kind of thing a boyfriend would do. And then I got the voicemail that made it sound like you had found someone, so...I put two and two together."

Edward wracked his brain for any time Jasper would have taken pictures of him with a girl. Tanya and Alice had tried to set him up on dates during high school, but he'd flat out refused; he knew he'd left a piece of his heart behind when he'd left Bella, and it wasn't fair to the girls when he couldn't give them his whole heart.

"I don't...I can't think of any time I would have given a blonde girl a piggy back ride," he admitted. Bella shrugged a shoulder, embarrassed at having to admit all of this, especially after the revelation that Edward did not, in fact, have a girlfriend. He pulled out his phone and opened the Facebook app, going to Jasper's albums from when Edward had first moved to Alaska. He scrolled through the pictures, trying to find any instance of him with a girl.

Suddenly, he threw his head back and laughed. "This picture?" he chuckled, turning the phone so Bella could see the screen. She glanced up and saw the same picture that had broken her heart. Tears sprang to her eyes at his flippant reaction; how could he be so callous? She nodded feebly, feeling a traitorous tear slide down her cheek.

"Hey, why are you crying?" Edward whispered, shocked by her reaction. Bella scrubbed the back of her hand under her eyes and refused to meet his gaze. "Bella, I'm sorry, I wasn't laughing at you. It's just...that's Tanya. She's my cousin," he explained hurriedly.

At his words, Bella clenched her eyes shut, more tears leaking out of the corners as her mind raced to comprehend this revelation. But 'Tanya' was the name he said in his voicemail. Oh my God, his cousin? I let a staticky voicemail and a picture of his cousin convince me to cut him out of my life?

"R2, what's wrong?" Edward couldn't understand Bella's reaction. He'd gotten the impression she would be happy he didn't have a girlfriend, but her continued tears suggested otherwise.

"Oh God, 3PO," she sniffled, "I'm so sorry."

"What? Why?" he asked, bewildered. His heart broke seeing her unhappy, feeling like he was the root of the distress, and he couldn't resist the urge to pull her into his arms. "Shh, it's ok. It's no big deal," he soothed, rubbing her arm gently.

"It is a big deal," Bella insisted. Now that she realized the colossal error she'd made in her assumptions, she was mortified. Taking a deep breath, she knew she needed to tell him the truth. The words came slowly at first, then tumbled out faster and faster. "It's a big deal, because I saw that picture and thought you had a girlfriend. Ugh, and then that voicemail that I apparently really misheard. And then Lauren said...well...you know Lauren...and you had left, just like Mom, and I know it wasn't your fault but I couldn't quite separate the two no matter how hard I tried. Then when I talked to Dad he made the same comparison to Mom and told me it would probably be easier if I didn't hold on too tightly to people who were never coming back. Plus you never dated anyone here, and you'd only been gone a couple weeks and already seemed to have found someone there, so I figured it must have been because I was holding you back while you were here. So I just...let you go."

"You let me go..." Edward repeated slowly, trying to make sense of her rambling words. Suddenly, the pieces fell into place and he stiffened as realization dawned. "Is that why you blocked me on Facebook and ignored my emails?"

Ashamed, Bella nodded and dropped her head so her hair swung to cover her face.

"You...over...but..." Edward stammered, his mouth unable to keep up with his racing thoughts. He leapt to his feet and began pacing the floor as his hands raked agitatedly through his hair. He couldn't believe what he was hearing - was she seriously telling him that she'd stopped talking to him because she thought she'd been holding him back? Well, not entirely, there was a whole lot of other stuff in that rambling explanation, too.

He couldn't really blame her for the comparison to her mom; he'd promised he'd always be there, and it had killed him that he'd broken that promise, no matter that it was involuntary. And then the not talking to her thing...he recalled how frantic he'd been when he couldn't seem to get the technology in Alaska to cooperate, but his mom had told him she'd talked to Bella and all was well, so he'd thought that was enough and he had let himself relax a little. Apparently that was the wrong thing for him to do.

But then he'd called her, and she'd never called back. Ok, so apparently the connection was shit and the message she got was, like, the exact opposite of the message he had tried to leave. But the emails - he'd sent her emails, and she'd never replied. His mom, too. Then he'd tried letters, and they came back, unopened. He was hurt, but he wasn't masochistic, so he stopped trying, getting her message loud and clear.

But the girlfriend thing came out of left field. She'd never given him any indication that she'd felt more for him than platonic friendship. Had she? Could he have possibly been that blind? She certainly made it sound as if he was. Could this all have been avoided if he'd just told her he liked her? Fuck.

Bella could hear him muttering furiously, but couldn't make out any words. Finally he stopped pacing, coming to stand right in front of her.

"Look at me," he ordered gently. Grudgingly, Bella raised her eyes to meet his burning gaze. When their eyes finally met, he started addressing her speech, "I'm sorry I had to leave, and I'm sorry it brought back feelings of your mom leaving. The last thing I ever wanted to do was cause you pain, and I failed at that. And I'm sorry I didn't talk to you for, like, ever. But Mom said she'd sent you emails and you understood we were having trouble with phone reception and internet stuff - "

"I lied," Bella admitted, interrupting him. "I mean, I didn't think she'd lie to me, so I said I understood you guys were having troubles, but then a few days later I got that voicemail, so I figured, at least on your part, the lack of communication was intentional."

Edward shook his head vehemently. "Never. I was frantic to get in touch with you, but it was like the universe was conspiring against me. I don't even want to know what Lauren said to you, because she's a hag, and nothing she ever said about you was even remotely close to true. But, do you know why I never dated anyone here?"

Bella shook her head, and he continued, "You were right about one thing - it was because of you." At his words, Bella's heart clenched, her deepest insecurity confirmed. Tears welled in her eyes again and she dropped her chin to her chest with a choked sound of anguish.

Edward slipped a finger under her chin and forced her eyes to meet his again. "It was because of you," he repeated softly. "I didn't date because I couldn't imagine there was anyone more amazing than my best friend. I didn't date because I wanted to date you, but I was afraid to ruin our friendship if I asked you out and you said no. I didn't date because there was no one I wanted more than I wanted you."

By the time Edward had finished his little speech, tears were streaming down Bella's face. "Oh, God," she choked, burying her face in her hands. Edward swallowed heavily, nervous now that he'd revealed his feelings.

Finally, Bella lifted her face, her red-rimmed eyes meeting his soft green gaze. "There was no one I wanted more than you, either," she confessed, so softly Edward wasn't sure he'd heard her. "And I know there's no one more amazing than you. But I broke that. Oh, God. I just..cut you off for no fucking reason." Suddenly her eyes widened. "Why are you still here? You should run as far away from me as possible. I'm a stupid, cruel, pathetic excuse for a human being."

"Hey," he interrupted, his voice harsh. Bella flinched at his tone, dropping her eyes to the floor and wrapping her arms around herself protectively. "Ok, so it was a shitty thing to do. But you're not stupid, or cruel, and you're definitely not pathetic. Am I the kind of person who would be friends with someone like that?"

"No," Bella admitted. "But you probably didn't know; I mean, I didn't know I could be such a bitch. God," she shook her head, fresh tears sliding down her cheeks. "How can you even stand to look at me? I would completely understand you never wanting to speak to me again now that you know why I did what I did..."

"Oh, R2," Edward murmured, cupping her jaw gently in his hand and brushing her tears away with his thumb. "I have spent the last two years wishing I knew what the fuck I did wrong. Honestly, I'm a little relieved it was a stupid misunderstanding. I just...want you in my life. I'll always want you in my life. It's always been you."

Bella blinked owlishly at Edward's declaration. She'd heard his words, but was having a difficult time accepting their meaning. He should be screaming at me and storming out of the room, not wiping away my tears and smiling at me, she thought incredulously. As the sounds of the party drifted up the stairs, Edward smiled gently, knowing this was not the right setting for further discussions.

"You wanna get out of here? I can walk you home, and we can catch up somewhere that doesn't have mostly naked women staring at us," he offered.

Still trying to wrap her head around Edward's admission, Bella nodded slowly. "Sure...just let me..." she gestured towards the bathroom, and Edward nodded his understanding. After splashing some cool water on her tear-stained face, she and Edward made their way back downstairs. It felt like they had been upstairs for an eternity, but the party was still in full swing.

They wove their way through the throng of people to find their friends to let them know they were heading out. They found Emmett first, a beer in his hand and a pretty blonde girl clinging to his other arm. Bella raised her eyebrow at him, but he rolled his eyes and made a face, suggesting the attention from the girl wasn't welcome or reciprocated.

Edward awkwardly shoved his hands into his pockets as Emmett pulled Bella into a hug. "Be safe, Ducky," Emmett whispered. "If he hurts you again, I'll kill him."

"Thanks, but totally not necessary. I'll give you and Rose the full story later," Bella promised. "And stay away from Sorority Barbie. I'll help Ratchet throw things at you if you don't."

Emmett laughed and pinched Bella's waist, causing her to squeal and twist out of his grasp. When she turned back towards Edward, he was regarding her with a pensive, almost sad expression on his face. She didn't quite know how to interpret his look, so she announced, "Ok, I just have to find Angela now."

Edward nodded, and agreed, "That works out since she's probably with Ben and he's the one I'm looking for." At Bella's confused expression, he gripped the back of his neck in a nervous gesture as he explained, "Ben is my roommate."

Bella didn't know quite what to make of that revelation. "Huh. Small world," she offered lamely before heading back into the crowd. Edward's shoulders sagged in relief at having dodged some potentially tricky questions for the time being, and he followed her to find their friends.

When they found Ben and Angela, they were talking to a group of people that included the girls who had come up to Edward earlier in the night and a few other people Edward didn't recognize.

"We're gonna take off," Edward announced to Ben, who gave him a salacious grin; Edward just rolled his eyes. Angela glanced at Bella, and she nodded in confirmation, the two sharing a secret smile.

"Aren't you the guy who Jake punched earlier?" one of the girls in the group piped in, making Edward cringe. Angela glared at the girl but she seemed unphased.

"He didn't exactly introduce himself," Edward replied sarcastically, lifting a hand and rubbing his jaw reflexively.

"That took serious cojones, dude," one of the guys praised, raising his hand for a fist bump, as several of the others nodded.

Edward awkwardly bumped his fist against the boy's, grumbling, "Someone had to stop him from being such a total douche canoe. Anyway, we're out. See you later, Ben."

"Wait!" Leah called as Edward started to turn away. He glanced back at her, confused by her outburst. "We need to finalize those plans to study friction," she explained, innuendo dripping from her voice as she shot a challenging look at Bella.

Edward rolled his eyes. "I told you, I've got a group. You can meet up with us after next lecture if you really want to."

Leah pushed her lip out into what she hoped was a sexy pout. "Can I have your number in case I have questions if I start working on it before the group meets?" she tried again.

"Uh..." Edward stalled, glancing at Bella with a flustered look on his face. Bella bit her lip, nervous as to how he would respond to the girl. It was obvious to Bella that the girl wasn't really interested in working on homework, but she wasn't sure how Edward would react. Despite his words upstairs, she was still insecure when it came to him and his feelings for her.

Finally, Edward seemed to reach a decision, "We usually just use the class message boards. Just meet up with us after lecture Monday. Bella, you ready?" At her nod, he placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her away from the group. Leah scowled at Bella's back as they departed, crossing her arms in irritation.

o-o-o-o-o-o

A/N: *deep breath* Everyone ok so far? I know you've all been anxiously awaiting this talk. That Edward is a good guy, huh?