Chapter 13:
Perfect day :
Around 8 O'clock the two women were still on the sofa cuddling, Jane lying back against Maura, and Maura resting her head on Jane's shoulder her arms still around her waist. Everything was perfect until Maura's stomach decided to interrupt them.
"I think we should eat something." Jane suggested hearing Maura's belly screaming.
"Yes, I think so too. Even if I would love to be able to survive on cuddling, it's not possible."
"I know, how about you go take a shower and put something more comfortable on while I prepare something for us to eat?" Jane offered wandering her fingers on Maura's arm.
"Jane Rizzoli, are you suggesting cooking for me?" Maura joked.
"Or we can order in if you want, actually it might be safer, don't wanna take the risk of making you sick."
"It's alright I trust you, you're italian and you're your mother's daughter, I'm sure being a great cook runs in the family."
Maura was truly touched by Jane's attempt to do something nice for her. It was also reassuring to see that Jane wanted to do something normal, like cooking dinner and enjoying a nice evening. Maura was amazed by Jane's progress but knew that things might not always go that easily, she knew that Jane was still going to have dreams and flashbacks in the future but right now, life was good and she needed to learn to appreciate every single happy moment with Jane.
So Maura feeling confident that Jane had the situation under control, went the bathroom and drew herself a hot bath, had some of those wonderful bubbles soaps and a few minutes later slid into the bubble bath.
God it felt good. Maura always liked to treated herself with a bubble bath, some candles and some music especially after a hard day of work. Unfortunately after Jane was taken she lost the desire to treat herself. When Jane moved in with her, she could only take quick showers because she didn't want to leave her alone for too long. Today was different, things seemed to be going well, Jane and her kissed twice and let her go out for the afternoon, yes things were better.
45 minutes later, Jane who had prepared dinner already started to worry, so she decided to go check on her.
"Maura, are you okay in there?" Jane asked through the door.
"I'm fine, is dinner ready?" Maura replied .
"You've been in there for 45 minutes so yes, it's ready."
"Alright I'm coming just give me 5 minutes. " Maura replied getting out off the bathtub wrapping a towel around her.
A few minutes later Maura finally came out of the bathroom, fairly relaxed but still starving .
"You do smell good." Jane joked leaning against the wall in front of the bathroom.
"You didn't have to wait here."
"I did, come on, let's go have dinner, but I need to cover your eyes."
"Alright, I don't know what you have in mind, but I trust you." Maura replied imagining the kind of surprise Jane had planned.
So Jane guided Maura to the kitchen, covering her eyes with her hands.
"Here you go, you can open them ." Jane instructed as they entered the kitchen.
When Maura opened her eyes she almost didn't believe how gorgeous it was. Jane had turned off ut the lights and lit up some candles that she had placed in strategical places, she had laid the table with great taste, not to mentioned that it smelled incredibly good.
"Do you like it?" Jane whispered wrapping her arms around her waist.
"I love it Jane." Maura sighed.
"I'm glad, it's nothing fancy, just some pasta with my mother's famous sauce, I'm sure you're going to love it." Jane explained as she pulled out Maura's chair so she could sit.
"Thank you gentleman." Maura replied amazed by such chivalry.
As Jane was serving them their dinner Maura felt happy, but also a bit sad. The way Jane was treating her, with such respect and chivalry was overwhelming and she couldn't help but thinking that things could have been that good for a long time if either of them would have had the courage to act on their feelings. But tonight wasn't about regrets it was about having a normal date, with the woman she loved.
"Well enjoy your meal darling tell me if you need more salt." Jane said as she sat down in front of her.
"Thank you, this is actually delicious, I told you it ran in the family." Maura said taking a bit at her pasta.
"I'm happy you liked it, I'm warning you there's not a lot of dishes I can cook, but being italian pasta is a must."
"Indeed." Maura nodded.
The couple ate, talking about everything, and nothing like they used to. Having a normal meal together was important for both of them. It was a small thing, but it was significant for them.
An hour later the two women were full and decided to go to bed. After washing the dishes the two women made their way to their bedroom holding hand. They were about to enter their bedroom when Jane suddenly stopped.
"Is there something wrong?" Maura asked seeing the worried look on Jane's face.
"Do you mind if I sleep in the guest room tonight?" Jane asked bitting her lower lip.
"Why?Is there something wrong?Did I do or say something inappropriate?" Maura panicked.
"No, you didn't today was perfect, but I think it's more reasonable if I sleep in the guest room."
"I don't understand if today was so perfect for you, why would you sleep away from me?" Maura asked genuinely unable to understand Jane's behavior.
"Well normally after kissing, cuddling on the couch with me half naked and having a romantic dinner the next logical step would be….You know…"
"Oh, well I never expected us to take that step tonight, even if it would be indeed the next logical step after the perfect day we had. We're not here yet, and it's perfectly fine." Maura replied still holding Jane's hand looking deep into her big brown eyes.
"But you would want to right?"
"Of course Jane, you know I desire you, but as I said we're not there yet and I'm perfectly fine with the way things are going, don't worry about it." Maura replied trying to pull her inside the bedroom.
"I'm sorry but I can see it your eyes that you want to make love, and I can't sleep in the same bed knowing that you desire me. I know I provoked you by letting you touch me and kiss me, but I can't." Jane replied letting go off Maura's hand .
"Jane." Maura whimpered as she watched Jane walk away.
Maura stood there for a while wondering what went wrong. The day was so perfect and all the sudden everything just exploded on her face.
She wanted to clear things up with Jane but she didn't know if she should try, or just let her.
After much consideration, she couldn't let things go that easily, it wasn't Jane's fault, she didn't provoke her, it was Maura who started it by kissing her and touching her.
"I'm sorry to intrude it won't take long." Maura apologized as she entered the guest room.
"Maura, please."
"No Jane, just listen to me. You didn't provoke me. I desire you every time I look at you. I love you and I found you extremely attractive and being next to you has that effect on me. I'm the one who provoked you, I kissed you, I touched you, I'm sorry I didn't mean to confuse you or to imply that I wanted to have sex. "
"So you don't want to have sex with me?"
"Of course I do, but I never meant to make it that obvious and to push you. I know you're not ready, it's very clear in my mind that we still have a long way to go until we can make love and it's perfectly fine. From now on I'm going to restrain myself, I promise."
"I'm sorry, I just ….have issues welcoming your display of affection, it's so innocent and pure, without anterior motive. I'm not used to it anymore. You know when he came into the room where I was held I could see in his eyes that he wanted it and that he was going to do everything he wanted to me even if I didn't want to. With you it's different, I can see that you want me, but you don't act on it, it's unsettling I suppose. I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault, your perception of what's normal has been altered. I love you and I'm extremely proud of what happened today, you were so brave this morning and you cooked for me, I spent a wonderful night." Maura replied crawling in bed next to Jane without giving her the time to reject her.
"It was indeed wonderful. Please don't stop being affectionate, I like it, but you're right my perception of what's normal is altered but I'm thankful you're here to help me see things more clearly." Jane replied kissing the top of Maura's hand.
So guys what do you think?Jane is scared because Maura is showing display of affection and she noticed she wanted to sleep with her..I think that she's not used to someone who wants her but doesn't act on it, it's unsettling for her. I think Maura has issues resisting the need to touch her because she's attracted to her and because she thinks that if she doesn't act naturally Jane will fill rejected...They still have a long way to go, Jane's perception of what sex should be is seriously altered but hopefully Maura will help her see things normally again!