hey guys! Just needed to let you guys know that I have exams, so no updates this week, okay? :) I'll update as soon as possible, though. Thank you as always for your faves and follows and reviews!
Sorry to those who I didn't review to personally, I was away yesterday without internet. Let me reply here.
Jesus'girl4ever: he was. Oh well. ;)
StencilAngel (Guest): Well, at the current moment it would be impossible; HOWEVER, perhaps later something like that might happen. ;) thank you for your review!
DeLacus: oh well. :( hmmm, I don't know... *-*; glad you liked!
IMPORTANT: Erm... Please don't kill me for this chapter but... Total plot twist, I know. But for those of you Ancaladiel shippers (ship name courtesy of horseyyay), don't be too disappointed, I never said she wouldn't end up with Ancalagon. Review? *cringe*
Chapter 13
It's finally happened. Aradhel had taken Maeglin aside and told him she wanted to leave- to go back to Gondolin, to be exact. Predictably, Maeglin had readily agreed and then immediately come to me.
"You must come with us, Caladiel." He said, clasping my hand in his pleadingly. "I need you there with us. We need protection- and you cannot stay here. You've been with us all along, and I'm not leaving you here." He said firmly. Lately I had taken to remaining in an eighteen-year-old form, and therefore looked much younger than him.
I smiled up at him, a little sadly. "How much you have grown. Yes, I will go with you, for your sake." I answered, and he pulled me into a fierce hug. And that was that.
So that's how I had found myself slipping through the forest in the dead of night with Maeglin, Aradhel, Esgalnoron, and Faelon. Aradhel was riding on Esgalnoron, while Maeglin grasped a sword in his hand and I held Faelon up to give us light.
"Gondolin is in the mountains of terror." Aradhel said quietly. "But I'm not sure where they are anymore." She admitted.
"I do." I answered, holding Faelon higher. "I've passed them before, several times, in my travels. I'm not really surprised Gondolin is there. I should have guessed." I shrugged.
After more than an hour, we finally made it out of the forest in the direction facing the mountains. "We need to go that way." I pointed. "My lady, which direction is the entrance?" I asked.
"South." She answered wearily.
"Thank you. Please, my lady, rest. Esgalnoron will not let you fall. It is safe enough at the moment, I deem." I said, and she gave me a grateful smile before falling asleep.
"Caladiel?" Maeglin suddenly asked as we began our long trek.
"Yes?" I asked with a sigh.
"You never told me about your past before you came to us. Where do you hail from?" He asked. I stiffened.
For a moment I remained silent as we walked. Esgalnoron remained by my side, sending waves of calm across our bond. Faelon rolled lazily in my palm. Finally I answered. "I don't want to recall it, Maeglin." I answered quietly.
"Yes, Caladiel." He immediately answered, and I realized that I had startled him with my uncharacteristic coldness. "As you wish."
I gave him a warm glance. "It is not pleasant." I said by way of explanation, and he nodded back, face not disclosing any emotion.
The trip took months. Three, to be exact. Food was plentiful, for Esgalnoron could hunt game miles away and still bring it to us, while Faelon gave us enough light to see by, warmth, and fire to cook with. Water we kept in the skins we had brought with us, along with one flask of wine for emergencies. It was a difficult journey nonetheless, however.
I was taxed to my limits everyday in attempting to make new clothes from scraps of our old ones, trying to keep us from injury, making sure that Aradhel was well cared-for and lacked no food or water. Often I would go several nights without sleep for work and worry until I would collapse at the next campsite, leaving Maeglin to care for us until I could scrape up enough energy to get myself up and running again.
By the time we finally reached the path leading to Gondolin by Aradhel's instruction, I was utterly exhausted and near to the point of collapsing. To help myself and keep up energy, I had reverted to keeping myself in the size of a eighteen year old and had to have Maeglin help me walk upright. By this time, it was nearing wintertime.
We passed through the gates until we finally were stopped by the guards who easily recognized Aradhel and welcomed her joyfully. I walked about in a haze the whole way, barely aware of anything going on, just barely awake. I forced myself to hold my eyes open.
"Caladiel. Please, just a little longer." Maeglin whispered harshly in concern, and I nodded before sinking into an almost oblivious haze. Until I was shaken out of it by Esgalnoron nicking my leg with his claw. I let out a slight cry of pain and snapped out of my daze, opening my tear-filled eyes to see that we were in front of the whole court, with all of the lords of the twelve houses of Gondolin. King Turgon gave me a piercing look.
"Is it true that you are the one that helped my sister to escape the dark elf Eöl?" He asked, and I managed a fairly acceptable curtesy.
"Yes, my lord."I answered weakly. "Forgive me for my disrespect my lord, I am afraid that I am exhausted." I said. He relented somewhat and flicked a hand. A servant brought a small stool, which I sank onto gratefully with Maeglin's help. Aradhel was sitting next to Turgon.
"Are you wed to my nephew?" He asked, raising an eyebrow, and I started before starting to suddenly laugh, placing a hand over my mouth.
"Forgive me- no, my lord." I answered, still giggling, to the obvious displeasure of several of the lords, judging by their faces. "I helped to raise Maeglin." I said, sobering. Esgalnoron nudged my arm apologetically, and I absently rubbed his ears.
"I see. My apologies." Turgon answered, a small smile curling his lips as I noticed out of the corner of my eyes that Maeglin looked vaguely horrified and embarrassed. "And is it true that this- hound, is yours?" He asked.
"Yes, my lord. His name is Esgalnoron." I answered respectfully.
"I see. Well then, you have my thanks for all that you have done for my sister and sister-son. You shall stay here in my city, for no one is allowed to leave Gondolin once they have come." He said sternly. "I will see to your accommodations in due time." He added, and I stood and curtsied once more.
"I thank you, my King, for your generosity." I answered hoarsely, and then promptly shut my mouth. After all, most likely I would be out on the grill for interrogation after Eöl had been dealt with, assuming he had followed as was in the book.
"Come, my nephew, and sit my me." Turgon gestured to his side, but Maeglin hesitated, glancing worriedly to me. I tilted my head in the direction of the King.
"Go, my little prince." I answered, and he reluctantly climbed the stairs to sit on the dais. Then I noticed the scrutiny of the lords around me. Despite that we had traveled for so long, I had still managed to dress Aradhel and Maeglin in clothes acceptable for their ranking. But myself- I had been so tired that I was dressed in almost nothing but rags according to the elves. My unassuming lavender dress was wrinkled and torn at the hem, my natural glow dim and my hair tangled in front of my face.
Just then, there was a commotion at the door. A guard came in and bowed to the King. "My lord, there is an elf who came into our realm, claiming that the princess Aradhel is his wife and the prince his son." He said curtly, and the King raised an eyebrow at his sister, who turned white and nodded faintly.
"Then let us see him." Turgon answered, and the guard bowed before turning and marching to the door. Another guard grasped my arm and pulled me roughly to the side as I winced. Maeglin half-stood, anger burning in his eyes, but before he could say anything another lord stepped forwards.
"For shame, Norgaladir. She is a lady, one who has protected and has the favor of the princess Aradhel. Even had she been a kinslayer you should treat her with respect for the lady she is." He said sternly, and the soldier bowed with a murmured apology before relinquishing me to the elf, who held out his hand with a kindly smile. Esgalnoron stood by my side, hackles raised and a snarl issuing from his throat. I clamped a hand around his muzzle and he hushed, ears flattened. I curtsied.
"Thank you, my lord, even if I'm afraid I don't deserve your kindness." I said quietly, and he took my hand and pressed a kiss to my knuckles. For some reason, I'm not sure if I like that. His hair was the color of ink, a shimmering blue, and his eyes are deep blue. For some reason, I feel like I should know him.
"Nay, my lady, it is only proper. I am Ecthelion of the House of the Fountain." He replied smoothly, and I felt my legs almost give out at the name. As it was I felt the blood leave my cheeks, draining out of my very lips.
"Of course, my lord." I murmured weakly. "I am Caladiel." And then his answer was cut off as a violently cursing elf was dragged into the throne room. I turned to look, and my hand slipped out of Ecthelion's grasp.
Turgon stood and held out his hand to Eöl, who looked about with sullen wonder. Maeglin stood there quietly, his eyes also darting about here and there. I was also awed, but to be honest was too weary and tense to properly admire it.
"Welcome, my kinsman, for so I hold you. Here you shall stay at your pleasure and live as you will: only this I declare, that you not leave, for it law that no one that finds their way here shall leave once more." He said.
Then Eöl withdrew a step and his hand, making his refusal and insult. "...I care not for your secrets and do not come to spy upon you, only to claim what is mine- my son and wife and slave. Yet, if you have some claim to Aradhel your sister, then let her remain here in her gilded cage, where she will sicken as she did before. But my son I will not give up, and you have no claim to the one who owes her life to me for trespassing in my forests. Come, Maeglin, my son! Come, girl! I command you to come, and leave the house of mine enemies and slayers of mine kin, or else to be accursed!" He said, sending a withering glare my way. The King and other lords looked to me, but I just stood there quietly, face pinched. Maeglin answered not.
Turgon's face grew dark. "I will not debate with you, dark elf, for your sunless woods are defended by the swords of the Noldor alone. You wander there freely and not toiling in the dungeons of Angband by the allowance and vigil of our kin. And here, whether or not it is according to your pleasure, I am King, and you must abide by my laws. Here I give you choice for you and your son also; abide here freely, or die here." He said sternly.
Eöl stood there for a moment, glowering. Aradhel's face was white in fear, and despite that I knew what the King would say, I had almost fainted at the name of Angband and the memories of Morgoth that came with it. I wavered slightly. Maeglin still said nothing, though I, from experience, could see in his eyes that he was angry.
~Esgalnoron! What do I do? This is where Aradhel dies! Surely I cannot save her- it is too much...~ I begged advice. Before he could answer, I clapped a hand to my chest as a jolt rocketed through my heart.
Then Eöl moved suddenly and swiftly. "I choose the second, for both my son and slave! You shall not take what is mine!" He shouted, and from underneath his cloak drew a dagger and threw it at Maeglin. But I was already moving.
Esgalnoron slammed against my back helpfully and I was lurched forwards, hand outstretched. Aradhel had thrown herself as well, but instead of hitting her shoulder, the dart sank into my hand, piercing straight through it and coming out the other side.
I fell to the ground, screaming in pain. Eöl was wrestled into submission and bound tightly by many guards. The pain was gathering on the edges of my vision in a dark mist, and I felt the poison moving through my bloodstream slowly. I would have to use my light to purge it, but I was already so weak that I just sat there, clutching my hand and weeping, biting my lip so hard there was blood flowing down my chin.
Maeglin sat there stonily, saying nothing. Aradhel and another elleth with golden hair I guessed to be Idril rushed to my side. I held out my hand, stopping them. "Poisoned. Please don't touch, my lady, princess." I rasped, and then hauled myself to my feet somehow. Pain exploded.
Eöl was snarling as Turgon stood. "I should have known that you would betray me, witch. I should have killed you the moment you stepped in front of me, begging for sanctuary. I should have known that you would corrupt my son-"
"Silence!" Turgon roared. He turned to me. "Are you well, child?" He asked gently, and I pulled away from his outstretched hand.
Silence settled as I turned to Eöl. Slowly, I pulled the dagger out of my hand, gnashing my teeth as fire and torture went through my body. It came out with a sickening squelch as I dropped the dagger and blood spurted. I saw a guard get thoroughly sick on the floor by the doorway, and didn't blame him. My light flared as I exerted the little effort I had left, and I held out my pierced hand towards Eöl as it healed in front of his eyes. He turned white, and gasps went up from the hall.
"I was your slave for a time, willingly." I admitted quietly. "I was a slave ever since I can remember of my life, running from life to life, master to master. In the end, I came out alone and I came out free." I spat at him. "Say what you like about me, it's probably all true from your point of view. But do not call me a witch, dark elf Eöl, my former master! I served you well, protecting your son and wife from all harm for all these years that he grew up, and I protected and fed and cared for them these three months we ran from you here on request of my lady Aradhel!" I declared, raising myself as much as I could, letting the flame of Eru flare brightly.
"I kept obeying you, keeping them from danger with my life and my hound's, making sure that they wore clothes according to their rank while I went without sleep for a week at a time! I never disobeyed you, always listened to your orders. I cared for your son, raised him as the prince he rightfully is, loved him where you did not! And you dare call me witch: I- the vessel of the secret fire of Eru!?" I cried, exhaustion, pain, and frustration making me erupt.
"I resign, my master." I spat bitterly, falling to the ground and shaking, my light dimming almost completely. "Curse me, kill me, do what you want, in the end I am free." I said wearily, my bloodied hand falling to the side as blood splattered my chin. And then everything went black. My last thought was: why did you have to be so stupid, Celine, and go and blab all that!?
I am so dead.
_Silmarillion_Dark_Lords_Silmarillion_
Next time I woke up, it was to see someone above me, looking relieved. "You're finally awake!" She exclaimed, and I blinked wearily. "We were afraid you wouldn't ever wake up- it's been two weeks." Se said cheerfully, her golden hair swirling around end shoulders. I turned pale.
"T-two weeks?" I asked weakly, attempting to sit up. I fell back with a stifled cry, and the elleth leaped forwards.
"Oh don't get up!" She cried. "You need to drink this first." She lifted a cup to my lips, and I readily drank. Then she helped me sit up just as the door flew open. Maeglin walked forwards, dark eyes looking at me keenly as he sat on the edge of the bed.
"Are you alright, Caladiel?" He asked softly.
"I think so." I whispered, looking down morosely. "I was so stupid." I sighed. "Pae-channas. How could I had run my mouth like so-" I was interrupted in my self-deprecation by the King striding in with Aradhel.
"Are you well, Caladiel?" Aradhel cried, embracing me. I swallowed. She was alive. Not good. Why oh why had I been so utterly stupid!?
"Ye- no- yes- I don't know." I answered forlornly, too disoriented to say anything coherent.
"I thank you for saving my sister and nephew." Turgon stated. I looked up at him and then glanced away, frightened despite myself.
"It was my duty, my lord. Forgive me for my outburst, I had no right-"
"Silence, child." Turgon said, not unkindly. "If what you said is true, then you are to be highly valued and respected." He said.
"It is true." I whispered, not looking anywhere in particular. Maeglin grasped my hand tightly.
"Then you shall stay here in safety and be treated with honor as my ward." He said decidedly.
"P-please, my lord." I spoke up tremulously. He looked at me, eyebrow raised, I swallowed. "I know I have no right to ask of you anything, but..." I waited for him to give me permission to speak.
"I see no reason why you shouldn't. Speak, and if it reasonable I will grant you your request." He answered.
"I thank you for your generosity, my King. If it pleases you, I wish for nothing more than to live humbly under one of the Twelve Houses and work honestly." I said quietly, looking to him from under my eyelashes. It wouldn't be strange that I knew of Gondolin's layout and customs, for Aradhel had told us all about Gondolin.
"And why would you ask such a thing, child?" Turgon asked curiously, with no little incredulity.
"I am no one, my lord. I- I wish for no recognition, for all it has ever brought me is pain and grief. I merely wish to live somewhere where I can be mostly unassuming and useful, if merely to be a servant in someone's household." I answered honestly.
"Your wish is granted- however, on my conditions." Turgon said sternly. "I will not allow you to be a servant in any lowly household. I will ask if one of the lords of the Houses will take you in as their ward and you may live in their households under their guardianship." He said, and I ducked my head.
"Of course, my lord. That will be more than I could ever dream of asking for." I answered meekly. "I thank you, my lord. If there is anyway I could ever serve you with my small skills, I would be honored to serve." I added.
"As for that, child, I shall have to see what you can do." Turgon answered, sounding amused. He raised my chin with his fingers, and gave me a kindly smile. "You will be treated well here, child, never a slave. Be at peace." He said, and kissed my brow in the manner a King would to a vassal. And I knew, that if I ever gave a King my vassal ship, Turgon would be high on my list. Right after Arafinwë. And Finrod.
Turgon left, and Maeglin spoke up as soon as the door shut. "Why? Why would you ask for such a stupid thing?" He asked, sounding upset. "You are slave no longer, Caladiel. You should be with me." He said angrily.
"Because it was the first thing I thought of, Maeglin. It's not that I didn't want to leave you, but I can't stand being at the center of attention." I answered. "I'm sorry."
"Your apology is moot anyway, Caladiel. I am lord of the House of the Mole now, and I will bring you under my guardianship." He said, standing and walking to the window, arms crossed.
"What happened to...?" I didn't finish as Esgalnoron guarded my feet as I scratched his ears.
"Thrown off of the cliff." Was the terse reply from Maeglin.
"Oh." I answered uncomfortably, while Aradhel sat next to me quietly, looking down at her hands and Idril sat on a chair, listening interestedly.
"Are you really a vessel for the secret fire? It was said that my uncle Feänor had some of it in him." Idril spoke up curiously, and I rubbed my chest.
"Yes." I answered rather absently. "I am." My light glowed brighter. My hair was clean and white and silky once more, and I realized that someone had washed me and dressed me in a clean white gown.
"Truly fascinating!" She exclaimed. "What can you do?" She asked excitedly.
"Many things. Create things, fix things." I answered, and patted Esgalnoron. "Esgalnoron actually is a fire spirit for whom I made a form that he can change. And Faelon." I murmured, and suddenly wondered where my fireball was.
"Truly? Faelon is amazing." Idril said cheerily, and I saw that Faelon was perched on Maeglin's shoulder. Esgalnoron snorted.
~Spoiled brat of a fireball.~ He said sourly.
~Love you most, Esgalnoron.~ I said amusedly, and he growled slightly.
~I am not jealous. Merely noting that he is.~ He said curtly.
~And with that statement you prove the opposite, right?~ I answered with an affected laugh. He didn't deign to answer, though his ears twitched, showing amusement.
"Yes, he is." I whispered. Maeglin turned back around sharply, and gave me a thin smile. He didn't glance once at Idril.
"Rest, Caladiel. I won't have you getting sick. You were fighting poison because you were too weak to purge it completely." He said, and then strode out.
"He frightens me somewhat." Idril whispered. "Why is he so cold?" She asked. "He surveys me with suspicion."
"He was born and raised in Nan Elmoth under Eöl. It is his natural disposition." Aradhel said, almost sounding as though she was parroting it in unconscious defense.
"Are you well, my lady?" I asked, and she turned to me.
"I am well. My son is correct, you should rest." Then she gave me a regretful look. "I'm afraid I wasn't there for him, and therefore his heart has swayed more towards you than I." She said, and pain ricocheted through me.
"I'm sorry." I struggled with tears. "I didn't mean to become a wedge." I said thickly. "I should try to stay away-"
"Nay, do not do that, please." She said quickly. "He would not stand for that, and it is no fault of yours. I purposefully distanced myself, thinking that he would perhaps come to me in due time. It was my folly and error." She sighed, and then gave me a bitter smile. "I do not resent you, for you were ever good to him." She said, patting my hand. "And ever you have done us a good turn. I'm afraid perhaps I was unfeeling towards you throughout our journey." She said.
"Nay, my lady, I was but a servant. Do not concern yourself with me. Please, be happy, and forget me." I said wearily, my eyes closing as a testament to my poor health.
I did not hear her answer, if there was any, for I fell asleep again in a healing coma.
_Silmarillion_Dark_Lords_Silmarillion_
Again, when I woke up, it was to see that Aradhel was sitting by the window, and the King was speaking with her. My eyes slammed shut again as I listened quietly.
"She is weak, Turgon. She cannot decide now. Do not do this." Aradhel was protesting.
"She is fine, Aradhel. She will recover soon. She must decide as soon as possible. Ever since I have proposed her wardship to the lords of the Houses, there has been tensions as Ecthelion and Glorfindel fight against Maeglin for her. Apparently Ecthelion seems to recognize her or somehow feel drawn to her, and of course Glorfindel sides with him, while Maeglin claims her as rightfully his since she was his nanny." Turgon answered sharply.
My heart leaped into my throat. Oh Valar no, don't let this be happening. There is no one fighting over me, please. That is so Mary-Sue I want to scream. With a wince, I opened my eyes groggily and focused on Turgon and Aradhel, who were looking to me.
"You're awake." Turgon swept to my side, and placed a hand on my forehead. "Your fever has broken. Good. The poison has left. Now, child, can you think properly?" He asked calmly, and I opened my cottony mouth, attempting to swallow.
"Turgon!" Aradhel snapped, and lifted a cup to my mouth. I swallowed gratefully. "Let her awaken first, at least!" She said, and I shook my head.
"I am well, my lady." I said, voice slightly hoarse. "I hear you, my lord." I said formally, attempting to shake the cobwebs from my mind.
"Good." He said, more slowly and patiently this time. "I have presented your wardship before the houses, and three are attempting to claim you." He said. "Therefore, I have decided that you will choose." He said, and paused to make sure I was following.
"There is Ecthelion of the House of the Fountain, and siding with him, for they are gwedyr, is Glorfindel of the House of the Golden Flower. And against them is Maeglin of the House of the Mole." He finished. "It is your choice, child." He said. I thought for a moment, not wanting to choose really.
~Make him choose. Excuse of him being King and caring for the welfare of his subjects.~ Esgalnoron offered.
I sent him a grateful pulse. ~Thank you. I will do that.~ I answered. He grunted.
"Please, my lord, I do not know what to do. As King, you have the authority to settle disputes between your people, and you have my welfare and life in your hands- please, will my lord choose for me?" I asked softly, meekly, looking at him.
He sighed. "Very well, child." He said. "Then I will declare that you will spend a year in Ecthelion and Glorfindel's households, and a year in Maeglin's household, rotating every year." He declared, then gave me a piercing look. I inclined my head in respect and acknowledgement.
"Good. Now, tell me, Idril told me that you created Esgalnoron a form?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, my lord. He was a fire spirit that clung to me in mutual contract as companions." I answered. "Therefore we have stayed together." I said.
"And you can make clothes." He queried.
"Yes. As long as I have a small piece to work with." I answered slowly, struggling to form words.
"Turgon. She is wearying." Aradhel warned. He nodded at his sister.
"I suppose then I shall find out slowly what else you are capable of." He said, and I nodded, feeling my body slowly wake up, albeit wearily and aching. Then he stood.
"You move this afternoon as soon as I declare my decision." He said, and I merely nodded.
"My thanks, my lord." I rasped, and he brushed a hand across my brow before leaving. Aradhel sighed.
"He will not easily believe me when I say that you have been nothing but good. He thinks that you have some other motive." She said sourly. I felt a pang of guilt as I remembered that that was true, in a way.
"I work in the dark to serve the light, my lady." I answered with an amused smile. She nodded at my light.
"Apparently." She answered curtly, and then stood. I shall go, and then tell you what has been decided as soon as I can." She said.
"My lady?" I called. She turned her profile to me. "Thank you for your care." I said humbly.
"You are family to my son and I." She answered, and swept away. I sighed.
Faelon rolled into my room and onto the bed, expanding rapidly. Esgalnoron closed the door and made sure there was no one around.
"Ah, there you are, princess." Sauron said with a malicious smile.
"Hello, Ada." I said with a weak smile. He frowned. "Poisoned dart by Eöl. I'm fine, and I found it, Ada." I said hurriedly, and his face grew dark. "He's dead." I added hastily, and his face smoothed.
"Then that's fine, I suppose." He answered. "So you found it." He said.
"Yes. I'm supposed to be a ward of Aradhel's son." I added.
"Good. I'll just tell master that we think we're close." He said easily. "Expect a visit from me soon, in a way unexpected." He said, and then disappeared as another face took place.
"Hey Ancala." I said with a weak smile.
"Poisoned dart, hmm? What stupid thing did you do this time?" The dragon asked.
"Threw myself in front of it in a 'heroic' move to save the princess and her son." I answered sarcastically, and he smirked.
"Well wonderful. Now don't be gone too long, Caladiel. I admit I'm missing your presence to liven things up." He said lazily, leaning back.
"Whatever." I answered, too tired to care. "Any new recruits?" I asked.
"Yes. One more dragon." He answered. "Six dragons and one Balrog and one Maia." He said.
"Good." I sighed. "I have to go, Ancala." I said, and then gave him a weak smile. "Tell Ada I love and miss him. Miss you too." I added out of habit. The look he gave me was rather puzzling, though, as if he was doing a double-take or seeing me in a new light. Then it was gone.
"Whatever. Be safe." He waved a hand, and Faelon shrank. I slumped, dragging a hand through my hair. I had to stay awake. I was not going to fall asleep again.
It was a long wait. Esgalnoron sighed. ~I don't like the look he gave you.~ He growled.
~I don't even know what it means.~ I answered grumpily. ~It's like he knew something I didn't or something.~ I said sourly.
~Exactly. And I don't know what he thinks of you. For all that he said he'd be your brother, I don't think he sees you as that so much as does as some kind of thing to add to a hoard, if he even has one.~ He said dubiously. ~Obsessive. As does Sauron.~ He added.
~Please don't talk about it. I hate my life right now.~ I said with a sigh, and he nudged me.
~It'll be alright. Have you forgotten? You're the vessel of light for Eru, connected to Him intimately. He has urged you to do what you have already done, and He'll see things through.~ He answered. I smiled weakly.
~I keep forgetting you were- are- a Maia, Esgalnoron.~ I said with a smile. He snorted.
~Well I would be if I had given allegiance to any Vala, anyways. As it is, I didn't have a chance to.~ He answered noncommittally.
~Yes~ I never got to finish as Aradhel came in hurriedly.
"It has been decided. Neither party is particularly happy, but they're satisfied enough. You're leaving as soon as Ecthelion gets here, because he won the right to have you first." She said, beginning to bustle over to me, when suddenly Ecthelion strode through the door.
"Thank you, princess. I will take her." He said with a bow, and Aradhel frowned at him. Before she could say anything, however, he walked over to me and bent down, removing the covers and picking me up bridal style. I was unable to do anything, too weak and going limp in his arms. Esgalnoron walked nonchalantly to the window and then began to shift, while Aradhel let out a startled exclamation.
A Phoenix hopped across the floor, picked up Faelon, who buried himself in Esgalnoron's feathers, who perched on my shoulder. Ecthelion said nothing, merely nodding to Esgalnoron and then turned on his heel and strode down the hall.
Aradhel hurried after. "Lord Ecthelion, are you sure that she is fit for this? She is still weak." She said worriedly.
"Yes, my lady. She will be well-cared for in my household and Glorfindel's." Ecthelion answered curtly but politely. I said nothing, almost too afraid to say anything. This place was foreign to me. I was afraid of Ecthelion. What was this all about? Why does he act like he knows me? He is not at all like I thought he would have been. Aradhel said nothing, just following after.
We finally arrived somewhere, and Ecthelion moved decidedly through hallways and doors. I shivered slightly, for there was a cold draft coming through windows and doors open to the outside. It was snowing outside. Ecthelion noticed, his keen, deep blue eyes taking note. He drew a fold of his thick cloak around me, wrapping me in it and cradling me underneath it. I was afraid of him. Of his touch, so sure, as though he had touched me before- as though his fingers were familiar with me.
"Ecthelion, princess." A new voice hailed, drawing closer. Ecthelion strode on. The voice reminded me of a vestige of spring, cheerful and golden.
"Lord Glorfindel." Aradhel answered, sounding disturbed. Ecthelion merely nodded curtly. Glorfindel?
A new figure came into my sight as he stepped into stride with Ecthelion, looking down at me. I looked up at him mutely, afraid and cold. He had golden hair like it was pure, molten gold. His eyes were as blue as the sky, and I suddenly remembered my best friend, who had fangirled over Glorfindel so badly that I considered her a rabid fangirl. His sapphire eyes studied me carefully and kindly.
"So this is her." Glorfindel said with a kindly smile at me. I said nothing. He reached out slightly, pressing a hand gently to my forehead. Ecthelion stiffened slightly but said nothing. "It is good to hear that your fever has broken, Caladiel." He said softly, and I hung my head.
"Caladiel, are you well?" Aradhel asked. I turned to look at her, my eyes showing my emotions.
"Lord Ecthelion, please, she is frightened." Aradhel pleaded as Ecthelion suddenly turned into another room. Aradhel was right. Celine was coming to the front now, Caladiel fading away slowly but surely. Ecthelion stopped and stiffened, and I could feel his jaw ticking.
"She will be safe here." He answered stiffly. He sounded defensive to me. "There is no reason for her to fear." He said.
"Then why won't she speak!?" Aradhel answered, and I noticed that we were in a room. There was a bed with white sheets and blue pillows and a blue quilt on it. On the ceiling hung several mobile-like decorations made of delicate seashells and pieces of colored glass. The walls were painted a pale baby blue, and there was a wooden desk and chair on one side of the room. A shelf of leather-bound books sat against one wall. It reminded me painfully of my room back at Earth, in a more archaically tastefully way.
"Can't you tell she is afraid? She is silent, and she shivers!" Aradhel cried, and Ecthelion turned, placing me into the bed after pulling back the colors. I trembled as his fingers lingered on my shoulders as he pulled up the cover. Glorfindel sat on the edge of the bed.
"It is merely shock, my lady. I promise you, she is safe here." Ecthelion answered more calmly. Glorfindel raised his hand, pushing a lock of hair behind my pointed ear as I retreated into the pillows and Esgalnoron. Faelon rolled onto Glorfindel's shoulder, apparently drawn to the elf, who smiled cheekily at the fireball.
"Fine." Aradhel threw up her hands. "If she regresses, call me. I shall send some things for her." She said in frustration, sending me a reassuring look before marching back out.
"Ecthelion, Mellon nîn, she is right. What do you hope to do by this?" Glorfindel asked, placing a hand on my cheek in concern as I looked at him mutely.
"Glorfindel." Ecthelion snapped, and turned to the desk, picking up an elaborate diamond paperweight before setting it back down, repeatedly doing mechanically it in agitation.
Glorfindel sighed, standing and towering over me. I scooted to the edge of the bed in sudden fear, afraid of these elves. In Angband I had known that I didn't need to worry about orcs and things, for I could kill orcs if necessary and no one would dare touch me for fear of being killed by either Sauron or Morgoth.
I had no such reassurance here. I was alone, and I was vulnerable. And what's more, I wasn't even Caladiel anymore. My personality was changed, and I had no idea who I was anymore, and it was frightening me. A past was seeping into my present, and the present was melting into the past, until I wasn't sure who or where I was anymore.
"I know what you think, Mellon nîn, but you know that I think you are mistaken." Glorfindel sighed.
"I am not mistaken." Ecthelion answered heatedly. "I would never be wrong about such a thing." He said, placing the object in his hands down and turning back.
"If you say so, gwador." Glorfindel dropped it, walking out. "Turgon is waiting for us, you know, so hurry up and come." He added before disappearing. Esgalnoron flew to the headboard of the bed, ruffling his feathers.
Ecthelion took a deep breath and then moved to me, sitting on the edge of the bed. I said nothing, still curled in the corner by the wall. He sighed, reaching out and stopping himself. "I promise no harm will come to you here, Caladiel." He promised. "I will not let you go again this time." He said determinedly. I felt confused. Was he confusing me with someone else? I don't understand.
"Please, don't be afraid of me." He begged. "I know that the first time I scared you, but you trusted me afterwards. Give me another chance." He said, and I felt pity in my heart. I uncurled, and wearily unraveled on the bed. He reached out and touched my cheek, and I said nothing at all. His hand reached out further, and cupped my cheek, rubbing a thumb across it in almost practiced motion. It scared me. It was too familiar. I retreated.
He abruptly stood, and then after a moment, left. Esgalnoron fluttered down to my shoulder, and I pulled him off, hugging him. He squawked, flapping until he was more comfortable.
~Are you alright? What's up with him?~ He asked.
~I- I don't know, Esgalnoron. I'm not Caladiel anymore, I don't think. I- somehow I remember him from before! I don't understand, Esgalnoron! The past is the present, and the present is mixing with the past. Nothing's clear anymore.~ I said, not making sense even to myself.
~What?~ he asked incredulously.
~I don't know. It's like I suddenly have memories from some other life or time.~ I said desperately. He suddenly stiffened. ~Esgalnoron?~ I asked.
~Wait. Memories from another-? Oh Valar.~ He muttered. ~ Not good.~
~What!?~ I cried.
~Caladiel, you are shifting dimensions!~ He yelled in my mind. Which turned out to be necessary, because his voice was going all hazy. ~You set this dimension on the right track, and now you're moving to another dimension that's gone all wrong! Eru is using you to set the incorrect dimensions straight by shifting you through each dimension!~ He shouted.
I felt dizzy. "What about me in this dimension?" I asked, confused.
~I don't know, although I think that you'll remain here as someone else totally separate. You're not going to remember anything from this dimension, Caladiel!~ Was the last thing I heard before everything went black.