Chapter 12

The journey was rough going, and that was putting it mildly. Psyche was smart enough to ration her food, though that left her feeling hungry more often than not. Even with rationing, she only had one small bit of dried, salted meat left in the sack. She had found a drinkable river, but it flowed south, not west, and west was where her husband was. She filled the water-skin she had been given and rationed that as well. It would not be enough, what little food and water she had, all she could do was hope, hope and pray.

She felt weak, light headed, but determined. She walked west as she was told, but some days she became so dizzy that she could not remember which way to walk. She would sit down and begin crying, knowing she was lost, alone, hungry, with a growing thirst and a broken heart. She wondered why Eros had left the day he saved her, she wondered if he were still watching her, if he still loved her.

That one thought plagued her like no other, wondering if her husband still loved her. His love was like oxygen, it was beauty, what gave her life meaning. She remembered everything, after all, how could she forget the most meaningful months in her existence? That first month she felt him, the weeks after he made himself known and they shared their first kiss, the month they spent together as husband and wife. Eros was constantly on her mind, and oh, how she longed for his touch, for him to be walking beside her, holding her hand once more. She felt him, even now she felt him slowly withering away. How she was not constantly a nervous wreck was beyond her. She prayed for Eros even more than she did for herself. She wanted him to live, even if it meant she could not be a part of his life.

That night, Psyche made note of where the sun set behind the clouds, and then found a place to rest, pulling her cloak around her tighter as she curled up beneath it. The moon appeared through a thin veil in the overcast sky, a ring of color surrounding the bright moon like a halo. Eros was all she could think about, same as every other night. Her whole life, her future and her child's future depended upon her succeeding, upon Eros forgiving her. She wanted him there when their child came into the world. She wondered if Eros knew she was carrying their child? She took a shaky breath as tears came, blurring the sight of the moon.

"I love you Eros." She whispered into the night.

She had to be with him again, she needed to feel his lips that brought her to life, she needed to feel safe and loved within his embrace. She loved him. He was more than a man, more than a god. He was a way of life, he was her world, her soul, her heart. Everything she was still belonged solely to him, and she wanted it no other way. She knew she was the cure, she was what would save her Eros. She could not even consider him dying, she began to panic every time the thought came near to crossing her mind. She would not stop until she sees him again, until she finds him.

She would continue on, no matter what it took. Tonight, she would sleep, and then she would rise with the sun as she did every morning. She would stand and start walking in the opposite direction the sun rose in, stopping only when her other option was falling down.

Time passed in a strange manner for Psyche. She had lost track of the days she had been walking. All she knew was that she was hungry, her throat was raw and sore. Her body was already beginning to waste away, her face becoming gaunt, her lips dry and cracked, her bones beginning to show through her skin. She was growing weaker by the day, and yet every morning she woke and began walking again.

This walking gave her time to think over the things she had done. Her mind seemed to randomly bring to light every wrong she had ever done. From stealing her sister's favorite ivory and gold comb, to when she used to sneak sweets as a child. Then, her worst offence would come to her mind, playing out over and over again, her betrayal of the man she loved more than life itself. She grew less and less certain by the day that Eros would ever forgive her. Then she made a solemn vow.

If Eros would not have her back, she would accept that, she would let him go. Seeing her again, perhaps it would make something shift within him, give him a reason to live. If nothing else, when this child is born, she will place him or her at their father's feet and ask him to take care of their child. Perhaps this child will give him something to live for, perhaps this child could save his life.

Time continued to pass. Psyche's mind wandered, her body grew tired as she did what she could to follow the sunset. Her movements were almost mechanical, as if something other than her will was making her feet move in the direction she was meant to go. She could not register the pain in her cracked and blistered bare feet, she had become accustomed to the pain, to the hunger, to the thirst. It was almost as if she had forgotten there was once a time when her every need was attended to. Psyche was most definitely not the woman she was just a month ago. In fact, how drastically she had changed in the five months since her suitors left her would have scared her in different circumstances.

She had traveled over mountains and foothills, through cold rushing rivers, through days of blistering heat that made her feel as if she was about to pass out. Psyche nearly cried when she came upon such a sight the following day. It was a small spring hidden in the forest, and around it were pomegranate trees that were loaded with their fruit, which was ripe for the plucking.

She would have cried if her tear ducts had enough moisture to provide tears. The first thing she did was drink deep of the water, filling her stomach to the brim. Who knew cool, clear, clean water could be such a treasure? She stood and plucked a ripe pomegranate from the tree, ripping it open with her nails and devoured the garnet colored, jewel-like seeds within. Their sweet crunch made Psyche begin to cry, and this time, tears came.

She spent the night in this sanctuary. And the next morning, for the first time in what felt like lifetimes, Psyche did not wake up hungry or thirsty. And that fact, which at one time in her life would have meant nothing, suddenly gave her something else. Hope. She knew she could do this, no matter what it took. She drank as much water as she could and ate a pomegranate for breakfast. It was almost too much food for her stomach to hold after having eaten nothing for so long.

She filled her water-skin with as much as it could hold, and then plucked at least a dozen pomegranates from the tree and placed them within the sack she had, filling it to the brim. It was a heavy load, but one she was grateful to bear. Yes, as Psyche walked away from that sanctuary, she had hope. Eros still lived, she would find him, that was all that mattered. She felt alive with purpose, with hope and determination. For the first time in a long time, Psyche smiled as she went on her way.

But little did she know, she was going the wrong way. It was a zigzagged pattern she had traveled in, and it had taken her far off course. Now that she had food and water, she could finally focus on the direction she was going in, though she had knew not of the name of this land she walked upon.

Author's Note: Ah I love posting so many chapters so often! And thank you all for your reviews, they make me smile, bring me joy and keep me writing!

Also, the Preface would fit into this chapter at some point. I was going to put it in, but I saw no point since you have already read it.

Love Jasmine