Letters to Juliet
Chapter 13
"I think, therefore I am"
When night came, in my bed, in the dark
Fear came back with its lot of nightmares
The slumber left it's place to white nights
While my memories took their revenge
Your ghost came to haunt me
And the frozen thought of having losing you, came to freeze me
I shudder at the idea that my heart become stone
A scarecrow deprived of dreams, soul and flesh
So like the curse of a witch,
My lips whisper in different ways
That spell you haven't heard from the window,
Even though I was screaming it with all my being
I love you my love, I love you forever!
By my friend Glynda08
Candy had dried her tears. Ever since Terry had reappeared in her life, she kept thinking about what went wrong. Terry wasn't a boyfriend with whom she had spent a few weeks, he was her best friend. She had known him since she was 12 years old. Her brother Anthony was always surprised to see the interest Terry had for her. He practically had to beg him to come with them, when Anabeth, his girlfriend would bring one of her friend or cousin for double dates...
She started remembering…
It was one of those weekends, when Anthony would have a pool party at their house. Candy had a boy from her class with her, they had to work on "Romeo and Juliet" for a school assignment in English class, his name was Tom. While they were in Candy's room studying, she couldn't help looking out the window at her brother and his friends… Terry was there too…
- You want to make a little pause? Asked Tom.
- All right, said Candy
- You want me to go get some treats? He asked
She saw that Tom was tired of studying.
- Go, you should find enough food in the kitchen or by the pool where my brother and his friends are.
- All right, said Tom getting out of the room.
Candy went to the window to look at those young people around the pool. There was a redhead with big boobs or was it the top of her bikini that was too small? Terry was in the pool, he was swimming, he swam so well, like the athlete that he was. She thought he was perfect. She smiled. She loved him so mush! Like he felt her looking at him, Terry finished his crawl and got out of the pool. He took a towel which was there on a long chair to wipe himself. He saw the redhead making a beautiful smile at him, but he ignored her and walked to Candy's bedroom window which also had a little balcony.
- He jokes about scars from wounds he's never felt.
Candy enters on the balcony.
- Wait! What light is that in the window over there? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Rise beautiful sun and kill the jealous moon, which is already sick and pale with grief because Juliet, her maid, is more beautiful than she. Don't be her maid, since she's jealous. The moon's virginity makes her look sick and green, and only fools hold on to their virginity. Throw it off. It is my lady. Oh, it is my love. Oh, I wish she knew I loved her. She's talking, but isn't saying anything. Why is that? Her eyes are speaking. I'll respond—no, I am too bold. It's not to me she speaks. Two of the most beautiful stars in the sky had to go off on some business, and begged her eyes to twinkle in their place until they return. If her eyes were in the sky and the stars were in her head the brightness of her cheeks would overwhelm the stars just as daylight outshines a lamp. And her eyes in the night sky would shine so brightly that birds would start singing, thinking it was day. Look how she leans her cheek against her hand. I wish I was a glove on that hand so I could touch that cheek.
Candy smiled and looked at him under the balcony and she said:
- Oh, my!
Terry looked at her smiling and he continued:
- (to himself) She speaks. Speak again, bright angel. For tonight you are as glorious as an angel, shining above my head like a winged messenger from heaven who makes mortals fall onto their backs to gaze up in awe as the angel strides across the clouds and sails through the air.
- Oh, Romeo, Romeo, why must you be Romeo? Deny your father and give up your name. Or, if you won't change your name, just swear your love to me and I'll give up being a Capulet.
- (to himself) Should I listen longer, or respond now to these words?
He stopped and looked at her smiling. With his wet hair, Candy was melting some more, it was bearely possible. The look he gave her was the one of a man in love. Maybe she imagined it in her mind only, she was dreaming, a girl could dream,couldn't she?
- How's your little interlude with your boyfriend?
- My what? Said Candy surprised
Her boyfriend? He was jealous? She was happy in her heart.
- Your boyfriend…
- Tom?
- I don't know his name…
- I'm informing you…
- It's not important. Isn't he a little young for you?
- Comparing to whom? Comparing to you Romeo?
- Neither, pretty virgin, if you hate one or the other.
Candy smiled.
- Oh Romeo…
- Are you done flirting with my little sister Romeo? Said Anthony from afar.
- I have to go Juliet…
- We're just analysing some text…
- And you learn the role…
- I really love this story a lot, as sad as it it… go back to your bimbo…
- That's Anabeth's cousin or her friend, I don't remember… Your boyfriend is coming back with your snack…
- TERRY! Yelled Anthony.
- Make a little effort, she's cute…
- She's ok. She's not as cute as you though…
- She kinda got that boob-thing going for her…
- She can get into R rated movies…
- I'm growing up you know that…?
He looked at her smiling and he went to Anthony and the others. Tom came back in the room with a tray full of hotdogs, corn on cob, potatoe salad, fruit juice. Candy gave him a big smile. Terry had just made her day better and from that moment, "Juliet" became her nickname for her and he was Romeo… They were on the same wave length…
oOoOoOoOoOo
Terry remembered how he started to call Candy "Juliet:. Anthony had called him Romao and had stopped teasing him in front of Anabeth and her cousin. But when they were alone…
- I can't believe you'd rather have Candy's company that all the girls Anabeth brings you…
- Well I like talking to Candy.
- No, I didn't notice! You're neglecting girls your own age for a kid!
Candy wasn't just a kid for Terry she was his best friend, she knew his secret about his mother's identity… Growing up, she had become the woman of his life, the one for whom she would wake up every morning. The one he was trying to conquer… He could simply say that what had happened was in the past, but… he wanted her to come back to her because she loved him.
oOoOoOoOoOo
After the disastrous meeting with Terry and his wife at Anthony's wedding, her reception was cut short. Her whole world had fallen apart. She left for Europe to back pack, camping outside most of the time. She needed a change of scenery; she needed to forget about Terry. But since she was 12, she thought about him every night. His absence, the fact that he didn't keep any of his promises and that he came back married to another woman, hadn't changed anything at all. She loved Terry, she loved him at 12, she loved him at 16 , she loved him at 18 and she still loved him at 23, if not more than before. She decided to concentrate on her writing before going back to college to continue her schooling. Everything she had written during her back packing in Europe, she managed to sell it to a non profit organisation and she barely made any money, but she was happy that her work could help the tourists.
When she came back to America, she was courted by a guy name Cole Howard and she started dating him. The first time she took him back home to introduce him to her parents, Anthony was there to have dinner with their parents with his wife Anabeth who was expecting their first child. Dinner was fine. Cole was very likeable. After dinner, Anthony took Candy in the garden where they had rose bushes.
- Candy, what are you doing?
- What? Don't you think Cole is likeable?
- Yes, he is even very likeable… and he vaguely reminds me of someone…
- Really? Who?
- Terry…
- Because he's got the British accent? No!
- It's not just the accent, Candy and you know it…
- I'm dating Cole because I like him…
- He's a pale imitation of Terry!
- Stop saying that, Anthony! I thought you would be happy for me!
- He's a daddy's boy…
- Terry…
- Was independent and he could do without his father's fortune…
- Well well well, you weren't such a fan of Terry back in the days…
- He was older, that's all, now that you're legal…
- You'd like to see me with your best friend. But there's only one thing, Antony; he's married!
Anthony didn't reply. Candy felt like he wasn't telling her everything…but she didn't insist and he didn't either.
- I hope you're happy.
- You don't believe one word of that…
- All right! I hope you open your eyes in time…
Candy burst out laughing. She didn't realised until Anthony said how much Cole "looked" like Terry, starting with his accent…What was she doing? She wanted to replace Terry with a man that looked like him? Well, she was happy… Cole was in love with her and he proposed to her. She said yes… but as time passed and the wedding date was getting closer, the idea seemed less appealing to her… So she ended up breaking up her engagement at the last minute, to Anthony's great pleasure.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Terry was still with his wife. They went to live in London where his magazine had given him his job back.
One day during a routine visit to the doctor, they got the diagnostic. Susanna had a brain tumor the size of a grapefruit inoperable. She only had a few months to live.
Terry didn't know if he should feel sad or relieved. As a good Christian, he couldn't rejoice of the death of his wife. Even if it was the woman who prevented him from getting Candy back when he got out of prison. The sensation was horrible to wait for someone to die. Terry had forgiven her and he behaved like a good husband. And while she was sick, he had managed to make her accept Christ…
- I was lucky to have fallen on a good Christian… you're not angry at me? She said
- Susanna…
- You should hate me. I prevented you from being with the woman you loved, the woman who didn't know you were in prison. The woman you took me for…
- But how? Said Terry surprised
- You just confirmed it, she said smiling, but I've read all the letters you wrote on your computer. I'm sorry for snooping in your stuff, but I wanted to get to know you better, to try to understand you… since I don't have much time left.
- Don't think about that. You want to do something for me?
- Anything you want my have made me very happy, even if you were forced to stay with me. Please forgive me. You lost Candy by my fault… If you show her all these letters after my death…
- Susanna, since you don't have much time on this earth, would you like to accept Christ in your life as your Lord and personal saviour?
- You know, I've always wondered how you didn't strangle me when you learned that I lied to you about Amnesty International… now I see that it's because you're a good Christian. You gave me back good for the bad thing I did to you…
- Susanna, you got me out of prison and I will always be grateful.
- What is there after death? Some people say that there's no hell, that we will all go to paradise like that French singer Michel Polnareff…
- If I were you, I wouldn't trust much the words of a man who shows his butt…
Susanna burst out laughing. Terry smiled and he continued.
- I can't say with certainty what's after death, Susanna. But don't you want to be ready, just in case?
- Maybe I'll go to the purgatory…
- Not book in the bible talks about purgatory Susanna. It's when you're alive that you can save yourself, not after, after, it's too late. I want you to be ready…
- In fact, I've got nothing to lose… if I believe what you're telling me, we either go to Christ or… there's no purgatory to purify us for the paradise?
- I read the whole Bible, no book talks about purgatory, Susanna.
- Some religion say when we die, we cease to exist. That we will all resurrect in a paradise on earth at the end of time and the bad will go to the lake of fire…
- Even if that's the case, you want to wake up to go to paradise, don't you?
- All right darling.
- You have to do it for you, not for me…
- I should've been angry, but I'm nor. It's because of you, Terry. Your presence in my life transformed me. I stopped throwing tantrums. I had everything I needed with you. You're the best husband, the best lover. I want to be like you, even if it's only for a little while…
Terry smiled.
- Then repeat after me. Lord Jesus, please forgive me for all of my sins.
- Lord Jesus, please forgive for all of my sins.
- I want you to come into my life and be my Lord and personal saviour.
- I want you to come into my life and be my Lord and personal saviour.
- Amen.
- Amen.
Susanne smiled.
- That's it?
- Yes. That's it.
- What do I do now?
- You can read the Bible, we're going to pray and discuss together.
Was the brain tumour? Any way, Susanna was a new person. He talked to her of the Bible and of God. She started multiplying her charity work.
- Susanna, but weren't you doing it before?
- Yes, but before it was almost like an automaton when I was doing it. It was kind of part of obligations… now, I'm doing it with all my heart…
On day she even told him:
- You can go to her, you know? My parents are going to take care of me…
- You're my wife Susanna. There is no way I'm abandoning you in your state… for better or worse, in sickness and in health.
- But Terry…
There was no way he as leaving his wife to got to Candy. He wouldn't be able to look her in the eyes and tell her that his wife was dying of a brain tumor…
- I feel so guilty for what I did…
- There's a reason for everything in this world. It was said that I would spend this time with you to lead you to Christ…
- You're not angry?
- I forgave you a long time ago, Susanna, otherwise my prayers wouldn't be going anywhere.
Susanna was crying. Terry took her in his arms to console her. Susanna made it so that her fortune be used to help those who couldn't pay for their medical bills and for cancer research.
When she left this world one beautiful morning in his arms, he was sad, because a life was gone. Anthony and his wife had come for Susanna's funerals. Since he had just lost his wife, he didn't talk about Candy. After a year of widowhood, he seemed to be hesitating. His sister asked him when he was going to start to live again.
- I'm a widower!
- Oh stop it! You have to continue living… but you're still thinking about her right? You still love her? Tell her and get back together.
- She thinks I betrayed her.
- You did betrayed her, even if it wasn't voluntarily, but you still betrayed her.
- I don't want to bother her life…
- You're scared…
- No…
- Yes, you're scared you're going to be able to convince her… if a guy brought me a story like your, I would fall in his arms very fast!
- You don't understand. Candy was first and foremost my best friend, she had a crush on my, I thought it was cute, she was mature for her age, I loved talking with her…
- You told her your secret?
- Yes…
- And she hadn't told anyone else? She's trustworthy… But it makes me sick to see you honor a woman who lied to you… all my letters to Amnesty International… She took the file and… Then I learned that you were free and married to the American Ambassador's daughter! She took your file with her lawyer…
- Let's not talk about that anymore, please…
- Prison had made you softer, you forgave her.
- I'm going to quote Nelson Mandela: " If I continue being angry at Susanna and all those guards and those who put me in prison, I would still be in that prison…"
- Anyway, you've become wiser…
The phone rang and it was Anthony.
- Candy is back and she's back in school…
- Really?
- I know you still love her…and her too.
- How could you be sure, I hurt her…
- Listen, you're a widower now, and you're free. Here's your chance to get her back. What happened wasn't your fault, you had a duty and obligations…
- You really th ink I can get her back?
- But what are you talking about? I don't know you anymore! Where's the young man who wasn't afrai and who didn't doubt about his charm for a second?
- He's a little discouraged but the obstacls life has thrown on his path…
- Terry, stop it! My sister loves you and you love her too! She's not a minor anymore, she's free! She's very popular, so you better hurry and convince her about your love for her, before she let's herself being wooed by another punk…
He remembered that Candy almost got married to a daddy's boy…a loser. Fortunately, she changed her mind at the last minute.
- She loves you, buddy, so if you fail this time around, you'll only have yourself to blame…
That's how he was trying to conquer Candy… After everything that had happened. He really fell like abandoning everything.
From the day I saw you,
A big wave had moved inside me
Drunken by this unknown feeling,
I wasn't able to recognized that feeling
For you I put my soul out there
I put at your feet
My heart is inside out
And all my craziest dreams
And on your lips a tender kiss
But destiny swept away
My hopes and my projects
Leaving just bitter regrets
For abandoning you
Without a fight to keep you
There's no half portion of bad luck
I fell so low
For that pain to cease
Lend a hand towards me
Please forgive me
I hope you come back to me
If you want, we're going to be two
To be finally happy
By my friend lilirose
- You're not going to give up now, said Tyler's voice, look at what you've done to me and Bianca Rose… I'm patient!
- You don't have the choice… but me …
- You're the master of your destiny
- Destiny took Candy away from me…
- But how did you survive prison?
- By thinking about her, imagining myself with her…
- I'm what you're doing with me right? Isn't there some philosopher who talked like that?
- "I think, therefore I am" Descartes…
- I'm sure if you think if you look in the Bible you'll find something similar…
- Wait… I remember in the book of Proverbs 23: 7 : "Because for what he thought in his soul, that's how he is".
- Well there you to! Think that you're with Candy… get me back together with Bianca Rose, and you'll see that everything will be for the best for you!
- You little sneak! That's what you want, right?
- Of course, that's what I want! Do it for me! You'll see everything will be better with Candy…
- I don't know…
- She pushed you away, so, it doesn't mean that she won't see you anymore! You've persevere un until now, despite all her refusals, you would go back to invite her… You understand her, don't you? She was hurt when you stood her up…
- That was beyond my control!
- I know that! Why not tell her? She would fall into your arms right away…
- I don't want to…
- I know, you don't want her to fall into your arms for that ! Terry! That's why you're making me suffer in my story with Bianca Rose! Fix your story, so that you can fix mine quickly!
- You're talking too much, you know that?
- You know I'm right: you become what you think!
- "I think, therefore, I am" René Descartes. ""Because for what he thought in his soul, that's how he is". Proverbs 23:7
Tyler was right. He had to be positive. The philosophers are saying it, the Bible is saying it… He had to be positive, not get discouraged.
Bianca Rose had lost her husband during a pandemic or typhoid fever. She had inherited the big domain. She had to hire a new foreman and she had put an ad in the paper. When she was having candidates to interview, she was surprised to find herself face to face with Tyler…
- But what are you doing here?
- I could tell you that I came for the foreman job, but it would be a lie. I came to see you Bianca Rose, I've missed you.
- Tyler…
- Why didn't you wait for me? Why did you get married?
- I didn't have the choice… I didn't know if you were going to come back or no…
- I left to make fortune and I succeeded… I did all that for you!
- Oh Tyler…
- You're the reason I wake up for every morning ever since our separation.
- Not a day had gone by without me thinking about you either…
- You married another man…
- It's not what you think, Tyler. It was an arrangement…
- My family had financial difficulties, my husband offered a deal; he needed a wife and he was going to take care of the debts of my family…
- He needed a wife. He could've had any woman…
- Yes, but, he had a problem… he was impotent. Not a lot of women would've agreed and he didn't want to admit it to everybody… Alistair convinced him that I would agree and that I would keep his secret…
- You said yes…
- I wanted you…so to have a husband with whom I won't be doing anything was a dream come true. But when you came back, I didn't know it was going to be so hard to see you again! I wanted to give up everything,but I couldn't. He had saved my family for poverty…
- So…
- I love your Tyler, I've never stopped loving you…
He looked at her with happy eyes, he was going to walk to her when they were interrupted by a knock on the door.
- You know you're a pain as an author? Said Tyler
- I'm taking a break. I'll continue later!
- Don't take too long!