CHAPTER 13

Daryl held Noel against him gently as he tried to catch his breath. Noel slowly realized there was nowhere to hide as they untangled their bodies. She moved quickly as he stepped back to pull her underwear up but he'd already seen it; the blood, he was staring as he pulled his own underwear up.

The dressed quickly and Noel picked up her rifle as Daryl shouldered his crossbow. He opened his mouth like he was going to saw something but just shook his head as his mouth formed a thin line and walked to the door. He walked quickly and Noel struggled to keep up. She tried to read him, his body language; the only thing she could pick up on was both of his hands clenched into fists.

Was he angry? She fought the urge to scream his name and make him stop so she could just look at him. Fear built up inside her that she'd done something wrong and she couldn't stop herself as she reach for him. Her small hand slid into one of his large clenched one's, pulling at him, forcing him to stop. He looked at her eyes full of too many emotions for her to pin point one.

"Did I do something wrong?" She found herself saying as she almost broke down. His face filled with disbelief, as he had to calm himself down before uttering one word.

"No," he said almost curtly turning to leave until she pulled him back to her.

"Then what is it?" She asked desperately. "What's wrong?" He didn't look at her. He was trying to say to many things at once as his mouth opened and closed, struggling to find the words. He stopped trying, settling for the words that came next.

"You always bleed like that?" The question surprised Noel but it made sense to her that this is what was bothering him. She nodded and tried to explain what she'd figured he didn't know.

"I mean… it was only the third time… I've ever… I mean… I had never done it before… you." She strained to get the words out, trying to make sense and from the look on his face he'd understood. He just nodded pulling his eyes from hers.

He didn't let go of her hand as they walked back to camp, both of their minds racing. As they neared camp she noticed the white flower sticking out of his pocket wondering when he'd picked that up. She was about to ask when his hand pulled from hers as he gripped her arms pushing her up against the tree a few inches behind her. He was struggling with his words again.

"I didn't mean to hurt ya," he finally drawled out, his eyes on the ground. Noel said nothing knowing he wanted to say more. "I didn't know you was a… and I'd lost control… when Merle was gone… as you was there… and I wanted ya… still do." He mumbled trying to help her understand.

She cupped his face with her hands forcing him to look at her. He looked… distraught.

"You don't have to explain yourself," she found herself saying.

What are you saying? Of course he does! She was screaming at herself in her head.

"Yea. I do." He said quickly, "Cuz I still want ya… and you probably hate me now… you was just… good… ya know?" He paused, "I didn't know." He looked at his shoes again, "I didn't know."

"I don't hate you." She mumbled quickly making his eyes find hers once more. "I did." She said flatly, "But not anymore. I'm just… confused." Her voice started dying out and she could see what he was about to ask. She shook her head but he asked anyway.

"I gotta know," he said, now she was the one trying to look away. "Do ya?" He asked. She knew what was coming next, "want this…"

"You." She corrected.

"Me." He agreed. She pulled her hands to her face shaking her head. He stepped away rom her figuring he got his answer but she caught his hand.

"I don't…" She could see the anger building up in his face, "know yet. I don't know. Okay?" she said squeezing his hand in hers. "I need some time. To think. About this." He nodded and led them back to camp, their hands still together.

They'd missed lunch but Carol saved them plates. Daryl told her about the house and gave her the flower while Noel took a seat to eat. Dale and T-Dog were the only ones around while her and Daryl had a late lunch. Well Daryl ate; Noel didn't touch the food on her plate as she willed herself not to shake, not to think, not yet any way. Dale noticed, so did Daryl but Dale, unlike Daryl, had to say something, as she was about to get up.

"Not hungry?" he asked. Noel looked up.

Shit, she thought, come on old man. Not now. Not while he's here so I can at least pretend to have my shit together. She just shrugged.

"You really should eat something." He continued, "Or there'll be nothing left." He added with a small smile. Noel said nothing as he tried again. He looked at T-Dog who was obviously listening.

"He's right. You're already this big around." T-Dog said while holding up his little finger. Dale nodded and took it one step further as both he and T-Dog looked at Daryl. Daryl didn't have to look up from his plate to know where they were looking. He stood, with an empty plate, and looked at her, his eyes filled with too many things at once but she couldn't look away as he spoke.

"Ya could use s'more meat on yer bones." He grumbled before walking away. Dale smiled as Noel gave into the hunger pangs and ate her food.

He would know.