A/N I don't own Twilight, or Breaking Dawn, or Edward… Dammit! As a reminder, I've tried to keep facts and dialogue as true to Stephenie's original story as possible. If you spot an error, PLEASE let me know!
A big thanks to Sugargirl002 for your continued support! And to Tink51287, here's to our lovely addiction... Enjoy!
I laid there silently, unable to move for fear of jostling her and causing more pain. I knew she was awake now, and was amazed that she hadn't let a whimper cross her lips, yet. I felt her cheek move against my chest, and if I didn't know better, I would've thought she was smiling. But that couldn't be true, I knew she was trying to hide her pain, to spare my feelings.
I thoroughly hated myself for what I had done to her, and waited for the backlash I knew was coming. My fingers where still trailing the length of her spine, tracing and retracing the marks that decorated her perfect milky skin. I wondered how long she would wait before having to move, knowing then the pain would truly register.
I expected the anger, the hurt, and still after all these hours, I couldn't find the words to articulate my feelings. I would have to try to explain the depth of my sorrow. I needed her to know how sorry I was for doing this to her, and hoped I'd find the words to explain it before the love light in her eyes went out, replaced by one of a million emotions I deserved much more, like distrust, or betrayal. That's what I had done… She had put her total faith and trust in me, and I had let her down.
I didn't expect her to laugh. What the hell?
"What's funny?" I asked quietly, shocked out of my own thoughts by this unexpected turn of events, and felt the heat of her blushing against my skin. What could she possibly be thinking?
Her stomach growled, and she laughed again. I knew her human needs had to be met, but I was terrified to look into her face, to see the pain in her eyes when she tried to move and realized what I'd done. I clenched my teeth and waited, not moving, not breathing, as she brought herself up on one elbow to look at me.
"Edward," she choked out. I knew it! Her injuries had made her barely able to speak, and I was consumed with guilt. What had I done? I am such a fool. "What is it? What's wrong?" she almost whispered.
As if she didn't know! I should've been more prepared for her denial, but it still surprised me that she would try to pretend not to be hurt at all. At least she didn't say she was fine. And I could be certain now that she didn't have any broken bones, for that she wouldn't be able to hide, and she wasn't crying. Maybe she was a better actress than I had given her credit for.
"You have to ask?" I forced the words out. Denial wasn't going to get us anywhere, and we were going to have to get it out in the open now. The anticipation was killing me, yet she was completely silent.
She frowned, and my finger reached out to smooth the wrinkles that appeared on her forehead. I couldn't handle the silence, not knowing what was on her mind as she processed everything. I wanted her to yell at me, something, anything. I deserved it.
"What are you thinking?" I whispered. Fear gripped my heart as I waited for her response.
"You're upset," she muttered. "I don't understand. Did I…?"
Oh no! She was not about to blame herself for this! I couldn't allow that. I glared at the mosquito netting above me, getting control of the anger I had toward myself so she wouldn't think it was directed at her.
"How badly are you hurt, Bella?" I had to know. "The truth - don't try to downplay it."
Why I said that I wasn't sure. I knew she would anyway. It was her nature to be entirely too forgiving. I expected it.
"Hurt?" she asked in surprise. So apparently we were going with the total denial, huh? I cocked one eyebrow. I wasn't buying it.
I felt her move against me, stretching, flexing, testing her injuries silently. I tried to steel myself for her reaction, flicking my eyes quickly to gauge the look on her face. I was right, she was glaring. I had no choice but to accept whatever came. She should be angry; I could've killed her. I still didn't know what to say, but I was as prepared as I could be.
"Why would you jump to that conclusion? I've never been better than I am now."
What!? How could she say that now? She is seriously going to try to play this off as nothing? The denial had to stop. We both knew the truth here, and acting like it was ok, was, well… not ok. Her self sacrificing behavior was endearing, but entirely illogical.
"Stop that." I demanded, closing my eyes in despair.
"Stop what?" Oh Bella, please! Forgive me, I wanted to beg. Don't hate me for what I've done to you, for what I am…
"Stop acting like I'm not a monster for having agreed to this." Just admit the truth, I barely suppressed my whimper. The proof is all over your body! Yell, scream, tell me how undeserving I am, but don't pretend it's ok.
"Edward!" she hissed. Here it comes. She's furious, and it's my fault. I was the greedy, selfish vampire who had risked the love of his life for one amazing night of passion, and if she wanted me out of her life, so be it. I couldn't leave her again. I would always watch over her, protect her, do everything I'd failed at so far, like a guardian shadow, for I was certainly no angel.
"Don't ever say that," she scolded. I couldn't believe it. She couldn't possibly be willing to accept what I had done. I still couldn't bring myself to look at her, though the image of her ravaged body was still just as clear as if I was staring at her. Had she not seen the evidence?
"Look at yourself, Bella. Then tell me I'm not a monster." I forced out through clenched teeth. I heard her gasp, and my frozen heart fell. Even she couldn't deny that. At last, she saw the truth. I braced myself, ready for anything, except what she said…
A few people have asked for longer chapters, and I'm trying. But it may be a bit longer between chapters. The next one is already on its way, and it will be even longer, I swear… Leave reviews