In the mountain depths

Treading through the crimson leaves

The wandering stag calls

I hear the lonely cry

How sad the autumn is.

I grab at Utakata-san's sleeve as I see the buildings coming up, out of the mist. Everything's… grey. Blue. This village is built right by the water, and there's a wall of grey stone practically at the water's edge.

It's scary.

Reaching behind me, I grab Itachi's hand, too. We're both cold and a bit clammy from the mist, but our new clothes, courtesy of the generosity of Utakata-san and his teacher, Harusame-san, are warm. Itachi's not as comfortable in the greys and blues, but… they're kinda pretty, once you get used to them.

I like Utakata-san. I also like his teacher. I feel almost bad for lying to them. Sometimes… I wonder if maybe we didn't have to lie. If we'd just told them… they might have understood. But now… it's probably a bit too late.

Hah. A bit. No, it's four days and probably more than a few ri too late.

I really don't like lies. Or lying. I end up with this weird twisting feeling in my gut… that annoying thing called a conscience. Yes, it's sometimes necessary… but at one point, I'm going to tell Itachi the truth. Maybe Shisui, too. And… I'm going to apologize to Utakata-san. And Harusame-san.

Eventually.

Maybe once I get home, and everything's nothing more than a funny anecdote, I can commision a mission to deliver a letter to them? A letter, a gift… just something to say both "thank-you" and "sorry."

They'll drop us off at the Kirigakure orphanage. And then… we can become shinobi, or find something to do in Kirigakure, and… yeah. I'm almost alarmed for Kirigakure. It's that easy? Honestly, they should be lucky we're not there with any nefarious intentions.

I don't like Kiri-nin. I think I'm very safe in sticking to that as my default. Because they're mean to Utakata-san and they whisper and that's not nice, and I can tell that Utakata-san is hurt, even if he tries to hide it. Harusame-san seems upset, too.

I glare at them, even as Itachi tries to get me to stop. I don't like the attention, and I can that Itachi doesn't like it either, but…

"Mako?"

I blink, looking up. "Hai, Utakata-san?'

He smiles tightly. "Do you mind going with my sensei? I think… it might be best if I wait outside."

I slump, nodding. "Hai." I glare sideways. "Kiri-nin are mean."

Utakata-san laughs softly, but I can hear the tension. "They're… it's not their fault, Mako-kun."

I lean against his leg. "It's fine. We'll be fine. Don't worry." I straighten back up, mock-glaring. "Shoo."

Utakata-san genuinely laughs this time, ruffling my hair and patting Itachi on the shoulder. "Take care, Mako-kun. And Tachi… take care of yourself and Mako, okay?"

Itachi nods solemnly. "Hai."

I throw two arms around Utakata-san. "Thanks, Utakata-san. For everything." I lift my head, staring at him. "Really. Thank you. You're super-nice and super-awesome, and you're cooler than all the Kiri-nin, so don't be sad."

Utakata-san smiles, crouching down and giving me a hug, before pulling Itachi in, too.

As he straightens up again, I almost start tearing up, but I force a smile on my face and wave happily. "Take care!"

Utakata-san waves to us, nods once to his teacher, and walks back out the gates.

Itachi grabs my hand, and we turn away, following Harusame-san.

Harusame-san stops us right before the gates of the orphanage, a round, grey, ominous-seeming building on the outskirts, right within view of the wall, and… well, it doesn't look friendly.

Itachi and I share a look.

Harusame-san sets a hand on each of our shoulders, crouching down. "Listen, children. Kirigakure… it isn't the friendliest place. Keep an eye out. You will be each other's only friend and ally here. Utakata… he hasn't had a chance to see the worst parts of Kirigakure, even if many of the people don't particularly like him, for the simple reason that he is the grandson of the Sandaime Mizukage. But you will. Orphans… do not have an easy life. Don't mention that you know him. Don't upset shinobi. You were right, Mako-chan. Many Kiri-nin are indeed like the monsters many civilians see us as. Stick together."

He sighs, looking around carefully, before pulling… a pack out from inside his jacket? "Keep this under your shirt," he murmurs. "In fact, keep an eye on everything you two own. Your clothes. Your shoes. Children who grow up on the streets of Kirigakure learn to be cutthroat. Be careful. I apologize for making the presumption for you, but… try to become a shinobi. Civilians… do not lead very happy lives in Kirigakure. It is dangerous for anyone. The Academy… has changed, but…" He sighs again. "Be careful. Kirigakure… changes people. I've done my best to keep Utakata away from everything. The Land of Water itself is… was beautiful. Once. Some places in it still are. I simply wish…"

He shakes his head, straightening back. "I apologize for the musings of an old man, and I hope you will not be upset at my presumption," he whispers, stepping back. "If you study hard… if you do not change… perhaps I can arrange to take you in as students, once you become genin. I am Harusame, a fūinjutsu master of Kirigakure."

Harusame-san sets a hand on our shoulders. "Take care, children."

I nod. "Thank you, Harusame-san," I murmur. Itachi does the same. "And…" I hesitate. "Take care of Utakata-san?"

Harusame-san smiles. "I will. Now… let's get you signed in?"

.

.

.

Harusame-san was right. Kirigakure… is not nice.

It's like there are tiers… or social ranks. There are nobles and super-strong clan shinobi and people like that at the very top. Then, there are the clan shinobi, and the jōnin. Next down are the normal chūnin shinobi and weaker jōnin or what I think might be tokubetsu jōnin. Then, there are the genin and weaker chūnin. Then, there are the civilians at the bottom. But to be honest… there are the civilians who are doing somewhat well, the civilians who are not doing well and the orphans… and at the very bottom? The children who grow up on the streets.

And for each rank? Those who are nice tend to be lower down. They're not treated well.

It's been almost three weeks since we arrived. After a bit of discussion, we were put into a room together. There's four rooms for the boys, with four beds in each. I think there's the same, maybe less, for the girls. There are two bathrooms. Each has four sinks, four toilets, and four showers.

That in itself isn't bad. What is bad… is the state everything's in.

…

There are thirty-seven boys and twenty-nine girls.

…

Yeah.

The water pressure is horrible, the floors are dirty and sticky (alarmingly so, at times), there's all sorts of… things… living and growing, and…

And this is one of the better-off orphanages. It's a shinobi orphanage, so it gets a bit more funding. It's not one of the better shinobi orphanages, though, thankfully.

Those have actual shinobi in charge, which means the kids get better training and things might be better… but everything's a lot more strict, and they don't earn that much money for the longest times, because they have to pay the orphanage back, and they have to be a shinobi for a certain amount of time.

This place just has people teaching the children how to read and write, and a library, and several large, empty rooms for, presumably, training, as well as a physical exam every month.

There are only three adults here. One's this middle-aged man with a bit of a potbelly, and the others are women, though one's younger and one's older.

The children are in charge of cleaning up, helping prepare food… all of the chores that go into maintaining a place like this. It's honestly no wonder it's so run-down.

I start reaching out to the other kids as I try to figure out our situation.

...they're… they all seem so… so down or something. Metaphorically down, that is. I can't blame them. There's limited food, the water's always got this funny taste since we drink from the taps, and the sheets are thin and limited. There's always at least one kid sick, but even then…

It's better than the situation outside.

I managed to make friends with some of the kids, and they actually have friends outside. They're not lucky enough to be in an orphanage. You apparently need a shinobi of chūnin-rank or higher to get admitted to any shinobi orphanage, and the streets are supposedly better than the civilian orphanage they used to be in.

Let's just say that the people in charge weren't as nice as the people in charge of this orphanage. The people in charge of this orphanage are pretty neglectful, and they've seem to have lost any vitality, and it seems like some don't care, but… they don't deliberately hurt the children.

Outside… everyone's hungry. Almost no one has enough food. The children sometimes go hungry in favor of giving food to some of the other children outside, the ones who go through trash, but… they don't have much to spare. Even so, one tells me, after one of their friends died after the last winter… they try harder. But even amongst the adults, with homes and jobs and food… I see gaunt frames and thin faces and bony limbs everywhere. The shinobi are better, but… their eyes are hard and their faces seem almost mean. The children I follow drag me out of sight the moment anyone with a headband shows up.

Apparently, they're usually mean, and… they do bad stuff to some of the children, sometimes.

I don't want to think too hard into that, but I get an idea, and it's not good. It only gets worse when one of the older boys, with soft hair and good bone structure and a thin face says that at least it's better than in the Akasen. He was born there, and according to him? It's the place of nightmares. There are maybe two other children, both girls, who came from there, too. They agree.

They told me, early on, as well as Itachi, to never go there. Some of the ugliest kids might be safe, but… we would not. Too pretty, one laughed. The Akasen would swallow us up.

Itachi almost stabbed that older girl with a dull kitchen knife.

I stopped him, thanking the girl for the warning. She didn't have to. She laughed in my face and pushed me hard against the floor.

She doesn't like me.

Apparently, I'm a $% *% idealist (I didn't catch the word attached, but given how she practically spit it out, I'm pretty sure it's a curse word) who has no clue how the world actually works and I'll probably get swallowed up by the world when I get older.

She's not alone, either. There are meaner kids. They take what they can, and spend hours essentially… beating each other up. They call it training. They've got their sights set on getting out of the hellhole by being stronger and tougher and meaner and more cruel than anyone else.

The rest of the kids are either scared of them or hate them… or they worship them.

It's an interestingly mixed bag.

Speaking of Itachi, though… he's had the hardest time here. Especially now that we're poking around outside more… he almost… seemed like he wanted to kill someone. And he's normally a pacifist. But that night, he'd cried. I… can't blame him. He knows the cruelty of this world in the wars and battles of shinobi. How would he have known about this? Poverty, hunger… shinobi probably only see the places their missions take them to. Places like this… the people here can't afford missions, I bet.

I want to scream at times. By now, it's been almost seven weeks. And… as the weather gets colder, and winter sets in, everyone's life gets tougher, and I see more of Kirigakure.

I go out nearly every day to try and get food, supplies… and to try and make sure the children on the streets, who by now have become almost friends, will make it through the winter alive. We smuggle some into the orphanage, the younger ones, especially.

It's hard. I'm always cold, and... well, at least after a while, you get used to the hunger. It's never nice, but... not much is. I didn't really ever know hunger, not the empty, gnawing sensation in your stomach that sapped at your warmth and energy and happy emotions and just keeps growing. Honestly, sometimes I can't help but wonder if that's what being around a Dementor might be like.

But... I can't dwell on the hunger. But... I can't dwell on the hunger. I did that already. I want to go home and be warm and have a nice pot of hot oden and nap by a warm charcoal stove under soft blankets, but… I can't. And Itachi can't either. And it's probably mostly my fault, but I can't dwell on that because… because it won't fix anything.

Crying wastes energy and dehydrates you. Sitting still and moping doesn't get anything done. At least... at least moving around keeps you warm. Somewhat. Even if you don't really have the energy to burn.

Some kids steal. They steal money, they steal clothes, they steal food, and whatever else they can. Not all of us want to risk that, though. It's too dangerous, though as long as the people aren't shinobi… or well enough to hire shinobi… it's not too bad. I don't like it, but… by now, I understand. And I actually learn. I can't actually use many of my pickpocketing skills, since I'm not tall enough to pickpocket the adults with money— I learned on the other kids.

Many beg. It sometimes works. It's dangerous, though, when a shinobi or civilian in a bad mood finds them, but it's more humiliating and cold than anything.

I've spent a day or two doing that, too, though after one person acted… creepily… and I ran off, Yuzu (the nice older kid from the Akasen) decided that it might be better for me not to do that. I haven't yet told Itachi what happened… I have a feeling he would not be happy about what happened.

I've… not quite the most-liked person right now. Everyone's opinions are… flip-flopping. Probably. For one, I may or may not have brought in several strays.

It's not really my fault, though! There was a group of… probably genin, tormenting the cat with the tiny kittens. And they are good at catching the vermin in the orphanage. Plus, they're soft and cut and fuzzy… and it's not like the messes at the beginning were that hard to clean off the stone floors. And those stopped after I managed to make a makeshift litter-box with sand— though I had to go all the way to the pond/lake, and then the river, to find sand. And I managed to find an old, broken training post with rope to be a makeshift scratching post. And it's not like they're bed is composed of anything more than fabric scraps that are too thin to be useable.

At this point, I'm just glad that I researched care for cats so exhaustively Before. I'd wanted a pet so badly… but now, I'll admit, they are a lot of work. At least cats aren't that bad compared to some other, higher-maintenance pets. And they kinda pull their own weight.

But… four cats are a lot. And we really don't have the room for much more. Or the resources.

There's a reason some kids were so angry with me even bringing in the cat and the kittens. And many, especially the meaner kids, don't like the new faces either.

We're really tightly strained.

It's hard to get wood and stuff for extra fires. You have to go pretty far inland, and then it's a lot of hard work unless you buy it, but that's expensive… and then you need to get it back. And pray that no one decides they want the wood, and takes it. Shinobi have done that before. But in that, we're lucky that it's possible for us to get it ourselves. The other things, the things we need to pay for? You need money for that. Other kids, especially the older ones, even if they're in the Kirigakure Academy… they try and find other work. Most get stuff for themselves, but are willing to share… sometimes. The nice ones get stuff to share.

But even still, the blankets are thin. Everyone's clothes are worn thin. The windows are drafty. There aren't fires. We can't afford to maintain them.

I want to change this.

I can't… I can't just leave after seeing this. Not after seeing the children with too-thin clothes who looked at me and Itachi with jealousy when we first came, but warmed up when I told them that we'd stay on the floor, and that they could keep the blankets. When we'd offered to cook, and made something actually palatable for once.

When we'd motivated the others by taking cleaning seriously and showed the others how to clean properly. When we'd re-ordered the beds, pairing them and laying the mattresses perpendicularly so that you could fit maybe eight children on each, instead of the three-or-so-max before, so everyone was warmer.

When we'd taken books from the small library and I convinced Itachi to read them out loud after dinner.

When I helped fix the horrible water pressure in the showers (and how they were all cold) by… appropriating some of the large tubs used for laundry and combined the two times. Because it's probably fine to scrub down children in laundry water, right? It's not like we can afford much more than soap, so there isn't anything too harsh. Plus, all of the steam keeps everyone warm. It's not the most sanitary, probably, but I think it's better than taking showers in ice-cold water, or some of the kids simply refusing to clean themselves.

The first important part is boiling the water with the doors closed until the air's warm and steam-filled. Then later, after the clothes go through, the kids scrub themselves in the tub with mostly-clean, albeit soapy, water. Smaller buckets are filled with water and used like a shower to clean off the soap. Yeah, we have to switch the water in the two larger buckets after every ten kids or so, but… it's efficient. We try and do it at least twice a week, even if we only can overlap the bath time with the laundry time once a week, and so it's not too bad. And you can fit up to three kids in each large tub.

But my point is… it's hard, but not that hard. I can fix this. Maybe not everything, but… I can make things better.

It's not easy. I'm only four. I look like I'm only four. And the other kids... well, how would you react to getting told what to do by someone half your age? The thing is, though... they've lost hope. They don't have direction. So as long as I'm not just talk and as long as I actually accomplish something and as long as I talk with confidence and explain things... my ideas are good.

And I've already done what I can.

…

But first things first, I need to figure out if I can get the meaner kids to stop undermining things. Because I'm still not sure why the girl (her name's Minori? I've also heard it as Miwa, but then she punched that kid in the face, so… maybe avoid that one?) hates me, but she's infamous in the orphanage. She's beaten up most of the other meaner kids, and most of the orphanage is scared of her. And yet… she's not like the mean kids. She cares. At least, I'm pretty sure she does.

The fact is, I need to be more respected to get things done. Or, I need someone respected. Because… I'm three. And Itachi's… been, understandably, more occupied with the library and secretly memorizing everything (thanks to the magically red-glowy eyes), which is important… but… I can't do that.

I can do this.

Already a bit over half of the boys at least listen to me. Maybe another quarter are sullen and difficult, but not hostile. For the girls, the numbers are more like a third and a half. The problem is the people who laugh and jeer and scoff at our efforts and sometimes deliberately sabotage what I'm trying to do.

Because it's hard to keep everyone working together when things go missing and everyone's hungrier and colder because someone else took most of the food and stole the blankets. It's hard to convince people to do something when they just keep replying, "Why?" and "So what?" and "I don't have to listen to you."

And sometimes, I almost want to cry. Sometimes, it's just me trying to wage a one-person war against the grime and despair that pervades the orphanage. Sometimes I wonder if there's even a point, and whether it'd be easier to simply stop caring.

But that's the thing, isn't it? This isn't my problem. Itachi and I have our families, and Konohagakure, and everything else. As long as we can get out, we'll be fine.

Everyone else here… they don't have that.

And if we can't get out… well, that's why I'm trying so hard. The place is already significantly cleaner. Everyone's a bit happier, with some of the new setups. Everything's looking up!

And so, of course, that's when the kids start getting sick.

Oh, %^#&.

In the mountain depths

Treading through the crimson leaves

The wandering stag calls

I hear the lonely cry

How sad the autumn is

— Sarumaru

奥山に

紅葉ふみわけ

鳴く鹿の

声きく時ぞ

秋は悲しき

— 猿丸大夫

Okuyama ni

Momiji fumiwake

Naku shika no

Koe kiku toki zo

Aki wa kanashiki

— Sarumaru no Taifu

Author's Note: Kiri's... not necessarily the best place. And Makoto doesn't always make the best decisions, as you can see. Any decision that plays a part in getting you trapped in Kirigakure counts as not very good.

I wanted to explore more of the world, though, and I wanted this to reflect a bit of Makoto growing up. He's practically allergic to commitment and responsibility and being productive... but he's also a bit of a bleeding heart and he can also be very productive when he has a strong enough motivation. And in this case, he is very motivated to fix the $#^%-hole he's going to have to stay in.

This is also going to come into play again (after this arc) in the... eventual future.

I hope you liked the chapter! In response to a review... yes. I still need OCs. I will ALWAYS need more OCs. If you need a template, just look back to the one in the first few chapters. The thing is... when you're building a world... I'm not sure if you realized this, but... THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. I need civilians, I need chunin, I need jounin, I need genin, and I need them to be from Kirigakure and Kumogakure and Iwagakure and Sunagakure and Konohagakure and the larger countries and the smaller countries (Land of Noodles, Land of Tea, Land of... Snow... just look in Narutopedia. There are a lot of them.)

And speaking of OCs... Minori's an OC from Slyfoxcub!

-ShadowAccio6181