Title: Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll

Author: innocent choir girl (ff-dot-net), shannyfish (From Out of the Lab/Miami Heat/LJ)

Summary: Jake Berkeley takes Calleigh undercover without the permission of who he's working for, Horatio, or even Calleigh herself… Will Jake prove his true colors?

Category: Ship Ahoy! Calleigh/Horatio

Genres: Angst, Case, Drama, Suspense

Characters: Jake Berkeley (Other), Calleigh Duquesne, Horatio Caine, Frank Tripp (Other), Alexx Woods

Warnings: Adult Themes

Rating: R

Chapter: 13 "Silent Cries"

Author's Notes: Darlings, one more SDRR chapter to go… Though, I have promised a sequel ;) Keep an eye out on my CSI: Miami Wiki profile (user id: shannyfish) for the title…as soon as I have one and a decent summary, it'll be up there  Thanks to all who have been supportive of this story endeavor!

Just remember…with one story over, another is just beginning…

…………………………

"I'm gonna shower," Calleigh whispered after leaving the table. Eric had been a darling and had come over and made her breakfast, but he had to run, and she understood. She just hated the thought of being alone in her apartment. Jake had managed to get in there even when she hadn't ever given him a key. Even with the locks changed, he could still get in. She knew from working in the crime lab, that even from behind bars, people could strike out at others. There was nothing else she could do…she couldn't tell her father…

It wasn't just the fact that she felt ashamed and utterly embarrassed of what had happened to her, but she knew her rapist…she had even cared for him at a time. She didn't want her father seeing her as weak…she didn't want his pity…she just wanted his love, and she wasn't sure if that could ever be attained…at least not in the way she wanted it. Of course he loved her, she was his daughter, but she wanted him to stop drinking and remember that she was his daughter and not there to simply drag him out of bars at night.

Her room felt safe, though… She locked the bedroom door and had made sure the windows were locked and covered. Her gun safe was close by, and she could easily access it if she needed to. She made her way into her bathroom and started the shower. She stripped down and tossed her clothes into the hamper. She laid the towel nearby for easy access when she got out. Calleigh stepped in carefully and closed the shower door.

The steam had already frosted the glass of the door, and Calleigh found herself letting the heated water soak into her skin before started to sob. One hand braced against the cool tile of the shower wall, the other reaching down to feel for where she was sinking. Calleigh knew it was perfectly safe for her to cry in her room, that no one was there…no one would hear, but she didn't even want her neighbors to know she was crying. Somehow the warm steamy shower felt like the best place to release it. Her knees were pulled to her chest, her bare arms wrapped around her knees and her face laid downward on her knees. Her tears ran down her legs mixing with the water raining from above. She wasn't even sure why she was crying…she had so many reasons to cry, but she couldn't think of the exact one.

………………………..

She had eaten a yogurt, a banana, and a sandwich by the time Horatio came hours later. Calleigh felt a bit better, but she could still feel tears welled up inside of her. Horatio had brought work with him, which was the only reason Calleigh figured he could be there so early. "You didn't have to come early for me," she whispered as she sat down next to him to spy on the work he'd brought with him. It was killing her to be home doing nothing, but eating, sleeping, and crying.

"I missed you," he told her honestly as he looked up from his paperwork at her. Her eyes were red and swollen. She had been crying. He didn't push it though, or bring it up. It would only make it worse…he knew that she was already doing so much to let them in. "Have you thought about calling your father?"

"Yes," Calleigh responded quickly, but then added, "But I'm not going to…"

"May I ask why?"

She knew he wouldn't give up on that. Horatio knew exactly who Kenwall Duquesne was, but he still insisted wanting to include them into the babysitting Calleigh front. "What if I decide not to keep the baby? If I give it up for adoption? Do you know how much guilt I'd get from him?" she asked. "He'd make me feel bad…and I don't want that pressure."

"Will you tell me if I'm pressuring?" he asked wanting to know truthfully. He didn't want to be that person. He had solely wanted to be supporting and hated to think that his actions may be swaying her opinion just because he was harassing her on a point.

She smiled a little bit, "No worries there."

"So, how would you like to go over the case file with me?" Horatio asked using her coffee table to line up photos and test results. "I figured maybe I could use a new perspective."

Calleigh smiled brightly, "I would love to… I love a bit of distraction…plus, this means I don't have to peek over your shoulder the whole time."

…………………….

"Dinner's ready," Horatio called. When she didn't respond, he went looking for her and found Calleigh sitting on her bed with a book. "Sweetheart, dinner's ready," he said gently.

"Not hungry," Calleigh told him quietly.

Frowning, Horatio kneeled down in front of her, "You need to eat."

Calleigh looked at him, setting the book down. "I just…I just want things to be normal," she whispered and looked down. She fiddled with her fingers feeling stupid, but it was completely true. She felt awkward around Horatio and Eric; she pulled away from their touches and didn't feel safe in her own home.

"They're going to get better, Calleigh," Horatio tried to assure.

"Eating doesn't seem like it's helping me," she confessed.

Horatio reached out and gently took her hand, making sure not to squeeze it, so if she needed to pull back she could. But she didn't pull back, so Horatio let his thumb brush the top of her hand, "It's going to help you fit back into your clothes…" He smiled, "Alexx told me you weren't very happy about that…"

"No, I don't like wearing running pants all day," she agreed. "And I really don't feel like shopping for newer smaller clothes when this baby is just going to have me out of that size soon enough."

"No shopping therapy?"

Calleigh smiled, "Not at least today…"

"You let me know."

…………………………….

Around two in the morning, Horatio found himself wide awake. He was lying on Calleigh's couch staring up at the ceiling trying to realize why he'd woken. He didn't need to use the bathroom, and he wasn't thirsty. A sound that barely registered. Sitting up, he swung his legs to the floor where they met the carpeting. He pushed himself up and made his way towards Calleigh's room. He could hear it more clearly. She was crying… He knocked softly, but opened the door before she could say anything. He knew she'd be wiping the tears away and telling him that she was fine, but he knew better. "Hey Sweetheart," he said in a soothing voice as he approached the bed and sat on the edge, so that he was facing her.

Calleigh was sitting up in bed, wiping her tears away. "Sorry…" she whispered.

"You're fine, right?"

A small smile crossed her face, but then she shook her head, "No…no, I'm a mess."

"A beautiful mess."

Calleigh laughed and shook her head, "Hardly…" She sniffled and looked at him, "I'm sorry I woke you… I know you have a long day tomorrow…"

"Don't worry about my day…" Horatio told her. "What are you thinking about?"

"A lot of things," she admitted taking in a deep breath. She saw him waiting for her to speak and decided to lay everything out for him. "I'm worried about…work, eating, IAB, Jake, juggling my schedule with doctor's appointments, and the baby…" She looked at him and was confused to find a smile waiting for her. "What?" she asked tilting her head a bit.

"I don't want you to worry about any of those things," Horatio told her. "Work will…work out. We're going to help you through it, Calleigh… You're human, and I think we all need to remember that… We're going to give you all the support you need, that includes covering you for doctor's appointments and going with you if you want." He saw her opening her mouth to argue, but he continued. "Eating is an easy thing, believe me… Alexx will definitely have no problems making sure you have snacks, and I can assure you that between Eric and myself we'll have breakfasts, lunches, and dinners covered."

"Horatio—" she started to argue.

"I don't want you to worry at all about IAB or Jake. I will handle those personally…well, IAB at least. The justice system has Jake Berkeley contained at the moment," Horatio assured. "And the baby…the baby doesn't want you to worry about it…it just wants to be loved."

Calleigh smiled, "Speakin' for the baby, huh?"

"You're going to be fine in two weeks, Calleigh… We'll have a system, and it'll probably make sure that we all get three square meals in every day," he added with a smile. "It's been a while since I've had three meals and snacks…"

"You're makin' it sound like me being pregnant is goin' make everything work better," Calleigh pointed out. She watched as Horatio shrugged in response. "I dunno, Horatio… What if someone wants to know who the baby's father is?"

"Not that it's any of their business," Horatio said first, and then added, "You can give them my name if you like…"

Frowning, Calleigh told him, "I wouldn't want that to get to IAB…"

"Don't worry about IAB, Calleigh… I can handle Stetler." Horatio smiled, "I promise I'll be here for you…you and the baby… You just let me know."

"Thank you," she whispered before leaning forward and wrapping her arms around him. "Thank you," she whispered again closing her eyes and letting tears fall from her eyes.

…………………………

TBC…