13

Ianto smelt Ash coming and stopped painting the wall of the cavern to turn and greet him, the book in Ash's hand telling him it had been read. The way he was carrying it was as if carrying a child.

"Well? No great bard but I hope the story flowed for you" Ianto quipped as he let the brush fall into the can of paint.

"This was… I mean … we all shared how we got here but … shit" Ash sat heavily and looked around the large room, "This is for Mimi?"

"Yes"

"She saw her mother die that night … her brother turned by their own father and….gods. So long ago but in these pages it is so … so fresh" Ash sighed as he placed the book on the rickety table the paint was being stored on.

"It is fresh, it was only a moment ago for me. If I live for a thousand years the memory of putting a bullet in the head of my beautiful sister…. It was a blink ago" Ianto picked up another paint can and started to shake it softly as he watched Ash formulate a question.

"In the Silo… when they thought you were turning and locked you away…you had waited or Jack, he didn't do the same. He promised but …"

"He couldn't" Ianto sighed as he abandoned the paint to sit in the other old splattered chair.

"Jack … he has lost many people. Look at how many souls we have here, a hundred give or take. Not a drop n the ocean of loss. Jack had lost hundreds, thousands of people he cared for. Loved. He loved me, even then. Even then…." Ianto picked at the paint on the table as he considered, "Even then I was more than he could handle. To lose me would… destroy him."

"The push to the lake … Gwen. Rhys is a good man, I never thought of him with anyone but Ali ya know" Ash sat back, "Funny how the world turns."

"I wanted you to understand … you read about the thing under the large rock at my Nainny and Poppy's compound right?"

"Your father, that was creepy. Dead creepy"

"Ash, he had been buried for twenty odd years and still a Z. Still able to reach for a child. Think about it. They are not going away. They will not starve and die, will not rot. They will still be here even in twenty years. Thirty? Forty? Let's not forget the ones who turn since. Those other survivalists who fuck up. They will always be there" Ianto wondered if he was making his point, "I have always strived to be better, more alert and …. forgiving."

"Evolve."

"Yes, yes. I evolve. I did evolve, I shall evolve. We are all evolving. My children … they are evolving too. You think yours are not? Maybe not like mine but … they are. We all are. They have to be smart, they have to problem solve, adapt and above all else, they need to bloody work as a team!" Ianto scolded without malice, "You see now? Gwen was not a team player. Janet was … well ... imagine Frankie on steroids. I loved her, she was a wonderful creature. Why we knew Frank would be too."

Ash considered and sighed softly, "We push and we push, still you forgive. Why? Why do you keep letting us slide?"

"Because I love you" Ianto laughed as he slapped the table, "I may want to bite your face off a little bit sometimes, but I do love you all"

"Wow, glowing endorsement" Ash laughed as well then became sober as he said softly, "Sorry. Sorry for all I did, challenging your decisions even when you only ever act in our best interests …. I will probably do it again with my dumb human ability to be a … shit. Anna .. she's not good is she."

"She is dying" Ianto nodded truthfully, looking away as he struggled with the words he had finality said out loud.

"You know do ya … fact or are just guessing?"

"I don't guess, when I say I am guessing I mean to say I am certain. Never trust my 'guessing' as just that. I do not make mistakes. Not now. Yes, Owen is confident that she has a few more years in her but… I don't know. I don't feel it in my bones. I already feel the loss."

"Shit"

"Yeah, it is really."

Both men stared wordlessly at the whitewashed walls, neither capable of another subject worthy after that one.

.

.

.

Anna shuffled to the toilet with Pip growling at her from the bed and she waved a hand back at him, "Don't scold. It will be a cold day in hell when Anna Mirabel Jones needs help to take a shit!"

Pop huffed, pulling the blankets up with his pudgy little hands and watching intently for her to return.

She was supposed to stay in bed the mad old mare.