One of us is big and brave, and one of us is tender hearted. One of us is temping fate and the last but not least of us has faith enough for each of us.
Lucy was sitting alone in the front room waiting for Peter. He was coming home from college today and she would be the only one to meet him. The front room sat in darkness and silence, the only movement Lucy's tapping foot.
Susan was working. She had gotten a job cleaning houses over the summer and had continued to work through the rest of the year. Lucy had over heard Susan saying something about needing to keep her self busy or she would go crazy. Lucy was worried that maybe Susan had been pretending to be okay with staying in England all this time.
Edmund was over at a friend's house. He had finally made some friends and was so happy to have new victims to listen to his theories that he was gone most of the time.
Their mother was busy running errands or something like that. Lucy hadn't really been listening when her mother had been talking. She was too excited to see her big brother again. They had not seen him since his brief break in the fall.
Lucy had been watching the window for hours, waiting for the car pull in the drive way. She knew she should be doing something else. She had a painting to finish and reading to catch up on for English class.
But she just couldn't tear herself from the window seat. She had really important news that she needed to tell Peter first. He was the eldest; he would know what they should do. She just had to wait until he got home. Then they could talk about this. Everything is going to be fine. Peter will know what to do.
Lucy sat holding her breath waiting for him to return. She was bursting to talk to him.
And then after all the waiting, the car appeared and Lucy sprang from her seat and out the door, connecting with Peter half way up the stairs.
"Hi Lu!" Peter said wrapping his arms around his sister. "You've grown again!"
"That's what happens when you get older," Lucy said with a laugh. Peter reluctantly let go of his sister so that the two could walk the rest of the steps up to their house.
"Where is everyone?" Peter said looking a little hurt that the entire family was not there to greet him.
"Susan is working, Edmund is at a friend's house and mother is out shopping," Lucy said picking up one of Peter's bags and helping him carry it upstairs.
"Well don't I feel unloved…" Peter said with a pout that made Lucy smile.
"It's better this way," Lucy said as they reached Peter's room. "I needed to talk to you alone anyway." Peter raised his eye brow at her. Lucy wanted to blurt everything out and get right to the point but knew that she needed to at least try and explain the current situation.
"Unpack first," Lucy said with a smile. "No point getting serious the second you get home." Peter gave her a suspicious look before turning and unpacking.
"How does Susan like her job?" Peter asked putting his shirts away.
"I think she secretly hates it. I heard her mumble something about being a Queen and it being beneath her," Lucy said with a smile. "I think she just likes having new people to take care of, and the spare pounds don't hurt either." Peter smiled at this.
"That sounds like Su. Some times if I didn't know better I would swear she is the oldest," Peter hung up his trousers.
"Well she is now in her own way," Lucy quipped. "With you off at college she is the oldest." Peter stuck his tongue out at her.
"Rub it in why don't you?" Lucy just gave her brother a big innocent smile saying she had no idea what he was talking about. Inside she was laughing. She had missed her big brother a lot more than she had realized until now. It was good to have him home.
"So Ed finally made friends?" Peter said with a laugh. "Who would have thought? I guess that means the world is coming to an end," Peter stopped unpacking to turn and wave at Lucy. "Quick! Under the desk! It will protect us!"
Lucy fell over laughing as she watched Peter dash across the room and squat under his desk.
"Too much?" Peter asked crawling out from under his desk.
Lucy scrunched her thumb and pointer finger together. "Just a little." Peter smiled and shrugged, clearly feeling that his joke was worth it.
"Well I am officially unpacked and you are now obligated to explain yourself," Peter said, taking on a mock regal tone, he even went so far as to point at her and look down his nose. Lucy smiled, and then she remembered what they needed to talk about and her smile fell.
"Eustace sent us a package…" Lucy began tentatively. Peter made no motion to rush her; he could tell this was important.
"He went back." Lucy said with and exhausted sigh. This is harder than I thought. "Eustace saw Him."
Lucy, like the other Pevensie children, had taken to calling Caspian "Him" over the past few years. It was a habit they had adopted when Susan had still been reeling from the loss of Narnia. And after that they had found saying his name aloud made the loss of Narnia so much more real and raw for all of them. It was opening a wound that had not yet healed.
Peter was rubbing his face with worry. He hadn't spoken yet. Lucy knew that over the years he had gotten better at waiting for his little sister to compose her thoughts, although his patience was more of an occurrence around Susan rather than Lucy.
"Eustace says…" Lucy gulped, feeling the tears well in her eyes, "Eustace says that…that…that he's dead."
Peter looked up at her from between his fingers with a kind of cold frozen stare. The look that only came after an extreme shock or disheartening news. This was both.
"How?" Was all that came from Peter's lips.
"Old age apparently," Lucy said biting back tears.
"Wife?" Peter said with an audible gulp. Lucy knew that Peter had been secretly hoping that Caspian never married so he would never have to break that news to Susan.
"Eustace met his son, Rilian," Lucy watched at as cold feeling settled over Peter. That was his middle name, something their mother had come up with. Peter had never told any one in Narnia.
"Who would have told him that?" Peter said still in his frozen state.
"Edmund and I didn't tell him…" Lucy said, not wanting to say that she suspected Susan as the traitor.
Peter had always hated his middle name. It was something of a family joke. But then again they all had odd middle names. Curtsies of their creative mother.
"There's more…" Lucy pulled the thick envelopes out of her jumper pocket and handed them to Peter. "Eustace said these were His last request."
Peter reached out hesitantly, like touching the paper itself would make of this so much more real and painful. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Peter took the letters.
Lucy had memorized the envelopes already. There were four. Each addressed to one of them in a large cursive script that Lucy recognized to be Caspian's writing. She had debated opening all of them, but they were wax sealed and knew the others would be upset if they found out she had opened something addressed to them.
The giant red seals had taunted her. It was the design of the Telmarine King, but it had changed. The starburst remained but flowers, like the ones in Lucy and Susan's crowns, circled it. This change had bothered Lucy the most. Why the flowers? Was it His way of embracing Narnia? If it was, why not use the designs from Peter's crown?
Lucy watched as Peter, one by one, turned each over in his hands, inspecting them.
"What do you think is in them?" Peter said after a moment.
"I don't know. Eustace said it was odd. He said that Caspian was acting odd," Lucy looked down at her hands, not sure what else to do.
"How so?" Peter said fingering the seal on his letter. There was a longing in his voice. Lucy could see that Peter was being taken back to Narnia.
"He said something to Eustace about seeing all of us very soon."
Peter's head shot up looking at Lucy is shock. He just stared at his little sister. It was an odd feeling to be the older brother and so often rely on a little sister for help. Over the years he had come to understand that his sister had some kind of hidden knowledge that he would never have access to. This was one of the moments. He felt confused but Lucy seemed to look pleased with this new information.
Maybe he would never understand things the way Lucy did.
"I think we should open them," Lucy said with a flourish. She was done waiting. She grabbed her letter out from Peter's hands and ripped open the seal.
Her breath caught when she saw the large script covered not one, but two full pages. Lucy felt her eyes water reading the first words.
Dear Queen Lucy the Valiant and my truest friend….
Peter watched his sister tear at her letter before he reluctantly picked up his. This was Caspian's dying wish, to give them all some kind of letter. Peter looked at his skeptically before he finally pulled the seal open.
Dear King Peter Rilian Pevensie the Magnificent (yes I know your secret)……
Peter would have been angry if he wasn't so heartbroken to read what he knew had to have been some of Caspian's last words.
Never let the world jade you from what truly makes you the valiant queen you are. Life is the most beautiful gift. Live every moment completely. Keep painting. Never be afraid to show the world your gifts.
Lucy could feel the tears pouring down her face, and for once in a long time she didn't care that she was crying.
For once in your life stop worrying about the others. I promise you Susan will be just fine. Edmund can take care of himself. And honestly, when did Lucy ever really need guidance. Stop being the protector and start being yourself. Live your life and not theirs just this once.
Peter felt an odd sense of relief at these words. Maybe growing old truly did give you real wisdom, because Caspian was saying the things that had been in his mind for so many years now.
Susan will be just fine. She is going to get married and have so many kids she will lose count. She will be perfectly happy. I have seen it.
Lucy smiled knowing that Caspian was speaking from personal experience. She wasn't sure how. But He had said they would be together, and Lucy believed that in some way they already were.
Time is such a fickle thing, but faith is unwavering.
Please give Susan her letter. I know you are worried about what it might say, but I promise you it's exactly what she needs to hear.
Peter wished he could yell back at Caspian, tell the King that there was no way he was risking it. But Caspian was dead and Peter had to settle for crumpling the paper.
Edmund came home to find the house almost silent, which was the first sign that something was up. The Pevensie children were not the silent type. What he found was not something Edmund would have expected.
Lucy was silently crying in Peter's room. Peter lay on his bed with a crumpled piece of paper on his face.
"Who died?" Edmund said with a laugh, wanting to lighten up the mood. Lucy burst into real tears and Peter looked very much like he might join her.
"Caspian," Lucy said between sobs. A ton of bricks landed on Edmund and he felt his body slide to the floor.
"Old age…" Peter said finally sitting up. He held out a thick envelope to Edmund. "This one is for you." Edmund nodded his head; he didn't have to be told twice.
It felt surreal to hold Narnia parchment in his hand again, to see a wax seal. You knew this was coming soon, the time lines dictated it, Edmund told himself. He pulled the seal away to find not a long letter, but a short, to the point note.
Edmund, STOP THINKING! You are wasting what is left. You know the time lines are moving toward this. You need to live while you still can. Susan will be taken care of. Don't try and explain what you know to the others, you cannot change it even if you try. Don't take for granted what you have left. I will see you in Aslan's country.
Caspian.
To other's a longer note might have had more feeling. But the directness. The understanding. Caspian had confirmed his concerns and for some reason that had more of an impact on Edmund than any drawn out letter ever could.
Edmund had noticed that it looked as if a major turning point was about to happen in both time lines. Now he knew for sure, and he also knew the ending was not a completely happy one. Some how that made him feel numb more than anything else.
"He really is gone," was all Edmund said as he sat on Peter's floor.
None of them spoke. There was still one letter left.
It sat in the center of the room and all of them looked at it. This one letter could be a big help or a big problem.
It was late when Susan finally got home. Her hands were raw and her knees scrapped. She felt worse today than she had even after that battle.
And yet she kept working. Why? She wondered. Because doing this makes you remember you are stuck here. Because beating up your body is a good reminder you are no longer a Queen.
The house was dark. The only light came from the kitchen. She headed that way.
They were there, all three of them sitting. Susan wanted to race over and hug her big brother. But something in the silence stopped her. Something's not right.
"It's for you," Peter said, tilting his head toward an envelope on the table.
Her breath caught.
She knew that paper.
She knew that seal.
She loved that handwriting.
Her hands trembled.
Now it's going to get harder and it's going to burn brighter and it's going to feel tougher each and every day, So let me say that i love you. You're all I've ever wanted all I've ever dreamed of. I will love you with my entire being, even now as I go to Aslan's country. You will always be the most perfect thing in my life.
See you soon.
Your Caspian.
That was it. But it was more than she could have hoped for. It was perfect.
Susan smiled. Tears fell.
Peter sighed, relieved.
Lucy smiled.
Edmund smiled.
Susan smiled, truly. Faith is unwavering.
Hi readers! Thank you all for waiting so long for this chapter. Life got really out of control for a while and work took over all of my spare time. The doctors have started to say that the cancer might be winning. So as you might have guessed my dad came first.
Few things to clear up! Remember that the England and Narnia timelines do not match up. Susan is moved back in time. I hope its not too confusing. This is my final farewell chapter. The next will be Caspian, followed be the train crash.
Quote is from I Will Believe by Nicole Nordeman. The song is a Christian one based on the first movie. But I felt that it really worked for this chapter. Because yes, Edmund does know that they are all going to die. I felt it would be something that he would some how figure out. So he is again tempting fate.
Please review!
Love -E