The Sardonic Adventure of Briar Casey
Author's Note: Mortal opposite- meaning that it's the complete opposite of something else.
Dodgerjoey has just added himself to my list of awesome people. Aren't they the best?
Did anyone get my Adventure Time reference? Please? Anyone? And when N tells Briar to follow his lead, I imagined it like Sherlock Homes telling Adler to follow his lead in the movie. So there's another reference.
One more thing: FABULA HAS FOUND OUT A WAY TO GET WORDPAD DOCUMENTS ONTO MICROSOFT WORD! YAY!
Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.
Chapter 12
The City of Leisure
After N confessed his undying love- I mean that he was the king of Team Plasma- I decided that I needed to vent my anger to someone. Can you say Earl? (Answer: Not necessarily. You can also say Estroy, Luckwin, Sequopah, etc.)
Apparently, I was not the only one who needed to vent my anger.
"Take that, you stupid jocks!" Cilan exclaimed as a cluster of muscle-heads ran from the two sports.
"How scrawny are we now?" Earl yelled.
"Very scrawny," I answered, prompting the two to turn around. And I must've looked pretty B.A., because their faces fell and they both jumped about a foot away. "I just can't leave you two alone, can I?"
"Uh... uh..." Cilan stammered.
"H-Hey, B-Briar," Earl choked out. I advanced towards them and, before they could run away, I grabbed them both by the ear and began dragging their as-
"Briar! Earl! Cilan!" Still painfully pinching their ears, we all turned around and, sure enough, saw Dina and Jazelle.
"Hey guys," I greeted, dragging Earl and Cilan with me towards our companions.
"Briar, could you please release my brother?" Dina winced.
"Your brother let off what appears to be a stink bomb in the sports stadiums with spice-man over here, and therefore he deserves it, but fine." I released Earl's red ear, but promptly smacked the back of his head. Needless to say he scurried out of my reach. "And I guess I forgive you too, Greenie." Cilan followed in his new best friend's footsteps.
"So, besides terrorizing muscle-brained jocks, what have you been up to?" Jazelle questioned.
"They've been losing to those same muscle-brained jocks, and I've been a good Samaritan and beaten up grunts right and left. And found out that... never mind." Why tell them now? I'd wait until it was needed. Or maybe N would take them up on the Ferris wheel himself.
Then, out of the stinky smoke, emerged the very same cluster of jocks I'd seen before, and they picked out Earl and Cilan like a hawk spots a mouse. Advancing towards the two idiots, Earl looked at Jazelle desperately.
"Can't you, like, beat them up or something?" he prodded, shivering.
"You're the one that set a stink bomb in the stadium!" she protested.
"Hey! It's the loser and his waiter that suck at football!" they chanted.
"Oh man," I muttered, "they're gonna kill you."
"Run!" Earl and Cilan yelled simultaneously. And they were mid-step, when their green-haired savior and his stupidly dressed pawns swooped down to save their sorry butts.
"I bet they've taken advantage of their Pokémon," a familiar calm voice stated. Suddenly, the area was swarming with Team Plasma grunts, all blocking the path between the jocks and us. And, from the midst of them, appeared N.
"Wait... you... what?" Dina stuttered, confused.
"He's the king of Team Plasma," I added stoically, flicking my hair. "Did I forget to mention that?"
"Yes!" Earl stammered.
"Who's this guy?" Jazelle asked, cocking her head.
"I am N, and yeah, I'm the king of Team Plasma," he replied, swatting at the air around his nose.
"Wait, you're those guys that were kicking to Munna-"
"Um, guys?" Cilan interrupted, sounding scared. "So sorry to interrupt this dramatic reveal, but there's a baker's dozen jocks that would find a lot of pleasure in beating mine and Earl's brains in, so can we leave?"
"Oh, yeah, good idea!" N agreed, and we all fled the smelly scene. We ran down the street, small Jazelle at the head, and didn't stop until we were a few feet away from the very sign that N and I had crossed underneath no more than two hours before.
"Okay, so I'm just gonna give the synopsis of king-boy's sad little story to save him the breath," I stated. Before he could object, I began. "So a few grunts ran off after me and a couple of awesome artist chicks from Hoenn kicked their a-"
"Briar..."
"Butts, and being the gentleman every king must be, N lead to me the theme park where he said they were. We boarded the Ferris wheel, hoping to get a better look, when he confessed his undying love for me."
"What?" everyone exclaimed at the same time, N the loudest of all.
"Just kidding," I assured, not changing my expressionless face or tone of voice at all. "He did confess that he was the king of Team Plasma, though, and then made me battle him when we got off. He says it was because he was trying to get the grunts that mysteriously showed up away, but I don't believe him. Doesn't matter, I kicked his butt with Seary. So, everyone's caught up now, right? Good? Good. And that lair in Castelia? N.H.? It was N Harold? Hoffman?"
"Harmonia, and there's a lot more to my story than that, Briar," he scoffed.
"Big deal!" And, suddenly, I noticed Rae's tall form towering over everyone. "We just saw a few knights stealing some old dude's Herdier! I had to get my Sandile to bite him and scare him off!"
"Yeah, man," Chloe agreed, shaking her head of red curls. "You need to just write a sad poem in your journal, and move on. You're hurting people."
"Are you kidding?" Rae shouted, leaning forward. "Harmonia just don't care!" Zorua appeared around her shoulder and barked his agreement.
"Is that true?" Jazelle asked, her blue eyes looking like little fires.
"I-I had no idea! They were stealing Pokémon? Was that old man beating the Herdier or something?"
"You kidding? He was feeding the Pidove!" Chloe scoffed.
"I... I don't know why they'd do that-"
"YOU JERK!" N was lucky that Cilan grabbed the little karate master like at the museum, or his kind-of cute face would have very quickly become... not cute. "It was your people that were kicking the Munna in the Dreamyard! It's no wonder that they hadn't been showing up! It's you mistreating Pokémon, you hypocrites!"
"Th-that's not what we're supposed to be doing at all!" N insisted, stepping back. "I need to talk to them! To Ghetsis!"
"You better," I agreed, as emotionless as ever. "You're really being made into the bad guy right now."
"I... I'll make it up to you," he promised, looking down and pretty pathetic. Even I felt a little sorry for him. But not as much as Dina.
"It's okay, N!" she insisted, running up to him. He looked at her, shocked. "We can all tell you had no idea what was going on with the grunts! Right, guys?" She looked at everyone, giving us a look that melted our hearts.
"Of course we do," I agreed for everyone, leaning against the sign and examining my nails. N looked at everyone, then at Dina, and finally away from us all. From where I stood, though, it looked as if he was... blushing?
Suddenly, Zorua began yipping from his post on Rae's shoulder. He jumped down, much to his owner's dismay, and began running towards the stadiums, to everyone else's dismay.
"Zorua! Wait up!" Rae began to chase after him, Chloe close behind, and the rest of us found ourselves following. The massive cloud seemed to have cleared out, as well as the jocks and the grunts.
"I should probably be worried," N remarked.
"Be worried later!" I ordered. "It's illogical to pick a wannabe knight over an adorable transforming fox!" This really wasn't a very good argument, but he followed us anyway. Zorua led us into a route to the side of town. It had a smaller gate than usual, and was outshined by the Musical Theater, so it's not hard to imagine someone missing it. Zorua scampered on through, and Rae ducked and followed.
The route was like a garden in a city house. You couldn't see it directly, but you couldn't get away from the urban influence. The smell, the noises, the people, you could see the city in them. But it was still calm. And Zorua kept on scampering. We all scrambled up the asphalt road, nearly knocking down some bikers and runners. Soon, the little black fox had led us further into the woods, and now there were fewer people and lots more grass. It was hard to see Zorua, even though I was the third tallest person in the group. Luckily, Rae and N seemed to have tracking down, and soon we found him sitting and staring up at a trailer, wagging his tail.
"What's in here?" Rae asked, scooping her tired Pokémon into her arms.
"Pokémon," N replied excitedly. "I can hear them."
"Oh, yeah, he can talk to Pokémon. For everyone besides me, Earl, Dina, and possibly Cilan," I informed. "I forget if he mentioned it when you two met." N, not deterred by my remark about him, ascended the steps and knocked on the door. There was no answer.
"Are you sure you're little Pokémon friend's alive?" Jazelle asked, cocking her head and squinting her eyes, like she often did when she was confused.
"Positive," N confirmed. "I can't hear her if she's dead, can I?" He tried the knob, and it did all but come off in his hands. The door creaked open, and it revealed a dark interior to a mediocre trailer. Light flooded in from around N, like it was desperate to feed the deprived home. And inside... was a woman. No Pokémon. Just a woman.
"Looks like your sixth sense failed you," Chloe stated matter-of-factly, looking inside the trailer the woman. "No Pokémon."
"What do you mean?" N asked. "She's right there." He pointed to the woman, whose eyes were narrowing at her intruders.
"That's a woman," Rae corrected, looking over their shoulders and holding Zorua up so he could see, too. Suddenly, the woman let out an inhuman cry and transformed into another black Pokémon, with what looked like red hair and some more red fur on her neck and tail. With speed that put Jazelle's to shame, she flawlessly snatched Zorua from Rae's shoulders and cradled him.
"A Zoroark?" Dina and Jazelle exclaimed.
"Told you," N muttered.
"Hey! Give Zorua back!" Rae ordered. She pushed past her cousin and N and advanced into the cabin. Zoroark growled defensively, clutching Zorua to her chest. But the mischievous little thing wiggled from her grasp and ran to his true momma. Zoroark began to chase him, but stopped and hung her head.
"She's looking for her son," N translated, looking suspiciously and Rae.
"This Zorua is mine!" she barked.
"Are you sure?" I prodded. "This may turn out to be like cheesy late-night movies and I don't want to be depressed."
"This is my Zorua," Rae insisted, and I've never heard a more confident voice. "He's the son of my aunt's Zoroark, and we just saw my aunt in Driftveil."
"Okay, good, because like I said, I don't want to be depressed today."
"But what are we gonna do about her Zorua?" Dina asked, petting the Zoroark's head.
"She says that he hasn't been gone long, only since yesterday. She also says he's probably in the city," N translated.
"How the crap did you do that? She didn't even make any noise!" I demanded.
"I grew up around Pokémon. They don't need to talk," N remarked. "Now, come on, her Zorua couldn't have gotten far. He's somewhere in the city."
"There's one problem." Everyone turned to our resident redhead. "Zorua can change forms. We could be staring right at him and not even know!"
"What- oh, yeah, she just said that. But... she's also saying that he laughs more than most Zorua. All you have to do is look at him and he'll start cracking up. Do you know what a Zorua's laugh sounds like?"
"Zorua!" Rae ordered. "Laugh!" Zorua let out his signature giggle, and inside this creepy dark trailer, it was easily burned into our brains.
"We'll be back soon," N assured the worried mother, who morphed back into a woman. Really, I didn't know why she couldn't just come with us, but oh well. Maybe it's a Mom thing. Or and N thing.
Anyway, we were soon back in the city of leisure, even though that title seemed less and less appropriate. It was really awkward, looking for the other Zorua, because we had to look everyone deeply into the face. I swear, everyone must've thought we were nuts. I was about to start ranting about how completely stupid we were being, when the tallest, most beautiful Unovian woman I'd ever seen did it for me.
"What are you doing?" she questioned.
"We're looking for a Zorua," Chloe informed, since all the guys seemed suddenly incapable of speech. Probably because they'd never seen someone so certifiably beautiful before, combined with the fact that they're idiots. "If you look him in the eyes, he laughs."
"A Zorua, huh?" she asked, rubbing her perfectly pointed chin. "Hm... I think I can help you." She grinned a patented smile that I'm pretty nearly gave every man within a ten-foot radius of us a heart attack. "I'm Elesa. Follow me to my gym."
"Wait, you're the gym leader?" I gawked, because 1) she was so much taller than me and had a Unovian accent and 2) I didn't know it was legal for gym leaders to be so gorgeous. "Whoa..." My surprise deepened when I entered her gym: it was a roller coaster. But we didn't have to enter a car (to my disappointment.)
"Lily?" Elesa called to a nearby trainer. She turned to us, a bundle in her arms, and I realized that if I combined her and Jazelle I'd have Gracie back.
"Yes, Ms. Elesa?" She asked, trying to control the wiggling bundle. Oh.
"I think I know where that Zorua belongs. I'll take him." The girl didn't seem to have a problem giving him up, but the Zorua seemed to have a problem going to Elesa (probably the first guy to ever feel that way.) He jumped from their arms, and Rae's followed in his footsteps. They began to sniff each other and all that dog stuff, undaunted by the chaos around. Cue birth of a friendship.
"I don't think you'll have a problem with those two," Elesa remarked. "Can you take it from here?"
"Yes, ma'am," Dina replied already backing out the door. She wasn't a fan of loud noises, either.
"But I'll see some of you again, won't I?" she questioned, eyeing me and Earl. You know, he hadn't made up a new name today. Probably because those jocks had thought up plenty.
"Yes, you will," I replied, grinning.
"Thank you," N said, bowing. Looks like someone regained control of their brain. If he'd ever even lost it (I'd been looking more at Earl and Cilan, since their expressions were surely funnier.) Anyway, we all raced back to the woods, the Zoruas and Jazelle in the lead once more. We arrived completely out of breath, but human Zoroark opened the door for us. The other Zorua let out a squeal and ran to her, and she quickly transformed and caught him.
"Awwww," all the girls (and Cilan) sighed at the same time.
"Hey, look!" Earl exclaimed. The forest was no longer a forest; it was now a meadow, with the most beautiful wildflowers imaginable.
"So this was actually a meadow the entire time," N noted. "Zoroark really is the master of illusion." Turning back to us, he ruefully continued: "Listen, as the king, I need to find the grunts. I'll talk to them and Ghetsis about what you said. But, for now, farewell." We all said bye like we were best friends because, really, who doesn't wanna be buds with a king?
"I think we'll stay here," Chloe stated. "This is heaven for artists."
"And for Zoruas!" Rae laughed, pointing to the Pokémon playing in the flowers.
"Well, we've should head back," I decided. "Jazelle, can you take babysitting duty for these two? Can't have them blowing up the Musical Theater. But Dina and I have some training to do."
Author's Note: If you've made it this far on your first reading, congratulations! Your attention span is longer than most Americans'. And SkullChicka's. (That's right, America, I'm talking to you.)
And if you didn't get at least one reference in here... Oh my goodness.
Thanks for reading and please review!