AN~ WARNING! Mayor spoilers for Abyss! My first attempt at 1stPPOV so be nice please.
(Deep-voiced-voice-over-guy: "Previously on Light God")
"Bits of it came back to me throughout the day. Now I remember all of it. Our whole wedding, everything I was thinking about, how I was feeling, everything." he met her eyes with a grateful and serious expression on his face. "… And what you did before it."
Her blush deepened. "It was nothing."
"It was everything." he corrected.
She hid her shyness behind a smile. "I insist that you tell me everything. Start at the beginning and do not leave any details out." she said with all the innocence of a child asking for a bedtime story. She was practically bouncing in her seat with glee and excitement.
"Okay." How could he not when she asked him like that, with her eyes twinkling with joy. "The first thing I remember was thinking…"
Chapter Ten - Flashback into the Abyss
'This is ridiculous! How is it possible to get butterflies when technically I don't have a stomach' asI mused I realised that had been tapping my foot subconsciously. I stopped and huffed. Clearly I had some nervous energy that I needed to expel. I shouldn't be this nervous. I knew that. After all what was there to be nervous of? Getting married? Nope, done that before. Doubting her feelings for me? Nope, felt them for myself, they're pure as they come…So what was it? My foot started up again.
I was thinking back to my first marriage with Sha're a lot recently. It seemed like such a long time ago. Another lifetime in fact. Which I guess in some twisted way, it was. We had been married before I even realised it. 'Maybe the Aybdonians got it right'. There was no chance to get nervous. No proposal, no engagement, no night before the wedding… No chance to miss her. Bingo! There it was, the reason for the tightness in my stomach. My apprehension. I missed her.
I just wasn't used to being alone anymore. Ever since I ascended I've always had company. The ancients (although not a very talkative bunch) always seemed to instinctively group together. Being parted from The Others, that I was used to. My connection to Oma and my views on interference, which I viewed as loudly as I could at every available opportunity, saw to that, but being completely alone was new. It made me uncomfortable. 'Only got myself to blame I suppose. Don't know why I insisted on this pointless tradition in the first place. Still, only another twenty-four hours to go.'
Since my ascension I had spent nearly all of my time with Oma listening to her teachings and helping her cause. Learning how to walk that invisible line and how to assist others in their own ascension. I dedicated every moment to it, that is until I met Leesia.
The feelings between us had been instantaneous.
It wasn't love at first sight, because that would imply that it was only the mere sight of her that had sent my heart into spasm. No, this was love at first sense. Every sense I had was drawn to her. The way she looked, the way she smelled, the sound of her voice. Each pulled at me, but it was the instant that we had placed our palms together in the customary greeting that had truly blown my mind.
The Others closed off their emotions so a greeting like this between them had been nothing more than a slight warmth. The feelings nothing more than a polite smile would be. However, the feelings I got from her as the flow of our energies had sparked between us stunned me completely.
I had felt everything from her. Her passion, her calm understanding and a mischievous side that peaked my curiosity. I wanted, no I needed to know more.
Hesitantly I probed further into her soul. Feeling more than a little awkward, but she freely allowed my energies so deep within herself. Opening herself to me so wholly to all my curiosities that I found it hard not to real away when faced with such open honesty. She amazed me, fascinated me and I was coaxed further into the beauty of her spirit.
As I explored her being, I felt her wonder through mine. Gently delving into my soul. Spreading a comforting warmth through my whole being. A warmth that continued to grow exponentially the more of me she explored. The warmth was simply shocking in its innocence. Overwhelming in its intensity.
I noticed the moment she found my feelings towards her and I recoiled in embarrassment. I hadn't even said two words to this woman and yet here she was sensing my burning passion for her from deep within me. But as I did she brought her own feelings closer to the surface. Presenting them to me like a gift. Laid them bare before me and I instantly realised that they matched my own. Her energies tweaked inside me and began stroking away all my doubts and fears.
Just before we dropped our physical connect I felt a change. A shift inside myself, like my insides moving up a gear. Again I felt the need to recoil through the sheer intensity of the emotions. With her essence and mine merged together I was… whole…complete. With our spirits embraced with each others I had found my own personal euphoria and I knew that from that very moment I would always love her.
The whole exchange had lasted only a few seconds to everyone else, but to Leesia and I it seemed like a lifetime had just flown past us.
"Oh god." I had gasped staring in wonder.
"I know." she had agreed with a tremble.
From that moment we had barely been parted. Until now.
I huffed out a long sigh and tried to thrust my fists into my pockets, but failed. I looked down. These pants didn't have pockets. Another huff, this one out of annoyance and a small shift in my personal appearance and I was able to stuff my hands into the pockets I hadn't had moments ago. 'If only everything about being Ascended was that easy.'
Why had I insisted on this stupid tradition? It was ludicrous considering the very nature of an Ancient wedding.
The Ascended thought of marriage a little differently from what I was used to. It was just a simple choice, literally the vows and that was it. No flowers, no cake, not even a set time or place. There was a lot to be say for the simplicity, but I wanted it to be special. Our feeling to each other were so complex and deep that to not make an event of our joining just seem…well, blasphemous. And so I had asked for a few changes. Happily, she had agreed. She was always eager to please me.
However, nearly all of the Earth traditions that I had considered where flawed in one mayor way. We were ascended being so physical objects were inane. Although it wasn't impossible to interact with them, they were unnecessary. That meant no rings. Drinking from the same cup also a no go. Even pushing cake into each others faces was out the window. No bouquet to throw or garter to flick. So I had embraced each and every single tradition that we could follow.
First thing I had done was set a date, time and place for the 'wedding' (Whatever it was to them I would still insisted on it being called a wedding). The beautiful golden shores of Malgena, under the setting of the three resident suns was perfect. We would get our first dance together as husband and wife and I damn well would get to kiss my bride after the vows.
But right now I was having difficulty remembering exactly why I had insisted on the 'couple not seeing each other the night before the wedding' tradition. It seemed so futile now, there had been no hen or stag parties to attend and getting ready was no more than a thought. Stupid and pointless. I missed her too much already and the night had barely begun. I had no idea how I was going to make it through the night without her warmth.
But as it turned out I didn't have to.
I sensed her presence before I saw her. Feeling her light tingle up my spine as she appeared. I turned to face her and smiled gratefully. "I thought we'd agreed that we weren't going to see each other till tomorrow." I said, my tone mocking. I loved the pouting expression she gave me when I teased her.
However, it didn't come. Instead she looked at me with sorrow and concern in her beautifully bright eyes. When she spoke her voice reflected the same emotions that I had read clearly on her face. "I am sorry to break your Earth tradition, but I believed you would wish to know immediately. I have just learn that the Excubitary witnessed Jack O'Neill's capture by a Goa'uld."
"Why are The Excubitary watching Jack?" I asked frowning. The Others policing the Ancients I was used to, but them observing my friend was not what I expected.
"They watch all those who carry the gene." Leesia told me simply with a slight shrug, as if the answer should have been obvious. "Jack O'Neill is currently being held and tortured by the Goa'uld know as Ba'al."
"Why?"
"He wishes to know why Jack had returned alone. It would appear that the Tok'ra symbiote Jack carried left the Base undetected when he -"
"Whoa!" I interrupted, holding my hands up to halt her. "Symbiote? Then there's been a mistake. Jack would never agree to a blending."
Her voice was sympathetic. "He was dying."
"Even then!" I told her adamantly.
She stared at me a little stunned. "Then he is as stubborn as you are."
"Worse." I agreed shaking my head.
"That is not possible."
We were getting off topic. "The Excubitary shared all that with you?"
Leesia kept her eyes down as she spoke. "No, they do not confide in me as they once did."
"Because of me?" I knew that my difference of opinion had lead to many a heated argument. They didn't like my views. Well, the feeling was mutual. But I didn't expect them to be so petty as to tar Leesia with the same brush just because we were betrothed.
"That is of no consequence now." she said, waving away my question. Which told me instantly that it was my fault that her friends were shunning her. But the bright look in her eyes also told me that she didn't care. She loved me, knew I loved her, that was all that mattered. "When I learned that it was your friend I went to inspect the situation. Your friends at Earth are holding a Tok'ra for further information to his whereabouts. They hope to mount a rescue, though I fear it is impossible."
'She doesn't know SG-1'. I thought. "There must be a way."
"There is, Jack needs only inform Baal why the Tok'ra returned. If he distastes them as much as you make it seem then that should be simple, especially as the symbiote abandoned him to his fate there."
"I should go. Talk to him."
"If you interfere..." her voice was shrill and panicked.
"I won't!" I insisted quickly, making my words a promise.
"I could not bear it if I were to lose you."
I pulled her into my arms, so her head rested on the crock of my shoulder and placed a kiss in her silken hair and firmly told her "That's never going to happen."
I felt her lips press against the side of my Adam's apple, sending a large tingle through me. "I just love you so much." she whispered to me.
I kissed her again, gave her a gently smile and vanished.
…
The artificial gravity of the cell I found Jack in had no effect on me. As an ascended being I had no physical body for the force to pull on. I made a quick decision and positioned myself hovering on one of the built in benches that ran up the 'walls' of the stone room. It felt a little odd, sitting at a right angle, with the 'floor' on my right and the 'ceiling' on my left, but Jack was going to find my appearance hard enough to accept without seeing me walking on the walls as I would appear to be from Jack's perspective.
I made myself visible and called softly, "Hi, Jack." trying to keep my tone light and causal, well as casual as I could considering the last time I had seen him I had been on my death bed.
Jack heard my voice and slowly turned to face me. I gave a little wave of greeting and then folded my hands together on my lap.
"Daniel…" he hid his surprise well.
"I leave, and look at the mess you get yourself into." it was all too easy to slip back into the playful banter that we were so used to.
Jack didn't reply. He just continued to stare at me.
"It's good to see you." I continued, there was no need to say more. Jack would be aware of exactly how true that statement was.
"Yeah, you too." came the reply in a cautious tone. "It's a shame you're a delusion." Jack resumed slowly lowering himself onto the bench on the opposite side of the cell.
"No, I'm here. I'm…really here." I was insistent.
Nevertheless, Jack looked dubious "Sure you are."
Knowing how sceptical he could be at the best of time I had expected to have to convince him. However, I wasn't expecting the shoe that Jack suddenly threw at me. I needlessly winced, turning my head away from the flying footwear, but it passed harmlessly through my chest, rebounding off the wall behind me and returned back through my stomach, before bouncing on the floor (well, wall) between us.
I continued quickly speaking before he could throw the other one at me. "Here in the sense that my consciousness is here, if not here in the full physical flesh and blood sense," I said circled his hands around each other as I tried to explain in the simplest way possible. "Which is really…neither…here nor there. The point is, you're not imaging this."
"I just tossed my shoe through you." Jack said pointing at me. His eyebrows raised, as if daring me to deny the facts.
"Yes you did. That's because I've ascended to another plane of existence."
"Ohhh." Jack still sounding unconvinced.
I didn't expect Jack to be this closed minded. I should have known better I guess, but he had seen me ascend after all. "Remember Oma Desala, the whole…glowing thing, you helped me out. I couldn't have done that without you, remember that?"
"Yeah."
"I'm…I'm energy now."
"How's that working out for you?"
"Good, actually…very…" I said fighting to hold back a smile. I was bursting to tell him all about Leesia. How meeting the beautiful Ancient had turned my life around. Healed me.
"Good."
"Very good." I continued, itching to share my joy with his best friend, but now was not the time for pleasantries. "You…however…"
"Yeah, well…you know what it's like, coming back from the dead." Jack said as he scooped up his discarded shoe. "Takes a while to get the colour back in your cheeks."
"Yeah…"
Jack took a seat the opposite side of the cell. For a long moment he looked thoughtful and then he used his shoe to point at me. "So…not a delusion?" he asked, still sounding unsure, but it was the break through that I needed.
"No." I said shaking his head. I kept his voice calm.
"Okay…show me your stuff. Bust me outta here."
'One step forward, two steps back.' I thought, trying to understand why Jack couldn't just accept that I was here, rather than needed proof. "I can't."
"Why not?"
'Because I'm an Ancient, not David Copperfield.' I wanted to say, but of course I didn't."I'm not allowed to interfere."
"You're interfering right now."
"No, I'm not." I said quickly, hoping that Leesia wasn't listening, or keeping an eye on me. I could already see the 'I told you so' look on her face.
"Yes, you are." Jack argued.
"No, I'm not. I am consoling a friend." I told him, also speaking to Leesia if she had decided to watch me.
…
"He was quite adamant. He wanted me to use my powers to break him out. I tried to explain that I couldn't, but I know he didn't understand. Its not his nature. Or maybe he just wanted proof that he wasn't actually nuts." Daniel laughed.
He slowed the jeep to a halt as the traffic lights turned red and took the opportunity to have a glance at his wife. Leesia was gleaming with delight as she listened intently to his tale, hanging on his every word.
"Just out of curiosity, where you watching?" he asked her.
"I may have had a small peek." she admitted her mischievous grin playing on her features.
He kept his gaze on her, his eyebrows raised in disbelief.
"I was concerned for you." she said in defence of her actions.
He continued to stare, lifting his eyebrows higher and pulling his lips into a knowing half smile.
"Okay, all right. I was there the whole time." she confessed with a huff.
"So I don't need to tell you this then." he said his attention back on the road ahead.
Her eyes went wide, but this time it was with disappointed shock. "No, please continue." she begged.
He chuckled. Took her hand and placed it on his thigh where he held it, before he granted her request. "Jack didn't know why the Tok'ra had gone to that planet. Other than it had something to do with one of Ba'al's slave girls. I realised that if the symbiote had managed to keep it a secret from Jack then he must have kept it quiet from everyone. No one knew he was there. No one was coming for a rescue and even if they did the place was a fortress. It was just going to continue until Ba'al figured Jack was not worth reviving anymore. But the damage he would sustain in the sarcophagus in the meantime would be…well he wouldn't be Jack anymore."
Daniel took a big sigh. "There was only one way I could help him…"
…
"So…you wanna be my Oma?" Jack said sounding mocking.
Only Jack could describe something as spiritual and wondrous as ascending to a higher level of consciences as simply as that. "You could put it that way," I said. "I mean, I wouldn't, but maybe that's just me."
"And then what?" he wanted to know.
"Then…then I don't know."
"You don't know?" Jack sounded shocked.
"No. No, ascension doesn't make you all-knowing. I mean, I really…don't know."
"If I'm catching the next plane of existence outta here, you gotta give me something." he was getting agitated now.
"It's your journey. No one but you can choose what you become or the path you take. All I can promise you is it will be an amazing journey." the wonder in my voice could have convinced the most closed minded of people.
But Jack, being Jack, was a different matter. He was currently muttering under his breath, I couldn't hear what he was saying but judging by the tone he was using he was getting more than a little frustrated with the situation.
He would never ascend while he was carrying all that anger and doubt. "Once you release your burden."
"Daniel, so help me, if you start talking like Oma…" Jack warned. I knew that tone. I've heard it a hundred times before, been the cause of it for most. But, as always I wasn't going to let it stop me.
"I'm not talking like Oma Desala." I argued.
"Sounds like Oma to me." Jack argued right back.
"No, no, no…see, Oma Desala would say something like…uh, uh, if you know the candle is fire then the meal was cooked a long time ago or something like that."
"Why?"
'That's a good question' I remembered thinking the same thing when she said it to me. "To open your mind."
Of course Jack had his own take on things. "Though a candle burns in my house…there's nobody home." he said pointing to his head.
I sighed, my fists clenched in frustration. I stood and began pacing to calm my temper. I could feel the energies within me strengthening and needed to expel some of it. "Okay. Let's take this one step at a time. This has to be something you want. I can't do this for you."
"One step at a time?"
"One step at a time." I agreed and for about a nanosecond I thought I had gotten through to him.
"Oh, there's gotta be another way outta here."
"Jack…"
"What if you did a little scouting for me? That'd be all right wouldn't it?"
"No."
"I'm not asking you to knock down walls or anything, just a little recon."
"Ba'al is just gonna torture you again." we were both speaking quickly, overlapping each other.
"Or…uh, uh Zat gun…help me get my hands on a Zat gun."
"The next time is gonna be worse."
"That's when we move, the next time they come for me."
"You can't fight your way out of this."
"Then help me!" Jack said through gritted teeth.
"Not that way!"
The sound of a mechanism opening made us both look up to the entranceway. I felt my jaw dropped open in shock when I saw Leesia looking down at us. I hadn't felt her, the sneaky little minx. Her brow was creased in concern.
"They're coming?" I asked her.
She nodded once to me. "You need to come away now." she told me softly.
"They can see you, right?" Jack asked me, clearly he couldn't see or hear Leesia and had assumed I was talking to him. "We can use that."
"I'll be back." I said to them both.
"A distraction. That's all I'm asking for." Jack asked.
At the same time Leesia said. "You cannot come back Daniel. You are risking too much just being here."
I glared at her briefly, before turning back to Jack. "I promise." I told him pointedly.
"I wish you had not done that." she said to me as I allowed her to coax me away from the cell. "You can not go back Daniel. The Others will be watching you."
"Let them watch. They never do anything anyway." I snapped. I was fed up with their ludicrous rules. Observe, but not interfere? They were no better than peeping toms.
"Daniel do you realise the hour?" she asked me.
I honestly hadn't. Too wrapped up with trying to break through Jack's thick skull to notice how much time had passed.
The time that I myself had set (had insisted on) for our wedding was fast approaching. Going back would mean missing it. Keeping my promise to Jack meant breaking mine to Leesia.
"If you are not present at the ceremony they will be very suspicious." she should of known better. A threat would not make me re-think my position. Would not stop me.
"Do you not wish us to wed?" But that would.
I had to turn away from that look on her face. I didn't want to see the pain that I was causing her.
I didn't want to hurt her, but this was a matter of Jack's life, his soul. What choice did I have? "I have to go back. I promised."
"I understand your need to be there, Daniel. I do, truly, but this situation is precarious. The Others are not aware of your actions at the present, however if you fail to appear at our wedding…"
"I have to. I'm sorry."
…
When I arrived back in the cell I found Jack lying on the floor (or wall to my perspective). He was staring up at the entrance mumbling something under his breath that I didn't quite catch. I stood over him, looking down and asked him who he was talking to.
"The woman." Jack simply told me, his tone dry.
He didn't advert his eyes from the hatchway. It worried me. The sarcophagus must be having an effect on him already…Unless Leesia was back. I looked up at the entranceway half expecting -half hoping- to see her watching us both again, but of course she was not there. No one was, the hallway was void of all life. I turned back to Jack. This was worse than I feared. The sarcophagus was making him see things. I was running out of time.
"There's nobody there." I said sympathetically.
"Look who's talking." Jack replied sardonically.
I had that coming I guess and I took some small relief that at least the Colonel's wit seemed unaffected, but I wondered how many more times it would take for that also to be destroy by the soul sucking device. "Does it still hurt?" I asked.
"No."
"Told you I'd come back."
"If the Daniel Jackson I knew was really here…"
"I am."
"Then do something!"
I hung my head. We were going round in circles. He quickly got to his feet. I guess he had seen my weakness and wanted to take advantage of my doubt.
"You listen to me. I don't wanna go through that again. If you were really my friend and had the power to stop it, you'd stop it!"
He was right and I knew it. "The hardest part of being who or what I am is having the power to change the things I want to change and knowing that I can't. Even when I'm certain, even when it's…absolutely clear to me, even when it affects the people I care about. Because for all I can do, I'm no more qualified to play God than the Goa'uld are."
Jack, being Jack, wasn't listening, not really anyway. He had rolled his eyes and turned away from me to lean against one of the light panels in the lop-sided cell.
"Ba'al will keep this up."
"Yes, he will." there was that defeated tone again, not his usual self.
"So we don't have an unlimited amount of time."
"Gotta be some place, do ya?" he joked, not knowing how spot on he actually was.
"No." I quickly lied. I wouldn't let on that I would be missing one of the most important moments of my life to be here. Again I prayed Leesia would forgive me. "Look, there must be a reason that Kanan came back here. Was it for the woman? The one you were just talking to? She must have something to do with all of this."
"You know…screw it…it doesn't matter. Carter and Teal'c'll think of something. And you know…Jonas…he's at least as smart as you." I know he was only saying it to try and coerce me into action, but I'll admit it…that hurt.
I tried to not let it show. "There isn't always a way out, Jack."
"Hey, if that was true, I'd have been dead a long time ago!"
"How many more times do you think you can go into that sarcophagus before it starts changing you?"
He just shrugged.
"How many times has it been already? It can regenerate your body, make you strong enough to go through that all over again, but all the time, it's destroying who you are. And once that happens, you won't be able to ascend no matter how much you want to."
"Hey…I appreciate what you're trying to do."
"I wouldn't be here if I didn't believe you could do it."
"This is me we're talking about!"
"Yes, it is. Now, please…just try…to open you're mind."
"Oh…stop it, will you?" he dropped down onto the bench again, clearly frustrated.
"Come on, Jack. Y…You think the Asgard named uh, a ship after you because they thought it was a cool name? Now's not the time to play dumb, you're a lot smarter than that. They saw our potential in you…because of who you are and what you've done. Humanity's potential. That's the same thing Oma saw in me."
"I am not you."
"Yeah, when has that ever stopped you from doing anything?"
"Okay…put yourself in my shoes and me in yours."
I didn't want him to go there, but I answered honestly. "You'd be here for me."
"Damn straight! I'd have busted you out, blown this rat hole to hell and made sure that son-of-a-bitch suffered!"
"The Others would have stopped you." I said trying to convince myself as much as Jack. I couldn't let on to him or to them how close I was to doing exactly what he wanted. I forced myself to remember my promise to Leesia that I wouldn't interfere.
"They'd have a hell of a fight on their hands."
"You wouldn't do that."
"Ba'al would be dead…"
"Jack…" I tried to interrupt, but Jack was passed the point of listening to anything I was saying.
"…And don't think I'd stop there!"
"You're a better man than that."
"THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG!" he screamed in my face.
He glared, as if daring me to argue. Probably expecting me to. Mutely I stared right back. Refusing to back down. I knew Jack well enough to know when arguing would be more damaging to my case. So I bit my tongue…for a few seconds anyway.
I inwardly sighed, 'I promised her.' "Right now, I can't imagine doing or being anything other than what I am. I see things, I understand things, in a way I never could have before. But I chose this. Even when Jacob was trying to heal me, I chose this. But you in the place you're at right now, you don't have any other choices." I had to get him to understand the importance of what I was saying, but Jack was shaking his head, stubbornly. The soft approach wasn't working. I changed my tactic. "This is not your life we're talking about, Jack! This is your soul!…This is it!" I insisted. Jack had to be willing to try. "What I'm offering you is your only way out."
"You're wrong about that too." Jack said quietly. "I have another choice."
I closed my eyes and shock my head, feeling like I was talking to a brick wall, except I'd probably have more luck with the wall. "What are you talking about?"
He just looked at me. It was a pointed look, asking me something neither of us wanted to put into words. I knew what he meant and I didn't like it.
"No." I said shaking my head.
"Any minute, they're gonna come. Ba'al is gonna kill me again. You can make it the last time."
"Don't ask me to do that."
"You can put an end to it."
"I won't do it."
We both looked up to the empty hallway as we heard their approach.
"I'd do it for you, and you know it."
Jack laid down on the floor so he wouldn't fall when it became the wall once again.
"I don't want to see this cell again, Daniel." Jack said firmly.
I made myself invisible to their eyes as the Jaffa grab Jack by the arms and roughly escort him from now righted room. I felt my anger surge within me. It fuelled my power and I glanced down at my hands and saw the energy that was now balling in my palms ready for release. It would be so easy to stop them. One quick bolt would give Jack the chance he so desperately needed. Jack needed me, his life and more importantly his soul depended on it.
"Daniel, you know you cant." Leesia's voice was suddenly behind me. It was every bit as silken as it always was. I found some small comfort in the sound of it.
I had been so preoccupied with my thoughts and anger that I hadn't noticed her steel up behind me. Now I could sense her goodness flowing through me, easing, soothing. Only a small release but a release none the less. It allowed me to gain some small level of control.
"You were listening?" I asked, I could hear the strain in my own voice. It wavered with the effort of holding the energy back.
"Only for the latter part."
"He asked me to help end his life."
"I heard." she said softly. She stepped around me and gazed deep into my eyes. "You must come with me." her tone was urgent and she added in a whisper "now." her eyes where wide while she waited my response. Silently willing me to understand what she wasn't willing to saying aloud.
Minutely I slowly bowed and raised my head once.
We changed to our spectre forms as we travelled away hurriedly from the Goa'uld fortress.
"You need to release some of that energy." I heard her in my head as we soared.
She was right and I knew it. I felt like there was fire burning through my veins. "I really do." I agreed. "Question is where?"
I doubted I would have time to travel to one of the Ancient inhabited planets like Kheb where I could release this energy safely into nature. I couldn't last that long. The strength of the energy was too immense and it was taking all of my will to contain it. When it was discharged it would cause one hell of a storm so I couldn't release it here, it was a populated planet. Innocent people would get hurt.
She must have noticed my discomfort because she suddenly slowed and started descending towards the planets surface. She gave me an encouraging tug and I followed.
As we touched down I retook my corporeal form. The Other may prefer to float around like a glowing tentacled spirit, but I wasn't comfortable that way. Not yet anyway. I preferred to stay in the form that was familiar to me.
"You can share your energies with me." she said stepping towards me. Her image morphing, until she stood before me completely naked.
I have to say I was more than a little stunned. It must have shown. Eyes wide and lips puckered to speak and not being able to get a single syllable, let alone a word out. I must have looked ridiculous.
Her smile, that she tried to hide from me, confirmed my suspicions.
Whether she stripped me or in my semi-aware state I had done it myself I can't be sure, either way I was shocked when she stepped into my embrace and I felt no clothing preventing the contact of our skin.
To say the sparks that shot between us at that moment where intense would be an understatement. Wave upon wave of pleasurable tingles coursed over me, throbbing with life and passion. Flowing from every point of our contact and consuming me. I thought I would burn with the heat of it. I wanted to. Needed to. More than a drowning man needs to breath. It fed me and hungered me at the same time. I wanted to feel it deeper, wanted to drive myself further into the sensation. I tightened my hold on her, heightening the blinding ecstasy that I was gripped within.
Way too soon for my liking she pulled away from me. "We are free to talk now."
I felt like I was going to combust with desire. "That was a rouse?"
"Partly." she said with a mischievous grin. "The Others were watching you. The highest regulator has been informed, but I know how their minds work they would not wish to observe our…private moment."
"Are you sure it worked?" I was desperately trying to get control of myself, it wasn't my energies that needed a release now.
"As certain as I can be. But they will not leave you unobserved for long, which is why you need to stay away from the situation now Daniel."
"I cant leave him like that."
"You must. Your friends back on Earth have formed a plan. Action is being taken as we speak to free Jack, but if you remain it may be suspected that you had a hand in it. You must leave now to avoid suspicion."
"I can't do that." I said with a shake of his head. "I can't leave him to go through that alone."
"He will not be there much longer." she tried.
"And I'll be there until he is safe. I cant leave him a moment before. He deserves that from me."
"You were so close to interfer-"
"I wont!" he cut her off.
For a long second we glared angrily at each other, but eventually her anger turned to fear and I dropped my head, once again not wishing to see that look on her face knowing that I was the cause of it. "I have to go."
"Daniel…It is our wedding day." she pleaded.
"I wish you could understand." I said thumbing a tear from her cheek. "I'm sorry." I said and before she could say anymore I disappeared.
I heard Jack call my name, sounding a little uncertain and very hopeful.
I made myself visible to him. "I'm here."
"You were gone."
"I know, I'm sorry, there was something I had to do, but I'm back now and I promise I'll stay with you 'til this is over."
"It'll never be over."
"Yes, it will."
"Daniel. You have to end this."
"Jack, you just have to hang in there a little while longer."
"No. I can't go back in there. If I go back, I swear to God, I'll give Ba'al what he wants, I'll tell him. Daniel, if you don't end this…I'll tell him." The hopeless to his voice was stronger than ever.
You won't have to. It's almost over, Jack.
He turned to look at me for the first time since I had returned and I saw the hope flash in his eyes. "How?"
"You were right. There's always a way out. Well, at least there's always a chance. Your journey isn't over, Jack, not yet."
The more I told him the more I saw of the Jack I knew returning. The optimism, the curiosity, the inner strength. The fighter!
Before I was even through explaining we heard an explosion from outside, the lights flickered as the ground rumbled.
Jack was already on his feet, looking up and I rose to stand beside him "This is it. All you ever wanted was a fighting chance, Jack, now you have it. If anyone can make it out of here, you can."
…
"I kept myself out of his sight. I hated doing it, but being there when he was escaping would defiantly be interfering."
Leesia gently stroked his thigh as his grip on her hand tightened. She knew that being there for Jack had been an emotional battle for him. Having to fight against everything he was so desperately wanted to do. It was his nature to help in every way he could. Knowing he had to hold back had pained him, deeply. Even reliving it as he told her his tale she had heard the wavering in his voice.
"Yes, it would have." she agreed. "You were so strong."
"I don't know about that."
"I do." she said firmly. "It took remarkable strength of character to be there for him."
Daniel shock his head. "Like he said, he would have been there for me, done the same for me…and more. I felt so selfish."
"Selfish? Why would you feel that way?"
"I watched Jack as he made his way out of the now reoriented cell. He attacked a Jaffa and stole his Zat and he freed the Lo'tar from her cell. It was then that the full immensity of my selfishness hit me. There Jack was in the middle of a battle for his life and he stopped to help this woman who was a complete stranger to him. The Tok'ra he had hosted had loved her, but he had no feelings for her. And there I was able to erase my best, my closest friends suffering…and I sat back and watched as he got tortured to death over and over again."
…
And it was all because of a promise. A promise that I had broken anyway, the moment I hadn't been by her side to begin our marriage. I had been useless to both of them.
Jack was safe, back in the SGC (no thanks to me). I heard Janet telling Sam that he would suffer withdrawal symptoms from the sarcophagus, but other than that she expected him to make a full recovery. He was going to be fine, but I still couldn't bring myself to leave. I realised that again that was selfish. I was staying not for my friend, but because I knew that as soon as I left I would have to face the music.
I had hurt her and I would find out it had cost me everything.
As the other members of SG-1 filed out of the infirmary I steady myself and made myself visible. I owed him a goodbye. "I always seem to be saying goodbye to you."
"Yeah, I noticed that. Why don't you stick around for a while?" Jack said looking up at me.
I managed a smile. If only he knew how much I would have loved to stay. See my friends without having a life hanging in the balance, but as it always had been, time was not on my side. I shouldn't even be here now, Leesia was waiting and she must already be mad, but Jack deserved a goodbye. I owed everything to Jack. Had Jack not granted my dying wish I could not have ascended. Had I not ascended I would not have met and fallen in love with Leesia.
"I can't, really."
"You just did." he argued.
"Special occasion." I said simply. I would not tell Jack that by being here I had missed my own wedding. He didn't need to know that.
"Christmas?" Jack guessed.
"No."
"Groundhog Day?"
"Nooo." I wished it was as simple as that.
"I've got my journey, you've got yours?" Jack asked.
"Something like that, yeah. Look, I know you don't think so…right now, I mean I know you have your doubts, but uh, because you've been through something that no one should have to go through. I guess what I'm trying to say is…you're gonna be all right."
"How do you know?" Jack asked me.
"You're just gonna have to trust me."
"I can do that." he answered very quickly, making me smile. "You gonna be okay?"
"Yeah, I'm gonna be fine." I told him, trying to sound a lot more confident than I felt. 'At least I will be, if she will forgive me.' I hoped, and prayed she would as I left to face the music.
…
I swallowed hard and loud as I saw her.
She looked mouth-wateringly beautiful. The cream dress that she had donned for the occasion, ('that I had now ruined') was skilfully highlighted with an overlay of a white floral design. The thin delicate straps looping over her shoulders revealed her delectable skin to the gentle glow of the setting suns. A wide ribbon circled above the waist, just below her breasts served to flaunt her famine curls to my hungry eyes. A seamless balance of the mischievous seductress and the innocence of the virgin she would technically always be. It was a prefect wedding dress.
As she turned to faced me, her expression was unreadable and my fear exploded in my chest.
"Please just hear me out," I began quickly. "I'm sorry. I had to be there. You see we were a team and part of being in that team meant no one gets left behind. I know that that is not my life anymore, but that doesn't mean that I don't still feel an obligation towards them. All of them. If it had been me in that position they would have done everything in their power to help me. I know I can't interfere, but I had to do what I could. Even if it was only to console him-"
"Or try to help him ascend." she interrupted.
I sighed, my head bowed "I know I have ruined this and I know I have no right to expect it, but can you forgive me. Please. Please, still marry me." I hoped, prayed desperate and terrified while I waited for her answer.
After a few seconds of silence I dared to lift my head and look into her face, not wanting to see that pain and anger that I knew I would see in her usually gentle eyes.
I was surprised to find her smiling, her eyes just as inviting and loving as they always were when she looked upon me.
She quickly closed the gap between us. Taking my face in her hands she brought our lips together.
I was stunned. Shocked beyond all reason. Where was the anger? If I had expecting anything it would be a slap, not a kiss. I knew my eyes must have widened with astonishment. I couldn't even move. I was completely froze as her lips pushed further against mine.
When she released me she giggled at my perplexed expression. 'God, I loved that sound!' It was like music. A melody I had feared I would never hear again.
"I can not give you forgiveness when you have not wronged me. You said you would not interfere and you held true to your word."
That wasn't entirely true. "Actually as it turned out I didn't need to. Their plan worked. He got out."
"I am glad. If Jack had come to harm it would have pained you deeply and I could not of bared to see you hurting. It must have been taxing on you, to watch him go through all of that knowing that you had the power to stop it, but also knowing that The Others would have stopped you if you were to attempt such a thing. They were watching you so closely, Daniel." That mischievous smile that I loved spread across her face. "When ones sight is focused on the stalking lion one does not spy the jackal approach from behind."
Slowly the realisation of what she was saying hit me. "It was you. You told them how to get him out."
She merely looked at me, with a knowing smile.
My astonishment double, tripled. She truly amazed me. She had kept their focus on me, knowing that they would not suspect her to act. "I don't deserve you. I don't know what to say. Thank you doesn't seem enough. I can't believe I ruined this. I'm so sorry."
"You being safe is all the thanks I need and you have ruined nothing."
"But the wedding?"
"The wedding will begin when both parties are ready for it to and not a moment sooner."
"I am ready now." I told her sincerely.
She smiled. "As am I."
We faced each other. Lacing our fingers together, palm to palm and spoke our vows in unison. "Is it my will be by your side as your friend and companion where ever our journey shall take us. To be your sanctuary in times of need and your support in times of difficultly. From me you shall receive no judgement, only support and understanding. Though we will change as surely as the seasons my love for you will remain constant. I chose, of my own free will, to intertwine my mind, body and soul with you and you alone, for as long as life grips me."
After everything that had happened our vows seemed truer than ever.
AN ~ As always, let me know what you think :)