Chapter 13 – Lovesick Puppy

Jacobs POV

She seemed so carefree; if anyone would look at her never would they guess the storms of her past. She put me to shame, here she was, tortured and bruised, and yet she could still smile. And all I was – a lovesick puppy – no pun intended - , and all I had been through with Bella seemed pathetic when compared to her life.

"When did you buy the bike?"

"Huh-" I was caught up in my world; I enjoyed the feel of her body against mine, her hair tickling my arm. "Oh – my friend bought it some time ago, and we just worked on fixing it"

Pause-

"Jacob, you don't have to answer this, but this friend - did they hurt you?"

I stopped, halted. How did she know?

"I – Yes. How did you know?"

Her heart missed a beat, and her cheeks began to redden, while I was still oblivious to how she knew.

"Your eyes" She breathed, her voice was quiet. She kept her eyes focused on the ground, before saying, "Your eyes were so pained and twisted and hurt when you mentioned them"

I held her tighter, and looked her in the eyes.

"I'm not hurt now, look."

"You're not hurting now, but you're hurting; especially when you're a wolf."

She slowly pressed her forehead on my chest, and at that moment I knew she was right. She might not be my imprint, but her body with mine – she knew exactly what was rushing through me. My arms circled around her, knowing that she needed my warmth. We stayed in that position for a while, we were at peace with the silence, and we understood what was unsaid. The unwritten language of those who've suffered pain – you can't express it. I listened to the beating of her heart. I remember how significant it had been the first time I heard it when I was in the forest, and that hadn't changed. Her heart beat was slower than the average human, so I easily picked up on its change. I could hear every dip in the rhythm as I'd meet her gaze, and I knew mine would always do the same. And in one breath I knew that the beat of her heart was the most important sound for me to hear, her tinkling laugh the most ambrosial. I wanted to hold her, tell her it would be ok. I leaned to kiss her forehead, her sigh against my chest sending me into a haze of unconsciousness.

"I'm sorry Jacob – I didn't mean-"

"Why are you apologizing?"

"For a lot of things. For making you feel uncomfortable, for forcing myself into Sam and Emily's House, for saying those things to you back then. For judging you without any basis"

"I hardly gave you a basis for good judgement. But you know what? I owe you one. What you said to me really made me see what I'd taken for granted and who I've hurt on the way."

"I didn't do anything" Her voice was timid and weak, and I hated to think that she thought so little of herself. She'd done so much for me, possible saved me from a life of damned existence pining over Bella Swan.

"Oh- but you did. Can't you see that the things that you said to me, they changed my perspective on things, seeing you made me realise just how stupid I've been. I mean it hurts, it still does. But I still owe you. "

"Jacob, I seriously didn't do anything, but if you want to compete for who owes who. I owe you my life, beat that. If you hadn't saved me that day, I would have stayed living without hope, without people around me, looking for a way to kill myself. Before you and the pack came, I'd lost all my trust in people, afraid that I'd hurt them or that I'd lose them. I'd been left so many times, plagued by the volturi, that I'd become emotionless. I refused to feel anything anymore. It was like, like I was watching myself through a window. And then you guys came, and I was me again. I could laugh and joke around and smile without a second thought. And sometimes when I go to bed, Im scared to close my eyes just in case this is a dream. So Jacob Black, Thank You"

She smiled at me, as her beautiful grey eyes began to water. She looked away as a tear began to drop. My heart was pounding beyond control. She was so fragile, yet so strong. I reached to wipe her tear with the tip of my thumb, my skin aflame at the place I had touched her.

"Sh, don't cry. Please. I have a compromise; we both owe each other, how about that?"

"No, I think you owe me big time! Which is why you should let me ride your bike" She smiled at me, biting her bottom lip, as if wondering if she said something wrong.

"Wait- You can ride right?"

She opened her mouth in mock offense, "Can I? Kind sir, I practically invented the sport."

I walked over to the bike, and got the helmet out, "Well mi'lady, one can never be too sure."

I watched as she swung her legs over the motor bike, running a hand gingerly over its silver handles.

"I haven't been on one for years"

"Years? How long?"

"Since I was 9, my brother used to always sneak me on it, but then the rest would usually find out and practically butcher him, only to find me riding it the next day."

"Was it weird, - you know – living with leeches?"

"It was probably harder for them, but they were family to me. You know? Plus, my blood doesn't smell as bad as humans, appetizing enough to attack me but not as bad. Besides the fact that their natural existence was to kill me, they tried their best to let me live a normal childhood. Except for the whole magic-mythical creature's shizz."

We'd spent a long time talking, after she rode the bike a bit, sitting on the grass.

We'd been silent for a while, watching the sun set,

"My friend – I loved her" she kept her eyes onwards, allowing me to continue, "She was in love with someone – a vampire. But he, he left her. She went into mass depression, wouldn't eat, and couldn't sleep. But in the end, she came to me. And we became friends. We laughed and smiled and ate together, and soon enough my best friend was getting better. And I'd grown to love her; she told me she loved me, but not enough. That bloodsucker was still number one, but I'd promised I'd wait for her. I'm a werewolf, what have I got to lose? But then one day, she jumped off a cliff. I don't know why, I never got round to asking her. I ran in after her, I dropped her at her house, and I went to get her father from our house. But there was this smell in the air, you know? It was too weak to notice what it was. Just as I had entered my house, she called and told me. She told me she was going to get him back. Going to Italy or something. I didn't get a chance to tell her I loved her and it still kills me. I know she would've chosen him anyway. But she's back, and she keeps calling me. And I just want to ignore her, you know? Forget a Bella Swan existed. But I can't, I actually can't. It hurts because one side is telling me to hate her while the other is still holding on to her"

When you look at how glorious this looks; it really puts things into perspective doesn't it?"

I closed my eyes in thought, she stayed silent, I loved how she synchronized with what I felt, never pressing never pulling for an answer, I replied

"It makes you realise how small you are in the mechanics of the world, like suddenly everything that mattered to you is so small compared to everything, yet to you it's bigger than every moon, every sun, and every galaxy"

I opened my eyes to see her nodding in agreement saying,

"When you see that all of this will exist regardless of whether you're here to breathe the air or not; it makes you appreciate it a whole lot more. When I was in Italy, with the volturi, it was like my mind and my soul weren't in the same body, like life had already ended. And then I ran away, and just rushing through my head was how can everything be so normal when my life was practically gone?"

She threw me a weak smile and got up, brushing off the dirt on her. I looked up at her, trying not to focus on her perfectly curved body, and said,

"Home?"

"Home" she agreed, smiling blissfully, "that sounds beyond good. Wait-"

She eyed a deer peering from the edge, she beckoned it forward and it came while glancing at me suspiciously. She bent down to its level, made eye contact and smiled. The deer cocked its head, and she reached to stroke its mane. She nodded for him to move forward and then walked to me, her hair glistening under the sunset. I went on the motorbike, and waited with bated breath for the burning sensation that was sure to come. Sure enough, as she wrapped her hands around my waist, a chill erupted within me

"What was that about?"

"Nothing, he'd never seen someone like me before"

"How do you talk to animals? How does it work?"

Natalia's POV

Okay so how do I word this? I sighed.

"I- it's complicated, I just speak, and I will them to understand, it works on most animals, but it never worked on you, you know when I"

"Said I was utterly ravishing, handsome and beautiful?"

"You wish. Plus I was talking about your wolf, not you"

I felt him slightly shake; a laugh rumbled in his chest as, with a parting of his lips, a deep chuckle escaped, followed by more guffawing. He was shaking with laughter, not a light chortle or snigger but laughter. Laughter that rose from his skewed lips to the tinted red on his russet skin to engulf his dark eyes.

"Oi. I'll have you know Many Girls are absolutely crazed over my physique"

"Nope, not me!"

"Yes, you are. You'll admit it in the end"

I sighed theatrically, "I doubt it highly, Just Take Me Home Jacob Black!"

So thats how it goes, for all those pm-ing me about the Cullens, Just waiiit and see ;)...

I finished school like a week ago now, so Im freeeeee :) until i start my volunteering .. but until then, I'll try, and i do try these days anyway, to update asap.

Disclaimer : All recognizable characters , story lines etc... belong to their rightful owners, and I do not take credit for them whatsoever. Yup! You heard me. I do NOT... nope. never. Nu-uh! Nay!