Disclaimer: I still don't own Supernatural or its characters. I and am not making any money on this…I'm just having fun!

Shattered

Chapter 13– Oprah Vs. Springer

Dean stormed around the kitchen, slamming the pot he just cleaned onto the stove. "Damn you Sammy…why do you have to be so stubborn!' Dean mumbled as he continued to scrub the counter. Dean had spent over an hour trying to get Sam to open up to him. But Sam just kept apologizing. In the end, Dean had realized that Sam really was tired and needed to get some sleep. He had given Sam his pills and helped him into bed. That had been 3 hours ago and Dean was still steamed. He needed to smash something and he knew just who he wanted to take his anger out on.

Dean reached for his phone and dialed Ellen's number. "Hi Ellen"

"Dean, is Sam ok?" Ellen asked quickly

"Yeah, I guess so…look, can you put the word out…I want to know where Gordon is."

"Dean, I told you to stay away from the man…he's dangerous."

"Well, I'd like to accommodate you Ellen, but the bastard is calling Sam. He's threatening him and I don't want to wait around until he finds us." Dean figured it was better to be the hunter than to be the hunted.

"I'll get Ash working on it Dean…you sure you don't want some help?"

"No thanks Ellen…just information. I can't leave Sam alone, so I'm kind of stuck. Let me know if he finds anything ok?"

Dean hung up the phone and decided that he needed to take some other precautions as well. He stopped to check on Sam. His brother was moaning softly. Dean moved closer and placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. "It's ok Sam. I know I've let you down and I'm sorry you don't think you can trust me. But I'm going to make this right."

Dean watched as his brother's breathing evened out and he returned to a peaceful sleep. Dean couldn't help but wonder what Sam was dreaming about. Sam had been opening up to him before his father's death. He'd been letting Dean in and allowing Dean to help him. But now, it was almost as if the last year hadn't happened. They were becoming strangers again.

"Sweet Dreams Sammy" Dean said softly. He headed out to the Impala to get what he needed. He paused to look at the lake and let the peace of the setting seep into him. He usually wasn't one to enjoy mother nature. But right now, he needed to find a way to calm the rage that was always just below the surface. As he sat on the trunk of the Impala, he felt some of the tension leave him. It no longer mattered why he was here…he knew that he couldn't change it; his guilt was taking away his edge and worse, was driving a wedge between him and Sam.

The truth was Dean was here and Sam still needed him, more now than he realized. His father's whispered words came back making Dean sigh. Some day he would tell Sam, but right now his brother would never understand. Especially since he was half convinced that the idiot Gordon might be right. Dean stood and opened the trunk. He grabbed his favorite gun, and a couple of shotguns. At least this time, they could use regular bullets. Dean sighed, he really didn't want to think about killing a man…but if he had to choose between Gordon and Sam, he would do what he had to do.

Sam slowly opened his eyes, trying to bring the room into focus. He hated feeling so weak. He sighed as he remembered Dean trying to convince him that he was worth saving. It was funny, Dean was feeling guilty because he didn't feel that his life was worthy of saving and Sam wasn't sure that he wanted to face his future…what if Gordon was right? What if after everything that they had been through, the demon was able to turn Sam?"

He wanted to believe that he would be different, but Max still haunted him and the demon's words in the cabin confirmed that he and the children like him had some role to play in the war to come. Sam struggled to his feet and headed for the livingroom. Suddenly, he didn't want to be alone with his thoughts. He needed to get away from them for a while…he needed Dean.

Dean looked up as his brother entered the room. "So, how are you feeling Sam?"

"I'm getting better Dean…I just wish these drugs didn't make me feel so disconnected. What are you doing?" Sam saw that Dean had the Key of Solomon out and was actually looking through it.

"Well I thought since we had some down time, I'd try to brush up on ways to repel or stop demons. What?" Dean asked at the look on Sam's face.

"Dean, what was the last book you read?"

Dean paused and shrugged. "You know Sam, with our life style, reading usually isn't top on the list of things that I need to do. Besides, Father Jim made sure that I knew my latin just like you."

"Yes Dean, but as I recall, you hated it…you wanted to be out practicing your hunting skills with Dad." Sam shut his mouth as he saw the look of pain that crossed Dean's face. "I'm sorry Dean" Sam began to walk away.

"Sam stop…look, you can talk about Dad ok. He is…was a big part of our lives. It's just going to take me some time to adjust." Dean swallowed, he knew that if he wanted Sam to begin sharing his feelings, he had to take the first step. "I just keep expecting him to come through the door…I still dial his cell phone number, just so I can hear his voice…how sick is that." Dean looked at the floor.

"Dean, you're grieving. I understand, believe me. It's been over a year since Jess died and yet some days it feels like yesterday. I miss him too Dean, and I'm sorry that he died thinking that I hated him…that I had failed him." Sam paused, not sure how much to share with Dean.

Dean looked up and sighed. "What a pair we make Sam. Oprah would have a field day."

Sam smiled. "Actually, with the type of relationship I had with Dad, I always thought that we would be a better fit for Jerry Springer."

"Dude you actually watch that crap?" Dean smirked, glad to see his brother was a little more animated.

"Well if you can watch Oprah…" Sam ducked as a pillow came flying at him. He grabbed his side and groaned as the sudden movement reminded him that his side was far from healed.

"Hey no fair picking on the wounded man Dude!" Sam gasped as he straightened up slowly.

"Well you said you were feeling better Sam…so technically, you're fair game!" Dean heard Sam's phone ring. He looked at Sam and nodded as Sam reached into his pocket and answered the phone. Sam pressed speaker phone so that Dean could hear what was being said.

"So Sam, how's that side of yours? The Doctor told me you would be a little under the weather for a while. Seems like your uncle Gordon might have to come and help you out. There's nothing better than a hunt Sam. It's too bad you never really understood the rush. But your brother does. Once you're gone, he'll become the hunter he was meant to be. Are you ready to run Sammy?"

Dean grabbed the phone from Sam's hand as he saw his brother's face go pale. "You listen to me you bastard. If you so much as breathe the same air as my brother, I'll kill you."

"Now Dean, I thought you and I had an understanding. You couldn't talk to Sam about the way you felt, said you had to keep your game face on. I know about that dark part of you, even if you aren't ready to accept it. You will embrace it some day and then you'll thank me. You are a good hunter now Dean, but you could be one of the best if you would just loose the excess baggage."

"Gordon…" Dean growled as he heard the click on the other end of the line. He looked at Sam and saw the hurt expression on his face.

"I think I'm going to go in and take a nap Dean…I…I'm feeling a little tired." Sam turned and headed towards the bedroom. Dean grabbed Sam's good arm and turned his brother towards him.

"Sam, look…I was messed up when we met Gordon. I know that now. I don't know why I couldn't talk to you…but I'm trying now."

"Did you tell him what Dad said to you before he died Dean? Did you tell him how your Dad made you promise to look after your little brother? You said I could learn something from Gordon Dean and you're right. I did learn…I learned that it doesn't matter what you think, in our world I'll be viewed as a freak…something to be hunted and killed because there are no shades of grey in our world Dean."

"Sammy, you were the one who made me see…not everything Supernatural is evil. If you can believe that two vampires can change their nature, can fight what they were meant to be. Why can't you believe that you have the same choice?"

Sam shook his head. "You still didn't answer me Dean…I know that Dad talked to you before he died…He told you how disappointed he was in me didn't he. That's why he ordered you to protect me. He knew that I would never be the hunter that you are. You could have told me Dean, I already knew that Dad felt I failed him…he told me as much while you were in the coma…he regretted bringing me on the hunt Dean because he knew that I would be too weak to do what had to be done…and you know what Dean he was right." Sam couldn't stop the tears that began to fall from his eyes.

"Sammy, Dad was proud of you…he always told me that you were stronger than you knew. But he also knew that neither one of us can do this alone. Damn it Sammy, where are you going?"

"Dean, I'm just going to sit outside on the porch for a little while. I hear you Dean, but I also know that you aren't being entirely honest with me…you're still trying to protect me. I understand and when you're ready, you'll tell me. But you'll excuse me if I have trouble believing that Dad had any confidence in me at all. How could he when I don't have confidence in myself?" Sam walked slowly out the door and Dean let him go. His heart breaking for the brother who would never know how much his father loved him.

"Damn you Dad, why couldn't you have told him just once. Why couldn't you tell him you were proud of him like you did to me before you died and why did you make me keep your secret from him. He has a right to know Dad…I just hope he'll forgive me when the time comes to tell him."

TBC

Raven524: Ok, so this is the chick flick chapter that has been brewing…while they didn't resolve everything…at least they are talking. (well kind of any way – LOL). Let's just hope they can get it together before Gordon makes the scene! Don't forget to let me know what you think! I do love getting reviews!