Hello again! Now I know what you're thinking, you're freaking out because the chapter came early in the month so you'll have to wait a long time until the next one. Well fear not! I have decided that, out of the goodness of my heart, that I would write two chapters this month! Why? Because I want to pick up the pace of this story and wrap it up soon! Not too soon, we still have at least 3 or 4 chapters left so don't worry about that!

There is a Durarara Petition to get a second season of Durarara! I made a video (while dressed as Kururi) instructing you on what to do to sign the petition! Go here: bit. ly/iQkGqQ

Izaya: Cookie doesn't own Durarara or its characters.

Me: I've been in the yaoi/mpreg business for too long. I was watching an episode of that new show "Suits" the other day and had a serious Erika moment. Help me.

Unusual Absence

"What do you mean you 'have to miss work for the next week'?"

The frustrated voice on the other line made Shizuo sigh, "Tom, I'm really sorry. I wouldn't do this if I had another choice."

"I'm not mad at you, Shizuo. It's just that… why do you need such a long time off?"

"I can't… really tell you." The man tried to choose his words carefully, "It's… I have some family matters that are more of a priority now."

There was a pause on the other end of the line, "Fine. I just wanted to make sure it had nothing to do with Izaya."

Shizuo took a peek at the slumbering Izaya while his boss was talking. He felt bad having to be so vague with his good friend, but he really had no other options.

"Don't worry, Tom. I promise you won't see Izaya and I fighting any time soon."

"Glad to hear it. Take care, Shizuo."

"Yeah, bye." The blond muttered before flipping the phone shut.

As much as Shizuo didn't want to admit it, he'd probably need more than a week. But he didn't want Tom to really start asking questions. He glanced at the clock that seemed to tick by so loudly, "This day has been filled with more drama than I can handle and it's still not over yet."

He noticed a slip of paper with Shinra's scribbled handwriting on it. Picking it up, Shizuo saw it had all of the child's information on it. The only thing that was missing was the middle name. He thought for a minute, grabbed a nearby pen, and then filled in the blank. He smiled faintly as he read it.

Child's Name: Heiwajima Matteiru Kasuka
Mother: Orihara Izaya
Father: Heiwajima Shizuo
Date of Birth: 3/8/2010
Time of Birth: 14:31
Place of Birth: Ikebukuro (district), Toshima (ward), Tokyo (city), Kanto (region), Japan

"Shizuo." Shinra's voice broke the strong man from his thoughts.

He set the paper down and turned to the doctor, who then motioned towards him, "Come with me."

Shinra led his childhood friend into the next room and brought him up to the small being that was lying in an incubator.

"Izaya had told me that Matteiru was his name, yes?" Shizuo nodded in response and Shinra continued, "Well since he was born so early, his skin is very shallow and can't capture heat very well. So his first few days will be spent in this incubator, which will keep him at the required temperature. His lungs are not fully functioning yet either so we have him connected to a ventilator that will help him with his breathing. There have been some signs of apnea, which is when an infant stops breathing, but it's very common in premature births." The scientist tangled a hand in his brunet hair, "It's really a lot better for him to be out. Now he can get caught up on all the nutrients Izaya wasn't able to provide for him. But those IVs will be gone after tomorrow."

Feeling his head practically explode from all the medical terms and information, Shizuo had only one question, "Can I touch him?"

A warm, yet still goofy, smile spread across Shinra's face, "You can do more than that: you can hold him."

"I… I've never really had a good experience with holding newborns." The bodyguard said with a flush expression, "When I was little, my mother let me hold Kasuka and I almost dropped him. She never let me forget it either."

When Izaya woke up the next morning, he instantly felt a fiery pain in his abdomen. Needless to say, he was a bit taken aback when he saw the inseam where he had been cut open.

"Oh, you're awake." Shizuo said, in the midst of chewing something.

Izaya couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, "What are you eating?"

As a response, he stuck his tongue out to show a piece of gum, "Nicotine gum. You should thank me."

"Why?"

"Because you sure as hell aren't worth me not being able to smoke a damn cigarette." The blond mumbled, looking in another direction, "The kid's staying in the next room, by the way. He's in some sort of incubator thing and is hooked up to a bunch of machines—kinda like you."

Scowling at the obviousness of the older man's statement, Izaya made a move to get up, "Well I guess I should be going." He face then contorted in pain.

Shizuo nearly jumped up at the informant's careless actions, and forced him back down onto the bed, "You jackass! What are you trying to do? Rip yourself wide open?"

The brunet struggled against the hands restraining him, "Let me go! I have to get back to work!"

"Work? Like hell you're going back to those Yakuza assholes right now! You won't be working for quite a while." Shizuo retorted, trying to reason with the smaller man.

Accepting bitter defeat for the moment, Izaya sat back with a pout, "I'm surprised the world hasn't ended yet from stupidity. Japan needs me for information! Who else is willing to cut throats to get what they need?"

"That's enough, Izaya! Shinra said you can't leave this building until you have fully recovered, which will take around a week." He glared at Izaya for a long time, who stared daggers back at him, leaving a hostile air about the room.

Once the prolonging silence became too much to handle, Izaya spoke, "As fun as it is to glare at you, looks can't kill so you aren't about to drop dead any time soon. Therefore, I see no point in it."

At that moment, Shinra interrupted the bickering couple and strolled in with the incubator and ventilator in tow, "Izaya, I think it's about time you were introduced to your son."

"Is it okay for the kid to be out of the incubator?" Shizuo asked, a little weary of the whole situation.

"For short periods of time, yes." Shinra said, nodding, "I also turned up the heat in the building, so it should be fine."

He opened up the clear casing and, making sure to be careful of all the connecting wires, slipped the infant delicately into Izaya's hold.

Upon receiving the little bundle wrapped in blankets, Izaya's previously harsh expression softened immensely.

It's a tiny version of a human. Izaya thought with a bit of humor, But… it's my human.

Dark eyes opened slightly and gazed up at the larger being. A scrawny little arm reached out and miniscule fingers latched themselves onto the fabric of Izaya's hospital shirt. As soon as Izaya blinked, he realized what a giant mistake it was as he felt a tear roll down his cheek. Sure he loved humans, every single one of them. But never before did he have a human that he could claim as his own.

"Izaya, are you okay?" Shizuo said a bit hesitantly, seeing the informant in such a silent, emotional state.

Shinra tapped the brunet on the shoulder, breaking him from his reverie, "You feel up to feeding him?"

All feelings of compassion gone, Izaya cocked an eyebrow at the statement, "Do I have anything to give?"

A snicker emitted from the other man in the room, desperately trying to contain the urge to laugh.

"Well, the male ovulation serum didn't give you the proper hormones that would trigger lactation. But after the procedure yesterday, I hooked you up to an IV that would administer oestrogen that would help you start lactating."

"Okay, that's just a little gross." The brunet said in slight humiliation.

It was then that he took notice of Shizuo, who was on the verge of busting out in laughter, "Oh, so you think this is funny? This isn't any different from when you sucked on them when we had sex, so you can stay over there and shut your damn mouth."

The blond's eyes widened in shock, while Shinra felt a bit like throwing up from hearing way more than he needed to.

"You remember now?" Shizuo managed to get out, having become speechless otherwise.

The smaller man shrugged slightly, "Only bits and pieces, but I know enough to blackmail you if there is ever a need to."

"Can you two talk about this another time?" Shinra said with an exasperated, sickly look on his face, "Izaya, just let the child feed for a little bit so that he can go back into the incubator. And Shizuo, keep quiet or I can get Celty to show you out."

Shizuo raised his hands in defeat as he continued smacking his gum, "Alright, alright, no need to go parental on us."

As Izaya was about to put his hand on the back of the infant's head, he noticed a little bit of brown fuzz on the top, "Shinra, will his hair color change at all?"

"Naturally? No it shouldn't, at least not until he grows older and it may get a little lighter or darker depending on how much time he spends outside. Why do you ask?"

"He's starting to get some brown hair. But it's not almost black like my hair. How could he have inherited…?" Izaya stopped and thought for a moment, then turned slowly to the man who had been surprisingly quiet, "Shizu-chan, what color was your hair before you bleached it?"

Knowing he was caught, Shizuo buried his face in his arms and mumbled something incoherent. Shinra decided at that moment to cut in, "His original hair color was brown, kind of a mocha color. Chances are, your son inherited that trait from him."

"Well this sucks." Izaya mumbled as he stroked his son's head.

Shizuo then lifted his head up, "What do you mean?"

"How am I supposed to teach him how to be sexy and unbelievably attractive like me when he has a mop like Shizu-chan?"

So I hope you all enjoyed it! I feel like I'm dragging this story through the mud right now and am getting absolutely nowhere. So hopefully the other chapter that I will write this month will have a bit of progress in it, ne? Oh, and I wrote all of this in one day. I'm so proud of myself, I'm not even kidding. But right now I'm starving so I'm going to go eat something!

See you guys next time! I love you!

Note: The date and time of Matteiru's birth were chosen completely at random. I literally googled "Random Date and Time Generator" and used that to determine it. The only criteria I supplied was that it was in 2010 and it was in the afternoon.

Also, somebody finally caught the reference so I'll say it. The chapter that has Izaya's nightmare, was inspired partially by a small bit in Katy Perry's "Firework" music video. It's within the first minute of the video.