hey guys! sorry for being a slacker...but i've been having a really tough time these past few months and my computer died so i just got him back (yes, i named my computer Steve). so, here's the next chapter...i promise from now on i will try to update at least once a week, maybe more, and have more action. the next chapter is when everything starts to come together...so just be patient....

isabellthelooser

The Calm Before The Storm

~Isabella Swan~

Two months. Two whole, painful, strange, wondrous months spent healing. Now I'm finally free.

Paul held me close to him as we made our way out of the hospital after having my casts removed. Though I could easily walk, he insisted on helping me, and even opening my car door for me.

"So," he said when we're both settled in his car, "What would you like to do today?"

I smiled and shrugged, "Anything. As long as I'm with you and it involves either walking or using some amount of energy."

He laughed and started the car. "Alright, I think I have an idea." He pulled slowly out of the hospital parking lot and onto main street, then he took my hand.

We didn't really talk much as we drive, and neither of us seemed to mind. Electricity was surging through the place where his hand touched mine. Every so often he raised his hand and brushed my cheek, or my neck, or stroked his fingers down my arm, and every time he left a burning, tingling trail across my skin.

Watching him; smiling, laughing, it was hard to believe I ever didn't like him. It was hard to believe that I ever lived without him, that I ever felt alone. It's strange how, when you least expect it, this feeling washes over you. So soft at first, that you don't even notice it, and then it grows; always delicate and soft, but there, burning brighter and brighter.

I cannot remember a time when I didn't love Paul Freeman, nor a time when I didn't crave his company. When I'm away from him it's like I'm freezing, and when I'm with him I can finally get warm. I'm home.

It's amazing how strange and wonderful love is, especially when you experience it for yourself.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I don't know," I mumbled into his chest. "Nothing really, just enjoying life's simple pleasures."

He looked down at me, his hair slicked back by the wind. "What kind of simple pleasures?"

I cuddled closer to him and he wrapped his arms around me. "Like being with you, and being in such a wonderful, beautiful place, and…being with you."

He laughed, "You said that already."

"That's because it's true, and because it's the greatest one."

He was silent for a moment, gazing out at the rolling waves of Push Beach. This was his idea: to spend the day at the beach.

"Is that really true?" he asked. "Do you really enjoy being with me?"

I looked up at him, but he was looking away. "Yes."

Finally he looked at me, "Do you…do you…like me, Bella?"

"Yes," I answered. I sat up from laying on his chest, and saw the fear in his eyes.

"Do you…really like me? I mean…would you like me if I were different…or strange?"

"Of course, after what you've done for me…" I shook my head, "Paul, what is it? You can tell me."

He looked away again, to the crashing waves, and sighed. "I…I…I want to be honest with you, Bella…"

"What is it?"

"What if I was…I'm…" another sigh. "I'm a--"

"Hey guys!"

I turned toward the voice, and instantly recognized the bobbing black hair. "Oh, hi Jacob!" I waved him over. "How are you? I haven't seen you in a while."

"I'm good, and I can see you guys are doing better." He flopped down beside me and nodded at our close proximity. "And the cast is off." He smiled, "How's it feel to be free, Bells?"

I laughed and rolled on my side to face him, "Pretty nice, though Paul won't let me do anything for myself." I rolled my eyes, but smiled back at him to show that I was joking around. He wasn't looking. I turned back to Jacob. "So how's Billy and everyone? Everything going okay?"

"Yeah," he shrugged, "Nothing new. School's out finally. Freedom!"

I nodded, "Paul told me."

"Oh, yeah, right." His eyes lit up with mischief, "How's that going?"

"How's what going?"

"You know…the whole, luvy-duvy stuff. You guys being safe and using protection and stuff?"

I felt my face flush and slapped him with my free hand, the other was holding Paul's. "Jacob!"

He jumped, "What?! I was just curious!"

"Ugh!" I exclaimed, "You are so immature."

"At least I admit it. And anyways, don't let immaturity get the better of you. It leads to STDs, and pregnancy and bankruptcy!" He wagged his finger at me, making me laugh.

"You're so funny, Jake."

"What can I say," he muttered sarcastically, "I'm a joke cracking genius!"

Paul interrupted my laughter. "Hey, Bella, I'm gonna head home, alright." He started to get up.

"What? But we just got here!"

He smiled and brushed a stray hair behind my ear. "I know, but I'm starting to feel sick, and I can tell you guys want to catch up. Jacob can take you home."

"Are you alright?" I asked, "Do you want me to drive you home, or something?" I sat up straighter, appraising him. He did look a little pale.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I'm fine. I'm sure it's just the sea air or something. I'll be fine once I get some sleep." He jumped to his feet, "Listen, I'll see you tomorrow, and I promise that I'll let you walk by yourself, okay?"

"Okay!" I agreed.

"Alright, see you tomorrow. Jake, I'll see you later tonight." He gave Jacob a knowing look and jogged up the beach in the direction of his car.

I watched him go until he was out of sight, then turned back to Jacob. "Okay, that was weird. Paul's never sick."

Jacob shrugged, "He's probably fine. Probably just needed some time alone, you know."

"Yeah, I guess. But he was gonna tell me something…hmm…" I gazed off in the direction in which he'd fled. "Something about being truthful."

I felt Jacob's gaze on my face, "Maybe he was jealous."

"Jealous? Paul? No."

"Come on, Bella," he persisted, "You're a very attractive girl. Any guy would thank his lucky stars to talk to you. Now Mr. Paul here has gotten himself front row seats, and doesn't like it when he has to fight for that position."

"Fight?"

Suddenly Jacob's face looked a little redder than it had before. "I like you too, Bella. A lot, actually."

"Is that why you stayed with me, Jake, in the hospital?"

He nodded, "Before you got in the…accident, I liked you. I still like you."

"Hang on, if you liked me so much, then…was I your girlfriend?"

Anger flared in his eyes, "No."

I cocked my head, "Why not? Did I have a grudge against you or something?"

He shook his head, "No…you were…well…" he glanced up at me, and the anger was replaced by guilt. "Well…I was too much of a coward to let you know, and well…now I've overcome it…"

I smiled, "Well that's one good thing that came out of this whole memory loss thing…you overcame your cowardice!"

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "Yeah…"

It was late when Jacob finally drove me home, and Charlie was pacing in the kitchen waiting for me. I could tell he was about to demand to know where I'd been, and then Jacob walked in behind me and his mouth clamped shut.

"Hi, Jake! How are you both?"

"We're good, thanks. I just came by to drop Bella off; we were on the beach."

"Oh, you two have fun?"

"Yep," I answered.

"So, you guys hungry? I saved some lasagna."

Jacob shook his head, "No, I told Billy I'd be home for dinner. See you later though."

"Alright, bye Jacob, and tell Billy 'hi', too."

"Will do," he smiled, "Bye Bells."

"Bye Jake."

Charlie waited until the door closed behind him before asking where Paul was. I told him that he'd taken off after the hospital, and that I'd spent the day with Jacob, which was mostly true, and that I was really tired and wasn't hungry, which was also true.

Paul was already in my room by the time I got there.

"Hey," he whispered, crossing the room and wrapping his arms around me. "Sorry I skipped out on you this afternoon, but I think the sleep got rid of whatever I was catching."

I smiled and buried my face in his jacket. He was the only one of the La Push boys that I knew of that ever wore a jacket. It smelled like the beach. "I'm glad you're feeling better." I whispered, "I was starting to worry."

He chuckled into my hair, "No need. Now it's you I'm worried about."

"What do you mean?"

He bent his face to my level and looked into my eyes. "You told Charlie you were tired, you should get some sleep."

I sighed; sleep was so boring. "I'm fine really."

He shook his head at me. "You're fine? You mean these dark bags under your eyes are just for decoration?" He rolled his eyes jokingly. "Come on, Bella. We can spend all day together tomorrow, but I won't take you if you're tired."

I could tell he was serious, so I let him lead me to the bed. "Fine. But at least tell me this: where are we going tomorrow."

He smiled, "Not a chance. It's a secret place of mine, and I go there a lot."

"What's it like?" I asked him, climbing under the covers.

"It's beautiful," he whispered, tucking me in. "Almost as beautiful as you."

I struggled to hold back a blush, "It can't be as amazing as you say it is then."

He sighed, "If only you could see yourself…how amazing you are…" he shook his head. "You're so incredible, Bella."

"I know," I muttered sarcastically, "I'm an amazingly incredible disaster waiting to happen!"

He laughed along with me, and then we both sat in silence for a while.

"Are you asleep?" he asked suddenly.

I sighed and curled my toes, rubbing my hands down my thighs to warm them. "No. It's too cold."

I felt his hand on my forehead, "You are a little cold…"

I leaned my head into his hand, sighing as the warmth flooded through me. "Why are you always so warm?" I asked him, "Like a heater."

He laughed, "Why are you always so cold?"

I shivered, "I don't know…maybe that's why we're together, like there's some magnetic power between us…"

"I don't know about any magnetic powers," he said, "But I can't let you freeze to death. Move over."

My whole body turned rigid, "What?"

He sighed and shoved me gently aside, "Come on, Bella. Make some room." He crammed himself onto the bed next to me and pulled the blanket around both of us. He wrapped his arms around me, and then I couldn't make myself pull away.

"Ahh…" I sighed, curling closer to him. "That feels nice." But it was also conjuring a memory: a flood of senses telling me that I had done something similar before.

A tent, shaking, quivering in the wind. Cold, freezing. A soft, methodical voice whispering to me as I shake and quiver with the tent, wrapped in a sleeping bag. Then a flood of warmth as a too large body is crammed into the sleeping bag with me. Warm arms encircling me, a soft voice telling me to sleep.

"Are you feeling better?"

I curl even closer, begging for warmth. "Yes, thank you."

"Are you ready to sleep? Or do you want to talk?"

I sighed, "I'm tired…"

"Sleep then. Do you want me to leave?"

"No." Am I too quick in answering?

He laughs and strokes my hair. "Sleep now, Bella," is the last thing I hear.

the plot thickens...what will happen tomorrow? dun dun dun!!!

until next time -- Isabell the Looser --