Chapter 13: Who He Was Before

"Roxanne! Roxanne!"

"There she is." Draco could see Hermione's head of curls over the crowd.

"I can't see!" Roxanne whined, going on tiptoes. She gripped Draco's shoulder, trying to jump. "I hate being so short!"

Draco rolled his eyes as he looked down at her. He suddenly bent and picked her up around the knees, hoisting her up onto his shoulder. She yelped and grabbed his other should to keep from toppling over. Now she could easily see over the sea of heads at the Hogsmeade train station.

"Hermione!" Roxanne shouted, waving one hand.

Hermione waved back before dragging Ginny through the crowd to them. Draco let Roxanne slide back to the ground, steadying her when her feet slid on the icy stones beneath them. Roxanne smiled at him in thanks before hugging Hermione and Ginny fiercely.

"I missed you! How was your holiday?" She asked excitedly.

Hermione opened her mouth but Ginny interrupted her. She was grinning ear to ear and she waved her hand in front of Roxanne.

"Sainte mere de Merlin." "Holy mother of Merlin." Roxanne breathed. "It's absolument magnifique!" "It's absolutely beautiful." She stared at the diamond ring in wonder. "Congratulations!" She hugged Ginny again.

Draco rolled his eyes and Hermione stood besides him. "Do all girls act like this?"

"No." She said, a bit sadly. "Only those in love."

Draco looked at her in surprise, but Hermione paid him no attention. Roxanne threaded an arm through hers and hauled her off. Draco was left alone for a moment, but then Luna appeared by his side.

"How was your Christmas, Draco?"

"Better than usual. What about you, Luna?"

The blonde girl shrugged. "It was as expected. Between Ginny, and Fleur, and Hermione, I fear I will go deaf from the shrill screams."

Draco smiled at her. "Hermione said something… about girls in love."

"Hmm? Yes, I heard that. She's right, you know." She looped her arm through his. "Come on then, the feast is calling me. I hope there's pudding."

The next day, Hermione and Roxanne sat beside the dark lake. They sat in a patch of magically grown grass. Hermione had a book opened in her lap while Roxanne trailed her fingers through the icy water.

"You knew Draco before the War, did you not?" Roxanne asked.

Hermione looked up. "Yes. We were far from friends, but I knew him."

"What was he like?"

Hermione chewed her bottom lip as she closed the book. "Until sixth year, he was an arrogant, spoiled, self-absorbed prat."

"What happened sixth year? He changed?"

"Yes." Hermione hesitated. "Voldemort ordered him to kill Dumbledore. For some reason, it changed him."

Roxanne sat up and looked at the other girl soberly. "Reality came crashing down on him? Wouldn't an order like that force him to… how do I say this? It would force him to make a quite difficult choice, no?"

"I suppose. From what I know, his family began to fall apart about then as well. The pressure made him crack. He seemed to lose his strong exterior shell. He became a normal teenager under the stress."

"Did he kill him? Dumbledore?" Roxanne asked, although she knew the answer.

Hermione shook her head. "No. Severus Snape, our potions teacher, did. Harry was there when it happened. Malfoy couldn't do it. He hesitated."

"He said once that he never wanted to become a Death Eater, that he did it for his family."

"I don't doubt that." Hermione sighed. "He was an awful person when we were younger. He hated Harry, made my life hell, and constantly bothered Ron."

"Why did he hate Harry? I know he hated you because of your blood, and Ron because he was a pureblood who didn't seem to care about blood at all, but why Harry?"

"I'm not sure." Hermione thought for a moment. "I have no idea, actually. I don't even think Harry knows why they hate each other."

"Perhaps he was jealous."

"Jealous? Malfoy jealous of Harry?" Hermione was dumbstruck. "Why on earth-?"

Roxanne interrupted. "Think about it. Draco had an awful childhood, between his father's disappointment and his own desperate attempts to please him. Yes, he was rich when Harry was not. Draco was given a bad reputation before he could even deserve one because of his father, while Harry was deemed a hero, a miracle, the boy-who-lived. Draco had everything material he could ever want, but Harry comes along and steals the spotlight. Draco was forced to choose between what was right and his family when Harry had no family to be used against him. Harry knew his choice from the beginning and he had support the entire time. Draco didn't have anybody."

Hermione was silent, a crease forming between her brows. Roxanne fell silent and tucked her chin onto her knees.

"You're more perceptive than you look." Hermione finally said.

Roxanne smiled. "And I take great pride in that trait. Luna seems to be a bit more perceptive than me though."

Hermione smiled and opened her book again.

"Did he have any friends?"

"No. He had followers, cronies, worshippers, girls chasing him, classmates, but he never had a single friend. Until you came along." Hermione didn't look up from her book.

Roxanne blushed and looked down at her hands, twisting the Garniar ring around her finger.

"He's lucky. For once in his life, the guy's lucky because he has you." Hermione still didn't look up from her book.

"Do you mind if I-?" Roxanne began.

Hermione smiled. "Go ahead. I'll see you at dinner."

Roxanne leapt to her feet. She was rushing back up towards the castle, grim determination in her mind. She ran through the halls, ignoring the looks everyone gave her. She found him in his favorite spot, the tiny alcove on the fifth floor.

She launched herself at him before he even saw her in front of him. She hugged him tightly around the neck.

"Roxanne? What the hell are you doing?" He cried. He hadn't expected her tiny form to crash into him.

"I'm so sorry!"

Without hesitating, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into his lap. "Why? You didn't do anything wrong!"

She pulled back. Her eyes were bright and her mouth trembled slightly. "You went through all of school without a friend. With no one there to help you! It must have been so terrible!"

Draco stiffened slightly. "Who told you had no friends? That's ridiculous! Of course I had -."

The look on her face made him stop. "Hermione told me. And Voldemort forced you to try to kill Dumbledore. Everyone hated you."

He flinched at Voldemort's name. "Everybody hates me now as well. I've gotten used to it."

She stroked his cheek and smiled sadly. "I do not hate you. I will never hate you. Hermione doesn't hate you. Luna doesn't-."

"Yes, they do. They tolerate me because of you but they don't like me." His eyes were hard. "You would hate me if you knew what I've done."

She shook her head. "No. I will never hate you. You are my friend and I don't turn on my friends."

"Roxanne, you don't know what I was forced to do, who I killed."

"That is the key word, forced. You did not choose to torture people or kill them. You were forced to do it. If you hadn't you and your family would have been punished."

Draco sighed. His shoulders slumped. "You don't have to apologize. There's nothing you could have done. You weren't here."

Roxanne hugged him. He rested his forehead on her shoulder and held her thin body against him. "But I am here now and I always will be." She said softly. "I promise."

"Why?" His voice was muffled against her shoulder.

"You are most dear to me. I've lost my parents and all my friends at home, but I found you. And I love you more than anything. You're most important."

He didn't say anything. He couldn't find the words. He just held her.

Roxanne smiled against his shoulder. She trusted Draco with her life and it seemed that She had finally gotten through to him. She would never betray his trust.

Ever.