CHAPTER 12
COSEQUENCES
? POV
I can't believe I allowed myself to get so caught up in my emotions that I barely made it out of there in human form.
Surely if Bella didn't hate me before she would hate me now. What about Ephraim? Would she even allow me around him anymore. That thought alone made my heart break all over again.
She wouldn't do that would she? Then again it was hard to tell what she would do anymore. She has changed so much and I couldn't even see it.
Although it was 1:30 am, it didn't seem so late. The sky seemed to be getting darker and darker by the minute.
I tried to think about anything other then what just happened. Like for instance just how cold it would be out here if I was not a werewolve. My breath was coming out in little white puffs that I could see for a few minutes before it descended into the cold nothingness. That is when the rain began. Luckily I couldn't get cold.
Still, the rain was hitting me hard from every direction; the wind was making it worse. The cold drops of rain felt good against my skin. I looked up and droplets of water were rolling off of my eyelashes. I tried to wipe them away but it only seemed to produce more rolling off of my eyes. A few streaks of lighting lit up the sky. It all would have been really beautiful if my heart wasn't breaking in a million tiny pieces.
I honestly didn't know why I was still here. After I took off out of the house I phased and just started to run. I ran towards no where in particular but I ended up on first beach. I am not even sure why I came back or better yet when. I just ended up here. Almost in a trance like state. I just needed to make sure she was ok. Why wouldn't she be ok? She had him here to help her. As strong as she was now, she would still be worried about me. At least, I hope she was. I am worried about her. I just want to be there for her, but really in return she doesn't need anyone else.
Maybe that is why I came back now. To make her understand. She needed to know that I would always be here for her even if she didn't need me to be.
If it was possible, it was raining harder than before. I walked up the sidewalk and opened the door. Someone was awake and I am betting it was him. As soon as I stepped inside I smelt it. There was no denying what went on in here. While I was out in the storm they were in here screwing. I could tell now it was definetly him that was awake. For once in my life I was dreading seeing my best friend. How hard could it be? It was only him, the same boy I grew up with. I turned the corner to see him standing there with a change of cloths in his hands.
"Bella got these out for you. Go change we need to talk." He spoke easily. He didn't sound to upset at me. Oh yeah that is right that would be because he has everything he could want. Only because he stole it off me. I took the clothes from his hands.
I made my way down the hall towards the bathroom. Once inside I quickly removed my wet cloths. They were clinging to my body and once they were off I felt the cool air hit my wet skin. After quickly drying myself off I pulled on the grey sweatpants Bella had laid out for me. That proves she does care. She thought about me enough to set out a spare pair of clothes.
I glanced at myself in the mirror. My hands instantly moved to my hair and combed through it, pushing it down. I swallowed the lump in my throat. This was going to be harder then I thought.
BPOV
After walking into the kitchen I kissed EJ on the top of the head and hugged his shoulders slightly.
"How are you feeling today baby?" I asked taking a seat next to him.
"Good Uncle Quil made me breakfast. Look it is my favorite!" he pointed to his plate and his face lit up. His smile grew wider and his eyes sparkled.
Maybe he wouldn't be in as much pain as I thought he would be.
"I see. Did you tell him thank you?"
"Ummm….thank you Uncle Quil." He giggled.
"Anytime buddy." Quil walked over to the table and handed Jake and me a plate before kissing EJ's cheek. His eyes met mine for a split second as he sat between Jake and E.J. and his smile that was on his face, was so warm and I couldn't help but smile back. My trance was broken by the sound of someone clearing their throat.
That was when it occurred to me. Jake, he was the only one left in the room. I turned to look at him and he refused to look me in the eye.
My heart sunk a little lower in my chest as he continued to stare blankly at his plate.
"So how is your ankle?" I focused back on what mattered most. My son.
"Good, good." He began to eat his bowl of fruit. "It hurt a little but Uncle Quil gave me my medicine and now I am all better."
He seemed to be in good spirits and that made me feel a lot better. I looked up at Quil and he just shrugged.
"I know you didn't get much sleep last night so I figured I would let you sleep in a little longer."
My face felt like it was on fire and I knew I had been blushing feverously. I turned my focus to my breakfast, eating slowly. My eyes were glued to my plate. Between bites I would move my fork slowly over my food as I listened to their endless banter. I had to fight the urge to glance up at them. I allowed myself to slip a few times and immedietly regretted it. Both sets of their eyes were upon me. Knowing if I didn't stop myself the blush would never leave my cheeks. So patiently I waited for time to pass.
The rest of breakfast was painfully silent except for EJ little bursts of laughter and the conversation between Jacob and Quil.
They were actually getting along pretty well despite everything that happened last night.
Once we were all finished, Jake carried EJ back into the living room as Quil stood to help me clear the table.
"I got it Quil. Go in there with them. Enjoy yourself, ok" I motioned toward the room as I gathered the plates in my hand and walked toward the sink.
"Are you sure Bella?" Quil came up from behind me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
I turned to face him and looked deep into his eyes. I nodded not being able to find the words at the moment.
He smiled in response and kissed my cheek before turning to walk away. He didn't make it far before I heard him stop.
I turned to see what the matter was.
"Quil?"
"Bella, I am sorry." His back was still facing me. His voice was full of emotion as he looked down.
"For what Quil?" I walked over and ran my hand down his back. I didn't want him to be sorry or regretful.
"I should have handled myself better last night. If I hurt y-" I cut him off right there. I didn't want him to be concerned with whether or not he hurt me. I was tired of both of them only being concerned with me and not themselves.
I slipped myself in around and in front of him and in his arms forcing him into a hug.
"Quil don't be sorry, please." He hugged me back and whispered to me in a low voice.
"We need to have a talk with EJ, he is going to notice the changes in our relationship not to mention everything else.I think it is time you tell him about Jake, Bella." I sighed and broke away from his embrace.
"Yeah I know. I need to talk to Jake." I leaned back against the counter and let out a long breath, running my hand through my hair. "Will you be there when we tell him?"
"Of course I will, if you want me to be. You should know that." He reached out and ran his hand down my arm before taking my hand. "Are you sure you don't want any help in here?" He smiled. His whole disposition was different today. Almost as if the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders.
"Yeah I am fine. Besides it is the least I can do you were the one that got up early with EJ and made breakfast." He smiled one last smile and walked out of the room.
After filling the sink with warm soapy water I placed all the breakfast dishes in it. The eggs and butter were still out on the stove, so I grabbed them to put them back in the refrigerator. Closing the refrigerator door sent the little pink invitation flying through the air.
After walking over and picking it up, I flipped it open to see when it was. When Seth had given me it I was too focused on getting the hell out of here to pay attention to the date of the party. Looks like I would have to buy a present. I wasn't sure what to buy a 5 year old little girl. It shouldn't be too hard though. Shopping reminded me I had to call and cancel my plans with Alice. After everything that happened last night and I do mean everything, I no longer felt like a day out on the town. I knew that even though EJ was feeling good now he would not feel up to shopping all day and then a party at night. We would be lucky if he felt up for the party.
After hanging the invitation back up on the frig door I turned to look at the huge silver clock. It was already 12:30, wow he did let me sleep in.
I called Alice and rescheduled for next week and focused on getting the kitchen clean. Quickly I began to wash the dishes while thoughts rummaged through my head.
I knew that the day would come when I would have to tell EJ who is father was. I never thought he would have gotten the chance to get to know him before I did so. I must have been pretty deep in thought not to hear anyone enter the room. With a wet plate in hand I turned to grab a dishtowel of the countertop behind me. I was so startled to see Jake there. I jumped and dropped the plate, that was in my hand. It fell to the floor while shattering into pieces.
I immediately began to pick up the pieces. It is funny how the metaphor reflects the actuality of the situation. My life was the plate and I had to pick up the pieces and just when all the pieces were put back in order the plate fell again. This causing me to lose all the effort I put into making my life any better then it was before.
Again so caught up in my own little world I hadn't noticed Jake was kneeling down next to me helping pick up the pieces.
I laughed lightly thinking of the irony of the situation. Jake and Quil were my rocks, each at a different time in my life. However none the less they picked up my pieces and glued me back together. I couldn't help but think that my heart wouldn't be able to with stand much more. There are only so many times that something can be broke and glued back together before becoming nonrepairable. With each piece that gets glued into place something else forms along the lines. It can be many things. Respect, understanding, patience, and even love. And once that bond forms it is almost impossible to destroy. Even after it gets broken again.
I began to wonder if I made the right decision. Could I live the rest of my live with the choice I made? Although my heart told me I did, I couldn't help but feel for the heart I was about to shatter. Leaving it for someone else to glue back together.
"Everything okay Bella?" I looked up at Jake. Something was obviously on his mind. He looked like he was thinking about something very hard. Something that wasn't easy to think about.
"Yeah actually Jake I wanted to talk to you." I began as I threw the pieces of glass into the garbage. I turned to see him standing, looming in front of me.
"Well can I at least apologize before you start?" He had the saddest look of regret on his face. I couldn't help but wonder why.
I think he knew that his request through me off track because he began to speak again quickly.
"I am sorry. It didn't go quite how I planned it to and if you-"His eyes froze on one particular spot and instinctively my hand touched the spot on my neck.
He sighed and began to speak without looking me in the eye. "Do you know what that represents Bella?" His voice was pained as he spoke. He glanced up at me and I shook my head no.
"When a wolf finds his mate, his life partner, he marks them for the entire world to know she belongs to him. The wolf had to ask first of course, to make sure the feelings are mutual." As he spoke I felt a huge wave of guilt wash over me.
"Jacob last night,-" I couldn't go any further. Even though I tried to push myself and convince my conscience it was ok, I couldn't. So I changed the subject. "Jake I wanted to see what you thought about telling EJ you were his father." I rushed so quickly I wasn't sure if he would even be able to understand it.
"W-what?" He stuttered.
"I think it is time we tell him. With all the changes that are going to be happening I don't want everything happening at once. It will be too much for him. He has already taken to you quite well and I think it is time he knew." He was still looking at me as if I had two heads. "That is if you want to tell him." I added a little quieter then the rest of it.
"Of course I want to tell him Bella." He left out a long sigh. He still looked sad though.
"Okay. Well how about later this afternoon? I need you and Quil to do me a favor and if EJ feels up to the party tonight we can all leave together. Does that sound ok?"
"What you mean like one big happy family?" He smirked. I knew what he was doing and I was not going to fall for it. I smiled and walked away and into the livingroom. Jake was right behind me as I sat down on the sofa.
"Quil I was wondering if you and Jake would go to the store and buy Emily's neice a birthday present?" He was sitting with EJ half lying in his lap. "Sure." He agreed reluctantly.
I smiled in response and spoke to my son. "EJ if you feel up to it later there is going to be a big party down at the beach tonight."
"Really? Can we go please?" His face lit up. The boy loved the beach and I knew he would enjoy himself even if he was injured.
"Only if you feel up to it that's why we are gonna stay here while they go shopping for the present ok?" He nodded in agreement.
Jake borrowed some of Quils' clothes and they left to buy the present. After I filled EJ ice pack and gave him another dose of medicine he fell asleep shortly after.
I kept my eyes glued to the TV. Reruns of CSI were on and I had been watching it since they left. Which was about 3 hours ago? I wondered what could be taking them so long. I thought about what Jake had said about the mark on my neck. The thought of being marked comforted me more than I could have thought it would have.
I must have drifted asleep because the next thing I remember is Jake softly shaking my shoulders telling me to get up.
I stretched my arms above my head and yawned. "What time is it?"
"Umm it is" Quil turned to look at the clock behind him "4:48, what time is the party?"
"6:30" I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand. "Are you guys ready to tell him?"
I looked over to see Jake and Quil sitting on the couch across from me, the one I had slept on the night before. They both looked as nervous as I felt. I already know that EJ liked Jacob, I just didn't know how he would feel toward the fact that we hadn't told him sooner. Who his father was or wasn't for that matter, has always been a touchy subject.
They nodded and I saw Jake moving his legs impatiently while he bit his nails. He really must be nervous.
"How long has he been up?" I asked as I turned to see him sitting on the floor paying with his cars.
"Well we have been here long enough to wrap the presents" Jake began and Quil interrupted "Which took forever!" he complained.
"Right." Jake finished "Ephraim was up and helped us so about 45 minutes." I nodded and called for him, asking if we could talk about something. He nodded and Quil picked him up and sat him down next to me on the sofa.
Quil took his seat next to Jake again and I shared one last glance with them. Jake took a deep breath as I spoke.
"Ephraim, I ….well we want to talk to you about your father. Is that okay?" I spoke as softly as I could. I didn't want the guys to realize just how nervous I really was. He nodded so I proceeded. "Well Eph, Jake is your father." I announced as I let out a long breath I hadn't realized I was holding as I watched my son and waited for his reaction.
After what felt like forever Ephraim finally blinked…. "I know, Mommy." he said.
Damn, I didn't see that coming.