'I know,' said Dean. With a groan, he sat down again. 'I know. That son of a bitch gave us this book knowing full well he was in it and he didn't even bother mentioning it.'

Cas pulled up a chair and sat across from Dean.

'What was The Savior to him?'

'A random chick who summoned him and they became friends. She used to talk to him about all the ways she wanted to torture people … there's very graphic descriptions,' Dean winced, looking at the book again and distastefully turning a page. 'They're even worse now that I know who she was talking to. And we're mentioned,' he added. 'All three of us.'

'We are?'

'Yeah. She told him we'd come looking for him during the apocalypse – this was way before that – and he said that we wouldn't. She vanished the night we did, never seen by him again.'

'And how do you know it's Crowley?'

'It mentions a mother. An abandoning mother. And that she's a witch. That's the most obvious part and it's true that could be a lot of witches since none of them seem too nice, but if you analyze it, it mentions a lot of other stuff not in so many words. That's how I figured out the apocalypse thing. It didn't actually say "hey, the first three victims need your help with Lucifer and Michael's bitchfight." It just hinted, subtly, barely in understandable English.'

'Have you contacted Crowley about it? Just to be sure?'

'I texted him just before you came in. I was about to go look for you and Sam to see what you guys make of this. He hasn't replied.'

'Maybe you should try calling.'

'Yeah. I'll try that on the way to ask Sam what he thinks.' Dean started scrolling through his phone as they left the library and found Crowley's number. 'What do you think?'

'I think that he could tell us more about his experience and more about her that we didn't already know. Or ask him if he's found her since. What was her name?'

'Emma.'

'Emma … she doesn't seem to be following any sort of pattern, does she?'

'Doesn't seem like it. Damn it!' Dean pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it in frustration when it came up "BUSY". 'He's not picking up.'

'Did you really expect him to?'

'He picked up for Sam.'

'Maybe he likes Sam better than you.'

'That's likely,' Dean replied sarcastically. 'I'll try again later.'

They continued to the kitchen in silence, tense silence, Cas half thinking about the whole Crowley thing and half thinking about when he had kissed Dean just now. There was a fluttering in his stomach from it still, which he related to butterflies, and he wanted to do it again but this thing with The First Book was more important after all; dirt on The Savior made it easier to … find her? Summon her? Whatever.

Sam, in the kitchen, had his hand up a turkey's ass. Dean couldn't help his automatic eyebrow raise at the ridiculous sight and momentarily dropped the Crowley thing to make fun of the situation.

'Sorry for interrupting. Do you two need a minute alone?'

'Ha ha,' Sam said in a monotone.

'No, seriously. I didn't take you for someone who's into fisting. I hope you used lube.'

'Screw you.'

'All jokes aside,' said Dean, walking to stand across from Sam with Cas at his side, 'get your hand out of that poor bird's ass. I found out something important.'

Sam slowly extracted his hand and went to wash it while looking at Dean with a serious look.

'Oh yeah? What did you find out?'

'That Crowley is in The First Book.'

'Oh yeah, I know. I figured that out.'

Dean frowned at him.

'You did?'

'Yeah. So?'

'So … you didn't bother telling us?'

'It's not like him being in the book is such a shock. He's the King of Hell. It makes sense that he's in a book about heaven and hell.'

'And you didn't think he could help us find The Savior?'

Dean was getting frustrated at Sam's casualness.

'Find her? Dean, when it's time, she'll show up and get rid of The Darkness. We don't have to do anything about it anymore. It's done.'

'It is not done!'

'I have to agree with Dean here,' Castiel chipped in.

'Okay, so maybe it's not done. But there's nothing we can do so can we just leave it until after the New Year, please?' Sam asked, looking thoroughly tired of the subject.

'The New Year?' Dean asked in exasperation.

'Well we can't do Christmas without actually doing something for the New Year!'

'But it's the twentieth! New Year's Eve is eleven days away!'

'You can forget about it for eleven days. Come on, Dean. There's nothing we can do either way.'

Dean stared at him in complete and utter disbelief. Then he took a deep breath and let it go.

'Fine. Fine. Let's just sit and wait. Have it your way.'

Dean swept out of the room in a huff, muttering under his breath as he went. Sam and Cas exchanged a look. Sam raised his eyebrows.

'I'll talk to him,' Cas promised, turning to follow Dean out.

Dean looked very annoyed and looked at Cas when he joined his side.

'Can you believe him?' he asked. 'Trying this damn hard to avoid thinking about the fact that he's in that stupid book? People's lives are at stake here. If Amara isn't stopped and soon …'

'Maybe he genuinely believes that there's nothing we can do,' Castiel said reasonably. 'Because he's right in a way. We don't know enough about The Savior to find her. We could talk to Crowley and see if he knows anything, but I have a feeling he knows just about as much as we do.'

Dean groaned.

'Cas, we can't do nothing.'

'We won't do nothing. You can keep calling Crowley, keep texting him, but if that doesn't work we can summon him … after Christmas.'

'Seriously? After?'

'But before New Years,' said Cas. 'It's a compromise.'

'I guess …'

Dean sighed deeply, stopping in his tracks and looking at Cas. He looked less angry now, more like he'd just given up and accepted it.

'Why are you always right?'

Castiel shrugged.

'I'm not always right. I'm just right this time.'

As Dean continued walking, his arms by his sides, he felt his hand brush against Cas's next to him briefly. He swallowed nervously. They continued walking side by side, unsure of their exact destination until they reached Dean's bedroom and lingered outside of the door. Dean looked at it as if he was surprised it was there.

'Wanna hang out?' he asked, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head towards the door.

Castiel looked from Dean to the door back to Dean. They'd never actually hung out in Dean's room before. Or actually "hung out" without it being clarified exactly what they were doing. He found himself nodding.

'Sure.'

Dean opened the door and headed inside. Once Cas had followed him in, he closed it. They both headed over to the bed and sat down in silence side by side. There really was nothing to be done in this room. There wasn't even a TV.

Castiel turned towards Dean, who sensed the movement and turned to look at him too. Dean titled his head to the side and raised his eyebrows questioningly. Castiel squinted at him, mimicking his head tilting actions. Dean smirked.

'Stop it,' said Cas.

'Stop what?' Dean asked, a look of indifference on his face now.

'You know exactly what you're doing.'

'And what's that?'

'You're … you're just …'

'Trying to make you do this?'

Dean reached out for Cas's face and Castiel knew exactly what he was about to do and he was ready for it. Dean's hand caressed Cas's cheek and Castiel felt himself start to melt but he resisted the urge to close his eyes and instead kept them locked on Dean's. As Dean got closer and closer, Cas's eyes wandered towards Dean's lips, which brushed his own, barely.

'Cas,' Dean mumbled, so close that Cas could feel his words on his lips, 'what are we doing?'

Castiel whispered, 'I don't know.'

Dean leaned back and slowly let his hand fall away. Cas felt like it's lack of presence was burning his cheek and it was hard not to rub where the hand been. He felt relief in hearing Dean ask what he himself had been wondering all day.

'Last night …' Dean started, hesitating.

'Last night I meant what I said,' Castiel said rather shakily. 'And this morning.'

Dean nodded.

'Yeah,' he said. 'Me too.' More hesitation. 'What are we, Cas?'

He hated asking that question. That was a question he had never wanted to have to ask anyone.

'Friends who love each other,' Castiel replied, not looking at Dean's eyes and instead staring at his lips. He couldn't help it. They looked moist and darker than usual. 'The kind of love where I know at least one of us wants to … kiss the other. Except he doesn't know to what extent the other wants it …'

Dean nodded slowly.

'I think that about covers it,' he agreed, his eyes flickering from Cas's seemingly half-closed eyelids and onto his lips, where he knew Cas's eyes were on his own. 'But I think we need to talk about it first.'

Dean groaned internally when he said it. He hated stuff like that. He avoided it at all costs. Confrontation and discussing "feelings" was not something he did, and he hated that he was confused about this. He knew what he wanted. He knew what he was. He didn't know if Cas knew, though, whether that knowing was about Cas or whether it was about Dean or what it was about though.

'I agree,' said Castiel, nodding. His eyes dropped from Dean's lips to his own lap and he shifted backwards before looking back up and trying to focus on Dean's eyes and not get distracted by the freckles on his cheeks which suddenly seemed a lot more interesting than usual. 'I have questions. For you. About you. If you don't mind.'

'Go ahead,' Dean offered, but at the same time feeling nervous about what those questions might be. 'It's not like I've got anything to hide. From you, at least.'

Castiel's question was a pretty simple one.

'Aren't you straight?'

Panic flashed in Dean's eyes briefly and he glanced at the door, then at Cas again. He lowered his voice although he knew nobody was listening and he couldn't face looking Cas in the eyes. His heart started to pound. He'd never given the response to the question that he was about to give now.

'No.'

Castiel looked hopeful.

'You're not?'

Dean shook his head. Castiel's gaze intensified.

'But I've never told anyone that before,' Dean continued slowly, nervously. 'If you don't count guys I've … y'know … no one knows. No one I'll ever see again … except Crowley, but he doesn't count. I wasn't me. I was a demon. That's different.'

'You've been with men?' Cas asked, completely stunned. That he didn't expect. 'How many?'

It was a stupid question, Cas knew it, but Dean shrugged, looking indifferent but Cas could still sense his unease.

'A few. I guess. Over the years.'

'When did you first …?'

'Early twenties,' Dean admitted rather sheepishly. 'But I first kissed a guy when I was fifteen. At school. Behind a dumpster during lunch.'

'You're kidding.'

'I'm not. In fact, I freaked out so much the first time I actually kissed a girl a year later that she assumed it was my first time kissing anyone.'

'And you went along with it, didn't you?'

'Obviously. It's not like I could just say "oh no, I made out with a guy last year but kissing girls is a whole new experience, thanks for asking" now could I?'

'You could have,' Cas reasoned, 'but I guess not.' He paused. 'So you're … what? Bi?'

'Yeah,' said Dean, nodding, feeling less nervous now. 'Like Piper Chapman. Or Callie Torres.' When he saw Cas's eyebrows shoot up, he winced. 'Shit. Spoilers. Sorry.'

'It's fine,' Cas said offhandedly, then, 'does Sam know?'

'No,' said Dean, shaking his head. 'Not even him. Just you. And I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell him or anyone else.'

'But why?'

The genuine look of confusion in Cas's questioning little frown made Dean feel very stupid about his own feelings and thoughts because somewhere, deep down, he knew they were as stupid as he felt.

'I don't want him to look at me differently,' Dean said quietly. 'I don't want anyone to see me any different to how they already do.'

'But they won't,' said Cas. 'No one who knows you will, especially not Sam. Sam's not even straight. He told me today.'

'Yeah, I know he's not,' said Dean, nodding. 'He told me he had a thing for Gabriel years ago.'

'He had a thing for Gabriel?'

'He didn't tell you that bit?'

'No?'

'Huh.' For a moment, Dean smiled, a small laugh possibly escaping although Cas couldn't be sure because it was silent. 'I thought he would've.'

'Well he didn't,' said Cas with an accompanying shake of his head, followed by an amused smile. 'But it's nice to hear that both Winchester brothers have things for angels. It really makes us look good.'

Dean actually did laugh this time.

'Yeah, it does make you guys look good doesn't it?' But it seemed his laughter was short lived, because he quickly switched topics back, saying, 'but still, please, don't say anything. I'm not ready for that … even if he doesn't see me any different.'

'I would never tell anyone anything you told me in confidence,' Castiel assured him, reaching out automatically for his hand. It was warm. 'Not unless you ever wanted me to. I'm just happy you told me.'

'Yeah?'

'Yeah. It means a lot. And, if it makes you feel better, I'm not just a little gay, I'm completely gay, so you're not alone in your non-heterosexuality.'

Dean's laugh seemed more real this time and he looked down at their joined hands then back up at Cas, but under his lashes this time.

'I like the way you put that,' he commented. 'Saying "a little gay" sounds a lot better than saying bi. That's a whole other sexuality. But "a little gay" is just that. A little gay.'

'Well there's a reason you Winchesters have things for us angels. We have a way with words.'

Dean laughed even more.

'So that's what it is.' He sighed, feeling like a load had been taken off his chest. 'Cas, buddy, you're awesome.'

'I know,' Castiel replied smugly, a smirk and a raised eyebrow making a shiver go down Dean's smile.

'So can I act a little gay with you for a minute?' Dean asked, almost teasingly now.

'Act as gay as you please.'

Dean's genuine smile made Castiel feel good. But not just good, like, really good, and the smile was contagious and he couldn't help smiling as Dean's hand returned to his face but his face also returned to his face and Cas felt the softness of his lips and the scratchiness of his stubble and the strokes of his thumb. He felt the heat of Dean's body as it moved closer to him, shifting into a more comfortable position, and Dean's free hand somewhere on the bottom of his back. He felt Dean's every movement as he placed his own hands on Dean's waist incredibly gently.

He felt Dean. And Dean was better than watching a thousand sunsets on a hilltop with the scent of flowers and honey in the air.

Of course it wouldn't fucking last. Dean's tongue was just grazing, barely touching even, Cas's bottom lip, when the shrill and obvious sound of Dean's ringing phone sliced through the air, forcing them apart.

'Is it Crowley?' Castiel asked as Dean pulled his phone out of his pocket.

'No, Jody,' said Dean, frowning at his phone in confusion.

'As in Mills?'

'Yeah, her.' Dean answered the call. 'Jody?' he greeted questioningly.

'Dean,' she replied. She sounded happy. 'Hey. How are you? What's happening? I haven't heard from you guys in a while.'

'We're good,' Dean answered, glancing at Cas. 'Really good actually. Better than we've been in a while. What about you?'

'Could be worse,' Jody replied, which Dean took to mean that she was good too.

'How's looking after two teenage girls treating you?' Dean asked, thinking of Alex and of course, of Claire. 'Have they thrown any wild parties yet? Run off to Vegas to marry those boys you keep telling them they shouldn't be around?'

'Surprisingly, no,' said Jody with a laugh, making Dean smile, and then Cas smile when Cas saw Dean smiling. 'But I did want to run something by you and Sam, if that's okay with you.'

'Sam's got his hand inside a dead bird right now, but I'll be sure to run whatever it is by him,' said Dean. 'Cas is here, though. He says hey.'

Dean glanced at Cas, who nodded, Dean taking that to mean that he did in fact "say hey".

'Tell him I said right back atcha,' Jody said rather perkily. 'And that I hope I get to meet him soon. I've heard enough about him from you and Sam.'

'She says hey and that she hopes to get to meet you soon,' Dean passed the message along.

'Tell her I feel the same way,' said Cas.

'Hey says ditto,' Dean said into the phone. 'So what's up? Got a case for us?'

'For once, no,' Jody replied. 'Actually it's completely unrelated to anything like that. It's about Christmas.'

'As everything seems to be these past few days.'

'I was just wondering if you guys ever do anything this time of year.'

'Not usually,' Dean admitted, 'but this year, yeah. Sam's gone Christmas-crazy. Why do you ask?'

'Because I was thinking – we were thinking – that maybe you guys wanted to do something. You could come here, we could come there, whatever works. Claire's been asking about you guys since we talked to Donna last.'

'You talked to Donna?'

'Oh, yeah. We're still pretty friendly. She's less overwhelming once you get to know her, y'know?'

'I know,' said Dean. 'So Claire's been asking about us, huh? Didn't expect that.'

Dean glanced at Cas, who's eyes had widened now. Dean threw him a grin, which was returned.

'Well there you have it. And I thought maybe it would be nice if all of us got together and did something that wasn't related to chopping the heads off things. Donna would be coming too. There's no better time for it.'

'You have a point there,' Dean agreed. 'Yeah, sure. Let's do it. Sam's got this place decorated like the decorations section of a store so why don't you guys come over whenever, stay a couple days, or not, or whatever suits you. Sam'll be cool with it.'

'Great!' Jody seemed even perkier now. 'I'll call back when I talk to the girls about it. Maybe you'll have talked to Sam by then.'

'I'll go talk to him right now,' Dean promised.

'Good. You do that. Talk later, yeah?'

'Yeah. See you.'

'Buh-bye.'

End of call. Dean put his phone down and turned back towards Cas, who looked eager.

'What's happening?'

'It seems like we'll be having guests for Christmas. Is that okay with you?'

'Of course it is. I want to meet Jody. And Alex. And see Claire again.'

'And Donna will be there too.'

'Even better.'

Dean grinned.

'Let's go tell Sam about it.'

Dean jumped to his feet and Cas copied him as they headed towards the door. Cas felt Dean's hand grabbed hold of his own, and for the first time he didn't wonder why. He just looked up at Dean, feeling his heart fill with joy at the sight of the gleam in Dean's eyes.

'You look happy.'

'I am happy,' Dean answered simply. 'I don't know why, but I'm happy. And God, Cas, it's been a while.'

'I know it has,' Cas sympathized, squeezing Dean's hand. 'But it's good to see you happy. You and Sam both. It's rare.'

'And it's Christmas,' said Dean, as if that cleared things up even more.

For some reason, even though Cas was new to the whole Christmas thing and he knew that Dean usually didn't give it a second thought, it did clear things up.

Sam was all for the notion of having guests.

'All the more people to feed,' he said enthusiastically. 'Because it turns out I actually don't suck at cooking this stuff. And we're having turkey tonight.'

'The same turkey that's had your fist up it's ass?'

'I was stuffing it, Dean.'

'So that's what you're calling it these days?'

Sam ignored him.

'So, does this mean we'll have to go out and buy more presents or what?'

Dean hadn't thought of that, but the thought of having to buy presents for people suddenly didn't seem so bad. It meant that they actually had friends.

'Cas and I can go,' he said offhandedly. 'We'll head back to Kansas City. There's some decent places there. We just left so we don't mind heading back, right Cas?'

'Right,' Cas agreed.

'Okay, good,' said Sam, nodding, 'just wait until this turkey is ready before you guys go so you can take some with you? I have five others that I don't need because I thought I'd end up messing up most of them. It's not funny,' he added, glaring at Dean who had started laughing at him.

'Yes it is.'

'No it's not.'

'Whatever you say, Sammy. Tell me when it's finished so Cas and me can get going, would you?'

'Yeah, I'll let you know.'

Dean nodded his thanks and left, Cas following him.

'We're going back?' Cas asked, looking at Dean in a state similar to disbelief. 'We just left.'

'I know,' Dean agreed. 'Believe me, I don't like going all that way just to shop either, but it gives us something to do, doesn't it?'

Cas shrugged.

'I guess. The drive gives me more time to read.'

'That's the spirit,' said Dean with a chuckle. 'But until then …'

They stopped walking and Dean looked around quickly before kissing Cas for a number of seconds that was far too short for Cas's liking. He was only just starting to get to kiss someone he actually liked, and Dean was cutting those kisses short?

'We could go be a little gay?' Cas suggested, quietly, raising an eyebrow at Dean.

'While watching Grey's?'

'Of course. All of this travelling is seriously cutting into my catch up time and I want to see if the John Winchester lookalike is going to get his heart or not.'

Dean laughed and they started walking again in the direction of Cas's room, by now an old routine thanks to the events of the past few days. It was almost like clockwork, how their feet found their way to Cas's room and they hadn't even paid attention to how they'd got there, then the TV was on so fast it was like it had switched itself on, and then they were in their usual positions and watching Izzie trying to keep Denny alive. They joined the episode when it was already twenty minutes, because that was where Cas had stopped watching last.

The show gripped them so fast that they didn't end up doing anything gay at all. Although that was to be expected. Dean had heard about this whole "Netflix and Chill" thing and had deemed it completely ridiculous, because why would anyone bother putting on a show without watching it? Especially when McDreamy was on screen. McDreamy was so much more McDreamy than Doctor Sexy from Doctor Sexy M.D. had been sexy.

Sam came in a little after the next episode had started to tell them they could leave.

'What happened to the turkey?' Cas asked.

'It exploded,' said Sam.

Castiel raised his eyebrows. Dean blinked at Sam questioningly.

'It exploded,' he repeated.

'Yeah,' Sam nodded.

'How did you manage to explode a dead bird?'

'I tried to deep-fry it.'

Dean closed his eyes to get over how awkward looking Sam seemed to get when he made the ridiculous statement. He took a deep breath before he opened his eyes again.

'Just use the fucking oven next time, yeah?'

'Yeah, noted,' Sam said with a roll of his eyes. 'So you guys can leave now. And get decent presents, or at least try, will you?'

'Don't under estimate my gift giving abilities,' Dean scoffed, acting as if it were something incredibly offensive.

'So basically candles and cop movies for Jody and Donna and you're asking Jody what to get for Alex and Claire?'

'Yeah, sounds about right. Cas?'

'Socks would be good too,' Cas chimed in. 'Isn't it a big thing with humans to give socks to people this time of year?'

'Socks, movie, candle. That's three gifts. You're a genius.'

'Pick decent movies,' Sam warned them. 'And I'm saying the movies are from me since they're the least crappy. And don't forget cards.'

'I'm not stupid, Sam.'

Sam raised his eyebrows, turning towards Cas.

'I'll remind him,' Cas promised.

'Thank God I've got you to rely on,' Sam sighed, being over dramatic with his false relief. 'Literally. Thank God.'

Dean rolled his eyes, folding his arms and staring at Sam with an exasperated look. Cas, on the other hand, laughed. At the sound of Castiel's laughter, Dean turned towards him with his eyebrows raised. Cas frowned at him.

'What? It was funny.'

Another look at both of them and Dean shook his head.

'You two are morons,' he decided, sweeping past Sam in the doorway and out of the room, talking as he went. 'I'm getting my stuff. Cas, meet me by the car when you're done laughing at dumb jokes.'

Sam and Cas exchanged a look before Sam looked out the door to watch Dean walking away in what looked like the beginnings of a huff. He turned back to Cas.

'I guess Dean really doesn't like it when anyone laughs at jokes that aren't his.'

'Possibly because people rarely laugh at his,' Cas agreed. He turned to his closet and pulled out his Supernatural backpack to throw some things into. 'But despite his usually bad jokes, his comebacks are always something to laugh at since they're so terrible most of the time.'

'And his reactions to things,' Sam added. 'He's got some pretty funny facial expressions when he reacts to things.'

'Sometimes I feel as though I'd like to take pictures of him reacting to things so I can show them to people when they say something that makes me feel the way his face looks in those situations. It would reduce my need to talk to people by a great degree.'

Sam laughed loudly at the way Cas had said it, then again at imaging him actually doing it. It did seem like something Cas would do if he could. Castiel frowned at him and he tried to let his laughter die down.

'I know you're serious,' Sam replied as the last of his laughter tapered off, 'I'm not laughing at you, I promise. I'm laughing because I know you're serious and because I agree.'

Dean suddenly reappeared behind Sam, walking as quietly as he could so Sam wouldn't notice. As he passed the doorway Sam was still standing in, he made a face behind Sam's back that made Cas feel the urge to laugh, but he repressed it as he zipped up his backpack.

'I should go meet Dean,' he acknowledged now that he was ready to leave and he knew that Dean was.

'Good luck,' Sam chortled.

'Why do I need luck?'

'I know what it's like being stuck in a car with him.'

'It's not so bad,' Cas said indifferently. 'On the way to Kansas City yesterday he told me about Ozzy Osbourne's entire life. That was fun.'

'Not when you've heard random stories from it at least a thousand times every time he's reminded of one of them,' Sam warned.

'I'll try not to remind him of one then,' Cas promised.

'Still. You've been subjected to a lot of Dean this week. How're you holding up?' Sam joked, raising his eyebrows playfully.

'I'm fine for now. I'll let you know if Dean starts corrupting me.'

'Good. Just make sure it's not too late.'

They exchanged a few more jokes as Sam walked with Cas for a while and parted when Sam said he'd better try his luck with another turkey and Cas should get going out to Dean.

'What are you going to do while we're gone?' Cas asked curiously before they parted. 'Besides practicing not exploding turkeys.'

'I've got some stuff to do,' Sam said, shrugging, as if he were indifferent. Cas saw that he appeared to not want to disclose what that "stuff" was, but decided not to pry.

'Good luck with your stuff.'

'Good luck with Dean.'

When Cas got out to the car, Dean was leaning against it with a bored look, but when he saw Cas approaching, he raised his eyebrows and flashed a grin.

'Done laughing at crappy jokes?'

'For now,' Castiel commented as the two of them got into the car. As he tossed his bag into the back seat, he added, 'until I have to force myself to laugh at any jokes you may make.'

'Fuck you, I'm hilarious,' Dean said self-indulgently, with a bold smile that was purely to himself.

'Sometimes,' Cas agreed, 'but other times your jokes are stupid enough to be ironically funny. And then there are the times they're just stupid.'

'You're just stupid,' Dean muttered under his breath as he started the car, and looked shocked when he discovered that it was actually an insult. 'That worked out well.'

'I think that may be the first time I've heard one of your comebacks work out in your favor,' Cas remarked. 'Good job.'

'Thank you,' Dean smirked, looking proud of himself.

They pulled out of their parking spot and Dean switched on the radio. Once Cas had deemed it safe to say that there wouldn't be any flowing conversation just now, he reached into the back to pull out his book which he opened up and prepared to continue reading. He glanced at Dean before he did and couldn't help but allow himself a small smile. He'd kissed Dean today. Pretty, pretty Dean. And he was the only one Dean trusted enough to share a part of himself that he hadn't yet shared with anyone else. Cas was feeling a strong urge to kiss Dean right now, but since he couldn't he was feeling an urge to at least touch him in some way, but that wasn't a new thing. Besides, he didn't have an excuse to and didn't know if it was appropriate, even now, to randomly touch Dean.

He could still look, though. He could glance at Dean after every sentence he read and he could think about the fact that he had kissed Dean and he could think of it over and over and over again.

Castiel read through pretty much the whole car journey apart from when Jody called to tell Dean that they'd be there for Christmas and that she'd already called Sam and they'd be arriving on the twenty third until the twenty sixth. Dean had been mildly shocked by that, but definitely didn't protest. He'd never had anyone to properly celebrate Christmas with and the fact that this year he would excited him in ways he definitely would never show.

'Oh, and Dean?' Jody remembered, just before the end of the call. 'Sam mentioned you guys didn't know what to get Claire and Alex. And really, you don't have to go to any trouble.'

'Of course we do,' Dean protested. 'It's Christmas and we're already halfway to a place with decent shops anyway. So tell me. What do they like?'

'Music,' Jody replied without missing a beat. 'Specifically the heavy stuff, bands that started out decades ago, they're obsessed with this group called Black Sabbath right now – have you heard of them?'

'I was raised on them. Continue.'

'Yeah, Alex heard about them calling it a day and her obsession just shot through the roof and she dragged Claire up there with her. So basically anything with the words "Black Sabbath" written on it should do the trick.'

Dean nodded, already forming an idea.

'Thanks, Jody. That's great. So see you on the twenty third?'

'We'll be there.'

The call ended there and Castiel looked at Dean questioningly.

'Well?'

'Black Sabbath,' Dean replied. 'Of all things. They've got good taste.'

'So what are we getting them?'

'Merchandise, dear Cas, merchandise. I'm sure there's some in that charming little shop we seem to keep having the need to visit.'

'Hot Topic? Again?'

'You'd think they'd get the hint and open up one that isn't four fucking hours away, wouldn't they?'

Cas laughed, rolling his eyes at Dean's expression. Knowing Dean didn't expect a response and that it was partly a joke and partly a rhetorical question, Cas went back to his book, a small thought in the back of his head telling him "good job" for not thinking Dean's question was literal.

When they pulled up outside the motel it was already dark outside. Cas closed his book and went to exit the car, but he felt Dean's hand on his arm stopping him. He turned to Dean to see what he wanted.

'Is it cool if I get two double rooms?'

Castiel frowned.

'As in two separate rooms with double beds?'

'Yeah. So it'd be like a room each.'

Cas felt a sinking feeling inside him. Dean didn't want to share a room?

'But why?'

Seeing Cas's expression, Dean was quick to clarify.

'We'd only use one of them. The other is just so whoever's checking us in doesn't think that … y'know.'

The sinking became soaring. They weren't just sharing a room. They were sharing a bed.

'Please,' Cas urged. 'Go ahead. Get two rooms.'

Dean nodded, gestured for Cas to continue getting out of the car, and got out himself. He got both of their bags out of the back and handed Cas's over and slung his over his shoulder. As they headed inside, Cas stowed his book in his bag and slung his over his shoulder too.

'Back already?' the oddly chipper woman on the front desk asked when she caught sight of the pair she remembered from that morning.

'Seems like we just can't get enough,' Dean replied with that charming smile he always seemed to use on friendly women.

'Would you two like the same room? It's still vacant.'

'Actually could we get two double rooms, please?' Dean asked. He jerked his thumb at Cas, looking almost pained. 'It's my friend. He snores. No one can sleep in the same room as him.'

'I do not,' Cas protested grumpily. He understood it was just an excuse, but he didn't appreciate being the butt of a snore-related joke that this chirpy lady was now laughing at. 'He snores.'

This made the lady laugh even more and she was quick to check them in and give them their keys. They headed off towards one of the rooms together; it didn't seem suspicious that they were both headed in the same direction since it turned out the rooms they'd been given were next to each other. They went into the one that was the closest and put their bags down on the bed.

'So, food and drinks and Netflix or should we actually go out somewhere?' Dean asked as Cas sat on the end of the bed and looked around the room.

'The first one, definitely,' Cas replied. Dean nodded.

'Okay. I'll hit the net and see if Wendy's deliver.'

It turns out that they did deliver, but only to the lobbies of buildings. Dean made sure to leave his number when he ordered so the delivery person could let him know when they were there. He made the order over the phone while Cas set up Netflix and put the laptop on the end of the bed, next to where Dean was now sitting. Once Dean was done with the ordering, he stood up and moved to the top of the bed instead, letting Cas hit play and take his place beside him. Leaning back against the pillows, he began to feel extremely relaxed.

They watched in silence until the food arrived half an hour later. Dean got up and Cas paused the show.

'Would it be completely ridiculous to change and get into this bed right now even though it's incredibly early?' Cas asked when Dean was at the door.

'Probably not. Why?'

'Because this bed is exceedingly comfortable.'

Dean laughed.

'Yeah, go ahead. Be right back.'

Dean left and Cas changed and climbed into the bed. He quite liked the whole concept of laying in beds covered by thick duvets and sitting and laying in different positons. It was a soothing thing and it made him feel closer to the human side of himself. Plus, it was warm and comfortable and though he never got particularly cold or uncomfortable, not unless he was trapped in a freezer or something, it was an added bonus.

Dean was "right" back and put the arm fulls of food beside Cas. They had, of course, gotten a wide selection of things which he knew would all end up being eaten by the bottomless pit of angel sitting in bed with his arms folded across his chest. Dean didn't particularly like using the kind of language his mind was suddenly thinking in right now, but his mind wouldn't stop screaming at him that Cas looked, well, like an angel. But the kind you'd put "cute little" before before saying it.

Dean suddenly made a decision that in the moment did seem just that, sudden, but it's not like he hadn't been planning on actually sharing this bed with Castiel. That was kind of the whole point of the double bed in the first place. He just hadn't planned on sharing it with him this early.

Cas was reaching for one of the bags of food when Dean started taking his pants off and his hand froze, hovering above the bag as if stunned into stillness. Dean wasn't pantless for long as he pulled the sweats he usually wore when lounging around the bunker on single days off where he didn't get fully dressed out of his bag and threw them on. Next, he was briefly shirtless and Cas was overwhelmed by the freckles on Dean's shoulders that he could see from the back as Dean dug around in his bag for the worn old AC/DC shirt he'd been sleeping in lately. Cas only realized as Dean turned around after putting it on that it was the same shirt that Dean had leant him when he was recovering from Rowena's spell.

Cas was almost a little nervous when Dean peeled back the covers and climbed into the bed. They'd shared a blanket before, but that was a flimsy little blanket just over their laps. This was a bed and a duvet that Cas, so far, had pulled up to around his belly button.

Dean was admittedly nervous too as he reached forward and pulled the laptop closer so he could hit play and Grey's could continue as he reached into one of the bags of food and pulled out a burger, acting completely natural. Cas followed his lead.

They were disappointed half way through their meal to discover there was no minibar in the motel room, but neither one of them particularly felt like going out to buy alcohol and it wasn't as if they needed it anyway. The drinks (including Cas's coffee of course) Dean had ordered with the meal were enough to keep their mouths from going dry. And there was always water. They hadn't exactly been planning on getting drunk to enjoy the evening anyway and hadn't needed to up until now.

It seemed like they could have easily finished all of the food Dean had ordered for them, but deciding to leave some for later was a good idea too, although suddenly it didn't seem so early. The day had gone faster than they knew and it was ten at night now. Although, four hours back to the bunker, two or three hours there, four hours back …

When the episode they'd decided to stop eating during ended, Dean waited for the next one to start before pausing it before it could play more than a second. He rubbed his eyes which felt a little weird after staring at the screen for so long and glanced at Cas.

'Break?' he asked.

'Break,' Cas agreed.

Dean closed the laptop and moved it onto the floor next to the bed. Then he stretched his back, sitting up straight and stretching his arms above his head, before leaning back and turning his head towards Cas, who was watching him with an unreadable expression.

'What's on your mind?' Dean asked lightly.

'Nothing,' Cas replied, then paused, wondering if he should proceed. He proceeded. 'I was just thinking about the fact that you're … very pretty.'

Dean raised his eyebrows.

'Pretty?'

'Or handsome, if you'd prefer,' Cas added. 'But the word I would use to describe you is pretty.'

'As in "pretty boy"?'

'Perhaps. But not in the "stuck up pretty boy" kind of way. Just in the descriptive kind of way. You are pretty.'

Dean chuckled.

'Well, thanks, Cas.'

Dean reached out a hand towards Castiel's face. It felt weird that he was nervous now but hadn't been earlier. Probably had something to do with the fact that they were literally in bed together. His fingers rested lightly under Cas's jaw, his hand spanning across one side of his face, his thumb stroking somewhere around his cheekbone. He'd cupped Cas's face before. But he'd never stroked it. Nor had Cas ever leaned into his hand as if he craved the touch.

'Has anyone ever touched you like this before?' Dean asked quietly, staring into Cas's eyes which were boring holes into his own. 'Anyone you liked.'

'No,' Cas mumbled. 'Never.' He looked at Dean, reaching out with his own hand hesitantly. 'Can I?'

'Go ahead,' Dean urged. 'You don't need to ask. Just … do whatever.'

Tracing over the freckles on Dean's cheeks with one finger was far better than just looking at them from a distance. He had always wondered if he'd be able to count all of them, but seeing them this close he knew it was impossible. His finger traced down Dean's freckled nose. The skin was soft, but the structure was solid at the same time. Cas had never thought about touching Dean's nose before, but here he was.

He was very timid when it came to touching Dean's lips, despite having already touched them with his own. He withdrew his hand and asked something that had been on his mind since Dean had climbed into bed next to him.

'Is this weird for you?'

'Yeah,' Dean murmured. 'Pretty damn weird, actually.'

'Do you want to stop?'

'Fuck, no.'

Castiel smiled and Dean felt the muscles of Cas's face moving in his hand. Cas's fingers reached out to tip Dean's bottom lip. Yes, Castiel had carried Dean's broken soul out of hell, but yes, it still felt weird to have his fingers on his face, tracing the shape of the slightly parted, plump, pink lips. Dean's lips seemed to be dry and his tongue automatically darted out to wet them. He was incredibly conscious of how slowly the tips of Cas's fingers were grazing the edges, one ghosting finger coming to rest over his cupid's bow.

Cas dropped his finger at the sight of the moisture on the lips now, removed Dean's hand from his face and put both of his own hands on Dean's face as he kissed him. The kissing part felt the least weird, not because they'd already done it, but because it just seemed easier than getting to know the feel of various parts of Dean's face.

'So pretty,' Cas mumbled against Dean. 'So pretty.'

This act didn't come as naturally to Cas as he'd hoped it would. He was always waiting for Dean do to something different, then hoping he himself was doing it right when he followed Dean's lead. He dropped his hands from Dean's face and moved them to Dean's sides when he felt that's where Dean's hands were on him and when he felt Dean's tongue against his lips, instead of being interrupted by a phone call this time, Cas parted his lips and felt Dean's tongue slide in. He moved his own to meet it, at little clumsily at first, briefly wondering what the point of two people waggling their tongues around in each others' mouths was, but when he felt how Dean's tongue began to dip in and out, a flick here, a taste there, a slow graze along Cas's own, he got the gist pretty quickly and tried to copy Dean's movements.

Castiel felt a familiar stirring he'd felt many times before but usually ignored so it just went away. But now he was very aware of it and unable to ignore it and honestly, quite self-conscious about it. Was Dean supposed to become aware of Castiel's arousal? Did Cas want him to? Was Dean also aroused?

Cas suddenly became aware that Dean's hand was making direct contact with his skin, meaning Dean's hand had travelled up his shirt. Cas's muscles tensed up momentarily but he relaxed as Dean stroked his skin gently, up and down, up and down, right down to the hip bones where his hands lingered longer.

'Cas,' Dean said huskily between long, deep kisses. 'Can I take this off?'

Castiel nodded, almost shyly. Dean went slow, taking hold of the bottom edges and pulling upwards. Cas raised his arms above his head while Dean lifted the shirt off. As Cas slowly lowered his arms, Dean pulled off his own shirt and tossed it behind him. Castiel freely let his eyes look over Dean, drinking in the freckled shoulders, the freckles growing lighter until they became non-existent the lower down Cas let his eyes drift. He reached out his hand and stroked down from Dean's collarbone right to the waistband of his sweatpants. Feeling. Experiencing. Barely believing.

Dean moved forward, a little less slowly but more slowly than he usually would have with anyone else. He wanted Cas to feel safe, to feel appreciated, because this was, what Dean was considering to be, his first real time doing anything of this nature. He wanted to take this slow, make Cas feel new things, and let him savor this. Dean would be savoring it. In Dean's mind, they'd be going so slowly with this that they wouldn't even be going all the way tonight. He wanted to discuss that first. He'd never wanted to, never needed to discuss it with anyone before, but he cared about Cas.

Dean pressed his lips against Cas's neck, moving while he did so, so that instead of being side by side, Cas was beneath him. He straddled Cas while continuing the trail of feather light kisses down his neck. Once he got to the dip in his collarbone, he dragged his tongue across it briefly before looking up at Cas. Cas's eyes were closed, his head back, but his eyes slowly opened as Dean continued his trail down his chest, looking up at Cas all the while. Sometimes Dean would stop in one area and lightly suck or lick at the skin before pressing his lips to it. Dean couldn't tell how it felt for Cas, but he could tell by the long, even breaths that were held for a moment before Cas left them out, that Cas was relaxed, which Dean took as a good sign.

Dean paid extra attention to the angel warding tattooed on Cas's stomach, making sure his lips hit where every single needle must have pierced. Then, when he got low enough, he planted a kiss upon each prominent hip bone.

Castiel knew exactly what was coming next and Dean knew he knew it. Cas's stomach muscles visibly tightened and he held his breath longer than usual. Dean didn't even have to ask.

'Please,' Cas pleaded. 'Continue.'

Dean hooked a finger under the waistband of both pajama pants and underwear at the same time and tugged. Cas raised his hips, allowing the clothing to slide down easily. Dean left the clothes at mid-thigh and then dipped his head between Cas's legs to kiss the insides of his thighs.

Blue eyes and thick thighs, Dean thought to himself, followed by lyrics from a song he'd accidentally found on YouTube, thick thighs make a dick rise.

Dean's own dick wasn't his concern right now. It was hard, but not painfully so, as Dean wasn't paying it any attention. His attention was all on Cas's, curled back against his stomach, cut where Dean was uncut, his pubic hair completely untouched where Dean kept his own trimmed, and bigger, Dean was fairly sure, than Dean was. Dean had never thought about what Cas's actual dick would look like the many times he'd thought about him in sexual scenarios.

Dean took hold of Cas's dick and brought it to his lips. He licked the already wet tip and Cas made a noise Dean was certain had been involuntary. Dean smirked, repeated his action, and was rewarded with a low cross between a moan and a groan. Dean looked up, meeting Cas's eyes, and winked at him. Cas's cock twitched in Dean's hand, seeming to shock Cas himself.

No more teasing. Dean popped the head into his mouth and hollowed his cheeks, sucking long and slow, as he worked his way down as far as he could go and slowly, agonizingly slowly, back up, coming off with a pop and licking his lips. He checked to see what state Cas was in and saw Cas's eyes were shut tight, his head thrown back and his mouth partly open. Dean put his mouth around his dick again and continued, giving Cas all of his best work, increasing in speed every time he went down and then back up again.

They had no lube, and Dean had learned the hard way not to use spit as lube, but it was the only moist thing they had that allowed Dean to use one hand to twist and tug at the base when Dean's mouth was on the head, while the other hand found and massaged Cas's balls.

Cas was relatively quiet throughout. Here and there a noise escaped him that was beyond his control and the sheets twisted in his fingers, but he tried to keep his breathing steady. It worked … while Dean was still going slowly. As Dean sped up Cas's breathing quickened, starting to come more unevenly. Dean could tell when Cas was about to climax and he was ready for it, swallowing everything that he could. He had learned years ago not to spit. Always swallow.

Dean climbed off of Cas and collapsed back against the pillows beside the silent angel who's eyes were still screwed shut. Dean wiped some come from his chin that he'd missed and sucked it from his thumb as Cas finally recovered enough to speak.

'Dean,' was all he managed to get out, a gravely, pleasure filled sound that went straight to Dean's already hard dick that he'd begun to palm through his clothing.

'Good?' Dean presumed, while Cas struggled to recover enough to pull his pants up.

'I cannot find the words to describe what I'm feeling at this moment in time.'

Dean nodded, making a vague 'mhm' sound. He'd taken care of his angel. And now it was time to take care of himself. He took his own cock out, spreading the pre-come around the trip, before he started stroking in long, even beats. He met Cas's eyes as he did, and barely registered Cas's hand moving to hover near his own.

Dean left go of himself and let Cas take over. Cas seemed to get the idea pretty quick, using the drops forming on the head to make has hand slicker so it glided more easily up and down, increasing speed with every beat. Dean, unlike Cas, was far from silent and was unafraid to let Cas hear his groans as he started bucking his hips and fucking into the angel's fast pumping hand.

Dean came sooner than he usually would have, all because of Cas. He was so used to jerking off with mere thoughts of the angel, and now he was spurting all over his own chest and Cas's hand, because his ultimate fantasy of the past who-knew-how-long was happening right now, live.

Cas lay on his side watching while Dean's breathing evened out enough to tuck himself back into his pants and hold up a finger to Cas, signaling he'd be right back. Dean headed off into the bathroom without bothering to close the door and started to clean off his chest. Cas glanced at his come-spotted hand and decided instead of going to wash it off, perhaps he would lick it. Dean had swallowed a lot more than this.

Cas was back to tasting in molecules now, but they tasted the same as the molecules of salt, plus something new he'd never tasted before that he couldn't compare to any other molecules. He rolled over onto his stomach and grabbed a pillow, wrapping his arms around it, hugging it and resting his head on it at the same time, as Dean came back.

He had just been given a blow job by Dean Winchester.

The thought made him giddy. It had felt so much better than he expected. His mind registered the fact that this further confirmed his sexuality. Sexual encounters with females? Meh. Sexual encounters with males?

'Fuck.'

Dean glanced Cas who was still looking a little overwhelmed. He grinned as Cas turned his head to face him.

'Yeah?' Dean asked.

'I never thought …' Castiel started, barely able to put his thoughts into words, 'or I could never imagine how …'

'Better than you thought it would be?'

'Yes,' Cas said quickly. Much better. You're amazing, Dean.'

'You just think that because you've got nothing to compare it to,' Dean muttered, brushing him off. 'Well, next to nothing.'

'No,' Cas corrected him, sitting up. He decided to make a bold move and position himself in Dean's lap, the way Dean had with him earlier. 'You are amazing. And beautiful. And glorious. And I love you.'

Nothing pleased Dean more to hear Cas saying those things.

'I used to think about you, you know,' Dean said in a voice that was almost like a purr, a single finger trailing up and down Cas's chest. 'When I flew solo if you know what I mean.'

'I know what you mean,' Cas confirmed, allowing a smug little smile to take shape on his lips. 'And I know. I could hear you.'

Dean blinked a few times.

'You could what?'

'Angels can sense longing. And you were longing,' Cas replied, shrugging, his smugness turning to sweetness that he knew would drive Dean crazy. 'I never understood why. I still always assumed you were straight. I assumed you never saw me as more than a friend. But I assumed you liked the thought of me, an angel of the lord, the vision of innocence, doing such acts. Or any angel really.'

'You? Innocent?' Dean scoffed. 'You've killed as many people as I have and looked bad-ass doing it. More people, actually. I don't think that exactly equals innocent. None of you guys are. You're worse than humans.'

'Sexually innocent, then,' Cas clarified. 'I've visited your dreams before, remember? More often than you know. And on more than one occasion I've seen you dreaming of attractive women dressed as angels. I thought the idea of angels was something you liked.'

'No, the hot chicks in those dreams is what I liked about them,' Dean remarked. 'Believe me, whenever I thought about you that's exactly what I liked about those thoughts. You. And me. Together. Even if I didn't want to believe it.'

'Why wouldn't you want to believe it?' Cas asked quietly, tilting his head to the side and starting to stroke down Dean's torso.

'Hadn't done any guys in a few years,' Dean shrugged. 'I thought I grew out of it if you don't count that one time with those twins, a hot chick and her brother … but I thought I was going to hell then. I did go to hell. And then you showed up, all … hot and powerful and I didn't want to think about the possibility that I wasn't completely straight anymore. And then we became friends and I didn't want to mess than up … it took years to admit to myself that you couldn't be just my friend. That whatever it was that I felt for you had to be on the spectrum of the big l-word.'

'But you accept it now, don't you?' Cas asked seriously.

'I have, in fact, accepted that I'm bi as fuck, even if I'm still closeted as fuck and don't like the word very much,' Dean said assuringly, smiling up at Cas. 'And I know I'm definitely never getting out of the deep end of the Cas-pool I've been drowning in for years. That I can promise you.'

Cas laughed. Dean, who had his hands resting on Cas's sides now, could feel the laughter coming from deep inside him.

'Can I tell you something?' Cas asked suddenly, while still coming off the end of his laughter.

'Go ahead.'

'When we were fighting recently I used to try and do things that I thought would arouse you if you thought about an angel doing them,' Cas admitted. 'When I thought you just had a thing for … dirty angels.'

'You did?' Dean asked, snickering slightly at the words "dirty angels."

'Yes,' Cas confirmed. 'Putting incredibly large amounts of food in my mouth without choking. Acting obnoxiously sweet at certain moments. The swearing thing.'

Dean could recall. He shook his head, laughing.

'I can assure you it worked even if my thing was just for one angel who seems to be dirtier than I thought.' Dean paused suddenly, catching sight of something he hadn't yet noticed. 'Did you know you have a mole near your nipple?'

Cas frowned at him, then looked down at his own chest. Dean pointed it out, leaving his finger next to it. Cas raised his eyebrows.

'I've never really paid attention to that before.'

'It's cute,' Dean commented, running his finger around it in a circle. Cas's skin was so damn soft.

Cas smiled goofily, looking down at Dean feeling the adoration he felt present in his eyes.

'Do you know what I think is cute?' he asked.

'Guinea pigs?' Dean presumed.

'No.' Cas shook his head. 'This.'

Cas walked his fingers across Dean's stomach and looked back at Dean's face. He was surprised to see Dean was blushing.

'I've been meaning to work out more,' Dean mumbled, unable to look Cas in the eyes.

'But … why?'

'Because it wasn't always like that,' Dean muttered.

'So what?' Cas asked. 'Sure. It's a little pudgier than I expected. But you're a thirty six – almost thirty seven – year old man who eats what he likes and eats well. It's not shocking that you're a little squishy. You're still extremely attractive and you get approached by a lot of women, don't you?'

'That's true,' Dean admitted, looking back at Cas now. The blush was still there. 'I'm hot as fuck.'

'Yes, you are hot as fuck. And your unexpected pudge is cute as fuck.'

'Unexpected, huh?' Dean asked, raising his eyebrows and starting to smile small. 'What were you expecting? Rock hard abs? Eight back? Body-builder type thing?'

'Don't be ridiculous,' Cas replied. 'I don't know what I was expecting. I'm just glad what I got is something so cute.'

'And I'm glad I got a nipple mole and the world's pointiest hip bones,' Dean replied with a lazy grin, his thumbs rubbing circles on said hip bones.

'So what does this mean?' Cas asked, taking on a more serious tone.

'What does what mean?'

'This,' Cas stated. 'Some nights ago we confessed our love. We just performed sexual acts on each other. We're currently touching each other intimately. Clearly we are no longer friends. So what are we?'

'Friends with benefits?' Dean suggested, arching an eyebrow. 'Or …' Here, he hesitated, it not being a word he was fond of. 'Boyfriends?'

'Boyfriends?' Castiel repeated tenderly, getting used to the word on his tongue. 'Real ones? Like Piper and Alex are girlfriends, boyfriends?'

'If you want, yeah,' Dean nodded.

'I do,' Cas said enthusiastically. 'I do. But secret boyfriends? Right? Until you're ready to tell people that you're … a little gay?'

Dean laughed lazily.

'Yeah. Secret boyfriends until then.'

Cas could tell Dean was getting sleepy. He climbed off of him, laying beside him instead, facing into him. Dean put his arm around Cas, pulling him tight to his side.

'I've never had a boyfriend before,' Cas stated the obvious.

'Neither have I,' said Dean.

'What about Crowley?' Cas asked. 'When you were a demon? I assume you two were … intimate.'

'There were some encounters,' Dean admitted. 'Nothing with just the two of us. There was this thing with these triplets. All guys,' he clarified, 'and sometimes we'd be fucking people in the same room. Even swap partners after. But believe me, thinking about that now makes me want to throw up.'

'I'll stop talking about it now,' Cas promised. His hand found Dean's stomach again and rested there. 'So does this mean I can … touch you? Whenever and however I want? When we're alone, of course.'

'Please do,' Dean encouraged. 'Even when we're not alone if you can make it seem casual.'

'Hand brushes when passing you things?' Cas suggested. 'More high fives? Maybe you could … do that shoulder slap thing more often?'

'Mhm …'

'Dean?'

'… Yeah?'

'I'm turning the lights off and turning on Netflix now. Is that okay?'

'Yeah …'

Castiel moved slowly when he got out of bed. He switched the lights off and walked quietly around to Dean's side of the bed and took his laptop off the floor, opening it as he did. He placed it on his own side of the bed and then located his Supernatural earbuds in his bag.

Cas slid into bed between Dean and the laptop and pulled the covers up over them to protect Dean from the harsh December cold that was likely to seep in during the night. Dean's arm was still out from where it had been around Cas, allowing Cas to nestle into Dean's side as he tried his best to angle the laptop away from the two of them so the light wouldn't disturb Dean.

Cas's last thought before losing himself for the night was a simple one.

You and Dean are together now.