Sorry I meant to upload this yesterday and I thought I had but I hadn't published the chapter, I can be really stupid sometimes, :D and once again sorry oh and everything below was written yesterday

Hey, sorry it's been a few days since my last update :D I'm trying to work on that but I'm so overloaded with work at the moment, and today is my 14th birthday as well as my friend's so I had to get her present, but I'm in a really good mood at the moment despite having the worse cold ever so I'm going to try and write two chapters worth tonight to upload in the next couple of days. Notice I said try so don't hold me against that XD

But enough of my rambling, Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I asked for the twilight rights for my birthday but I only got my own copy of new moon and eclipse so I just own the first three books.

Chapter 13: Bella POV

After what seemed to be hours of endless boredom and apprehension I was finally able to pull myself from the desk and say a quick goodbye to Angela and go straight to the cafeteria. I wanted to get there before Edward, so I can show him that I still want to talk to him. To save him the worry I know I would have in his position. But he was already seated where he is usually and was sat with a small amount of food in front of him. As I walked towards him, the others noticed that I was not sitting where I did usually and they all looked confusedly at me. I briefly nodded in Edward's direction small enough only for them to notice and Rosalie muttered under her breath and explained to Alice and Jasper where I was going. Emmett hadn't noticed I was in the room yet.

I sat down in the chair opposite Edward and he looked up at me under his lashes and I could see his eyes water. I wanted so bad to hug him to hold his hand, anything to comfort him. I needed to tell him as soon as possible who I really am. I can't endure this and neither can he that much was obvious.

"I'm sorry" I said quietly but showing through all the pain I felt so he could understand to some extent.

His eyebrows knotted in confusion, "What do you mean? You have nothing to apologise for"

"I do, but I'll explain soon, when the time is right, just not now"

He accepted this, as I had with him and we came to a silent understanding.

Edward then noticed my lack of food and asked for the reason behind it. I wanted to tell him the truth so in a way I would, but I won't lie. I never will to Edward.

"It's part of the reason I'm sorry, but I think that it would be best to wait until both of us are comfortable with explaining everything to each other" he nodded and I decided now would be a good time to lighten the mood. We ended up talking until the bell rang about anything and everything and we carried on walking to biology.

"Angela spoke to me today" I said wondering what his reaction would be.

Surprise flashed across his face for a split second before he said, "I guess I knew she would eventually, for the same reason I have, but I thought it would be longer though"

"She said that you weren't usually like this, but I gathered that already"

"Angela is right, I'm usually much friendlier to everyone, well I never was to Jessica or Lauren but to most other people I was; now they avoid me"

"Well I'm always here for you to tell me anything" I smiled.

"I know, I can tell just from the way that you still talk to me regardless of the outrageous way I first treated you" said Edward and he seemed puzzled by it, as though he was expecting me to never talk to him again.

"Well, I knew and still know that that wasn't really you, and that you didn't hate me, just the way I appeared to you" he nodded in agreement, "And I know that now you regret it, so I'm willing to forgive and forget"

We sat at our biology table in silence for the lesson; neither of us had anything to say or needed to talk. But the silence passing between us was more than words could convey; that we would end up trusting each other beyond belief, and that we would never leave one another. I'm not saying he has fallen in love with me since my death just that I know knew that there was a faint chance of my life, or afterlife getting back on track. I was so happy, just because of the way he now talked to me, the way that he no longer looked at me with hate. And never would again. When the end of the lesson came around I smiled shyly at Edward who was now looking at me with yet another confused expression. I could tell he was debating inside and that it wouldn't end anytime soon, his eyes showed that, but I could only tell because I had seen almost every emotion in them many times for hours on end so I could now tell how he was feeling almost all the time. I stood up and slung my bag over one shoulder.

"I have to get going, the others will be waiting for me. But I'll see you tomorrow at lunch?" I asked.

Edward was a few moments later than it should take for him to answer, he must have been thinking as much as I had over the lesson and not about biology in the slightest. "Yeah, I'll see you then"

I turned around and as I got to the door he was still watching my back, I raised my hand slightly and waved. He smiled back, but again it wasn't his usual crooked smile that I hadn't seen since before my death. I let out a breath of air I hadn't noticed I was holding in, and sighed. Things wouldn't sort themselves out soon. Despite my new need to go faster than human pace, I slowed down considerably as I thought the day through in my mind. But all too soon for my liking I reached Alice's Porsche where everyone was waiting patiently for me. Jasper must have sensed my confusing emotions and the expression on his face clearly showed I was right, I just shook my head the tiniest bit letting him know not to mention anything now or when anyone else was around.

"How come you took so long Bella? Usually you're much quicker" asked Emmett.

"I was caught up, sorry guys, let's just go home now" I said.

Rosalie looked at me worriedly, "I'm fine Rose, and honestly I just have a lot on my mind at the moment"

We were home very soon, Alice grabbed hold of my wrist almost immediately after I stepped out of the car and pulled me up to my new room and said "Bella, we have to sort this out and decorate it"

"Not now Alice, I want to go outside and run for a while" she looked at me as though I was crazy, which I probably was.

"Why, you'll destroy your clothes" she exclaimed

"I thought you didn't like them"

"But they're clothes, you can't just go out and do something that will obviously ruin them, at least wear something that is in bad quality!" she was getting almost hysterical at the mere thought of a piece of clothing being ruined, I rolled my eyes, Alice really was unbelievable sometimes.

"Jasper, can you come up and calm your wife" I called out as though he was in the room since he could probably hear if I whispered it.

Jasper appeared at the door within seconds from the room below and immediately Alice was back to her normal self once more.

"Thanks, I'll see you later Alice I'm going to go running now" I said.

"Can I come with you, I need to hunt anyway" asked Jasper.

"Sure"

When we reached the eaves of the forest Jasper stopped and said, "Do you want me to be out of sight when I hunt? Or do you not mind seeing me kill and suck dry an animal?" he asked calmly as though we were discussing the weather.

"I don't mind, I'll just talk to you whilst you hunt" I said and Jasper nodded and sped off into the blackness before me. I followed suit watching as he stopped and suddenly changed direction immediately. His pace quickened and there was a hunger to the way his feet hit the ground. Before I could have seen the unsuspecting animal Jasper was on the ground wrestling a mountain lion. I know that if I was human and watching this all I would see would be a blur of movement, every colour merging together. The lion suddenly fell limp and Jasper was standing in front of me. He had a spot of blood on the edge of his mouth which he quickly wiped away. But other than that there was no mark he had just drunk an animal's blood, except from the leaves caught in his hair.

"So was there any reason you chose to go hunting now at the same time I was running, or was it just mere coincidence that you needed to hunt at this time?" I asked.

"It wasn't coincidence, I wanted to talk to you about earlier at school, but it was obvious you didn't want to talk about it when we were in the car with the others around, and at home anyone can hear unless you talk very quietly, which is more difficult than you think" I thought as much.

"Okay, what do you want to know?" I had no problem explain to Jasper the problems of my life right now; I could tell that we would get on really well at some point.

"What was the cause of your emotions then? It did my head in, you were feeling just about every emotion imaginable" he said and looked at me inquiringly.

"Okay, I'll go with the simple ones to start with" we had slowed down to a walk which helped me think even clearer, "I was happy because I finally have a chance to get this life similar to my old one, as in back with Edward, sad because I'm the reason he isn't happy, and that's all I want; for him to be happy, I was angry because I can't tell him everything about me now, at least not until I'm completely sure he won't freak out and leave me. I'm jealous of every other human because although I love being like this, as in fast and strong if I hadn't died in the car crash and Edward and I were still alive everything would be perfect with us. Love, well it's pretty obvious, I still love Edward if not more than ever. Does that explain it to you?"

"Yes, now I understand more. Your life really needs to get sorted out huh?" said Jasper and smiled reassuringly at me.

"You can say that again, everything is just so overwhelming, but I think it will work out in the end"

"You can always ask Alice" he suggested.

"I hadn't thought of that" I said in a lighter tone.

I know that was kind of a crappy way to end the chapter but I figured that if I started another chapter it would work better and wouldn't be me just grabbing any idea possible to make it longer

So please review, as a little present for my birthday cause I really want to hear what everyone thinks, and thank you to everyone who has reviewed even if it was just for the first chapter :D

Sarah