Josh collapsed on the ground, panting heavily and covering the side of his neck up. She looked at him, worried, and hurried over to help him, but he held his blood covered hand up and shook his head.

"Don't come near me unless you're willing to kill me." He forced out, pushing his pack nearer to her. She frowned, confused.

"Are you OK?"

"Do I LOOK like I'm OK? I got bitten, alright?! I fffff... It's OK, it's OK," He slowly stood up and looked her in the eye, seeming to reach a decision, "Alex, I need you to do something for me, alright? Now, you got to be brave for me, alright?" She nodded fearfully. She didn't know what was going on. How was she supposed to understand? Josh wasn't acting right. He was scaring her. He pulled out a gun and held it out to her. She stumbled backwards, not wanting to touch the thing. Josh's eyes held a pleading note.

"Alex, I don't want to turn into one of those things. And I will. If I am not shot in the head, then I will turn into one of those monsters."

"I can't kill a friend." She said, shaking her head. Josh's arm fell to his side helplessly.

"Don't you see? I'm already dead." He moved his collar away so she could see the bite in his neck, horrible and bloody. She gasped, falling backwards and scrambling away. Josh closed his eyes, not wanting to cry. He was a soldier. He was meant to look death in the eye with dignity. But he wasn't. He was terrified.

"Please, Alex."

"I... I can't. I'm too scared to. I don't want to kill anyone. And you can't kill someone who is already dead. God says that it's not right, killing people or or or... or that taking your own life is a sin." Josh laughed slightly, tears shining in his unkempt facial hair.

"I don't want to die, Alex. I just don't want you to die, either. And about the only way I can protect you now is if I die."

"But you can't die! You can't leave us! Don't go like Mum did!" She cried, scrambling forward. Josh shook his head and hauled himself to his feet, slowly staggering away.

"I have to protect you. Look after yourself, yeah? You and your brother."

"Josh!" She cried out again as the door shut behind him. The there was silence. Somehow her little brother had managed to sleep through the whole thing.

The bed moved beneath me, waking me up. I sighed and looked behind me at Eric as he crawled under the blankets next to me.

"Hey, kid. You alright?" I asked. Without the drugs in my system I was normal again, if not a little tired. My neck was sore, too, but that was hardly a surprise. Eric pulled the blankets up to his chin, lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

"You said that... that strangling you wasn't the worst thing Dad had ever done to you. What did you mean?"

"Can't that wait until I'm actually awake?"

"Please, tell me now." Eric sounded scared and I sighed, rubbing my face.

"Dad was a good man. It's just that his temper could get away from him on occasion. Only when the PTSD was at its worst and he was extremely drunk. When that happened he'd use me to test how sharp the kitchen knives were."

"If he did that, then how can you say he was a good man?" Eric asked in a small voice.

"Because he never touched you or Mum. Only me. And if he was hurting me, then he wasn't hurting you. You never had to live with the consequences. And he was always really apologetic afterwards."

"But he cut you. Aren't you angry about that?"

"Where's the point? Getting angry would only make things worse. Like it did today," I rolled over so I could look in Eric's face, "Get some sleep. I should imagine that you have some plans to concoct with Glenn and Maggie, don't you?" I asked, gently brushing his hair from his eyes. He yawned.

"How can I sleep when I know these things about Dad?"

"He'd never hurt you, Eric, and I can look after myself. Don't worry about it." I wrapped my arms around him and went back to sleep like that. I didn't know when Eric fell asleep. Probably at a similar time.

I was sitting on a swing chair and watching everyone pass by, annoyed and rather reckless. Now I knew how Daryl felt. He was nearby, lying on the grass with a book over his face. A vaguely surprising sight, he wasn't the kind of man I could imagine reading all that often. Probably why he was asleep as opposed to reading. Rick was sitting with Judith, playing with her, keeping her occupied. It was quite a cute sight. Eric was following Glenn and Maggie around as they went about their work. Kinsey was standing in the doorway of the infirmary, and I could tell her eye was on Daryl. Somewhere in the back of my mind I started wondering what had happened to actually make them notice each other. It was a nice day, or as nice as a day can be with the threat of being erased from the earth at any moment. It got a heck of a lot worse when I spotted Macy Reeves fluttering her eyelashes at Carl. I scowled. I knew I was seeming like I was jealous or something like that, but I wasn't. I couldn't look at Carl that way, I would just like to say that right now. He was more like a brother to me than anything else. Best friend/brother. It was just that I despised Macy Reeves and didn't want her anywhere near Carl. I didn't trust her. I got up and went inside the house. Someone had been baking recently and Rick had told me to help myself to a cookie or two. I picked one off the counter and started eating it. It wasn't as good as I remembered my Mum's baking being, but with the limited supplies we had, that was forgivable. Besides, nothing could beat chocolate chip cookies, not even... whatever this was. I sighed and sat down at the table, looking at the map spread out on its surface.

"Huh, I didn't know there was a river there..." I muttered as I leaned over it. It was a reasonable distance away, but if I wanted I could run there. It'd be a hard run, but I could manage it. I smiled, shaking my head. I'd never need to get there. There was no reason I would. Alexandria was about the safest place on the planet, or at least as safe as any other safe haven. It's defences were top notch. I wondered when I'd get a go at watch duty.

"Hey, feeling any less crazy than you were yesterday?" Carl asked. I darted a look at him and shrugged.

"I suppose. Neck hurts a fair bit more though, but whatever. Won't kill me. Macy is more likely to do that." I grumbled the last part. Carl frowned slightly.

"What?"

"I warn you lot over and over again about them, about how dangerous those bastards are, and yet..." I shook my head and sighed, "None of you listen to me."

"They only act nastily towards you."

"So now you're pinning this on me? Terrific."

"I never said that."

"You hinted at it." I didn't look at him. I thought I could trust him. Was I wrong? What was it about everyone I trusted that made them either die or betray me in one form or another? Or I ended up stabbings them in the back, as seemed to be the case with Eric.

"What brought this on?" Carl asked.

"Well, considering that I'm on strict orders to rest, I was resting, spotted you and Macy talking. Quite frankly I feel like that whole family has been too quiet recently."

"Don't you think you're being a little... paranoid?"

"Why would I be paranoid? I mean, it's not like they tricked my brother into leaving the safety of the walls. It's not like they tried to bash my head in or anything. You saw them do that, Carl. Why are you taking their side in this?"

"How do you know they haven't changed?"

"That is no answer."

"Neither's that."

"A leopard doesn't change its spots. Those people still hate my guts."

"Why do they hate you?"

"If you find the answer to that question, please, let me know!" I scowled. My neck hurt, my head hurt, and I was tired. I shook my head and rubbed my eyes, wishing that this wasn't happening. Unfortunately, wishes didn't seem to have a habit of coming true.

"I just wish I knew what they were up to. Hell, I broke Trent's nose. You really think they would just let that slide? You seem pretty buddy buddy with Macy. Do you get the impression that they would just let something like that go?"

"Not really."

"Exactly. They're up to something. I know it. And someday they're going to do something to get at me that's going to put everyone at risk. Mark my words."