Speculating IV
Word Count: 150
It was a doctor's worse nightmare.
Especially dreaded when said doctor's primary patients was a group of teen girls.
A pregnancy test in the trash, reading positive.
The question was, what to do? Should he approach Xander? Should he just hang out until he could guess the mother? Or should he make use of the Seer in his guestroom and ask Radar?
At first, he haunted the Girls' House. This one skipped breakfast, but that didn't mean anything since a third of the girls did on any given day, against doctor's loudly expressed orders. That one was mildly ill, but that didn't mean anything since she had been fighting a cold for four months, something magical that Hawkeye couldn't treat. That one had gained a little weight, but around the normal fat storing places, not necessarily the waist.
Why hadn't the girl come to him yet?
Which girl was it?
Spying IV
Word Count: 200
He watched the girls closely for weeks. Hawkeye tried to be available, open and chatty. He tried to catch every one of the girls alone to give them the opportunity to tell him about the baby. None of them did. A couple of them were starting to give him weird looks and avoiding him. Obviously, that plan was backfiring.
So he retreated to his little house and watched from there. Radar gave no indication that he noticed the change in Hawkeye's habits.
One day, he joined Hawkeye at the front bay window to watch the girls leave for the evening patrol.
"You are brooding, according to the girls," Radar said.
Hawkeye whirled his head to look at his short friend. "So?" It was amusing how the cadence and vocabulary of the younger generation seeped into the elder.
"What's wrong?"
Hawkeye confessed. "One of the girls is pregnant and I don't know which one and I'm going to have to tell Xander."
"Oh, is that all?"
This time Hawkeye glared. "I suppose the great Seer from MASH 4077 has seen something in his crystal ball?"
"It's Laura."
"How can you possibly know that?"
"I saw her flipping through your OB/GYN books."
Squeezing II
Word Count: 200
Hawkeye shifted in the comfortable chair in the Girl's House living room. He had been enjoying his nap. What had wakened him?
A furious whisper reached his ears.
"You have to tell Xander."
"I will."
Who were arguing?
"And Doc Hawk. You could tell him and then have him tell Xander."
"I know."
"You have to back off patrols."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes. It's not just you now. You are the oldest here, you are supposed to delegate."
"And who's going to take my patrols? You?" The girl, well if Radar was correct, Laura snorted derisively. "You're barely back on the regular patrol schedule."
Oh. That was Laura and Ellen arguing.
"I can do it. You can't."
"Ellen."
"No. You need to back off patrols and tell Xander and Doc Hawk. Promise me. If you don't tell them, I will."
"Ellen."
"No. Promise me you'll tell them this week –before Friday patrol."
"Ellen."
"Promise me."
There was a steel, the Slayer's backbone, in Ellen's voice that had been missing for a very long time, if she had ever had it. Hawkeye smiled and settled deeper into the chair. With Ellen putting the squeeze on Laura, he wouldn't have to worry.
Sensing
Word Count: 300
"Hey, Doc Hawk, Radar."
The two elderly men looked up from the medical journal they had been arguing over and smiled. They were in the middle of picking a sonogram. Hawkeye finally relinquished the list of models to Radar and offered Xander some coffee.
Xander accepted with a slight nod. His eyes lingered on the sonogram advertisements that Radar would have completely organized before their coffee had cooled now that Hawkeye was out of the way.
Xander found two mugs in the cupboard and set them on the table. Hawkeye filled them to the brim and put cream and sugar on the table. While Hawkeye liked his black, Xander liked to pour in enough sugar to rot a man's teeth.
Finally they sat across from each other. Hawkeye looked into Xander's brown eyes. The physician realized that Xander was scared and barely hid it.
"Who is it?" Xander blurted out.
"What?"
"Radar put in a request for a lot of money and a long list of surgical supplies, more premeditated than ER stuff. You're planning –expecting- heavy-duty trouble."
Hawkeye had always believed in shooting straight with the relatives of patients. "One of your girls is pregnant."
Xander choked on his coffee. He quickly thought through the implications. He frowned at the danger, winced at the Council's reaction and shook his head at the idea of a baby in the Girl's House. "It's Laura, isn't it?"
It was Hawkeye's turn to choke on his coffee. "How the hell did you figure that out that fast?!"
Xander shrugged. "It makes sense," he paused. "Giles is going to have a cow."
Hawkeye snorted and Xander realized what he had said and hurried to correct it.
"I mean, throw a fit, 'cause Giles and a baby cow is a disturbing mental image. And . . . Eewww!"
Swapping
Word Count: 350
Hawkeye drove home from his appointment mad as a hornet. Stupid Tim Cruse. Stupid actor with too much stupid money. Thanks to the high-profile civilian who wanted to see every moment of his child's development, laws had been passed to prevent non-medical personnel from acquiring sonograms.
Even retired doctors.
Hawkeye would have to shell out a lot of money and time in paperwork to declare himself non-retired, which could be a fruitless endeavor, just to get his grubby hands onto a machine that he would only use for one patient.
It had better remain just one patient.
From the damage control the Council was exacting, there should be no more accidental pregnancies.
He hoped.
But he knew that many young female eyes were watching Laura and her pregnancy. They wanted to know if the Council had been telling the truth: could a Slayer lead a semi-normal life that included family?
Hawkeye wanted Laura's baby to make it but he didn't want the other girls to get any bright ideas.
Hawkeye needed that sonogram!
Stupid actor!
He drove into his driveway and saw a moving van blocking the way to his garage. It had to be someone connected to the Council because three of the girls were carefully manhandling the large crate.
Hawkeye's mind flitted to the fact that woman-handling might be a more appropriate word choice.
Radar signed for the crate. Hawkeye backed out of his driveway, let the delivery truck pass and then parked in front of his house.
"Where do you want it, Doc Hawk?" Kathleen asked.
Hawkeye laughed. "What is it?"
"A sonogram," Radar answered. "I swapped with an Army Base for their old one."
Hawkeye wasn't sure if he was astonished or amused. While he might not believe that Radar was a Seer, the smaller man was most certainly King of the Swap Meet.
"What did you have to give them?" Hawkeye asked suspiciously.
Radar grinned. "I talked Klinger into giving a talk to them about the advantages of allowing a soldier to cross-dress in a MASH unit."
Radar definitely came out ahead on that one.