A/N Thanks for your patience. Traveling limits my free time. I'm at our first stop and will be for the next week or so. This should allow me to update on time every second or third day. Again, please let me know what you think of the story or if you are enjoying it. I know I'm enjoying writing it. Oh, yeah, CBS, WB, and the creators of TBBT own these characters. The characters beat up on me.

Chapter 13 Discussion

Penny was crushed. He's supposed to help me through this. He thought he knew what happened, why is he so mad now? What have I done? As the reality of Leonard's anger set in, she started thinking of how big a mistake she had made telling Leonard about this. He told me no secrets we'll work through it. His words were all bullshit. As she thought of that, her anger rose.

Leonard was washing his hands, trying calm down. I'm being stupid. Let's be logical about this. I've know for two years she slept with Raj. And haven't thought about it since last fall. I've got to get myself under control.

He was trying to figure out why he was so upset. A germ of an idea pop into his mind. He thought about it for a minute or two, thinking he could explain it to Penny. He couldn't take back the words, he just hoped she would understand and forgive.

He walked out to the Living Room, but he didn't see Penny on the couch. He turned to the kitchen, but he didn't see her there either. Looking towards the door, he saw her standing near it. "What's going on?"

Her face was a mixture of anger, frustration, and determination. The anger, in her voice, was barely controlled when she spoke. "I think you just need to go home now"

"Wait, I'm sorry Penny, listen to me," Leonard asked.

"No, there's nothing to listen to! You said no secrets." Penny was no longer able to contain the anger in her voice. "I agreed with that, and I've been trying to tell you what was going on, and it's all been the truth. I told you at the beginning that there were going to be some difficult moments, and you told me that we would talk about it, work through it."

"And now, you're mocking me, telling me you don't believe me," Penny was starting to yell. "You're basically calling me a slut and telling me I'm lying about it. If that is where we're at, right now, there's no sense is trying to talk it through. So just get the hell out!"

Penny started to open the door, but she didn't know Leonard had locked it when he entered the apartment. When it didn't open she tried jerking on the doorknob. The door didn't budge. "Dammit, what the hell is wrong?" Her anger and frustration boiled over as she began pounding on the door. "Why isn't this damn thing opening?"

"Fuck it!" she finally spat out. She turned and started walking toward her bedroom, yelling at Leonard, "Just leave. Get the hell out of here and leave me alone."

As she tried to walked past him, Leonard reached out and grabbed her. She struggled to get away, but Leonard held on. "Please Penny, hear me out. I shouldn't have said those things...let me explain."

She was still trying to pull away, but Leonard wouldn't let go. He repeated, "Hear me out, Penny. I'm sorry."

Penny stopped, looking at Leonard. She saw his anger was gone, replaced by a look of contrition and anguish. She was still very angry and the sarcasm was heavy in her next words, "What? You're sorry now? Or, is it I got mad and you're just back to groveling to keep me happy?"

Leonard face fell even further. "No, Penny. I screwed up. Even if I was angry, I had no right to take it out on you. I told you I had forgiven you, so I have no right to yell at you. But, you should know this is a sore point for me, much like Priya's a sore point for you."

Penny immediately realized what Leonard was going through. She had felt it when talking about Priya and with that realization, her anger disappeared almost instantly. "Oh, god, Leonard. I'm sorry. I understand the anger, remember it happened to me earlier?"

Leonard's face was still a study in sorrow. Penny saw that and reached out to hug him. Leonard just wrapped his arms around her and held on. The clung to each other for a couple of minutes.

Penny pulled away, still holding Leonard's hand. Leading him to the couch. She had him sit and then sat next to him, never letting his hand go. "It's OK honey, we'll just take some time here. Let me know when you're ready."

Leonard was looking at Penny. He felt his love for her as he looked at her. He again reached out and pulled her into a hug and whispered another "I'm sorry," to her. After several minutes, he released her looking into her eyes. "Please forgive me Penny. I had no right to...

"No, you had every right to. Let's forget it Leonard," Penny said. "No, wait, let's not forget it, but let's see if we can work through your feelings, as you want to work through mine."

Leonard spoke softly, "I think I know why, but do you want to finish first?"

Penny thought about it. "No, go ahead and tell me what you want to tell me. I want to hear what you have to say, before I finish."

Leonard smiled at her. "OK, but first, we have another rule. We don't get mad at each other. The first part of this went so smoothly, the last couple of things have gotten us angry at each other. As you said, we can't do that, and still try to talk this through. It's OK to get upset, it's not OK to take it out on the other person. OK?"

Penny nodded and leaned in to kiss Leonard. After breaking Penny said, "OK, now tell me what's going on with you."

Leonard thought about those days right after that night, "I was so concerned about Priya leaving that I fooled myself into thinking all I had to do was to tell you and Raj not to worry about it, and it would all get better. I told Raj we were OK a day or two later. I wasn't really. It's strange in a way, I was more angry at Raj for not telling me Priya was leaving. Even a few days later, at paintball, I was yelling at him because he didn't tell me, not that he ended up in bed with you."

"Right after paintball, you came over and told us you were leaving. Well, as upset as I was about Priya, I couldn't imagine having you leave also. As much as I thought I was in love with Priya, you were a bigger part of my life. It just wouldn't be the same without you, across the hall. So, I simply told you not to worry about it. I'm not sure you heard it, as you were on your phone to your agent."

"No, I heard it," Penny smiled.

"Yeah, well, Priya and I were trying to work out how our relationship was going to go, with her in India and me here," Leonard continued. "I tried to get her to tell me why she didn't tell me she was leaving. You were gone to film the commercial, then Priya left earlier then planned, which upset me even more. When, you came back, we would only see each other occasionally. We didn't really talk about it, but I was thinking everything was worked out.

"And, you know, we were never really alone together until I wanted to ask you about that girl I met at Stuart's store, while I was still dating Priya. I couldn't ask you about it then, as I was asking you how to cheat, how stupid was that?"

Penny scowled at him, "That made no sense to me. You wanted me to OK cheating. What were you thinking? Hell, I wasn't going to have you cheat to be with me, why would you think I would be OK with it?"

Leonard hung his head, "I don't know what was wrong with me. Priya was gone, I wasn't with you. A woman was attracted to me, it just made me feel good."

Penny didn't let him off the hook, "That's not a reason to cheat. If you didn't want to be with Priya, you should have broken up with her."

Leonard nodded. "You're right, can we come back to this?"

Penny smiled and patted his leg, "Of, course."

"By the time I got to that point, I didn't want to upset anything by bringing up what had happened. I had told you it was OK, so I had simply buried all my feeling about the matter, as a result, I still hadn't handled them.

A few months later, after we got back together, they were pushed even further back. We were in beta test and I didn't want to mess things up by bringing that back up. That's was why I reacted the way I did, just now. It's because I've never worked through my feelings about what happened that night. It's the first time we've talked about it and the feelings were a surprise to me. Can you forgive me?