A/N: I'm not entirely sure what it was that compelled me to write this. It was inspired mainly, by a similar situation that takes place in a chapter of the manga Gantz, another favourite series of mine.
It's much darker, and more morbid than anything I've written for this series previously. There is also reference to, and mention of suicide, so just a word of warning there. It's also easily the longest addition I've written, and definitely falls into the oneshot territory as far as word count is concerned.
Anyway, I won't hold you any longer. This next one is called Anonymity and is based on belts.
Summary: Because it's much easier to let go of something you never really knew to began with.
13. Anonymity
I gag, I choke, I slowly suffocate.
I tighten the notch of the belt around my neck, cutting the oxygen off further, feeling the blood rush to my head.
It's as though all life is gradually draining out of me.
But I don't feel pain.
It's a welcome sensation, almost comforting; nothing compared to the suffering I've known alive.
...
...
: UzumakiRendon: « Reply #127 on October 9th, 2010, 5:06pm »
I plan on killing myself tomorrow. I'm going to strangle myself to death.
...
...
This can't hurt me.
If anything, it gives me relief.
I'll be taken away from this life, this hell.
Taken away from all of them.
...
...
: exo: « Reply #128 on October 9th, 2010, 5:43pm »
Yeah! Go die! I'll be cheering you on.
: Rhythm89: « Reply #129 on October 9th, 2010, 6:01pm »
That's right, kill yourself. Do us all a favour!
...
...
They hate me.
...
...
: jck93: « Reply #130 on October 9th, 2010, 6:09pm »
Good riddance. Dick.
: Shadow: « Reply #131 on October 9th, 2010, 6:23pm »
Are we supposed to care? Seriously man, you're worthless.
...
...
Really, they do.
...
...
: jck93: « Reply #132 on October 9th, 2010, 7:01pm »
Yeah! Do it!
I don't understand what I did wrong.
...
...
But it doesn't matter now.
Nothing matters anymore.
If that's what they want then I'll give it to them.
...
...
The makeshift noose constricts around throat further. I hack at the pressure building in my lungs, standing in anticipation of my demise.
Tears burn in my eyes, sweat trickles slowly down my forehead; the thin beads of salty moisture soothing against the harsh cracks of my dry lips; in a descent that seemingly lasts an eternity.
I guess this is the end...
...
...
And then, it came.
...
...
The abrupt chime resonating from the speakers in a manner so sudden and brief that I almost didn't hear it.
I thought, momentarily, that I was just hearing things...
My head was spinning and throbbing, my breath short and conscious seemingly still fading; it was unlikely that my senses were functioning clearly right now.
I strained my eyes to make out the words presented clearly across the screen.
...
...
[ New Message Received ]
: ShyGirl27: « Reply #133 on October 10th, 2010, 8:45pm »
Please don't do it! Don't kill yourself!
...
...
What?
...
...
: ShyGirl27: « Reply #134 on October 10th, 2010, 8:46pm »
We can be friends! You can email me if you want, maybe I'll be able to help through this, but please! Please don't kill yourself!
: ShyGirl27: « Reply #135 on October 10th, 2010, 8:46pm »
shygirlathotmaildotcom
...
...
I-I don't understand.
They... They want to help me?
...
...
I collasped upon my knees, wheezing and spluttering once the clasp of the belt was completely unlatched. Blood tricked from my upper lip where my teeth had clenched
I was still alive.
I'd failed; I hadn't been able to do it after all.
Just like everything else in my life.
...
...
nrendanathotmaildotcom
To: shygirlathotmaildotcom
Subject: Hey.
Hi.
You said for me to email you? I'm the guy who tried to kill himself.
...
So much for good ice-breakers.
...
Inbox (1)
From: shygirl27athotmaildotcom, 10/10.
Subject: Re: Hey.
Hi there. You're still alive, thank god.
May I ask what is the matter?
...
What's wrong? Oh, I don't know... Everything.
...
nrendanathotmaildotcom
To: shygirlathotmaildotcom
Subject: Re: Hey.
Nothing really.
I've just had enough of the way other people treating me like I'm nothing... Something completely worthless.
It's always been that way.
...
...
Inbox (1)
From: shygirl27athotmaildotcom, 11/10.
Subject: Re: Hey.
I'm sorry to hear that...
Look don't listen to them, they're just cowards. They don't even have the decency or courage to say those things to your face.
They're not at all brave like you.
...
...
nrendanathotmaildotcom
To: shygirlathotmaildotcom
Subject: Re: Hey.
You think I'm brave?
...
...
Inbox (1)
From: shygirl27athotmaildotcom, 11/10.
Subject: Re: Hey.
Of course I do! You must be to be able to endure all of that.
...
I was wondering if I could ask...
What is your name?
...
...
I'd thought about telling her, but didn't see the point.
How long would she even need to remember it for? How long would she have regardless?
What she didn't realise was that I wasn't enduring this, I was on the brink of destruction.
Every miserable, single fucking day.
I didn't want her to form any kind of bond or attachment, in the end I would just burden her, like I did everyone.
Afterall, it's much easier to let go of something you never really knew to began with...
The rhythmic clunking of fingers agilely tapping the grey expanse of the keyboard filled the room, forming the simple, somewhat curt response.
...
...
nrendanathotmaildotcom
To: shygirlathotmaildotcom
Subject: Re: Hey.
Uzumaki Naruto.
...
...
As it turns out, they weren't complete strangers, after all...
The ones who'd abused me, tormented me... Made my life a living hell.
I thought it would be easier for me to hate someone I didn't know; an individual who was foreign and unfamiliar to me.
But I'd known one of them, actually.
We went to the same school together. We were even in the same grade. Who'd of thought?
A teenager school-kid; just like me. But one I scarely knew.
His face triggered recognition in memory, but I couldn't place a name to it.
...
I'd never known his name.
But that just made severing the bonds much easier.
Once you can put a name to something it makes killing that much harder.
...
...
The design was sleek and well-crafted, yet the very presence of this object was ominous, hideous.
A small, heavy, dark box, capable of destruction beyond the comprehension of a mind so young and naive.
Capable of taking the life of another.
I'd never known his name.
...
...
But that just made severing the bonds much easier.
Just like the anonymity you retain online makes it easier to verbally berate and abuse someone; by not knowing their name I was able to do this, while remaining completely unaffeceted emotionally.
That way the imploding ricochet of lead and steel did not shock me.
That way the distant, vacant look overtaking their eyes didn't disturb me, or fill me with remorse.
That way the thin whisps of smoke coiling slowly from the barrell; signifying each individual second that passed since their existence was no longer; served as nothing more than a comfort to me.
A reassurance that the burden was now lifted from my shoulders.
...
...
I turned the still smoking object towards myself without the slightest hesitation; content, and confident that I could now do this.
...
...
The ending was fast.
...
...
Painless, but still fast.
...
...
Inbox (3)
From: shygirl27athotmaildotcom, 12/10.
Subject: Re: Hey.
Naruto... That's a nice name.
...
...
I should've told her.
...
...
Maybe she would've tried to stop me.
Maybe she could have at least remembered.
...
...
Inbox (2)
From: shygirl27athotmaildotcom, 13/10.
Subject: Re: Hey.
Hello?
...
...
I should've told her.
...
...
Maybe then we could have at least said goodbye.
...
...
She called out one last time.
Inbox (1)
From: shygirl27athotmaildotcom, 15/10.
Subject: Re: Hey.
Are you there?
...
...
There was no answer...
A/N: Haha, I know. Emoooo. But again, I felt compelled to do something different. Sorry for all the ellipses, I just wanted to break the text up and try to give the story a slower kind of pace and give you a moment to let the full effect of each line to really sink it. I hope I was successful in doing that. :/
Anyway, uh... Writing out email adresses with periods/fullstops and 'at' symbols doesn't work on this site; or at least, it doesn't for me; so I just wrote them out in whole. Oh, and the forum users referenced in this fic aren't actually based on characters from Naruto, they're just ones I randomly made up. This, however, excludes ShyGirl27, who was Hinata, of course. :P
Please let me know what you think of this! Basically, I just wanted to play out the whole 'Hinata admires the abused and ostricised Naruto from afar' approach in a more modern setting. So, in a way, I guess the cyber bullies could just represent random Konoha Villages who mistreated Naruto because he was a Jinchuriki... You can interpret it how you want though. R&R! :D