Beauty Beholden
Chapter Thirteen: Out of Her Control
Control, it's a loosely used term. What is control really? You may think you have control over your life, your emotions or your loved ones; but do you really? Control is something we make ourselves believe in so we don't feel helpless; so we don't feel adrift without a paddle. It's all an illusion we create to make ourselves feel better.
For a long time Haruhi had considered herself the captain of her own ship. She made the decisions that directed her ship down the river of life. She'd kept tight reigns on her emotions and actions. To the world she appeared emotionless and indifferent, at times. In a way she'd model herself after her mother, the little of her mother that she remembered. She had made a decision, at too young an age, to never let things get out of her control. She made the calls as to which direction her life took, to a degree she was a control freak. Not in a way she would control others, but in a way that things in her life must be kept on a tight lease of her control. What she never counted on was the fact that nothing was ever completely under her control. She didn't take into consideration that the people she'd meet would affect her and in turn affect the control she'd worked so hard for, and that your feelings are what are least under control.
She'd had her whole life planned out, but you can't plan a life, you can only live a life and it was about time she learned that.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
Silence, though welcome, was never a good sign in Ouran Gallery. With the personalities at play there rarely was there a dull moment. Often times, Haruhi resented this fact. Some days, she felt her head could split in two with the racket Tamaki and the twins made. Because even now, months after their premier, they'd become a constant fixture at gallery. It was hard to remember a time when they hadn't been at the gallery. Today however, as Haruhi walked through the front doors of the gallery a nearly oppressive air hung about the place, there was a heavy feeling of not right.
"Afternoon, Haru-Chan," Honey greeted brightly from his place at the receptionist desk.
"Afternoon, Honey, Mori," She nodded in the stoic guard's direction, who gave her a half nod in reply.
Haruhi slid past them and down the hallway to her personal office, following her daily routine that'd become second nature in her long months with Ouran Gallery. Yet she couldn't shake this feeling that something was wrong today. She could almost sense it on the air, if you believed in such nonsense.
It wasn't just the quiet, it was the emptiness. Yes, she'd been greeted as usual by Honey and Mori. But it felt like something was missing, something she couldn't quite put her finger on.
Haruhi slid open her office door, half expecting a pair of smirking brothers to be lounging on her desk, awaiting her arrival. She was surprised at her own disappointment that they weren't. Haruhi shook her head. Her malady seemed to be getting worse. It'd only amplified since the show. All Hikaru had to do now was brush up against her, more often than not innocently, and her heart rate sped up and her face burned crimson. She'd tested her theories and spent sleepless nights working it through¸ but she couldn't place it. The odd flopping of her stomach when he came into the room. How her idle thoughts always seemed to bring her back to him.
Haruhi twisted the fraying edges of her backpack strap between her thumb and forefinger, her mind lost deep in thought. That was until an abrupt knock ripped her from her reverie. Haruhi turned to the door, Tamaki leaned in the doorway watching her with a peculiar expression.
"I almost didn't hear you come in," he said softly, much softer than normal.
"Mm," Haruhi nodded in response. Shimming around her desk not meeting his gaze, she took at seat at her desk, dropping her backpack onto the desktop unceremoniously.
Tamaki waffled in the doorway before coming to take a seat across from Haruhi in one of her office chairs.
"Haruhi…" he stopped looking down at his intertwined fingers.
Haruhi seemingly having not heard him continued to fumble with her backpack, searching out her homework. She had precious little time to do homework as of late; ever since the twin's premier there seemed to be a boom for the gallery. Calls were pouring in from all over the place, each personally requesting her in some form or another. Had she not set her heart on becoming an attorney, she might have had second thoughts about simply paying off her debt. Speaking of which, she was achingly close to paying it off, just mere six months at this place and she would no longer be beholden to this gallery.
"Haruhi!" Tamaki said uncharacteristicly sharply, bring Haruhi from her thoughts with a jolt.
"What is it, Tamaki?" she asked meeting his troubled violet gaze.
"There's something I need to talk to you about…" he looked away, his brows furrowed, "But I'm not quite sure how to word it. Honestly, I'm not sure I completely understand what's bothering me, myself…"
Haruhi sighed, she could tell it was important but on the same token she had homework to do.
"What is it?" she asked with great patience.
"I-I want to know why you've been spending so much time with the twins… "He paused, "Daddy misses you, Haruhi. Remember when it used to just you and me? We had fun didn't we?" his eyes were pleading, yet full of mirth, whatever had been on his mind before, he'd let it slip him.
"I don't have time for this, Tamaki. I have to get my notes together for a research paper and I have a math assignment to do, then I have four new client meetings." she gave him a stern look that left no room for argument.
Tamaki recoiled beneath her hard glare, pushing his chair back and away from her desk, "Of course," he brushed it of simply. "How silly of Daddy. I shouldn't interrupt your studies. School is very important after all." He smiled brightly. "I'll leave you alone to study."
Haruhi had already dropped her head down to the table, pencil moving across her page. Tamaki slipped out with a second glance and Haruhi was glad once more for the silence.
She worked quietly for some time; the only sounds were the scratch of her pencil across her sheet. Occasionally, she paused to erase a mistake or to chew on the end of her pencil in thought. Before long, she'd finished compiling her research notes and had moved onto her trigonometry homework.
She creaked open her trigonometry book, leaving it propped on her pencil cup for easier reading. She stared at the page for a few minutes, something felt wrong. She tried and failed for several long minutes to pinpoint the problem even going so far as to inspect the room, checking her thermometer to make sure the temperature wasn't too low or too high before she flopped back into her chair, letting her hands fall to her sides. She tilted her head back to stare up at the ceiling, what was missing? Why did she feel like there was something out of place today? She'd gone through every step of her usual routine but nothing was missing, nothing except…
"Haru!" Hikaru cheered bursting into her office, his face split with a joyful grin.
Haruhi shot up, her back rigid in her chair, "Hey, Hikaru, she greeted stiffly. She watched as he walked over towards her desk, flopping himself down in one of the leather chairs, before draping his arms over the chair as if he belonged there.
"Sorry I'm late. There was an accident in the studio this morning. Kaoru was being careless and he knocked over a bucket of paint. He nearly ruined five different paintings and one…" he paused a strange shadow passed his expression but it quickly disappeared, "well it was a huge mess," he finished grinning before looking over his shoulder and then furrowing his brow for a millisecond.
"Where's Kaoru?" Haruhi managed conversationally but only through a great force of will. Two feelings battled within her, both the churning nervous sensation she'd nearly always experienced in his presence and a strange feeling of rightness that had overcome her the moment he'd walked in the door; as if the missing piece to her puzzle had just been dropped into her lap.
"Haruuu?" he waved his hand in front of her face, "You in there," he reached to pinch her but she pulled away as if touch would burn. He looked stricken at her recoil but made no comment. "As I was saying," he continued in a light tone, "Kaoru said he'd catch up, he just had a question for Kyouya."
"Ah," Haruhi replied, dropping her face back down to her homework. She had to get it together; she was starting to fall apart. As if the threads of her own self control were beginning to unravel.
"Whatcha working on?" Hikaru asked curiously, strolling around the desk he came to lean over her, one arm resting on the table beside her. Haruhi took a deep breath willing her heart to stop racing.
"Trigonometry," she said simply. Half hoping he'd leave, half-hoping he wouldn't.
"Mm," he hummed leaning in a bit closer, "This one is wrong," he pointed to a problem she'd solved earlier.
"What are you talking about?" she whirled her head unaware how close Hikaru had leaned in, nearly smacking into Hikaru's face with her own, but she halted at the last second leaving their faces were mere centimeters apart, their breath mingling. Haruhi was staring straight at Hikaru's parted lips, tantalizingly close. She didn't dare look him in the eyes and instead kept her eyes fixed on his lips. Her heart began beating uncontrollably as Hikaru leaned in ever so slightly. She should pull away, every fiber of common sense said that was the right thing to do, but a small part of her told her to move in closer; and that small part was sounding awfully convincing.
"Haruhi! Daddy has wonderful news, you've been chosen-" Tamaki stopped short in the doorway, with an expression of personified horror. Hikaru stumbled back and Haruhi turned to face the wall her face bright red with embarrassment.
Tamaki fumbled in the doorway catching himself by leaning on the door jam.
"Haruhi-" he began but his mouth had stopped working.
"Geeze, Milord," Hikaru drawled seemingly unaffected by whatever it was they'd just shared, "Can't we get some privacy here?" Hikaru strolled over to Haruhi draping an arm over her shoulder leaning in close to her face, his hot breath fanning across her cheek, she could nearly feel the brush of his lips on her ear and a fresh blush bloomed on her cheeks.
Tamaki sputtered but quickly recovered, "Get your hands off my little girl! How many times do I have to tell you!"
Tamaki stomped in pointing an accusatory finger at Hikaru, who continued to tease him earning alternating indignant outbursts and recoils of depression.
Haruhi let their argument wash over her. The feeling of wrong had left the gallery; things were back in order. But she couldn't shake this feeling or the thoughts she'd had in that moment. For a moment she'd wanted to kiss Hikaru. This was very strange indeed. Haruhi glared down at her homework, imaging Hikaru's hand on the desk besides hers, the way having him hovering about her just felt right.
A realization swept through her. She'd never even considered it before, but it was quite possible she could be falling for Hikaru.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O
He'd finally gotten a moment's peace and quiet. It'd taken a few carefully placed words to Tamaki, the simplest suggestion that he go check up on Haruhi. Then when he'd come back sooner than he'd anticipated, he'd simply sent him packing again with some other trivial news to relay to Haruhi. That being done he could get some honest work done. This gallery didn't run itself and Tamaki certainly wasn't business minded enough to work out the details- payroll, paying the bills balancing the finances, organizing events, press, publish- He did it all, without Kyouya Ouran gallery would be an empty building with Tamaki running around in costume entertaining whatever hapless fool stumbled inside.
Kyouya opened a spreadsheet, his fingers zooming over the keyboard moving at a reasonable pace. If he'd get merely a few hours of work done at this pace, he'd be done in time to sleep a full four hours tonight.
Kyouya paused only a moment as a hesitant knock broke his concentration. He scowled at the door, but put on his more engaging fake smile and honeyed voice.
"Come in," he called.
The door slid open, he was surprised to see Kaoru on the other side, but he shook off the mild shock and instead fixed the artist with an accessing gaze.
"How can I help you, Kaoru," he asked not looking up from his spreadsheet. His fingers keeping their rhythm as the young artist hung back in the doorway.
"There's something I've been meaning to ask you about," Kaoru ventured quietly stepping into the office.
"Oh?" Kyouya prompted with a raised brow; he kept his voice to a schooled indifference.
"Yeah," Kaoru said bravely, seemingly having gained a bit more courage for not being sent straight away. "It's about Haruhi's debt to the gallery…"
Now he'd caught his interest. Kyouya's hands halted on the keyboard. "I'm listening," he lifted his gaze to those of the fidgeting red head.
Kaoru shuffled to stand before his desk. Rubbing the back of his neck, he didn't meet Kyouya's steady gaze. "Haruhi told us about how she broke the vase and how she owes you a huge debt."
"Indeed she does," Kyouya said softly, he'd had an inclining of where this was going but he was prepared to hear the young man out.
"You see, Haruhi set us free."
"Yes, I've read the article," Kyouya motioned to the front cover article of an artist insider magazine. "She never did read the article, did she?" Kyouya asked mildly and pushed his laptop aside as to get a full view of Kaoru.
"No, and we never really intended for her to read it…" Kaoru admitted with a shrug.
"Of course not." Kyouya nodded "your intention was for her to gain notoriety and with it enough clients to pay of her debt completely, am I right?" Kyouya prompted.
Kaoru nodded. If he was surprised Kyouya had figured it all out he didn't show it. Kyouya had wondered when requests had started pouring in for Haruhi, then the magazine had arrived and everything became clear to him.
"Does Hikaru know why you're talking to me?" Kyouya prompted.
Kaoru who'd been staring a hole in the floor turned bewildered eyes to Kyouya, before his expression softened.
"No. "He shook his head slowly, "We decided to do the interview together. But this… this is something I need to do for her." Kaoru said softly.
"And what do you propose?" Kyouya requested a slight glint in his eye.
Kaoru took a deep breath. "I'd like to schedule a single show, just me. All profits would go to pay off Haruhi's debt."
Kyouya leaned forward on the table his gaze boring into Kaoru but to Kaoru's credit, he didn't flinch. "Why not just give her the money? I know you could easily afford it."
"Because she won't take it and you know it," Kaoru leveled him.
Kyouya chuckled lightly, "Good point. You're a good friend, Kaoru, a rare breed."
Kaoru only shrugged, "She set me free. I'd gladly give more than that for her."
A/N: Things are really starting to pick up, only a few chapters left until the end. Let me know what you think of this chapter. :D